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sakura
 Kittypaws76
Pan Female Submissive, 48, Wagga wagga, Australia 
 

Lifestyle friends 

 

 

 

Just a babygirl Who can be bit bratty Smart mouthed and sassy at times

And likes to test even know it doesn't get her far

I like to do.it to test how much control u have over me 

And for me to feel that control 

That's the brat side

 

Most of the time though Is respectful and well behaved

That's the babygirl side 

 

 

 

Likes the lifestyle

Get into a drug like state a high that drives Me to get more of it like a addiction and go after this lifestyle more I crave it to get that high 

 

But struggles with submission

 

Newly single after 9 years together with my x Daddy Dom 

 We share a property together but are only friends and housemates 

If interested u will need to be aware of this 

There is no kink or physical intimacy going on at all 

 

Hoping to re enter lifestyle Again

And be with a Dominanr who would guide me

Adore me

Collar me

Own me

In return give them the best I can be in Servitude

If they are prepared to teach me

Not sure if online would work for me though 

Be better in person real life 

So somebody who lives in or near wagga wagga in nsw Australia 

 

tattooed and pierced

 

Have tongue piercing , eyebrow piercing

 

both nipples pierced

 

have a couple of tattoos

 

love dark things like skulls , dragons , goth plushies

 

love erotic art and have a few pieces within the home

 

love bdsm litrature

 

real life biographies

 

love reading about slave auctions and slavery in books

 

Love collars and collar play

 

love bdsm movies esp the secretary, story of 0

 

Justine

 

Own a small collection of bdsm movies and books

 

