Collarspace.com
Horizontal Line
Vertical Line

Horizontal Line

freed0m
Pan Female, 46, Fort worth, Texas 
Horizontal Line
freed0m

Please allow me acquiesce whole-heartedly to your desires

 

 

UPDATE: Wednesday, 11 July , 2012.  Owned, collared, and loved by Capnjim...and EXTREMELY happy. All contact (outside of responding to my journal entries or an email by me), from male doms or switches should be sent to CapnJim for approval. Failure to respect this means your ignorant self will be humiliated in my journal, blocked, and completely ignored.

If you have been in the lifestyle for several years and active on the internet, then it is possible that I might look familiar to you. I used to have my own website (which I haven't done in several years so I'm not after membership fees or a bot wanting you to join something.) I was having my own life issues between a back surgery and an ex-boyfriend. I took a 2 year break from really "putting myself out there," so to speak, and now I am ready to submit to someone's desires. I tried recently to the dungeon that I used to frequent and I found someone who tried overpowering me so fast and furious that I had to break it off...and now I'm afraid to go back. I fear what other people may think of me or what he has told other people about me in an effort to get back at me for breaking up with him. I want a realtionship to build upon trust, love and communication. It simply won't happen overnight...not for the kind of relationship I am looking for. I've done the whole relationships built on sex alone thing and I have come to understand that those kind of relationships don't last. I want to become someone's friend first. Some of you may not understand this. Those of you who do, might possibly be the kind of person I am looking for.

Okay, for those of you who don't know me, let me introduce myself. I am not your typical, play-the-part-to-get-some-money girl. I am truly submissive by nature. I was born that way. Maybe that's why I spent many years in the military as an enlisted girl. I enjoyed the discipline and stucture and I long for that in my relationship. I enjoyed taking direction from my superiors. I don't believe that submissives all of a sudden "become submissive" or that doms all of a sudden "become dominant." To me those are just people who are in the lifestyle for something new, a way to gain control, or it's something that someone can do when they can't find a real relationship. As stated before, I was born a submissive. Upon looking back on my life (dating all the way back to elementary school), I realized that I was different than most, but I didn't understand in what way because I was too young to know anything about the lifestyle. I am the type of person who believes that gays are born that way and not something they all of a sudden become because they were raised by a single mother. I feel the same way about doms and subs. Besides the using the military as an example, I can give you other things that happened in my younger years to make me believe that I have always been submissive...I was just too young to understand what "sumissive" really meant. These examples can be given as we get to know each other, if you so desire.

So, with all of that being said, let me tell you a little more about myself. I am older than most girls (44), but with age comes experience and maturity that you won't find in the younger girls. I am not a slave...I am submissive. If you don't know the difference, then I doubt we can help each other. I don't want to cook your meals and clean your house and be degraded or humiliated. I want someone who isn't afraid of the sound of his hand smacking my ass, someone who isn't afraid to control a girl who tends to get feisty once in awhile, and someone who wants to see a girl go down on her knees at his feet. I want someone who isn't afraid to pull my hair, who will push me down on the bed or floor to have his way with me, or who will make me satisfy him (or someone of his choosing) sexually. I am not into polyamorous relationships. Sorry couples. If you think you can be that person who can control me without stripping me of my own identity (doesn't that say something in itself???), then you might be the person I am looking for. Just understand that ultimately, it is the submissive one who has the control. You have to earn the trust in order for me to be willing to relinquish my own control.

I think you will find that while I can sometimes be feisty (perhaps intentionally because I crave the control and discipline of a man), I can also be a very sweet submissive...and one that you may find yourself wanting to keep.

So won't you give me a chance to become your submissive baby girl?

10/18/2012 10:55:31 AM: Good girls keep diaries (or in this case, they keep journal entries)....bad girls are *too busy* !!

10/18/2012 10:55:18 AM: Good girls keep diaries (or in this case, they keep journal entries)....bad girls are *too busy* !!

