2/16/2014 10:51:35 PM: What a Collar Means to Me... This is a good exercise, that I would encourage everyone to do, so that a potential mate may know what you expect. This may not be the popular opinion, but I am really getting sick and tired of repeating this to women that I talk to, mentor, or even those that I am considering for myself, while having to explain this to everyone. So I guess that it is time that I finally write about this topic. This is a Very Dear and Personal thing to me and a source of many arguments between myself, other Dom's & even other subs. As I Said, this is how I THINK, about a Collar, I know that I will get crap about it, but hey if you disagree, instead of being Cruel, write your own rebuttal on your own profile or go Screw Yourself. This is how I learned it, over 30 years ago when I was First Vetted In. So, go grab a cup of tea or a Drink and enjoy my Rambelings.... There are steps in my world, that have been taught to me, that would lead to a Collar. Furthermore, there are Do's and Don'ts in Our World for Relationships and Collaring. UNDER CONSIDERATION: If you are seeing a Dom, plan to one day soon be with him, but have not yet been in each others presence, stop putting 'Under Consideration' on your Profile. If you have never met that person, quit Prostituting the term. 'Under Consideration'. Under Consideration is for after you have met and then decided to announce to the world that you are preparing to be taken off of the market. To put this on your profile, must have met this person, been on a few dates them, you both decide to use the term, it is not like asking someone to go out. It is like asking someone to 'Go Steady' with you. You would not offer your High School Ring or your Letter Jacket, to a person that you have never met. Would You? If you were talking to your kid or a niece or nephew, and they told you that they had 'Met Someone, online, that they had never met in person, they had talked to them on the phone a few times, and they were going to Go Steady' and what do you think about that. Would you come unglued immediately or would you take a bit to explode? Yet so many of you out there do it too quickly. All that will do is, if a Real Dom with Integrity, looks at your profile, he would pass you by, instead of approaching you. Real Dom’s are Respectful enough to follow Proper Protocol. That should not happen until at least you have had a few Playdates. Then you should ask that, yourself. Do I want to be with this person and nobody else? Listen, I have ALWAYS Considered a Collar, to be not only a Pretty Thing but the Ultimate Commitment. I understand that we are in an Electronic Age and that this is a website, in that world, but in my honest opinion, DIGITAL COLLARS ARE NOT REAL! You have to understand that this is just my opinion. I have NEVER, in the over 30+ Years that I have been in this wonderful Lifestyle, given a Digital Collar, to anyone. When I Collar a Submissive, it is always, In Person, and not until I have decided that this Submissive I Choose, above all others and one that I can see myself being with for years. If I think or ever believe, that it is a Temporary Situation, that I have somehow made a mistake (I Know, Huh? But even a Good Dom can make a mistake, or be fooled by a Liar.) Even though I have been duped before and have again quite recently been fooled, temporally. When I see that there is no future with that submissive, I get out. That is Easy, as long as it is a Training Collar, and not a Formal Collar. Asking for My Collar Back, that is Kinda like asking for Your Engagement Ring Back. I Have Never asked for it back to use on another Submissive, but to Destroy it, Because like the American Indians, I Believe that My Essence is in My Collar. When the world is falling down around my Submissive’s shoulders, She may walk into the bathroom at work, Place my Collar around her neck and a Calmness will rush over her, and she will feel me right next to her, comforting and reassuring her through My Collar. That is why I have never asked for and engagement ring back because that is a symbol to the world, but I have ALWAYS asked for my Collar back because if they ever are released, they should feel no comfort from me ever again, let their next Dom Comfort them. Remember to be a Playmate, can be fulfilling in its own right. Are you sure that you want to 'Commit' to this person? LINKING PROFILES: Are they