Thanks kytten
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Dominant Female, 19
 Chiangmai, Thailand
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  Enjoy breath play particularly during oral as well as being an overall submissive. Not only just in the bedroom but with him in general; taking notice of his interest and hobbies. Using that to find ways to please him until he feels satisfied with the disappearance of nuance stresses that plague all of us everyday. Having a Dom relax and not worry what he does or says and takes a breather without having to refocus on his sub and their needs is what I like. I get along well with confident dominant types. Smooth/trimmed body with a large smooth bubble butt. Thick 7in circumcised with low hangers. Into 1950's D/s servitude lifestyle of doting and pamperingEnjoy being slightly bullied, pushed around, asked to do things/chores, under foot, subservient younger bro/Dom Big Scenario with a Straight Guy - Happened over time when my straight friends noticed I'm passive with them. Sometimes I open up and they roll with it. Nothing too crazy when we're out and about but they say its nice to know I'm the bitch in the room.
Well, it seems journals are working again! Please don't ask me for meaningless play, or suggest I have an interest in you showing up now and then. I'm only interested in a real and whole relationship IN PERSON. I am the real thing, like some men seem to want... a lifestyle slave who is also intelligent and capable. I'm not moving, I own a large and lovely home that I have put a ton of money into customizing. I am only interested in a LOCAL loving dominant male who will make feel safe, and allow me to give myself to him as much as I am able, and not regret it. Yes, the "L" word. I want so much to put down my sword and shield. I'm an older lady now, so what I can do physically is limited. But I can still do quite a bit of the things that work for me, and if you have fet or alt you can see faceless pics of me and my dungeon. But mostly, I want a loving strong man who can be in charge and not make me regret it. Is that You? Right now, I am healing emotionally from giving myself entirely to someone who represented he wanted to be my Master, and then decided that being Jimminy cricket was more his style. If I were younger, I would take a few years off like I used to to heal, but I don't have that luxury now. So I have to get back in the pool.
Fuck FUCK Fuckity FUCK!!!! Roommates car is stuck in a snow bank just outside our house.  Our truck is stuck at Safeway needing a new starter  AND IT IS FUCKING COLLLLDDDDDDDDDD
How hard is it to actually read a profile before messaging someone? I mean really, it's not that difficult to do, either that or people just don't care. Seeing the messages I get it seems both. You want fuckmeat, move on I'm not it. I'm also sure as hell am not sharing my picture with anyone until I feel comfortable with you. I will also say again that this is the fastest way for me to ignore your messages and/or block you:  1. Clearly not reading my profile, I'll know if you are not from or around the location I stated, being right out disrespectful and thinking I'll actually want your "guidance" or be your "toy" when you couldn't take the time to look at my interest list or my limits which are all up to date.  2. Sending me pictures without asking me, this includes any kind of picture. If I want to see what you look like I will ask. Same with sending me a phone number or any other type of social media ID, if I want it I'll ask. 3. If you can't open a conversation with more than "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi." Then I'm not interested, I like substance and if you can send a good opening message then I'll be more likely to wanna talk to you don't bother with anything half assed it just won't work.  4. You're profile and/or interest list is blank. I could understand if your proifle is brand new but if you've been on this site for more than a month I think you've had plenty of time to write and add in your interests. That helps me guage what kind of person you are. 
Comic book heroes are the gods and goddesses of our times: mythical beings with powers we wish we had. Although there seems to be a constant stream of characters with new abilities, I haven't seen a Totally Perfect Person yet. Maybe some qualities are actually beyond believable! Or maybe a graphic designer has created one, but the end result is too boring to develop into a persona who makes it onto our screens. After all, people who never make mistakes are a bit... well... boring.
This bleeding love Ain't taking our hearts Inner fire ignites us I paid so much I'd say it's my sport Ha ha ha wake up   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace I'm calling   Emotion violence taking my life In the fire we'll make up I saw the goddess Bury my light No no no wake up   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight it   Your my prayers stay sweet Visions spells said she said we will Limerence says your mine Hold on hold on Hold on to me   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight
Just realized the last person to log in from Argentina was in 2023.  LOLOkay.  Well enjoy this mausoleum, ya'll.  Maybe you'll find that one baby trans girl with 0 self-esteem who will roleplay as your braindead punching bag before they, you know.. realize kink dynamics are based on discussion, consent, shared experiences and--you know--not being an entitled dick.  Like any other healthy, sustainable human relationship.  Good luck 
