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AdorablyBroken
Pan Female Slave, 37, JerseyCity, New Jersey US 
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AdorablyBroken

About me
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I dont accept friend requests with people who arent friends. If you wanna chat and get to know each other drop me a line, maybe in time we can become friends. Liking my pics or finding me attractive doesnt make us friends or constitute a reason to send a friend request without ever having spoken to me.
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My life kinda went sideways recently and I am still trying to make sense of what is what, so I updated and removed a bunch of stuff that is no longer applicable and will try to update as things continue to change in my life.
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Putting myself into a box is a rather daunting task, but lets see if I am up for the challenge. I am a bit of a contradiction, always on opposites of everything, rather at odds with myself and the level head I am supposed to have as a Libra. Some examples of these contradictions are that I am an artist, I love photo manipulation and mixed media art yet I am also a scientist, in school to get a degree in a medical field. I talk too much in public and not enough when its a serious situation. I often come off as being ditzy but have moments where I see things others miss. A few other key things about me are my love for books, I am always reading and usually multiple books at a time (I am currently trying to broaden my horizons past the sci-fifantasy genres I love so well, especially into non-fiction books in the philosophy and history realms, so recommendations are appreciated). I am a huge geek and gamer, I have played in many a DD campaign and love OWoD I also do a lot of online text based gaming and play the occasional MMORPG. On a very personal note I suffer from PTSD as a result of childhood trauma and thusly have trust issues, this can make me come across as confrontational at times, and for that I am sorry and please know I am working on it.
What I am

-Pagan
-Poly
-Panromantic
-Demi-sexual
-Cheeky
-Sweet
-Easily intimidated
-Contradictory
-Smarter than your average bear
-A geek
- Agamer
-A kitten
-A little
-A masochist
-A slave
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Ideally I would like to spend my life
- 80 as a slave (Currently working out rules and training that works with my health issues)
- 10 as a little (Continuing to explore)
-10 as a kitten (Stalled out)
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What I want to learn
-How to be a more obedient slave
-How to do high protocol
-How to take the level of pain I fantasize about
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What I am looking for or open to finding
-Friends
-Local gamers
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More info (Updating as time permits)

I have always known I was a masochist. Even as a child I took a particular glee in activities such as tying up my fingers until they turned purple and undoing the binding all at once just to feel the blood rush back in, I sat on my hands until they fell asleep enjoying the pins and needles feeling, poking at bruises or cuts was done much to the annoyance of my mother, and I even took a perverse enjoyment out of the spankings I was given. At the time none of this was sexual and for the most part it still isnt.

Its not that I have a high pain tolerance, probably anything but. Yet, I get a distinct rush, a high, from pain. Its not always my body translating the pain to pleasure (though with a good warm up that does happen). Its more about the ability to tolerate the pain, to come through it on the other end and feel my nerves singing. To know for certain I am alive.
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As a side note, please do me the courtesy of referring me to as Dora (Heinlein reference, not the explorer), Caoilainn (my IRL name) or acushla (my preference) pet names will from this point on get you laughed at and then promptly blocked. Also, let me know you read this by telling me your favorite season or type of weather.

Please dont compliment me, tell me how much you like a picture, etc. I have many more interesting things that can be discussed on my profile. If you really want to comment about my appearance you can love on a pic or something.
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I first got into BDSM at the age of 19, only a month after my birthday in fact. I dont remember ever being unaware of the lifestyle, in fact I had (and still have) the belief that everyone is dominant or submissive in a relationship. Although this belief was initially aimed towards vanilla relationships and was more along the lines of this person is the decision maker than about true power transference.

My initiation into the lifestyle came at the hands of a friend of a friend whom I took an interest in one night after long discussion. Up until that point I had always been the decision maker and the aggressor in sex, so when the guy asked to take me home and tie me up I was a bit thrown. After some internal debate I agreed figuring the worst that could happen was bad sex (I already knew this person so figured it was safe to play). The sex turned out to be anything but bad and my first experience with bondage flipped a switch inside me.

My relationship with my first play partner was more educational than play oriented. Our libidos were ill matched so the sex was infrequent at best. However I learned more about me than I knew was possible. For the first time in my life I knew what it was to feel safe, bound and helpless equaled comfort for me to the point that I took to binding myself with bondage tape before sleeping.

That relationship ended but my search for self in BDSM did not. Since that time I have been a collared sub, a 247 slave, a play partner, an online Mistress, and most recently an IRL Mistress, but none of those titles fit me as well as slave and since I am now in a 24/7 collar I wear that title with more pride than ever.

11/26/2022 7:34:45 PM: I don't date Christians, they get all weirded out by my religion I am Socialist/Communist, I am as Liberal as it gets and I dislike Conservative politics with a passion!!! I am introverted but I still go to protests and take part in activism. I do a lot of things to make the world a better place and there is no excuse for anyone to not try when they live on this planet. Unless you live in a country other than the US LGBTQ+ is VERY much legal and I am part of LGBTQ+ Reading is great, must read at least 12 books (for pleasure) a year I don't do exercising, sports, etc the things I enjoy are various forms of gaming. I am a geek and a nerd and only date people who are as well I have 4 cats, I think of them as my children (and they are the only kind of kids I am planning on having), anyone who doesn't love cats isn't welcome in my life Edited to add - With the repel of Roe I am requiring men to have a vasectomy or be okay with having sex with condoms for the foreseeable future

1/27/2022 8:24:04 AM: I don't engage in casual play! I may play with someone if I know them well and trust them, but of course my Master (Yes I am collared and you can see me wearing my collar in my main profile pic)has the right to final say in such things. I have no interest in play with submissive men for any reason.

1/8/2022 3:25:04 PM: I was born with a genetic disability called Hypermobile EhlersDanlos Syndrome, which means all of the collagen in my body is faulty In 2018 I also developed another illness that we believe to be Myalgic encephalomyelitis but I havent as of yet been diagnosed with that I didnt get my HEDS diagnosis until a year ago and I had that my whole life I also have comorbidities of Gastroparesis, a paralyzed stomachMast Cell Activation Disorder, which is my body having random allergic reactionsand Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia which is where my blood pools in my feet when I stand up causing low blood pressure and super fast heartbeat, this leads to dizzy spells and fainting

1/5/2022 10:14:52 PM: I am non-binary and gender fluid, I was assigned female at birth but don't subscribe to gender roles. I wish this site had more options that cis or MtF/FtM

12/22/2021 6:57:17 PM: Why is it that everyone who messages me only thinks about the sexual aspects of BDSM? I am a slave, not a bottom or bedroom only submissive, sex isn't what my submission is about

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