Over the past few weeks, i have recieved many offers of ownership, from many interesting people. I have learned a lot more about what kind of relationships are out there, and what kind of relationships will and won't fit me. From these experiences, i have made observations, and determined some idea of what i need.I understand the basic concept of a slave. Someone who is completely owned by another, without rights or privileges, without freedom, without pleasure or distraction. Without anything except that what is allowed by their owner.But I understand, too, that not all potential owners are the same. Each has their own things they will control, allow, or even encourage. What is anathema to one, is vital to another. And so i recognise that while i give all control to my owner, it is still down to me who i will choose to be that person. And i would choose them based on their desires matching up with my needsThis document is a compilation and approximate description of the conditions that i will flourish in. Like a plant needs the right soil and climate to grow. Not all slaves are the same.Without farther ado: I need trust and safety:Top of the list because it is the most important.If we have this, everything else in the world is manageableIf we don't, nothing can compensate for it.These should be a given, but its worth exploring it more.As a slave, i will put my life into my owner's hands. My wellbeing and future are theirs to determine. Given this, i need to know that the person i am entrusting, will use this gift well, that they will protect me, that they will respect any conditions we agreed upon, and not exploit me.I need an owner who will not throw me in harms' way. For a start by keeping me out of, or safe within, situations where there might be a threat of violence or crime.But I also need to know they won't give me crazy orders that cause harm or make me do dangerous/illegal things.I am still learning what unsafe situations look like, i hope i will know them when i see them.  I need control and disciplineI was recently offered a domestic discipline arrangement, I ultimately declined this because i felt it was too lax and permissive, i need a deeper level of control. This was the right direction, but it didn't go far enoughI've also seen some relationships advertised where the sub is essentially a supermax prisoner, or worse. Permanant bondage, destruction of identity, faceless tormentors, zero autonomy. I did not apply for these, they seemed too controlling.So there are some extremes, what i need is somewhere in the middle.  I need a certain level of oversight, control, and management. I need a guiding hand in my life to keep me on the right path, to set my priorities, and to ensure that rewards come after effort, not before.I don't know how much control yet, until then i live and learn. I need social contact:Although my owner is my world, and any other slaves are my sisters in service, I believe that these relationships alone will not be enough. Although i do have a kink for cages and confinement in small, or even moderately large doses, i couldn't live forever in a gilded cage. No amount of luxury or pleasure or control can truly compensate for isolation.I need people outside of our relationship to talk to. Not just online friends, but physical in person contacts too. I seek an owner who has at least a semi-active social life, who will take me to clubs, or to meet his friends in the local community.I don't seek to keep secrets on that account, i will happily inform my owner of everyone i interact with and everything we do. And it is of course my owner's perogative to control who i can speak to and associate with, i beg that this not be enforced too often :(I don't necessarily seek sexual contact either, these friends can be purely platonic. But i would certainly love to be sent to serve others, allowed to participate in sexual activities, or used to provide services that will involve me engaging with other peopleWoman is a social creature, and i must connect with people. I need to be utilized to my full potential:As a slave I provide domestic services, cooking, cleaning, laundry, et al. And sexual services of just about every kind. And i can provide more niche fetish services, like being a urinal.But being highly intelligent, i can do a lot of other things too. ..... I truly believe that service is what I'm meant for, and am happy to provide more, were we to discuss things......I want to make your dreams come true! I need patienceAutism makes me think unusually. I'm not great with vague or emotional descriptions, when learning about people and places and things, i work best with anecdotes. I like specific, concrete, technical, material details. I will try my best to adapt to how you speak and do things, but there will necessarily be a degree of you adapting to me too :(I can hyperfocus on tasks and become obsessed, i go above and beyond to please. And I tend to think and plan ahead, far ahead. Sometimes i will seem dispassionate or emotionless, other times clingy and needy. When i'm upset i tend to write large volumes of stuff, and i may need a careful hand in calming me down. Sometimes i will get scared, or misinterpret things, i worry a lot, i overthink and get stressed. I need someone who can listen to my complex rambling inner monologues and help me sort them outI will take some getting used to, but i promise i'm worth it!   I need a place to belong:I crave to be part of something larger. A relationship, a family unit, a community, whatever. The details are flexible, but a general sense of belonging and knowing my place is needed.I can't be kept at arms' length, to be a side whore. If you have an existing relationship, i need to be a full part of it, i need to live with you in your home, and be a part of your life, and the lives of your partner(s) or other slaves.I can't be hidden away from the world. I need love and appreciationLove conquers all, and for someone i love, i will do anything. My love is not jealous or posessive, it can be shared with anyone in your household, ill never want you all to myself, i will devote mind body and soul to your serviceBut i do kind of need the same energy back. I need an owner who has room in their heart for love, who isn't closed off or distant.And i need regular encouragement and appreciation. headpats are always welcome, 'good girl' is the highest praiseI want to be a treasure to someone, valued for more than the sum of my parts, as i shower upon them a self destructive level of devotion and worship.Ultimately, i want to be loved, doesn't anyone?

'Profile Not Found'Just for future information, if you ever try to message me or look at my profile, and it says Profile Not Found, that just means the profile is awaiting approval, probably after some small edit or new picture upload. Theres no way to guess how long this will take, sometimes its a few minutes, sometimes days or weeks, its all an opaque black box, a faceless torment machine we all have to endureI'm very unhappy with this approval system collarspace uses, it is ancient, slow, and surely resource intensive. Maybe it works as an anti spam measure, but every other site out there solves this problem without such a systemThey could at least, after seeing a well written profile that engages with others, mark it as trusted so it doesnt need to go through approval in future. This whoe thing feels like a needless waste of everyone's time and resources :(   On a related note, today i spoke with a user whose profile was not found, even while he was still messaging me. Given that you cant message while awaiting approval, something else must have been causing this, but both of us were clueless as to what. Any ideas what it could mean?

RigidityI have recently discovered something about my psyche. I have a very rigid mind, or at least when it comes to roles. I like dominants to be dominant, and subs to be subs. I like hierarchies, both parties knowing their place makes a relationship work, i feelBut my mentality has a few downsides too: Once roles are realised, i don't know if i can ever see someone in a different light. If a dominant wants to submit for a change, i can't handle that, If they start acting contrary to their established role, it just causes damage to my mental image of that person, and my respect for them   I also group kinks into these rigid roles. There are a variety of things that i feel are 'submissive acts', and a dominant doing them makes me uncomfortable in the same way, even if they are just doing the things they want to do. These include things like: -consuming urine -wearing chastity -Worshipping feet -being penetrated -Begging, or pleading   And to a certain lesser extent, rimming and giving oral The list is not exhaustive These are all things that i, as a sub, am generally comfortable and happy with, But i can't really deal with a dominant choosing or maybe even wanting to do these things, it feels wrong. Amd I get 'the ick' These have largely not been a problem, but there are a few edge cases where i talk to someone promising, and then they reveal wanting to do stuff like this, and it kills everyting. Not all at once though, i try to explain whats wrong, they usually understand, don't talk about those desires again for a while. But unfulfilled desire always resurface, and someone who wants to be penetrated is eventually going to ask me again to do it. And again, and again.   I guess we can say that 'dominants doing submissive things' is one of my hard limits. it makes me irreconcileably uncomfortable and wears down the respect i have for a person.   I dont think i can change the way i think,maybe others can't either. i'm seeking a dominant who likes this kind of rigid hierarchy too.