|
|
HisHope
| Pan Female, 47, Santa Clarita, California
|
|
|
So many changes, so many paths to take, so many choices to make that will decide on the way that a slave will be formed. I've found in the recent months that mistakes have been made, which has also afforded me the chance to learn and grow from them and to decide what is acceptable to me and what is not, to teach me what it is that I want from this life and the lifestyle as well. As for my slavery, well, that is a given that I seek knowledge and improvement and guidance, but at the same time will not settle for less than what is best for me as a person. (And yes, boys and girls, slaves are people too)
More will be added to this profile in time, but for now suffice it to say that what I seek is a complex and intricate subject, one not to be delved into with unrealistic expectations or goals.
Don't- try-to-add-me if I don't know you already. You'll be swiftly rejected. Hope that doesn't affect any fear of such that you might have. Be respectful or you'll wind up on my wienie list.
"He asked me where to touch me to make me lose all inhibitions.. he asked me where to touch me to send me into sub space.. he asked me where to touch me to make me love him.. and I replied..."Master, touch my mind."
"No pity for the hurt, no plight for the weak, no pain in doing nothing. No soul, only body, no sight, only seeing, no sense in doing nothing. No fear but ourselves, no fight but our own. No fate but what we make."
I have one huge rule for my life and my interactions: Have respect. I deserve it because I am respectful and always try to be polite. I will react in kind until it is proven to me that I simply need to put you on ignore. It's all a matter of picking and choosing those who have something positive to contribute to my life, people that I can have healthy and enjoyable relationships with, and people who will not judge me as some sort of preconceived ideal for a title that includes so many diverse types as to be vague. Yes, I've read John Norman's Gor books. 23 of them, in fact. It doesn't mean that I identify as a Gorean slave. It means that I enjoyed some of the standards of honor, honesty, and relationships that he wrote of, no matter how poorly and repetitiously. If you call yourself a "Gorean", you'll most likely get a chuckle from me, and maybe even a shake of my head. It doesn't mean that I'll remind you that the books were basically written as stroke books for teenagers.... to each their own. Will I bow down to your demands? Will I call you "Master" or "Sir" before I even know in my own mind if you deserve those titles? No, not any more than I want to be called "slave" or "sub" until you know a bit about me and find out for yourself. I don't believe that this lifestyle that I've been in now for 22 years is about titles or certain ways of kneeling or positions of hands, etc, but simply about the relationships between people, between the "Dominant" and the "submissive", and about how each feels about themselves and whether they're being true to their own nature. There is a quote from one of the Gor books that always comes to mind: "The ideal relationship is that between one man and one woman, Master and slave.....". Don't get me wrong: I enjoy high protocol..when it is appropriate. I am knowledgeable in such. But, like my slavery, it tends to need inspiration.
|
3/4/2015 7:32:18 PM: It's been almost a year, but I'm back. The mundane life always comes first, both good and bad, right? So, mine did. And, while life isn't always good or rosey, it's still life, and it's mine, and it matters. And, now that I have a bit more of myself to bring to the world.... watch out!!!
3/12/2014 11:07:57 PM: So it seems that the Powers That Be that they think they are here have decided that my sharings, both positive and negative, means that I'm 'Black Listing' people. Whaaaat??? Please! As if I even have the power/care to do such a thing! I'm just a little Pisces in a huge pond doin the backstroke to tread water! Still, til I changed things, they're holding my account hostage. Alrighty, so I took out a bunch of stuff, deleted a bunch of entries. There! Happy now? It's gotten so that a person can't even express an opnion, or even hint that they have one lest eyes roll and tongues wag and fingers waggle. Get the hell over it, folks! It's freakin online! It's only important to those who don't have a real life!
9/18/2013 11:20:20 PM: Ok, I don't tend to do this, but after talking about this cake that I made, I was asked for the recipe. Instead of typing and retyping and trying to remember who to send it to, I figured I'd just post it here so that anyone who wants it can just copy and paste. I call it.
Chocolate Orgasm in a Mug!
1 lg. egg
1/4 c. sugar
1 pinch salt
2 T. unsweetened cocoa powder
2 T. melted unsalted butter
1 T. vegetable or canola oil
1/8 t. vanilla extract
1 1/2 T. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
3 T. milk
1/4 c. all purpose flour
1/4 t. baking powder
I added
dash of almond extract
a couple of dashes of cinnamon
a couple of dashes of pumpkin pie spice (allspice, cinnamon, clove)
a little splash of Kahlua
but I left out the extras
Extras
1 T. shredded coconut
2 T. toasted sliced almonds or chopped peanuts
1/4 c. confectioner's sugar
1/4 t. unsweetened cocoa powder
dash of cayenne pepper or chili powder
whatever else you might feel. go crazy! experiment!
