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DommeShilo
Hetero Female Dominant, 50, Virginia US 
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DommeShilo

Before approaching me, please read my profile and skim my journals. Your approach needs to include a one paragraph response concerning some issue that I have written about as well as why you think you would be a good fit for me.


SIMPLY STATING THAT YOU READ MY PROFILE FOLLOWED BY GENERIC INFORMATION ABOUT YOU THAT COULD APPLY TO ANY DOMINANT DOES NOT COUNT. If you approach does not include information SPECIFIC to the things I have written about in my journals and profile, then I will assume you are lazy, are sending bulk generic cut-and-paste introductions, or just canít be bothered to accommodate my approach preferences. None of those are good signs for your potential value as a submissive to anyone. If you are cutting and pasting your approach and bulk emailing every female on this siteÖ.just go pay a pro and stop inflicting yourself on lifestyle dominants. I am not a pro, so don't treat me like that is all you deserve.†


Fucks sake. How much more clear can I make that? STILL I get 20 incoming messages a week from guys that just ignore it, then have the gall to be pissed off at ME when I point it out (see my first journal) and then you wonder why all there is on this site are fucking findommes and grifters. JFC.†


....

 

I am well educated and have over 15 years of experience in the lifestyle community on both sides of the D/s dynamic (although I am now only interested in living the D side). I am a very self-aware and reflexive person who brings a great deal to the table in terms of having a well thought out philosophy of D/s, as well as the ability to allow context to drive my decision making.

 

I own my own home on a few acres in rural SW Virginia. I am looking to find a boy who is ready for a lifetime partnership or wants to serve on the occaisional weekend (must be within 150 miles for that to work) and would enjoy such activities as gardening, fishing, mushroom hunting, landscaping, and other perks of country living. Service orientation is a must. I have zero interest in men that only want to experience submission in the bedroom. I am willing to entertain casual relationships with submissive men that live nearby, but only if they include submission beyond the bedroom as a genuine interest.


I have a wide range of interests in terms of kink. We can discuss this in a first chat.

 

Politics matter to me. If you are a conservative then you are not a good fit for me. An ideal fit for me is likely a hippy type, or an intellectual that has hard left leanings. If you support Trump, fuck off. If you are a libertarian, fuck off. Frankly, we are going to read Marx around here so buckle up.†

 

Boys with little experience may apply, if you are within 100 miles. I am willing to be a teacher for such boys, in exchange for nonsexual service. However, I cannot stress this enough, if all you really care about is submission when it satisfies your dick, youíre a bad fit for me. Consider paying a pro instead of wasting the time of lifestyle dominants.

 

I have a great deal to offer the right boy. However, after years of wading through the shit pile of men on this site, do not expect me to be anything but dubious about your claims to be the best boy ever. I am persuaded by action, not words. I will chat with you long enough to assess for fit for a meet, and then we can get to know each other in person. I do not do online play with prospects, so donít think my job is to provide you with jerk off material for three months while you make promises about how you are really going to meet me one day.

 

I am a very loving and supportive nurturing style dominant for boys that demonstrate that they are worthy of my emotional investment, in person.

 

I am not interested in full time sissies. If "forced femme" is your primary access point to submission, we are not a good fit.††


I have a wide range of kinky interests that we can talk about in an initial interview, including but not limited to: pain play of various sorts, chastity with lots of tease and denial, anal play, humiliation and degradation, and a great deal of psychologically rich role play. I do not need a boy to hit every button. It is likely you can be conditioned to most of them over time anyway.†


Do not apply if you are married or cheating on a significant other. †


Do not apply if you are inexperienced AND live more than 100 miles away. One of these is not a deal breaker but having both IS a deal breaker at this time.†

 

Do not apply if you are a switch.

 

Do not apply if you think a woman that speaks her mind clearly and directly is a bitch.

 

Do not apply if you have a history of on again, off again submissive tendencies.†

 

Do not apply if you are over 55.