10/8/2012 3:05:44 PM: We f-uck....a lot. We f-ck almost every day, and usually more than once. We have an AMAZING sex life. We are Soooo good together, whether we're having sexual intercourse, oral (both giving and receiving), anal sex, and even mutual masterbation which usually leads to me squirting...sometimes a LOT! But making love? i don't think we've made love once since he's been back. However, we aren't missing passion. Our passion comes as we're holding hands, talking outside on our deck, playing pool on Mondays, texting back and forth throughout the day, and cuddling together on the couch watching a movie or one of our favorite shows. We have date night every Thursday when we go out together...just the two of us. We have late night talks like the other night when i reminded him how happy i am that he came back early, how much i appreciate the way he takes care of me and our daughter, and telling him how special he really is to me. In turn, he thanks me for putting up with him...although i don't see myself really having to 'put up' with him. The only problem i have is his drinking. No, he's not an alcoholic by any means...and he's not an abusive or a mean drunk. In fact, he's usually quite funny when he drinks. But he is careless by drinking and driving and by taking chances on the road. i never get mad at him, i just tease him by calling him a 'lush.' However, it is a concern...just as he is concerned about my smoking and my health....i am concerned that his carelessness could cause him to leave this world before his 'time.' i couldn't imagine a life without him. i don't WANT to imagine a life without him. He completes me. He has brought so much positivity into my life. i now have hopes and dreams which include him as a part of my life....forever. i am so much in love and so happy having him in my life. We are greatly connected. i still get excited coming home to him. How many people can honestly say that? i don't like being a part from him...at all. i try not to smother him though. He spends Sundays with his brother. He spends weekdays doing various photo shoots. But our time is just that: 'our time.' However, as much as i enjoy our alternative sex life, as much as i enjoy f-ucking, and as much as i enjoy our passion, occassionally, i miss 'making love'....i miss passion in the bedroom. If you are in a M/s or D/s relationship, does that automatically exclude making love? Is that not allowed? Should i not miss it? This is what i've been thinking about the last few days. i miss that with him...but yet, he still completes me...totally.

9/30/2012 6:15:06 PM: cont.) So...about that night.  Well, it began with a day of exploration.  Our new house has woods behind it, and our back gate leads out into the woods.  We had heard that there is a creek behind the house, so we decided to go explore it.  We went through the gate, navigated through the trees, twigs, bushes, rocks, and everything else that was in our way.  Obviously, the path that once led to the creek has since been overgrown with weeds and tree branches that have fallen from the storms that we've had.  We found the creek almost immediately.  The creek bed was dry since we haven't had any rain recently.  We started to walk the creek bed and came across a storm drainage that goes underneath the highway and eventually leads out to the river (so we were told).  We began exploring it, but it was obvious we weren't prepared for it.  It was dark.  Very dark.  Our words echoed throughout the tunnel.  It was scary, but with CapnJim on my side, i felt safe and secure.  We walked through, noted the graffiti on the walls, and continued walking until it got too dark to walk anymore without sufficient light.  (All we had was his cell phone, and that wasn't emitting enough light to pass through safely.) i love this tunnel.  It was like being a kid again...exploring and going on an adventure.  i have nicknamed it 'The Tunnel of Love.'  This is OUR tunnel.  CapnJim isn't allowed to take any other girls (he's a photographer) to OUR tunnel to shoot them.  i am the only one he can photograph in OUR tunnel. So, after exploring the tunnel, we came home...both horny and very turned on.  We went home and found our way straight into the bedroom.  i'm not sure how it began, but somehow, it happened.  His fingers went to playing with my pussy.  First one, then two, then three, and then four.  Four fingers filling up my wet pussy.  It was such a good feeling.  Somehow or another, his entire hand found it's way inside of me...all the way to the wrist.  It hurt...but damn, it felt so good to be filled up like that.  My pussy fought him...trying to push this foreign object out, but of course, he fought back.  He resisted my fight and pushed harder against my pussy muscles.  i couldn't win...hell, i didn't want to win.  As i pushed against his hand, he resisted and pushed his way inside of me...deeper and harder.  He got the mirror and let me watch his hand disappear into my pussy.  It was really neat to watch, as i had never seen anything like that before.  My pussy simply swallowed him up.  At this point, i got way horny and wanted to go out onto the deck in the back yard.  It didn't bother me that we live next to an apartment building and anyone on the top floors could watch what was going on down below them.  Jim brought out the video camera and turned on the infrared mode and began video taping me in the lawn chair on the deck.  He began inserting his fingers inside of my pussy...first one, then two...just like he did inside of the house until his whole hand was inside.  Only this time, as he thrusted, i thrusted back.  Afterwards, he began playing with my g-spot, trying to get me to squirt, but i could only squirt a little at a time.  i guess i experienced 'stage fright.'  Either that, or i need to let myself build up for a few days instead of squirting every day like i had been doing the past several days.  We have decided, that for the time being, 'date night' will be on Thursday nights since Thursday is the last day of the work week for me.  This past Thursday, CapnJim took me to the tunnel to have our 'date night.'  He packed a picnic of potato chips, dip, beer, ginger ale, and some other things that we never even got to because by the time we got out to the tunnel, it was already starting to get dark.  The thought was nice though, and not only did he pack a picnic, but he also packed the video camera and we were able to make a short video in the tunnel.  i haven't figured out what he is going to do with all of these videos yet, but it has been very fun making them...and i'm looking forward to making more.  Even if they never leave our site, just the thought that other people may see them, is a huge turn-on to me!!  (It certainly brings out the voyeur in me!)We did attend Fourth Friday this past weekend.  One person there stated that he recognized CapnJim.  He may have recognized him either from here or from FL, or he may have simply mistaken him for someone he THOUGHT he knew.  Either way, we were there.  i'm hoping to start attending more if my work schedule allows it, but my work schedule is getting ready to change again, and i'm not sure if we'll be able to continue going.   If you should happen to recognize us, however, at one of these lifestyle events, please be sure to say something to us!!  We look forward to meeting other people in this lifestyle!   (the new picture of me with the graffiti behind me is the one taken in our 'love tunnel.)  