willing to do the same for you on their Profile? Are you a Secret? Or are you a Distraction, until he can find a better option? Are one of you otherwise attached? That could still be fun, but you have to know where you stand. Listen to his stories to spot inconsistencies. There are MANY Cyber Dom's and very few of those like me, whom are real. If they claim to have been in The Lifestyle for years, does it add up, can you trace them back at least 10 or 15 years when they say that's how long that they've around. If it's longer than that, what friends in The Lifestyle, can corroborate his stories. THE TRAINING COLLAR The next Step, is a Training Collar, that could be a piece of jewelry, or something D/S related, don't go to far out, because the Submissive should want to wear it as often as she can and that means; out to go shopping. To the Mall, or to get her hair done. After I Put a Training Collar a Submissive, I need to Play with them at least once a week. If less than that, I lose interest and ask for My Training Collar Back, If My Submissive can not be with me at least once or several times a week then she is not My submissive for she serves another Master and I Hate to Share. A Training Collar is Kinda like Being Engaged in the Vanilla world. And Just like in The Vanilla World, after you get Engaged, what do you start to do, You plan for your Wedding Right? That Leads me right into the next thought THE FORMAL COLLAR: Between a Year and 3 Years, after My Submissive has Successfully worn my Training Collar, Has been a Good Submissive and followed My Wishes, and has proven her worth to me as a Submissive, I will Propose to Formally Collar Her. During this period, Just like a Vanilla Engagement, plans will be Made for the Formal Collaring Ceremony. When I do it, which I have only done a handful of times, It is EXACTLY like a Wedding. I Rent a Hall, Have a Big Reception, Drinking and Dancing, A Band and a DJ. I am a Chef so I do all of the Food. My Collaring Ceremonies are Legendary and I mostly just Invite My Personal Friends from the Kink Community. I Married My Last Submissive before I Collared her, I Placed a higher value on a Collar than I ever, have placed on a Marriage. My last wedding (Married and Divorced twice), had 350 people, my last Collaring Ceremony 125 People and I had much more fun there. Understand one thing though being Olde Guard, If I ever remove a Formal Collar, I am Placed into a 12 Month Period of Mourning that I may not in any way Collar another, Even that Submissive begs to come back I may not put the Collar back on her neck for a year. This was instituted to prevent Sub or Dom-Hopping. And Really if you got Divorced, you probably wouldn’t want to date anybody for at least a year. Or you were not really in Love. REMOVING A COLLAR: When I have asked for my Collar Back, I have alway got it, but that is because I try to Choose woman that have Integrity. This is another thing in my opinion that must be done in Person, kinda like signing the Divorce Papers. Even a Training Collar because of Proper Protocol, must have a Minimum Mourning Period of 60 Days for a Short Term Relationship (one that has lasted less than a year), or 90 Days for a Long Term Relationship, (one that has lasted over a year). This particular Protocol had been instituted to prevent either party from 'Boomeranging', and just become a Sub or Dom Hopper. A Collar is a Precious thing. It is the single most Important thing in D/S, do not offer or accept one unless you are certain, just be playmates... Please Know Though That These are My Rules and Ideas, and only you can decide what rules that work for you.... You have to know that when a BabyGirl is in a Daddy's arms and under his Protection that is what all Babygirl's are looking for. Some when they get it, will only ever know and appreciate it, when it is lost to them forever. I have in the past, begged and pleaded, for a Submissive, to not ask for their release. Because some things can not be undone. A Collar to me is almost like it turns my heart. into a Mirror, once a Mirror has been shattered, no matter how much glue that you use, to put it back together, you can still see every break in the glass. Once that trust has been shattered it is over, forever. So all you Submissive's out there that read this, if you EVER, really find yourself Collard by a Real Daddy Dom, Cherish it, because like the first hit of Heroin is to a Junky, you waste the rest of your life, chasing that High, when you are Released... I will add to this writing, so check back in a week or two to see my thought process…