 

10/23/2016 9:54:37 AM: The first paragraph of my profile is an asshole filter. You need one on this site if you are a Domme seeking her Good Boy, that's for sure. It is intentionally designed so that assholes will reveal themselves or move along before wasting my time chatting with them to assess further for fit. When it is pointed to a so-called submissive has failed to follow instructions for approach, I am often met with hostility. This shows me that this person is fundamentally unable to: 1. follow instructions, 2. face their failings and prepare to fix them, 3. be teachable and trainable through a process that first requires acknowledgement that they have dropped the ball. If you are not teachable, you are a shitty 'sub.' Period. If your fragile ego is so important to you that confronted with obvious evidence that you have failed to attain a reasonable and clearly stated expectation, your response is overt hostility and blame shifting like a two year old, you are UNFIT for submission. Period. It does not make me a bitch to point this fact of life out to you. Defending yourself from the realization that you simply did not meet a perfectly reasonable bar to demonstrate that you take your search seriously enough to fucking read a profile before sending your clearly generic cut and paste all about you introduction that you send to every female on this site, just makes you look MORE unfit for submission than you already demonstrated by not following my clearly stated preference in the first place. I am doing you a service by pointing out to you qualities in yourself that make you unfit for submission, that is, if you actually seek a submissive journey and not just seek to trick a dominant into being the pro that you don't pay to check off your sexual bucket list for you like a chump. 

10/19/2016 8:34:21 AM: Entitled asshole masquerading as a submissive who did not bother to read THE FIRST TWO LINES of my profile prior to approach: Robert here love the profile would relocate for the right woman!  Any chance of talking? Me: No. Entitled asshole:  Good go fuck yourself  besides you are fat!!!!! Me: LOL

6/23/2015 10:16:03 PM: Dear Lost Boys,                Some of you know that you are lost. For those of you that don’t, maybe the desire for the collar is not strong enough in you to recognize that you are lost without it. If you are not even a little lost, then this letter is not for you, although you may still enjoy the read.                 Some of you seek a Guide: A powerful woman sure enough in herself to trust her instincts and lead with confidence, wisdom, empathy and love. Some of you seek a Goddess: A woman to surrender so completely to that you become an instrument of Her will. Some of you seek a Mistress: A ravenous serpent of desire who calculates each new delight with sinister intention. Some of you seek an Owner, a Mommy, a Disciplinarian, or a Teacher.  Some of you lost boys are seeking a Domme: A woman who can be all of those things.                    Some of you are lost because you have so little experience that you do not know how to recognize a real Domme when you see her.  Some of you are lost because you have a fundamental misunderstanding about the difference between a Domme and the porn induced caricature that you jerk off to in your head. Some of you are lost because Dommes will hold you accountable to your commitments, and you fundamentally resent being called out on your shit so you bail when you realize she is “one of those.” Some of you are lost because you cannot resolve the shame that you feel for your submissive desires, likely because you have allowed Victorian sexual morality to have legitimacy in your world view. Some of you are lost because you have a love hate relationship with the idea of submission and so you flake on every Domme you are lucky enough to encounter. Some of you are lost because you are unable to recognize that the best way to stop being lost is to find a guide or get a map and instead you listen to your ego which tells you that you already have all the answers despite the fact you have been walking in circles for years.                 In all of the above cases, those of you that are still reading will note, you are likely lost because you need to grow and learn. You are trying to capture the attention of a woman you are profoundly unequipped to satisfy. If you are lucky enough to capture a Domme’s interest, particularly if she is willing to offer you an opportunity to learn some skills that you are going to need to be a collared boy to a Domme someday, you should take advantage of that gift that she has offered you to experience submission. If you are offered that opportunity, and you squander it, then you have only yourself to blame for being lost.                I wish you the best, lost boys. My advice to you is to grab your balls and take advantage of any opportunity to learn from an experienced lifestyle dominant or kinky community in your area. Otherwise you might be walking around in circles for many years to come.

