6/25/2013 9:36:15 PM: It just hit me now by taking notice but ever since I can remember, as far back as 2007 there has been a startling rise when it comes to what we can only label, 'intentionally cynical/overly critical entertainment snob' reviewer.  I don't know what started this, who influenced this, or what continues to perpetuate this, but holy Christ-on-a-Ritz cracker does it need to stop.  It's not bad enough that places like YouTube are infested with all sorts of useless content such as dressing up in drag and pretending to be a stereotypical African woman, turning on a Chipmunks voice filter and talking about whatever the fuck, or watching an overweight Korean man talk about gangs and style while in a horse stable.  No, no, now we have cinema snobs and it probably... no, it does, extend to other genres such as music.  YouTube has become such a wasteland of borderline nuclear travesties that I'm convinced I only go on it these days to watch videos of mountain lions killing inferior animals or possibly catch a documentary about something of historical interest (unless it's in parts, in which case the tyrants of this world will for some reason 'ban' the video from being shown in my country between parts 4 to 7.)    Why do I hate cinema snobs?  Because they are obviously doing this in hopes of hitting some big-time fame and partnership which generates money.  Yes, the world has become so lost in its own arrogance that now we're rewarding people for sitting around and recording their cats playing with a ball of yarn.  In many cases they defend it by saying they're using a 'personality' or an on-camera 'gimmick' like they've become Harvey Dent from Batman all of a sudden.  So they'll create these cute little names, speak in this semi-articulate way, and hope they make an impact on your day with their burst of cynical prowess.  I don't mind people disliking things, I don't like it when they are hating things to generate hits or views, though.  It is like going to the middle of Times Square with fifty megaphones glued like a centipede and shouting, 'Yankees Suck.'  Yes, it'll attract eyes your way but so would wearing a garish pink polo shirt with violet glittery letters on the back stating how much you support production of snuff films.  It's cheap and not done out of your own convictions, but merely for shock value.   The easiest way for these parasitic tapeworms to accomplish this is to take a popular movie, and make anywhere between a ten to twenty to even thirty minute (if mom is out at the store) video on why it sucks.  Some are obnoxious, some really do try to make a point, some try to make a point but become confused halfway in if they should keep sprinkling in clips from other references as if to address their audience with a, 'Hey, remember this guys?!'  that holds the visual charm of a child molester nudging you with an excited smile.   Perhaps the portion I despise the most are those that focus solely on targetting popular childhood films or critically well-received ones.  Let's see... oh, um, Titanic is one that is rained down with such feverish fire you would swear somewhere in the film that DiCaprio garroted a little girl with a piano wire and then flayed her skin.  Or how about 'deconstructing' how implausible Disney films are?   No shit, they're Disney films.  You don't go there expecting realism, you expect all sorts of cool stuff as a kid like flying carpets and enslaving dwarves to make you clothing.  I would love to enslave something one day for that sole purpose.    Worse yet, this makes cinema snobs become this ultra hardcore bunch that attempt to convince any viewer not gulping down their assiduous amounts of acidic bile what they actually like is something that is too deep or exquisite for us Hollywood-drowned plebians.  Typically, this leads one to cite blasphemies like, 'Ichi the Killer is a good movie' or '-Random indie film with bad budget, camera work, and cardboard actors that actually had a decent concept so was remade with good casting that didn't make me think that somewhere Scooby-Doo managed to evolve into a human and negotiate a few children out of some poor souls- is so underrated and is the best of all time.'  The reason why Hollywood movies are met with critical success is because they are actually well-done depending on their niche.  Yes, yes, there are some real hidden gems out there, but they're not springing up in some oasis that the monsters of LA are trying to repress.  They're under a legion of excrement.  Most of it is excrement these so-called elitists praise.   Here's an example you probably heard if you watched or went to research what a 'Hunger Games' is all about.  Groups of these freakshows went on and on, bitching to anybody that would lend their ears that the premise behind that movie was shamelessly stolen from 'Battle Royale' which is a film from Japan back in the early '00s.  If you know nerds, you'll know anything Japan touches is gold by default.  They do no wrong.  Even though they plagued the world with evils such as cartoon porn and sushi.    So I went to download this Battle Royale film, and wow, if I didn't read the IMDB listing I would've swore it was a comedy.  The actors sucked dick and you could tell they were lost as to what to do.  Ten minutes into the film, some girl stands up in a classroom and rather than react in shock and worry over the fact she'll need to kill all her school chums to live responds in much the way a middle-aged housewife would when you flip the channel on her favourite soap opera.  So what happens?  The evil teacher throws a knife into her cortex.  LOL.  What trash.   So, no dorks, but your horrible obscure movies are not good to be recognized worldwide because they don't have what it takes to meet accolades beyond anything as cult status.  Some people think Ed Wood was a mad genius, I think he sucked at making movies.  Then again, even if it did become popular would these people lose their mind and begin to hate that simply due to the fact that it is now being spoken by the average person.    No, not every movie that's popular is by default good.  But most usually are.  People will be talking about the Shawshank Redemptions and Forrest Gumps of this world for decades, nobody is going to reach orgasm when you bring Evil Dead into conversation.    Because Evil Dead sucks.   Resume with your life.

