9/30/2010 2:30:33 AM: i have always had a feminine side, when i was younger my Mother used to laugh at my little penis and soft girly body. She used to say she wanted me to be a girl before i was born. When i got a bit older she used to take me into the ladies toilet until i was about 11 and she made me sit to pee like a girl. At school i never felt relaxed at standing at the urinals. When i was 12 i would sneak into her bedroom and try on her panties and bras and corselettes and suspender belts and so on. I loved the feel and the way they shaped me into a more feminine body. I have always had quite girly breasts and prominent nipples. When i was 15 i discovered that men liked me in panties and i used to let men pick me up and take me in their cars they would feel my little cock through my panties and i would suck them. I always swallowed, it never crossed my mind to spit it out. Then i left home and felt ashamed of my desires. I kept it all closeted and yet i still met older men and i became more submissive. I was so ashamed that i hid and pretended to be straight and had girlfriends and so on. In the last couple of years i have become more and more aware that my submissive nature and my feminine side have been supressed for too long. I discovered Collarspace and now i am exploring my desires and learning that this makes me feel happier than anything else i do.