3/8/2015 8:49:05 AM: Here is a lovely letter I received this morning:   wow, i read your long book on male slaves etc. and i can tell you you are absolutely right. i've been on this site for 15 years. I'm happily married and so called 'dommes' on this site replete with porn pictures i've basically used to satisfy a fetish and have manipulated ladies for years without paying a damn cent.   I can tell you emphatically and i have had the 'slave' mindset since as early as 6 that i can recall, its purely sexual lust. All you so called 'lifestyle dommes' are in search for something that doesnt exist. Least of all here.    I have no issues using the dommes(prostitutes) on here to meet a fetish i have for some reason and living a normal life with a woman i adore and respect and is respectful or worthy of respect. Most dommes will take every penny they can get on here if they could manipulate the situation. So i love getting a fetish satisfied and manipulating the situation and in the end feeding a misogynistic feeling for so called women that would truly take every dime a weak guy has.   So i get a double level of satisfaction! Mick was wrong. You can get satisfaction! The line 'And I'm tryin' to make some girl Who tells me baby better come back later next week' is WRONG. They are all too eager NOW!   And they get ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! So its all good. I've had dynamics go on for months. In the end i get my needs met they get nothing. Same thing over and over. Society would say i'm doing a public service in jading so many women like you who have become jaded and stopped looking. But as one batch gets jaded a fresh batch pops up. Its perfect!   But then again, when it comes to lifestyle domination i'm sure 'i and most folks at large just don't understand', right????? rightttt. wink wink. For the record i enjoyed reading your journal.    Again in EVERY case whether slave or sub BAR NONE, its all about sexual lust PERIOD! I promise. You can go in to what makes a perfect sub and do case studies on the topic that would get an A+ at Harvard. But BAR NONE ABSOLUTELY NONE it comes down to one word LUST!    Reality can NEVER compete with the fantasy.    Sad to say, the only respect most men on this site in fact all men would have for you is the fact you name yourself  Shilo, a great Neil Diamond tune. But his Shilo is NOT you. ­­   Here is my response:   I appreciate your ability to see your truth and at the same time see yourself as a decent human being. Such moral flexibility is generally reserved for sociopaths. Your wife is so lucky! The reason I know you are wrong about the absence of real good boys is because I am involved in the real world kink community and i know many many actual submissive /Domme couples...several of which are long term. I agree with you that its rare...and the largest part of why its rare is the misogynist mindset that teaches men to feel entitled and justified in having whatever sexual fantasies they want and to simultaneously position women with the same fantasies as immoral whores. You are a disgusting human being. You justify to yourself all you want that some people are deserving of your lies and manipulation...but you and I both know you’re a scum bag. Your letter comes at a fantastic time too. It reminds me that even though there are people that have allowed themselves to become morally hollow....there are others like me that keep up the hard work of trying to be a decent human being. It’s a reminder to me as well....since you have made a choice to treat all the dommes on this site with the contempt you should reserve for the liars and fakes....that I need to remember that there are good boys out there that deserve love and respect even if many or most are morally bankrupt pieces of shit. Finally, it’s a reminder of what hell awaits if I give up on trying to find good people in the world.... how lost like you I would become if I allow the pain of the shitheads in the world consume me.  Thanks for that! Cheers.

