Long-time enthusiast now in a position to plumb new nadirs of sordid behaviour, what with being unattached and retired and everything.

Ideally you are young, female, presentable in polite society and you dress to please. You are ready to submit to my will, but have a spark of life. You are keen to a long-term relationship, but want a partner who is a friend, not a bully. You are a human being first, and a sub second. You will like a drink and a smoke.

I, on the other hand, am an old man laid low by hard work and neglect. As someone once said, if I'd known I was going to live this long I'd've taken better care of myself. I'm old-fashioned enough to wear a collar and tie on nights out; if women make the effort then so should I. Oi! Not that sort of collar! I gave up the booze for Lent, and thought it pointless to start again just because the 40 days was up, but I still prefer the company of drinkers. When I say "young" I mean younger than me, which is almost all of you. The profile-name comes from an advert for toys in the late 60s. I did it in a moment of madness, but it's too late to change it now.

Mr Tonka is an Equal Opportunity employer; I'll do anything to anyone, given half a chance:-)

(Apart from poxed-up old mingers, obviously. And Trannies.)

Probably not allowed to say that last bit nowadays, but there you go.
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