I think 24/7 is asking a lot of someone. I personally, would get bored doing the same thing all the time. Maybe 1 or 2/7? lol. But if I met the right Lady, a relationship would be conceivable. Just realize, that I need my free space and time. I guess this is the type of thing you discuss as you go on together.
It's been a while since I posted so why not. Settled into things a lil, but still adjusting to the new and work hours. Not sure if this is going to be were we land but I'll have a better idea after winter. Have yet to meet anyone outside of work, but working on it. I'm not really use to almost everything closing by 8pm except bars...lol Am looking forward to our first holidays here. Switch the Halloween tree to the Xmas tree this weekend, excited about our new ornaments this year.
Gave a guy his first pegging yesterday. He had never had more than a finger in asshole before, so I was officially busting his anal cherry. LOL Poor guy could only handle the tip of my 7inch strap even after having him wear a couple plugs first. I was a bit dissappointed that I couldn't go balls deep in his ass, but maybe we will get to do that again.  He was an enthusiastic and eager boy toy nonetheless.
Property.  Noun. 1. A thing or things belonging to someone; possessions collectively.  2. An attribute, quality, or characteristic of something.  I, am property. I don't always behave that way, but I should, because that is what I am. Master is a saint for how much patience he's had with me. Property doesn't have a say or an opinion. No voice, nothing. Change is not easy for me. To my brain it signals that there's a threat, danger, or that my world is going to be upended. I don't really know what to do with change, and abrupt change? Forget it. My brain either goes into full meltdown or fight mode. There is no in between. To be calm during changes means a meltdown later. Because I'm only calm outwardly. Inwardly I'm screaming for something to be the same, anything. Even a small thing. Master is that one thing. When my brain is screaming, he's there, steadfast and strong, unyielding and sure. I am his property. I don't get a say anymore. But I do get protection, care, and a Master who has always been there since day one. I'm property. A thing. His thing. Whenever, wherever, however he wants. His.  I am not looking for a response to this. I'm posting so that I can come back and read it when I need to. 
this is a follow up to the 4/3/2018  post People have said I am negative, yet I come here and I see all the negative profiles and wonder to myself, how on earth will these people find happiness, with this kind of attitude? I have gotten the oh I will be your slave if you pay my way to you... after a 5 minute conversation. I have heard about so many Dom's passing away, I feel like the term Dominant is cursed! I want to find someone who has a sense of humour, who doesn't mind taking their time getting to know each other and seeing what can happen. What would you rather have a store bought frozen and thaw cake, although good, it would never match a cake that was made just for you, because the one made for you has one special ingredient has that the other doesn't, and I do not mean mono sodium glutamate. I mean love Cheers And always remember to watch out for motorcycles when you are on the road
What being a prey means for me Finding someone who will grow with me and pursue me always. Someone who enjoys the chase. Someone who will look for ways to outsmart me and capture me. Someone who will put in the effort to get me. Someone who craves me! Play wrestling, biting randomly and many other aspaspects appeal to me in many ways even though it's much newer than the other parts of me it is still there.
If these words resonate, reach out.   I’m seeking a kindred spirit—relaxed, creative, and adventurous—someone drawn to trust, curiosity, and the possibility of a long-term D/s dynamic that grows from genuine connection.   I’m contemplative and sometimes quiet, always seeking balance in mind, body, and spirit. I find joy in laughter, art, books, good food, and music. Creativity moves through my days, whether I’m solving a problem, writing something small, or savoring stillness.   Nature centers me. I live on four acres in southern Arizona, nurturing a young permaculture forest through rainwater harvesting. I hope to meet someone who loves the land, appreciates regenerative living, and feels at ease in a semi-rural rhythm. I wander deserts and mountains, enjoy festivals and flea markets, and cherish quiet nights by the fire or beneath the stars.   I believe physical sensation can open deeper truths—where curiosity meets intention and transformation begins. In partnership, I care for emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being as one woven whole.   In D/s, submission is trust and intentional surrender and control is earned not taken. I’m drawn to someone self-aware, resilient, and grounded—someone who can lean into guidance while keeping a strong sense of self. Honest dialogue and mutual growth matter to me.   I envision a disciplined relationship where structure supports your evolution, where I take daily direction seriously and help you rise to your best self. This dynamic thrives with someone who craves clarity, consistency, and meaningful standards.