9/25/2012 8:24:33 AM: i took some time off of work this weekend to attend the annual Hot Air Balloon Festival in Plano this weekend. i take off for this event every year. Unfortunately, my plans were altered, and i ended up not going. That left Friday, Saturdat, Sunday, and today open for other things. So, when my regular plans got shuffled, it left plenty of time for sex...and explorations. And with sex and sex exploration comes new experiences and new *firsts.* i have really become pretty good at squirting, and with CapnJim's help, i've learned new ways to squirt. For example, after making me squirt *loads* through g-spot stimulation this weekend, i learned to squirt more while CapnJim started playing with my nipples...biting, licking, and sucking on them. Then, when i least expected it, i even squirted in his face while he was going down on me, trying to get me to cum. *THAT* surprised BOTH of us!! He certainly didn't complain though, and once i knew he was okay with it, that encouraged me to do it even more! MMmmm!! i've also learned to squirt with him inside of me. If he gets really turned on and starts banging me, that gives me the same sensations as finger-f-cking my g-spot, and i end up squirting some more!! In addition to squirting through finger-f-cking, being ate out, nipple play, and sexually, i have also learned to squirt through pussy spanking and by hearing the words 'squirt for me' as CapnJim whispers them in my ear as he cradles my head in his arms, pulling me closer to him. Of course, none of these things can even begin to compare to what happened last night... (to be continued)

Horizontal Line
Horizontal Line
Search for:
Username Gender Identity State
Country Sexuality Ethnicity Age Range
Max Weight Min Height They are seeking Willing to Relocate
Photos Only
Videos Only
Sort By Text Search
Horizontal Line
Users Online
Horizontal Line
Pic Vertical Line   Username Vertical Line Age Vertical Line     Location Vertical Line Last On
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 41 Vertical Line Des Plaines, Illinois Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 65 Vertical Line Corpus Christi, Texas Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 35 Vertical Line Socal, California Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 64 Vertical Line Rancho Cucamonga, California Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 55 Vertical Line Jefferson, Wisconsin Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 59 Vertical Line Wyoming Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 40 Vertical Line Fresno, California Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Click to view this profile Vertical Line Vertical Line 57 Vertical Line Portland, Oregon Vertical Line now
Horizontal Line
Horizontal Line

Vertical Line

Vertical Line

Copyright © 2024 Collarspace.com and VSpin.net  
You must be 18 or older to use this website

Vertical Line



Dir | DMCA | Privacy | Attribution | 2257 | TOS

Horizontal Line

Horizontal Line
Horizontal Line
MerryTx1969
 
 Age: 30
 SF, California