12/29/2013 2:42:29 PM: The Musings of a Real Life Dominant... Well, it's Holiday time again, not that it matters, but this a particularly trying time for me. I have a Son that has left the nest. After Years as a Single Dad, I thought that I would be happy but not so much so. I thought that I would find great fulfillment as a Mentor and Teacher because of the many years that I have been Real Time and the many aspects of D/S that I have Lectured, Demo'd and given Presentations on, but not so much. I thought that I had found an inner peace because of a recently successful business venture (a New Restaurant), but not so much. Just wondering who I am and where this Square Peg can Fit in, a round hole? I went to a wonderful Fetish Party last night and saw many old friends and made some new ones. I have not been as active over the past few months as the place I opened was in a Summer Resort town, so I was there over a hundred hours a week and just recently shut it down for the winter so now I can breath a bit. I am conflicted a bit on where to go, professionally with so many wonderful options. I have been given 5 excellent choices for my future, I'm starting to work on a new TV Series for The Food Network (you would be surprised on how many Foodies are also Kinksters), Bottling a new line of Sauces and Salsa, that I have already been approached by Shark Tank to get funded by. Writing my 3rd Cookbook. I have a Medical Meal Service that is slated to hopefully go into Clinical Trials in the second quarter of 2014. I presented the rough outline of this concept to a Venture Capital group and Got a Standing Ovation from 150 Bankers and so many offered so many Millions of Dollars but I would have to give up so much Equity that it did not make sense for me. Being a World Class Chef, with more degrees than I care to mention, God has blessed me with these incredible opportunities. And lastly, with the current trend of Food Trucks going on, I leased a Food Truck to put onto the Streets of Philadelphia PA, DE, NJ, & NY. More Brick and Mortar Stores are using Food Trucks to increase market share without investing several hundred thousands of dollars to put in another location. All the while trying to put together a Cooking Team to Start competing in National BBQ Contests. Which is what I love to do Travel and Compete. Now on to the more personal side... You see I have always had a 24/7 Submissive and even though I am an Alpha and need nobody to validate who I am, most Submissive's out there, do not understand, that as much as you need your Dom, Your Dom Needs You. It has been too long since I have held my BabyGirl to assuage her tears when she was afraid. It has been too long since I could mould my BabyGirl into the woman that even she did not realize, the heights that she could achieve. It has been too long since I have seen the tears of a will, finally broken, being shed from a BabyGirls eyes only to be filled with a Submissive's heart that has no boundaries. It has been too long since I have felt that another's heart actually belonged to me. I see glimpses of it, fleeting moments of the respect that I so need. Thinking that I have found 'The One' only to stand in line behind another. No matter the Submissive's I must Own my BabyGirl and that is so hard when you have to share them with others; not in the lifestyle, children, a career, or medical issues. It seems that I am a great option, when it is convenient or when I can fit into a schedule. But I need more. I am patient man, I had stayed in School for almost 10 years after High School. How long must I wait to find the one that I am a Priority for and not just a convenient option. Sometimes, I can be among a thousand people and still feel so alone. I am an Alpha Dominant Male 24/7. An Executive Chef is thankfully one of the last jobs out there that the bigger asshole that you are (as long as you can back it up with skills), the more money that you make. This is one of the only Jobs that I have ever found that I don't have to Hide or Mask my Dominant Self. That being said, (and this is where the other Dom's & Domme's rip me apart), I Need a Good BabyGirl to achieve the Greatness that I always aspire to. I used to be a Professional Athlete, you can not make money