Many times I get the question about what happens when two tops meet. The concept of two dominant males sharing some sort of intimacy seems contradictory, after all no one conceives a dom without a sub. That is not always the case and I will, like in all my journals speak from experience.  There is a degree of power exchange between Doms and I do not talk about silly posturing and drama. If two dominant males find themselves alone and aware of each other,s preference coue of things will happen. Like I said there are degrees of asserting domination and sometimes one will yield and becomes submissive to the more dominant male.  There are reasons for this behavior, one is the overwhelming realization that amongst equals there is alway a better masks and truly no shame comes from realizing and internalizing that fact. I'm not implying the the more submissive is and will be a sub the rest of their life, no. What I am saying is that recognizing g who is the better man is what defines the boundaries of intimacy.  I have friends that have their fair share of submissives but once in a while they will come to me to serve and be bred. after, back to being a top. But why this behavior? Like I said overwhelmed by.  Dryer male they yearn to serve and be intimate. If a dime submits must be to someone better than them and someone they appreciate both as male and Bull. The other scenario I've experience is that broth being powerful males and bulls there is no submitting.  How then is that encounter? What I have experienced is the act of respectful admiration of each other bodies and rods. Eventually, it will get to self exploration and release by mastication. There is no phisicl contact but the admiration that can only a true bull can bestow on another bull.  It is very intense to have two powerful males together, alone, and horny. Their mutual pheromones make the atmosphere thick and  eventually there’s only one way out, taking matters in our own hands. there is no mystery, two males will do what comes naturally and either occupy their place or remain on top gloriously alone. That's the natural order of things. 
November 4, 2024 @ 4:35pm  Hello Everyone,  I understand this profile is a little confusing to some, let me clear things up for you all.I will always be an Domme first, then second I am an Alpha submissive only to Sir Silverback G which is my life partner. I hope this Clears up any confusion. Have a wonderful Morning, Evening, Night.  SG 
6:00 me: Should I take a nap? It's kinda late. Maybe I should just power through... ... 6:03 me: Okay, a quick nap. The puppy will wake me up. ... ... And she did. At 9:00. So that is why I baked a cake and cleaned the kitchen at midnight.  She woke me barking like mad at the noise outside. She is the nosiest of neighbors. I even bought her an ottoman and set it near the window, though in truth it's also for my benefit so she'll stop ruining the pillows on the chair she has claimed as her lookout spot. Does she use the ottoman? Of course not. It's now after 1. I'm awake. I need to be up in five hours, bribe her to eat, pack, not forget the stuff in the fridge, and get on the road. Chances of me being on time? Place your bets. 
We are all misfits. They use words like “woke”, inclusive and accepting but we know those are just pretend words. Our thoughts, actions and attitudes are not accepted. We are forced to live in a world pretending to be like the others, living a lie, lost in a solitude we can't escape. Looking, hoping to find others that will accept that we able to acknowledge our dark side and are not afraid of it. Those of us here that are true to the lifestyle want live the lifestyle openly. We don't mean harm to them or ourselves. We only want to live a lifestyle that we think is best for us. Here we have each other to confide in. Here we can share our thoughts and ideas how we would like to live our lives. ati  
In vanilla terms I seek a single guy, lifestyle submissive, with FiVE years experience in a FLR whilst going out to pubs (munches) and clubs (FemDom fetish clubs) to go out with me in his car that he drives, three times a month, sometimes a little more. Long-term to first go for dinner, drinks and socialise.  When the rapor is there I will give S&m play on his body in a fetish club. (I don't play at home.) I call it the opposite theory.  When I was freshly divorced a few years back and made it clear I only wanted light-hearted fun, guys got upset because I declined a long-term relationship with them. After 20 years of marriage I was allergic to commitment.  As a Poly Dominant Woman, now looking for a single, live-out second guy.( I think seeing a guy a few times a month long-term can be seen as a relationship. Well I do anyway.) Unfortunately no guy who approaches is seeking long-term and I don't play on the first EiGHT meets. Though I like younger guys I am also aware they are not looking for commitment so won't be suitable for what I seek.  
Rest in Eternal Peace Della (CAPUTMORTE)You will be missed. A True Mistress and a Beautiful Friend ❤️🕊️❤️