1/17/2015 11:25:13 AM: Why are there so many ProDommes on this site?   Well let me give you my take. I am not a ProDomme, rather I am a lifestyle dominant who has been engaged in a search for my Good Boy off and on for over 7 years. I have a good idea why there are so many ProDommes on this site, and you might not like to hear it…..so strap yourself in and prepare for some uncomfortable truth.   Most of the submissive men on this site are worthless for a D/s relationship for a variety of reasons. Here are some that I have come across:   They are married and they lie about it. They lie to themselves that they are not douchebags. Ironically, they expect to be treated with respect even though they have no honor as human beings. Live honestly or live like a rat. You deserve to reap all the misery you sow in the world. They have so much shame for their kinky desires that they actually have no ability to integrate them into a healthy life so they seek to compartmentalize their kink and find a woman willing to fit in that tiny box and be satisfied with that. Basically….these men are looking for a ProDomme, they just feel entitled to have one that doesn’t charge and resent that a woman might want something in return for checking off their bucket list. Ironically, such men think it is the ProDommes that are unethical, even though at least a ProDomme is honest about what she is willing to exchange, while these men are in complete denial that they want to take, but not give. They are not able to be emotionally honest, and have no desire to grow as people. In short, most of the men that I have met on this site don’t really want to be pushed to grow, or even put themselves out in any way when push comes to shove. They blow off deadlines after months of being invested in. They say they really want to meet but three months later are no closer to being ready….because in the end….most of them are just manipulating the women they find on this site into giving them free jerk off material with no real intention to inconvenience their lives with a real relationship. Such men are not fit for relationships and they really have little to offer women other than disappointment and heartache. These men would actually do us all a favor if they just paid a Pro. They have no real world experience and refuse to make any personal investment in themselves to get it and instead feel entitled to find a woman that is going to hold their hand and help them find themselves out of the kindness of their heart. When told that men with no experience are an empirically bad investment of energy, such men often react with reiterations of sincerity, completely ignoring the point that they are a bad investment for experienced Dommes. This is akin to someone walking up to a pro football coach and saying “Gee, coach, I know I never played football a day in my life but I have jerked off to it a lot and I promise and swear on everything that is holy that I am totally sincere and really that should be enough for you to sign me up as the quarterback for the Giants.” And doing that with a straight face and the reacting with a sense of hostility and indignity when the coach looks back at them and says “Really, intention and desire is not the same as being prepared or qualified for this position on the team.” When told to go to a munch or join the local kinky group, such men can’t be bothered for 101 reasons, but have the balls to have a sense of entitlement to expect a Domme to put aside her precious time to take a (vastly unlikely) chance that this guy has anything to offer once he realizes that real life kink isn’t like the porn he has been jerking off to for the last 15 years. “Gee coach, why can't you take about 10 hours a week and volunteer to train me out of the kindness of your heart because I promise you I am the next Bret Favre.” Give me a fucking break. Only men with serious entitlement issues think this sounds reasonable on any kind of level. Etc.   Of course, YOU are the exception right? I am gonna say it straight….unless you are able to have a sense for how all of the above scenarios are real, the norm, and doing damage to the experience on this site, and also creating the context for the ever present FinDomme, then you are probably not self-aware enough to be the vast minority of men on this site that constitute the exception.   If you want to complain about the ProDommes on this site, then first you have to ask yourself if you are part of the reason why they are here to begin with.   If you want to be part of the solution then here is some advice:   If you are married or cheating on your significant other then put that on your profile straight up so that people willing to deal with liars can find you and save the rest of us from the misery you spawn. If you are ashamed about your sexuality and want to put it in a box and are only looking for a woman to share that little box with you and have no intentions for sharing any other part of your life with her, then put that on your profile so that Dommes looking for cannon fodder can find you. Inexperienced Dommes in particular need to practice….and that is something you can offer in exchange for her checking off your bucket list for you. Every new Domme looking to one day have the skills to lead a boy worth building a life with needs to cut her teeth on something. If you are willing to be her guinea pig, then you have something genuine to offer those Dommes. But be straight about that….don’t pretend you’re looking for a relationship when what you’re looking for is a Pro you don’t have to pay. Consider what you can offer in exchange for the time and energy an experienced Domme invests in you. This can be service (such as cleaning her toilets or mowing her lawn) or money for those of you that have more of that than time or willingness to do service. If you have nothing to offer in exchange for the time and energy she invests in your training, then at least have the decency to realize that this is YOUR inadequacy, not the Dommes’ that won’t have anything to do with you.  Expecting a Domme who has invested in her own craft, skill and expertise to design a training program for you so that you can learn and grow in areas she has already mastered, and expecting her to do it for nothing in return, is the same as expecting to go to a psychologist and then trying to convince her that she is really getting something out of you sitting in that chair bitching about your life for an hour a week and she should feel bad about charging you for the sessions. Get a grip on reality please. If you are serious about exploring D/s outside of sex scenes, then for crying out loud take it upon yourself to invest in your own skills, knowledge and expertise and find a local munch group or other lifestyle group and show up with the intent of learning and self-improvement and quit bitching about how you don’t have the time, or you are worried about being outed, or any of the other pussy excuses you have for why it should be incumbent on a Domme to put herself out to teach you instead of you taking advantage of the resources that are there for you already. Take the first steps of your new journey all on your own so people can know you are not a time waster and self-entitled little boy.   I know there are good boys out there. I have met many of you. It is not like every boy I have met fits the above. However, after having talked with literally hundreds of you on this site, my sample of empirical evidence that says (conservatively) that 90% of you fit into one of the above categories, is a pretty strong body of data. If you don’t wanna look at it, then fine that is your choice. But frankly, stop blaming the ProDommes on this site for all your problems and realize that the odds are very good that the problem is YOU.   Finally, to the ProDommes out there that are really just lying grifters fleecing new submissive men on this site, you sincerely suck and fuck you. I have no ethical issue with legitimate ProDommes that offer real service for money. I think many of you are providing a valuable and worthwhile service.  But I do take issue with those so called professionals that lie, steal, and cheat your filthy hands into the pockets of these men on false pretenses and with no intention of providing the services you promise. You have chosen a path of deceit that is no better than the scumbag men that no doubt litter your life leading up to this choice you have made to live this way. All you do by making the choice to join the liars and cheaters is to give those that have worked to destroy you all that much more power to destroy you. It is not a win. You are making the world a more sucky place to live in. Knock it off.

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