if the Fans dislike you. You perform for your Fans. Without the Fans your just a washed up old bag of flesh.The Fans help Determine your income, playing time and endorsement contracts, so I have no patience for Athletes that think that Skill alone will make them achieve Greatness. If you have a Mediocre Athlete who is involved in the community, who is kind to the fans and signs autographs and actually cares, they will be the Athletes that garner the astronomical salaries that everybody bitches about. I believe to an extent that is how I view My Dominance. I am a Great Chef, but when I have a Strong BabyGirl, behind me, encouraging me, I am able to achieve World Class Status. I am a Great Dominant, all by myself, but for me to be the Dom that I Must be, I have to have a Strong BabyGirl behind me. Do not get me wrong, I do not suggest in any way that I need a submissive to Validate my Dominance, I am just saying that, for me, to be The Dom That I Aspire to Be, I need a Strong BabyGirl beside and behind me. Another thing, and this may purely personal but I must have constant contact, from my BabyGirl. If it is me that is busy and can't talk, text or Email, that is one thing but when I have a moment to myself and start thinking about my BabyGirl, I want to talk to her. Now I have had some very high profile women as my a Submissive over the years, I have had Submissive's that were; Pro Domme's, Medical Doctors, Psychiatrist, CEO's of Fortune 500 companies, Attorneys, and even one that was a State Senator. One thing that they all had in common was that when I needed them, wherever they were, whatever they were doing and whoever they were with, they would all make an excuse for when Daddy Called and I kinda miss that. Other Dom's have ridiculed me in the past for being a Daddy Dom. Which I have been for over 25 years. Now that it has been a more widely accepted Kink, everyone says that thy are a Daddy Dom. That pisses me off almost as much as it pisses me off that people lie about being interested in the lifestyle, just to increase their chances of getting laid. A Dom is Who I am not what I Chose to be. I want to recap a life of struggle to inform you of who I am if you think that I am just now being lucky. Every day when I was growing up I was Beaten by a mentally deranged mother, except for my birthday and Christmas, (which still remain my two favorite days of my year). I was given last rights over 20 times before I turned 7 because I was beaten so badly (that is one reason that I don't achieve pleasure in really hurting another), I was kicked out onto the streets of Manhattan at the ripe old age of 12. I knew that the only way that I could stay off the streets was through getting an education and because of my size (I'm 6'7'), playing Football. I graduated High School with a 3.8 and got 26 full scholarship offers to play football and 7 just because of my grades. I stayed in school as long as it took for me to get my degrees. I started a New industry while I was at UCLA and became a Millionaire when I was a Junior. I played ball for an NFL team for 2 years and like most big guys, I lost my knees. While I recuperated, I got my MBA from Berkeley, and my Culinary from Johnson & Wales. I spent 2 years in Europe developing my Culinary Skills first for a Year at Le Cordon Bleu. I came back to the states Then I worked as an intern to 2 world class Chefs that I won't mention here. I got my multiple PHD's then in California. I opened up a Steakhouse Chain restaurant in Orlando where I operated for 13 years and sold for a tidy profit. I moved to the Jersey Shore nearly penniless after a bitter divorce (to one of my Submissive's that I had married of course) with my 7 year old son and within a few months was Executive Chef at an Atlantic City Casino, Resort. I quit there because the hours were not permitting me any time with my son and I started buying fixing up and selling restaurants at the Jersey Shore. Now I am in Philly because logistically it is the smartest place for me to be for my BBQ Career and for my Meal Service to be launched. So the only thing that I am missing is My Real Life BabyGirl to be with Me 24/7. I have had many that tried to be her but the jury is still out if my wish is to be fulfilled. So my parting words to all the Submissive's out there after this way to long journal entry, don't listen to these, poser and CyberDoms when the tell you that they don't need you or how worthless you are. Just as an Athlete can't be Famous if he has no fans, at least This Dom, can not be whole unless I have A Strong BabyGirl Beside and Behind me... Daddy

