Loving connection and sweaty kink are awesome together. Guarded jaded and broken need repair provided by unconditional love. Letting go in subspace is a corollary for letting go of martyrdom and self imposed miseries. Leave the baggage at the door, let go of your past and embrace the only moment anyone ever has- the one you experience in present time.  Be who you want to be. If you want you can go back to who you were. You can also stay free and enjoy living in love and in hot depraved wet kinky delight. 
Slutty girls are magical. Don't turn off your heart and just be an object. Be a smoldering love nymph intoxicated by connection with others who all want to please and be pleased-- mutual affection for those we are attracted to. Sleep around. See other people. Come home to the kingdom wet and worn and happy as hell after your trips into the world and snuggle down with friends and lovers. Even as king, my greatest thrill is seeing someone I love getting off while I look into her eyes- even or perhaps especially if it's with others wrapped up together in the hot tub or bedroom. Let go. Love hard.  Turn off your head like a good sub and revel in the bliss of surrender but along the way put yourself into the kisses and caressing and you can become a princess of Mars or if you prefer you can be a harem doll, dirty, sweaty hot and perfect just the way you are. Get what you want, give some of it back and be loved for it. 
Sometimes being used like sweet candy trash just feels really right but it doesn't mean you can't be loved for it. Nasty is an invitation to romantic infatuation. I want to fall in love with a an emotionally available woman who is way too turned on by partner swapping, stranger sex in swinger clubs and being shared by a man who loves her. The dirtier the hotter the better. Your fantasies aren't warped and it doesn't mean you are broken or insane. Maybe you're my girl and just don't know it yet. We haven't met. I don't know you. We can fix this.