6/23/2013 2:43:25 AM: A common question I have been asked in the past (or when brought up) has been why I do not bother to pursue modeling, even as a way to generate side income.  The answer to that is clear:   Modeling is a crock of bullshit.  Anybody that thinks they're going to be the next big breakthrough is a delusional moron.  Not saying that it isn't possible, but the likelihood of it happening is so low you'd have better luck finding a way to get a fish to sprout legs and scamper around town while singing 'God Save the Queen.'  No, modeling is quite a filthy industry behind the painted world it enjoys putting out there for the average marks to indulge and idolize in.  Some people don't really believe it, or think that these are more or less, isolated scenarios with shady people.  Wake up, dipshits, but being physically attractive isn't difficult to do.  Any guy that diets correctly can get abs, any girl that commits to exercise remains a healthy weight, why do you think the planet has no shortage of pictures with people taking pictures of their muscular physique in mirrors?  Because it is attainable by anyone.  When it comes to models, you're dime a dozen and easily replaced.   So when this happens, you naturally must do a lot of oddball tasks which clearly subscribes to exploitation.  Many people want to model to become recognized from that alone and then build off it.  They think having a picture in a magazine will make them a star.  What they don't mention is that you're going to have to basically work for an agency that in many cases doubles as an escort service.    I won't even get into the things guys have to do.  In fact, I can confidently assure you that any male model has very likely engaged in homosexual activities to get ahead or so they'd think.  They also die out extremely quickly/have an expiration date.  Find any random one out there and I'll bet you in ten years you would think he vanished off the face of the earth or became a car salesman.  Females are turned into glorified prostitutes.  Sure, sure, people will tell you or maybe a model them self will state that they don't feel that way and everything is peachy but do you know why they say that?   Because they're stupid.   The ones being taken advantage of likely had this entire fantasy from a young age and got into the business only to be blindsided by all the hurdles they need to jump over and laps they have to dance on.  Agencies want for them to go with rich men out for dinner since that is social networking and they can connect with other people easily through positive impression.  How do you get that impression?  By blowing them.  They won't tell people that they basically exist to be jerked off to by adolescent boys and become vessels for wealthy men to empty their lecherous desires into.  They have become psychologically trapped and reason because they get to be around high-class low lives and travel a lot that this is an idealistic paradise.    It is not even to be discouraging, but the gap from being a professional model from your random local is too much a leap to make.  You either go in there with an extremely powerful backing already, or you turn your orifices into a bowling alley from all the peculiar tasks you'll be sent out to do.  Being a success is not going to be gained from smiling and walking down a runway like everyone else is instructed to.  It'll come down to who is the 'easiest to work with.'  And to achieve that grand accolade is not going to come from standing in front of a camera lens.    Working for big names doesn't mean anything either.  The photographers basically see that you need them more than they need you.  You'll be in Vogue, yet make as much as a janitor.  Only the janitor will likely be cleaner, in an abrupt twist of fate.   Of course, you'll have the retarded types that will defend this industry.  They may even say that it is competitive like anything else that is popular.  The difference here is, you can tell a good lawyer from a bad one.  You can't place the same science on beauty, and thus, it comes down to how much a person is willing to part with their pride.    Don't buy into the hype, children.  Be an actual service to the world and not a lawn flamingo. 

6/19/2013 6:23:39 PM: People that claim to be, 'in tune with nature' deserve to be attacked by a pack of wolves.  Or maybe summon an anvil to drop on their head.  Possibly a combination of wolves with anvils for heads attacking them from out the sky?  That would be cool and in some way eldritch.   

5/28/2013 8:48:54 AM: To this day I'm not sure I fully grasp the concept of what a 'juggalo' is supposed to be.  But damn, does it have a lot of ugly people in it.

5/21/2013 7:52:21 PM: ...There's a subculture of freakshows that gallivant around, wearing 'fursuits' and believing they're actually animals.      This is what Hell is like.  I'm in Hell.  Yes, this is what it is.