5/1/2012 8:04:54 AM: Thank you all for your interests, well wishes and attention. As of now, please respect that I am in mourning. From releasing My PrincessHave good luck on your exciting journey.See you all, on the other side, Daddy

5/1/2012 8:00:46 AM: Hey all of you Dom's out there.   Are you really just a Tool? I am a Chef by education, experience and choice, but I have also been a Custom Home Builder since my early 20's, as well. I have built homes, condo's, shopping centers and 4 and 5 Star Hotels, all over the world. I don't do much building anymore, but this was something I wrote to a submissive years ago and thought that it may be of interest of some of you out there on Collar Me. Write to me and tell me what you think. If it is a popular opinion that I take it down I will and stop putting up my rants...   Some submissives lately have been attempted to Top from the Bottom, so I thought I would post this.   This, I will not be derogatory but thought I would share this with ya'll to explain what I mean by being a tool.   I think I'm coming to realize that I will always be just a tool for some women.   Let me tell you how I understand one of my tools so you can understand how I mean this in a non-derogatory way.   I have a Jigsaw. It's a great tool. Whenever I plug it in, I never have to worry if it is going to work, I know that every time I pull it out of my tool-bag, t's going to do it's job. It's not going to complain, give me excuses why it can't do the job I intended it to do when I acquired it.   It just does its thing. Sure sometime I have to dress it up with a new blade, because one blade doesn't cut every type of material. Sometimes I have to give it a minor tune-up or an occasional adjustment. Sometimes I even talk to it, thinking it just needs some TLC to make it through a long, hard or particularly difficult job. I know, deep down, I don't have to talk to it but it does seem to work better when I do.   Sometimes, I work it so hard and long, the motor starts to whine and overheat, so I have to give it a break to let it cool down.   Now the tricky part comes in.   I can use a jigsaw to cut almost any material at any time.   But my jigsaw has to know its place.   If I need a long straight cut on Plywood, even though I can use a jigsaw, I use a circular saw.   You see a jigsaw has a small thin blade and its primary job is to make small, intricate or delicate cuts.   It's precise.   When I need a long rough cut, I use my circular saw.   A jigsaw may have a blade as small as 1/8' thick. A circular saw has a 7 1/2' - 12' blade. It can't cut curves, angles, or anything that needs the finesse that a jigsaw can provide.   Sometimes I pull out my jigsaw and I then realize that I should have instead, pulled out my circular saw.   I don't put away the jigsaw, I just pull out the circular saw to finish.   I wonder if that jigsaw actually has feelings?   When its sitting on my workbench watching the circular saw work, is it feeling betrayed?   I know it has limitations but does it understand its limitation?   Does it know that I use my jigsaw 90% of the time?   That it's my Go-To tool?   That if I could on;y have one saw for the rest of my life I would choose it?   But being a Craftsman, I have options and choices.   I know that there is a hardware store on every corner, and that every year a newer, faster and better Jigsaw is rolling off the assembly line.   The jigsaw I have was not the most expensive or best one available when I bought it.   It didn't have a really big motor or every feature available.   At the time, it was what I needed at a price I could afford.   It has served me well for over 8 years.   Lately though its been overheating, more and more, and it's been making a weird noise every time I use it. Until today, I never thought about looking at a new jigsaw but the next time I'm in a hardware store I'm going to check out the new models.   Maybe just like a submissive it may be the time to be replaced.   I think I will keep this jigsaw for a while and use it as I see fit, until I find a suitable replacement.   I will just be visiting hardware stores more, I suppose.   Maybe I'll get lucky and find somebody that has always wanted a broken down jigsaw like me.