Why I do NOT want My bags carried.   Those who know Me well, know I have gone on quite the health journey in the last 4 years.  I understand much more than I once did.  Due to this, I carry My own heavy cameras and camera bags, I will pick up purchases in the store that are heavy and not allow a male with Me to carry them for Me, and any attempt or offer to do so, is firmly rejected.   So, why do I do that?  It is simple, staying healthy means picking up heavy things, pushing the body.  Yes, I go to the gym and lift weights, use resistance machines, etc.  But, I absolutely embrace when LIFE brings the chances to do so, without special time set aside, etc.   Grins, I will admit when the male is being looked at by others, as though he is not doing his job, I find his discomfort and embarassment, quite entertaining.  One time, I was out photographing, with the same cameras you see on My profile, and another male chastised the male with Me, for not carrying My gear.  I laughed and made it VERY clear, he was not allowed to do so, as it did not suit My purposes.  Of course, it was MY decision!!  
Master's WritingsCreating a DynamicThe dynamic I want to create has its foundation in trust, open communication and pure honesty. These pave the way for how we relate to each other, how much of ourselves we will give and let go within the dynamic, and how safe we feel to be owned or to own another. The greater the foundation, the deeper the dynamic, and I seek genuine, tremendous depth.The best dynamics allow both kink and vanilla elements to flourish. Even in a total 24/7 dynamic there are vanilla elements that impact and are necessary to the health of the greater dynamic. To ignore this is to ignore the human you wish to create the dynamic with.Dynamics must be flexible and ever evolving. They are living breathing things when done correctly. They require nurturing, maintenance, and love, just as those who live within them do. As individuals, we all have needs. We evolve. We grow, and so too must dynamics. There must be flexibility to bend to whims of the moment, grow as the tastes and needs of the individuals evolve, and be reborn when people, situations and events take us off track.Finally, dynamics must reflect all participants. I seek a collaborative development of a dynamic where each has an appropriate voice, with opportunity to step outside of roles as needed for essential conversations to ensure none are forgotten as we build and rebuild our dynamic over time.Creating this dynamic has been my dream for longer than I can remember. But no one person can create this on their own. It requires another who feels this need as greatly as I do. 
Someone asked me the other day why I love my dog so much. I am a nurturer by nature, it's just what I do. But that's not the only reason. Dogs are not dogs, they are people, and she is my family. She is the family that is separate from my terrible family. She is the family that is happy to see me every time she looks at me. Every single time. Comes over for kisses and snuggles. Wants to be close to me. Puts her paws on me if I'm not giving her enough attention. She sleeps in my lap, I'm not kidding. If I move during the night she gets up and repositions herself between my legs. She loves me unequivocally. I don't feel like I hold much value for my family. And because I don't trust them with my feelings I don't get to let my guard down and be soft. But to my dog, I'm happiness. I give her all of the love and hugs and kisses and belly rubs and snuggles that she lets me. I feel like I matter. She is my heart and I will choose her over my terrible family every day of the week. She's lying next to me now, turned away from the light of the screen. I know as soon as I get into bed she will walk over my leg and settle, anchoring me. 
Reading people posting in their journal about various system errors here  Then reading others complain about people's profiles not being honest, where the profile says they are ready to relocate but they aren't or where the profile says they are into something but they are not willing to do that. Now wondering if some of that is also system bugs. Like the people who list as one sexual orientation but when you look at their Looking For it's in conflict with their stated gender and orientation, including when it's cis.  Now just found someone's journal and then their profile says, QUOTE: I sometimes accidentally add someone to my favorites. Because I read your profile it means nothing. I accidentally tap a profile. END OF QUOTE I believe her. So there's errors and slips of the finger and typos and some system bugs. But that said, there's definitely lots of less than honest profiles too   Or forgetfulness. Here's a challenge, post your favorite or else your top 3 examples of things from profiles but they should be funny, to lighten the mood, not infuriating things, would be my suggestion. My own example is I have seen literally DOZENS of profiles that have a few words and saying they just joined and then they say they will quote SOON... soon they promise, they'll add more details..   Then you look at their profile and it's been here for years and years... haha. If it was just a handful okay but so many say that, they say they just joined and will add more very soon, but no updates. Or course I also hear about approval taking months for profile revisions so mabye that gets folks to be reluctant to update their profile. I'm reluctant myself for same said reason..
