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painslavegirl
Pan Female, 40, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 
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 Female

 Philadelphia

 Pennsylvania

 5' 5"

 135 lbs

 40

 Pan

 Caucasian

 05/24/14

I'm a 40 year old divorced white female who, at the age of 34, discovered I loved BDSM with men and women who seek total obedience and control during long sessions of erotic BDSM and pleasure behind closed doors. I'm amazed that I crave such treatment because I come from a very strict catholic background. Very prim and proper, very vanilla. I'm not ashamed to admit I love the feeling of total helplessness in the presence of lovers who are relentless in using me for the most breathtaking sexual experience a Dom or Domme can create.I want Total and complete surrender of my mind and body for an evening or a weekend. My introduction into the lifestyle began when a beautiful black Domme I met in a local club took me to her home, stripped me naked, tied me spread eagled to her bed and did more things to my body than my ex ever dreamed of doing to me during the five year we were married.  Call me crazy but I never thought that having a tongue shoved down my throat and then slapped in the face could be so erotically exciting. I'm now less interested in rubber wear and enemas and more excited about tight, very tight bondage and black hoods that seal the entire head. As I reflect back on my vanilla background, my catholic education, I sometimes wonder if I'm flat out crazy for loving to be brutally put into bondage and sexually used and abused for hours? I'm in so deep now, and so addicted to the erotic things that have been done to my body, I can never give it up. The only vanilla in my life now happens in the work place and at public social gatherings.

10/12/2011 4:43:56 AM: If you wish to be instantly blocked forever then by all means continue to be a world class dumb ass idiot by writing and saying to me: 'Get back to me cunt.' 'When can I fuck you?' 'I need a whore like you.' 'Ready to get laid?' 'Send me more pics.' 'I want to flog your cunt.' 'I want to own you.'   Whatever happened to an intelligent conversation as a first greeting to anyone in the lifestyle??????    

7/7/2011 11:15:57 AM: I'm eternally grateful and appreciative to all of you men and women who have written to me and offered wonderful insight in dealing with my very dominant work place situation and my private life behind closed doors in my bedroom where I'm transformed into the most obedient, most controlled most dominated sex slave, most used and abused cock and cunt sucking sex slave you can imagine.   I was amazed and astonished at how many of you came to my assistance in explaining my public and private life and how they co-exist in harmony with each other.

6/9/2011 5:03:46 AM: I'm still wrestling with a mental conflict concerning how I got to this point in my public/private lifestyle. I know I missed a lot living in a very restricted vanilla world. A five year marriage that ended after to many nights of incredibly bland sex in the bedroom. I must sound like a broken record, but it is extremely difficult to understand why I'm two personalities. On one hand a dominant aggressive successful business woman, and on the other a wimpering, extremely submissive, obedient sex slave in my bedroom.  A place where men and women use and abuse me for hours of intense sessions of relentless bondage and discipline. Just recently I spent a long weekend with two very sadistic BBW sisters who used me in every imaginable way. I wanted to be used physically, mentally and sexually and I loved every slap in the face they gave me along with tell-tale flogger marks all over my tits, cunt, ass and back. Will anyone tell me that my public lifestyle is a wonderful balance for my other face? Sometimes I think I'm drowning in a pool of quicksand. Help.

2/20/2011 10:30:28 AM: I'm a late bloomer to the BDSM lifestyle and it didn't take very long to quickly learn that it is so easy to become extremely addicted to the system of bondage and the erotic sexual and physical things you are willing to let trusted men and women do to you  while totally and completely dominated and controlled for many hours of the most delicious physical, sexual and mental pain and pleasure you can tolerate during a long and relentless session of pure torture and raw savage sex. Many have written  expressing the suggestion that my catholic school background, all twelve years might have been the trigger that released the latent and repressed feelings I held deep inside me. Up until my first BDSM experience I never dreamed that slapping my face, or my tits, flogging my cunt and ass could bring me to my knees begging for more. More of what was NEVER in my mind before the first time I was slapped around and tortured for several hours. I crave the bondage, the control, the discipline, being used and abused by brutally aggressive lovers who take hours to slowly suck the life out of me untill I'm completely exhausted from the experience. And when a long session is over I will go home, take a shower and then look at my bruised body in front of a full length mirror in my bdroom. Black and blue marks all over my body. Rope marks still visible around my arms, legs and upper thighs. A reminder of what I freely let happen to me, and something I desperately need as much as I need air to breathe.

1/5/2011 4:55:47 AM: I mentioned in my initial profile that sometimes I think I'm a little crazy over the things other people, Dom/Domme's do to me behind closed doors. I'm a well educated professional business woman. I wear business suits and carry a briefcase to work every day. I supervise a dozen other employees in my corporate work assignment and yet when I'm in the privacy of my home, or visiting another person's home I turn into this crazed, erotic submissive bitch craving to be used and abused, to be stripped naked and degraded and humiliated by a Dom/Domme or couple who live to strap me down and sexually torment, torture me for hours. I'm not ashamed to admit, prim and proper notwithstanding in my public life, I love to be brutally fuck raped, I love to be tightly bound and forced to suck cocks and cunts and used in the most erotic, and creative ways possible in the bedroom or in the basement. I can't remember how many times I came to work wearing a bra holding two tits that were beaten black and blue the night before.   I wonder how many others live a similar lifestyle? In public Ms. goody-two-shoes, and behind closed doors  the lowest form of sex slave waiting for someone to sadistically dehumanize me in my own bedroom.

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katlouxx
 
 Age: 28
 Sw, Russia