1. Whisk together egg, sugar, salt, 2 T. cocoa powder, butter, oil, vanilla, and any other spices or extracts til smooth. Stir in chocolate chips and extras if desired. When mixed, whisk in milk.
2. Place flour in a small bowl. Stir or whisk in baking powder til well combined. Pour over batter and stir in just til you can't see the flour any more.
3. Divide batter between 2 coffee cups or mugs. Tap gently on counter a couple of times to remove air bubbles.
4.One at a time, microwave on high power for 45 seconds. For the first 30, you won't see anything happen. Then it will start rising quickly. When the oven stops, the cake will sink again. No worries. That's normal. Remove and let cool 2-3 minutes while you cook the second. You can lightly dust the tops with confectioner's sugar, cocoa, chili powder, cayenne pepper.. whatever your imagination dictates. Let it snow over to coat the rim, the optional saucer if you want, just to make it pretty.
Enjoy!!
I've found while playing with this recipe that, if you add Kahlua to the batter, it makes a delicious sort of frosting, since it mixes in with the chocolate chips, binding to the chocolate, and takes longer to completely cook down. I'm guessing that just about any sort of alcohol would do that! Oh, and adding coffee.... yummm! Along with a bit of pumpkin pie spice and a healthy dose of cinnamon.
9/18/2013 8:20:28 PM: I was emailed a question earlier and, while I could have simply answered 'yes' or 'no', it struck a chord with me and made me search within myself to see if, after so many years in this lifestyle, I still felt the same as I used to on such basic, important things. So, here it is:
Question: Do you believe in male superiority?
My answer: Nope. Nor do I believe in female supremacy. Especially in this lifestyle. It's supposed to be about a Power Exchange.. an equal give and take between two people who are comfortable with themselves, are knowledgeable about their lifestyle that they have chosen and the role that they play in it, are willing to continue to learn, and are as eager to give to their partner as they are to receive what they need from the relationship because they know that it's all about making the other happy and satisfied, not the 'me me me' that so many 'dominants' stand on, or the 'you you you' that a good many 'submissives' sink into believing. I guarantee you that it takes one helluva person to give up their control to another, to devote themselves to the service of another, and make it a life long committment that, by all rights, is more intimate and binding than marriage. It also takes a strong person to accept the responsibility of leading and nurturing and protecting another, devoting themselves not to molding them as the dominant wants them to be necessarily, but in teaching and giving another the tools to better themselves, to grow, to learn, both in the lifestyle and their submission, and in themselves personally outside of their relationship. Because, it is my firm belief that, if you don't have anything for yourself, then you have nothing to bring to a relationship. And, if you don't grow as a person, then the relationship itself will grow stagnant and, eventually, die. I hope that answers your question.
8/20/2013 12:54:03 AM: It's a brand new day, it's a brand new me (or something close to one, anyway.) At least on the outside. I've recently lost 70, yes, count 'em, 70 lbs. And to show such, and yeah, to remind myself of where I was at 165 lbs, and that I don't ever want to go there again, I posted a heavy picture of myself. That was a terrible thing for me, stemming from illness, severe depression, and not wanting the world to see any of it. So, I holed up in my bed, dutifully taking the pills that I was prescribed which, by the way, turns out typically put weight on people. Gee, it would have been nice to know that in the first place, instead of me having to sit there and fret and worry at all the changes my body was going through! I mean, damn! It was worse than puberty! At least back then I could go grill the older girls at school! But, being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and then Systemic Lupus, Plantar Fasciitis, a couple of tumors here and there and... -gasp- I just didn't have a chance to catch my breath! So, I stayed single for quite some time, concentrated on raising my daughter, and didn't do much else. Every time I started to get myself all dolled up to go somewhere, I'd look in the mirror, cringe, and go hide again. Until, one day, I got back in contact with an old friend whom I've known for about 20 years. I won't say that I did it for him, but he made me feel pretty again, even at my heaviest when he knew me at my prettiest. So, I set my jaw, clenched my fists, and knuckled down. I decided that I was going to lose the weight and get my life back. But, what's that mean? For me, that meant no more beer. And damn, but I love Coronas! It also meant looking at myself in a whole new light. So, even with the weight gone, even with the man gone, I'm starting to feel like me again. I'm back in my old skinny clothes again. And, my daughter's at the age where she's encouraging me to go out and find Hope again rather than just being Mom. So, while I'm still not where I want to be in life, it's not gonna happen overnight. But, I'm on the right track.......
|
|
|
