7/31/2012 9:20:50 PM: My eyes search yours, a soul to console, a heartbeatthat echos my call, a smile that lifts meWhy not me?I can't ask you how you feel about me without reprimandYou'd rather have me be logical, robitic, pretend...Is what you ask of me is to make you speak in my head? 'Oh Hi. I live in your head. This is how I feel about you. I'll tell you everyday.' Surley,then I'd be crazy.  Are you emotionally unavailable? -Fed up

6/11/2012 8:43:02 PM: Today a guy threw Doritos on my car, after I had just washed it. He rolled down his window and called me a dick and then proceeded to take pictures of me from his phone. Road rage is never a good thing.  I'm a strong believer in Karma. All I could do was smile and wave at him.  Oh...what did I do to piss him off? I pulled into the lane, it was a double lane, with his red truck barreling down the road, I timed it that we had plenty of space. He didn't have to slam on his breaks or anything, he just didn't want to slow down and pulled right up on my ass leaning on his horn. Just my luck, we came to a red light, and he swerved right up beside me to harass me. He was an older guy...some manners... I was tempted to follow him into the Taco Bell parking lot, but I was on a time crunch.  I bet his burrito was nasty and he threw it on the ground and squished it and walked out. Ha. :)

6/11/2012 8:18:01 PM: How do I talk about it without talking about it. The secret love that Im supposed to have with you and nothing comes through. A line on hold, blank stares across the table, but yet I think that you're thinking so much more about me and not saying. I make you talk in my head and you say good things about me. I've thought of negative assumptions that you might have about me and that's never ended well. So I should assume you must only be thinking the best things and not verbalizing them...or even physically showing them. Dinner was delicious. I feel like I pat myself on the back way too often in this relationship. But then again, its not a competition to see who can out do each other.. no, I do it out of love, compassion, admiration, infatuation, hopes, these moments where I can relax and breathe. You're my escape from the world around me. I am way too into you, and you know it but yet you say nothing and let me over stay my welcome. I try really hard to not make you my total world or smother you. I'm really into you and feel I always want more. Is there a cure to my own puzzlement? When will you finally be open with me and tell me things that make me melt? I haven't been the best girl, but I didn't know I'd have to try this hard. Please like me more- xoxo

5/8/2012 12:39:13 PM: Life's to short to even care at all- Cough Syrup

4/27/2012 9:35:54 PM: I really want to hurt myself. I feel horrible.