2/4/2012 3:31:23 PM: I have been asked the same questions, over and over again, about what I mean by being a Daddy Dom. To aid in brevity it may be better to answer this way, in journal style. I cannot speak for all Daddy Dom's but these are my feelings.   First things first, I AM INTO AGE PLAY, NOT CHILDREN!!! I don't wish to step on anybodies kink here, but I am a real life father, and have been a Single Dad since my son was 5. I can't understand how ANYBODY can look into the smiling face of a child or hear their squeals of laughter, and have ANY reaction but a smile and a lift in your heart. Children are a Gift From God and should always be treated with respect but they also have to know that they are always safe and have to trust that the adults around them have only their best interests in mind.   I am not a Sadist, but can give pain like no other, when it is needed. However being in the Lifestyle as long as I have, I have a more well defined idea of what I need and want. I don't want a Pain Slut, they are just too much work. I want a Princess. I want the Fairytale. I don't like to mark or really hurt my Babygirl, because I like to play with her too often. I do however, feel like her discipline is my obligation.   Except for 1 exceptional woman I have met, I generally don't date anybody under 35. The reason for that, is I've found that I need an intellectual bond with my Babygirl. I also tend to be attracted to women with advanced degrees. I'm not adverse to talking to Babygirls that are not educated, but since I have several advanced degrees, do you believe you have the intelligence to hold my interests for more than a weekend, well, do you? I also tend to gravitate to Babygirls that are Professionals and are Successful in their chosen Careers.   I'm was not an English or Lit major, so save your time and breath if you just want to complain about my writing style, grammar, spelling, use of prose or punctuation. I'm just trying to save you time by answering a lot of questions that you might have, but are not sure how to ask.   A Daddy & Daddy's lil girl, type of D/S Relationship, regardless real or pretend, of the people involved, is a delicate dynamic. This should in no way, be inferred or mistaken as a “closet desire”. A Daddy Dom is not meant to replace you Father. You already have one. This relationship is not focused on “Age Play” entirely (beyond the often, school girl fantasy) & this relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. Remember, I'm a Dom but I'm not Your Dom. I'm a Daddy, but am not Your Daddy. And I desire to have only one Babygirl. You see, This Daddy, doesn't Share well with Others.   A Daddy Dom does have the ability, to make you feel like a “little girl”, albeit a very cherished “litte girl”. Being with your Daddy is a feeling like no other. It is the safest place a “little girl” has ever been & allows you the freedom to be all that you are, without fear of punishment. Daddy Dom is a feeling or an environment that two people have created. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides.   So, What are these qualities? What makes a Dom a Daddy Dom   This Daddy Dom, needs to be the “Center of Your Universe”. I want to be able to provide for your every need and desire. More than that though, I want to shape & mold you to the image I think you should become. I see in you, someone who can achieve a much greater status than you ever have. I will be your biggest fan and believe in you, more than you have ever believed in yourself. What I want in return, is to be able to bask in my image of you. The image that I have created. To work to this end and achieve these goals, I rely on a combination of Love, Respect & Discipline.   My Love for my “little girl” goes without saying. I Love you equally as well, for who you are and for who you will become with my guidance. You are my most prized possession. My eyes light up when you enter a room & you feel my hunger for you, from across the room, every time you glance over your shoulder at me. I will take pride in all of your successes, after all I did help create you. Careful though, you will hold the most tender part of my heart & you have the greatest power to hurt me, so if you are unstable, I won't trust you enough to give you my heart.   This Love that I shower upon you, would not be possible without respect. This Daddy needs to feel pride in his “little girl”. I need to know that you can hold your own in the outside world, but will still, daily and willingly, submit to me. I hold the greatest respect for your gift of submission that you give to me, and take great pains to protect your heart and increase your professional status. It is extremely important for me to know, that you can be with any man you want and that you not just want, but need to be with me and me alone.   I know that this dynamic makes discipline a Priority in our lives. This is sometimes more important than in some other D/S relationship dynamics. In order for the “little girl” in you to trust me like you must, you must know I mean what I say. If my “Princess” is going to be the best that you can possibly be, I must always stand firm. I will use my experiences in listyle and my knowledge of you to provide proper direction & punishment when the need arises.   This takes great strength on my part. It takes strength to control you, to shape you to my needs and desires. It takes strength to be your confidant, your shoulder to cry on, your anchor. It takes strength to let you out into the world, when all I want to do is hold you safe in my arms. It takes strength to do what is necessary, when you need to be disciplined.   There is something amazingly magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it's something that only a Princess can understand and appreciate.