10/11/2007 1:59:37 PM: Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt 'If you do not mind me saying,' said the second, 'that cork looks very uncomfortable. why do you not take it out?' 'I regret I cannot', lamented the first terrorist. 'It is permanently stuck in my butt.' 'I do not understand,' said t he other. The first terrorist says, 'I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, 'I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.' I said, 'No shit?' God Bl ess America

9/25/2007 1:43:25 PM: Bubba and Jimmy Joe One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. 'Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?' 'Bobby Sue gave it to me' Bubba replied 'She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?' 'Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6 , in the middle of nowhere.  Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want.' So I took the truck!' 'Bubba, you're a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you!'

9/13/2007 1:42:50 PM:   The 11th Husband A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to 'Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin'.   'What?' said the puzzled groom. 'How can that be if you've been married ten times.?'   'Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.   'Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.   'Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.   'Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.   'Husband # 5 was an Engineer,he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.   'Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.   'Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.   'Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.   'Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.   'Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him.   ' But now that I've married you, I'm so excited'.   'Wonderful', said the husband, 'but why?   'Your're with the 'GOVERNMENT'.. This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED.'