2/23/2018 1:16:37 PM: Misogynydefined: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. I have dark impulses that involve a desire to dominate, and inflict pain upon my sexual partners and since I am straight that means the target of these impulses are women. But these impulses and cravings are strictly a bedroom phenomenon and does not carry over into everyday, or professional life. One of the reasons I have to pass on so many profiles is that the women that truly are hardcore masochist are also wanting a total immersion of it. Frankly it is not in my personality to be sadistic as a default state for me. This is a painful reality for me to accept that I have a dual sided nature. But, the question comes to mind. Am I a misogynist? Is the dark impulse to sexually dominate, inflict pain and suffering some form of dislike, contempt, or prejudice against women. I ask my wife and she does not seem to think I am because of our loving and 14 year long relationship. I asked our roommate and she also said I did not feel like a Misogynist to her. Despite these assurances the question still lingers why do I want to nail tits to a board, why do I want to degrade the of my lust. How can I have respect and love for my sexual partners and still want to abuse and sexually control them? I know humans are contradictory and irrational beings that much of our mating rituals, behavior, and emotions is instinctual. It comes from the part of the brain that is never logical nor makes any sense. But still my rational mind is perplexed by this seemingly paradox of my nature. And is there a sexual partner out there for me that wants only bedroom extreme sadism and can accept my more genial personality in everyday settings and situations?

2/20/2018 2:09:47 AM: We recently have had some bad some let downs on a couple of potential prospects on Collarspace. Some of which inspired some of my writing of late on Respect, Courtesy, and the use of proper etiquette that seems to have fallen out of use today especially in message ettiqutte. A submissive friend of mine called nightsweets who is supportive to the max and really boosted my self image told me in plain and simple terms that issues I am having is not me. She said me and my wife are great people and that we are have earned her respect with our actions and deeds with how we help out friends and even strangers when they are in need. She told me that the people who reject me, do not read my messages, who do not respond are doing so because they can not handle real people with real needs. That it was a problem with them and not us. This put a much needed perspective to our search for the right partners in our need for a real life pain and abuse slut. 

2/19/2018 12:33:07 PM: I often find the two traits of anonymity and courtesy do not go hand in hand. Too often the anonymity of the internet lower the inhibitions on our behavior and courtesy falls by the wayside as a result. Many of the actions and words I am assured everyone has observed would never take place in face to face meetings. A certain civility and courtesy is necessary in real life because you never know who would take offense and take measures to physically display their dissatisfaction that may end in physical injury or death. I suspect all these recent mass shooting are in some small part because of how people are being treated to the point that they boil over and strike out blindly because they can not strike directly at the anonymous sources that they can not confront directly.

2/19/2018 12:32:33 PM: Ok I have done a lot of journal posts in the last couple of days on Respect and Courtesy. Now I want to focus on the concept of courtesy and how it relates to messaging. The first and most important rule in messaging is that you are dealing with real people with real feelings. You should extend all the rules of manners and courtesy that you would extend to someone you met on the street for the first time. I know using the formal has fallen out of favor even in real life but your first message should be like a handshake and a greeting. Remember the person you are dealing with is a stranger who does not know you from Adam. The first impressions are always important even when looking for a play partner for kinky sex or to fulfill your deepest darkest sadistic desires. Coming after someone spouting off your desires and how they will fulfill them will hardly ever work because it displays a deep seated selfishness with little consideration for others. In essence you are basically telling them they do not matter and are not worthy of basic consideration and manners. Even women that profess a deep need for humiliation and masochism wants to know that their needs will be a consideration and you will have the courtesy of learning those needs and desires as much as having them learn your needs and desires. Second rule of courtesy and messaging is responding to communication. When someone takes the time and effort to message you, it is common courtesy to respond in kind. Even if the response is to tell them you are not interested in communicating with them. When you respond you should be clear and concise with what you want, if you are interested respond in a matter that makes your intentions clear and unmistakable. A lot of angst and anger that comes off is because one party felt the conversation is going good and the other party feels it is going nowhere. If you feel the conversation is a dead end then explain your reasons why and then inform them you are ending communications and you are not going to reply to further communications. Again the rules of consideration and courtesy apply, if you would not want that happening to you then you should not do it to others. On the other end of the spectrum when a party declares they do not want further communication and has taken the time to tell you why do them the courtesy of accepting their decision, trying to talk them out of it only reinforces their perception that you are selfish and immature. Chemistry is a fickle and difficult thing and more times then not thing will not work out especially when all they have to judge you by is a few words and pictures on a profile, a couple of messages and no pheromones and physical ques that would inspire attraction in a face to face meeting. Last rule of messaging and courtesy this is a specially important one for us males. Women rarely send pictures of themselves without asking unless they are already in a committed relationship. Do women the same courtesy and ask if they want to see a picture of you before sending them one especially of your sexual genitalia. Well that is enough of my rant and observation.

2/19/2018 9:08:05 AM: Respect. I hear it bandied about a lot. I also know it has 2 meanings when defined in the dictionary. One definition is to have great esteem for another. The second definition is to show courtesy to another. In my humble opinion the second definition is redundant, and causes obfuscation of the intent of the word respect. The two different meaning of the word respect have 2 different implication in interpersonal relationships. The first definition means that respect is not a given as great esteem is not magical granter to every person you meet and in actuality has to be earned, through both impressive words and deeds. The second definition of the word respect means that it should be extended to everyone as the convention of our society courteousness should be extended to everyone until they are proven that they do not deserve to be treated with common decency. These two conflicting applications of the same word does little but sow confusion into conversations that get bandied about. That is why in my mind the word respect will always represent the first definition, something that has to be inspired and earned and I discard the second definition entirely and instead use the word courtesy. When I deal with people I treat them with courtesy, when I come to trust, value and depend upon some one then they have earned my respect.