I can no longer leave the American state field blank so Ive chosen NY since I love NYC. Im in Nova Scotia Canada.

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The even shorter version I have NO interest in toilet play, forced bi, sissification, casual encounters, cuckolding, or people already in relationships. I am looking for a lifemate, not a playmate.

The short version Be single, educated, professional, looking for a real time Dsvanilla relationship, a nonsmoker, 35ish-50ish years old. I am an experienced Domme with a meaningful career, sensual and playful, interested in a man who can be both slave and partner. Kink is not everything. Psychological, emotional, and physical chemistry needed. Be willing to travel, and to relocate if we develop a serious relationship. If you have young children, your ability to pursue a relationship with me is unlikely as you will rightfully be focussed on them and therefore not have the ability to travel frequently or share your vacations with me.
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Please call me Miss or MsX (only one X). Do NOT call me Mistress!

I am looking for something - someone - extraordinary. Is it you?

Please be
- 40-50ish
- a non-smoker (including recreational drugs)
- singleunattached
- educated and professional
- not looking for online or casual play
- not looking for sissification, forced fem, crossdressing, etc.
- willing to provide a photo (chemistry matters)
- long distance (this is different from online!) is fine if the connection is strong - but expect that we will meet sooner than later
- bonus points if you are a European stranded in the new world
- even more bonus points if you are a good cook!

Im seeking an emotionally available subslave who is able to fully commit to the right relationship. No married men, no casual play partners, not interested in bedroom only kink. Please be under 53, over 35, and a non-smoker.

Because of the limits of finding someone local, I am open to long distance connections with the intention of meeting. My top choices are NYC, Toronto, London (Ontario), Montreal, Ottawa, and maybe Boston and London (England).

A male sub suggested this line for my profile if you cage the mind, you cage the body. I am definitely a psychological Domme, and this summarizes my philosophy very nicely. I am the sort of person who would never lock the cage door ... because I expect you to WANT to stay.

A sensual, nurturing Domme rather than a physical sadist, my mildness or extremity depends on the intensity of our connection, and my own limits are based more on our intimacy than on a checklist. If you press for specific fetishes, I love humiliation, orgasm control, and twisting you around till you dont know which way is up.

For those who are focussed on overt power exchange activities (BDSM play), note that I am seeking a female-led relationship that is constant, not based on whether or not you are aroused. Play is much down my list and Im not satisfied with submissiveness built on controlling your cock, nor am I interested in a relationship sustained by the sexual thrill you get from my personality. Chemistry is critical, but its far from the only thing I seek. And to further clarify, no, Im not seeking a yes man (doormat, pussy, whatever), but a strong male who is chivalrous and treats me as his Queen. The man gets a vote, but the woman gets a vote and a half. Sometimes, the relationship may feel and seem vanilla, but there will always be the tiny undercurrent that I have 51 of the power, and we like it this way.

Leadership styles can be characteristized by hard and soft power. Mine is definitely on the soft side I will suggest or lead you somewhere rather than bark orders. That isnt to say Im not firmly in control simply put, I believe a sub should desire to serve me without needing to be punished in order to elicit the behaviour I want. You are not Pavlovs dog you need to pay attention. If you cant see my dominance, thats more about you than me. If you are unable to pick up nuance, I will lose interest in you quickly.

Its critically important that a sub be able to read, understand, and anticipate a Domme, not simply be willing and open to her. Willing to do whatever I say is NOT the same as doing what I want before I have to tell you. This isnt a sexual thing to me, but a relationship dynamic.

Im professional with a demanding career, loyal, intelligent, picky, loving, and caring. Quick witted and expect the same. I love--and need--to laugh. Im easy going, forgiving and pleasant, but dont EVER fall into the assumption that my expectations arent high.

After talking to thousands (yes, thousands) of men online over the last 20 years, dont be surprised if I make up my mind about whether Im interested in you in three or four emails. No, Im not an online Domme. I have had a long term Ds relationship with a live-in slave, as well as several shorter RL Ds connections.

I enjoy talking to intelligent and eloquent people if a relationship develops, so much the better. And just to be clear for those who werent paying attention earlier, a relationship is not simply sex (or for those who fantasize about chastity, a lack thereof )).

When contacting me, please write respectfully, with complete sentences and appropriate punctuation. Yes, spelling counts. No, letters about yourself or your fantasies without any reference to a topic in my profile or journal are not good enough. I used to reply to everything I got, but since so much of what I believe and think is in my profile and extensive journal, Im unlikely to answer surface questions that you can find the answers to by doing your homework.

Finally, yes, I have photos. No, I will not send them on the first message. However, I expect you to share yours immediately. Yes, thats a double standard. Im a Domme ) If I find you attractive, I will share my photos to ensure that you feel the same.

MsX

PS I read this excellent summary in a subs profile of how I picture the subs situation in my perfect relationship. I quote (with thanks to yournicholas) I expect that I would be free to make decisions, but the scope of my decision-making authority is governed by her judgement as to where it should begin and where it should end. Also, any and all of my decisions would always be subject to her review and revision. My schedule and priorities should be a function of her best interests, and I would always endeavor to proactively overachieve in my highest aspiration of her happiness and fulfillment.

PPS The photo is of me peeking over my hardwood paddle ...
PPPS Do NOT call me Mistress, Maam, or Msxx
PPPPS Yes, they are really my eyes