I am suffering from depression, anxiety and stress due to my employment issues (read: my boss is a bully). my go has put me on antidepressants and I'm looking for another job, but meanwhile I am finding my life kind of difficult. Moaning because I haven't responded to your messages is not helping me, because I am a people pleaser and it makes me uncomfortable that you're angry that I haven't responded. I do not have the energy to write lots of messages, and the criticism I'm getting from some of you is distressing. Yes, if you don't understand that I log on here for maybe two minutes between work and sleep (because that's about all I do these days) by all means stop talking to me, but sometimes the little messages are all the conversation I have in a day. Don't make it be a mean one.
As someone recently pointed out (Thankyou !!!!), I havent updated my Journal on here for a LONG time. Not since "Collarme" days for those of you who've been on the site for a while may recall. So heres a quick update! Having recovered from 2 bout of Covid and Long Covid, a year out of work through the lockdowns, and a reticence to "get back out there" that i've finally overcome, I'm looking to get back into the scene this year! My last relationship ended sadly at the end of 2018, and while I'm happy on my own, I'm missing the lifestyle. So next month I plan to visit the BBB again, maybe refresh my "bag of  tricks" as one lady called it. And plan to pop along to some local munches too. and maybe along the way find someone to share some fun times with. Who knows. C    
Help me out here. When you say you love to torture people, what does that exactly mean? Because I'm thinking that's not a kink, that's a serial killer in the making. I don't really understand the desire to inflict pain. Can't you just get in a bar fight? People who want to intentionally physically hurt people and act on it are predators. Right, right, consent. Yes. Consent accepts that you are a predator. It doesn't change the status. Bah and grumble with a dismissive hand wave, as long as the circle stays where it is, I suppose I don't have much commentary other than my original thought. I don't get it. 
Oh, George… bless your heart for writing me a whole novel about how you want to “look into a sadistic woman’s eyes” while she perverts you into anal bliss. Truly poetic. But here’s the problem: you’re out here asking for a woman to host you for a month like you’re some kind of kinky exchange student, and all you’re offering is sexual gratification—as if women are sitting around saying, “You know what I need? A strange out-of-towner living in my house for 30 days to eat my food, hog my bathroom, and tell me how multicultural he is in between begging to be pegged.”   You spent time in multinational corporations? Cute. I’m sure your old coworkers will be thrilled to know you’re now out here writing essays about “soft sensual erotic rape play” and “verification photos” like you’re running a BDSM HR department. And let’s be honest—if the highlight of your pitch is “I’m not into pro dommes, but please abuse me sexually,” you might need to realize… sir, you are basically asking for free labor with room and board included.   It’s giving: “Hi, I’m George, I bring nothing but my dick, my mouth, and a suitcase of sci-fi DVDs. Please ruin me, host me, and feed me while I explore my journey.” My love, women are not Airbnbs for your perversion vacations. You wanting someone to host you for a month and offering nothing but orgasms is like me telling Amazon Prime, “I’ll pay for my package with good vibes and a smile.”   So, George, no—no sadistic woman is out here waiting for a floundering consultant to move into her house for a month-long pegging intensive. But I truly hope you find someone on Collarspace who’s willing to take on your… dissertation of desires. Godspeed.
its two big things are dehumanization and milking. There are items that go along with that, like training and leash etc, but still fall under dehumanizing and milking.   The type of dehumanizing is a bit more fuid. Obvious is cow and that is very acceptable. However, it is nice to be more social/interactive with owners and thinks as a puppy this is more likely so would be very happy to be a puppy.   In either case, so long as it no longer sees itself as human and is milked, that is its fantasy (Yes for now it is fantasy, being realistic, can call it goal if you prefer). Not looking to be abused, kept as a pet and treated as any sane person would treat a pet.
I need to serve. Not pay, serve. Too many pros it seems on this site. (Nothing against, but I'm old  guard BDSM).   I am experienced. I am loyal. I am devoted.    Sure, I may be older than many, at 56, but age is just a number.    Started old school BDSM. Have even been a live in sissy slave. I used to be not only involved with local community    via the now defunct ALCC, but was its president for a few years. I am SERIOUS about the lifestyle.
Gratitude and Adoration slave needs to Iive in a world of gratitude and adoration. The more it emphasizes those two mental attributes, the happier it will be accepting its true slave self. My training will help it develop these two alternate mental states, slave.
This platform should have a DO NOT DISTURB button that you could click to keep people from incessantly messaging you just because they see you online.  I legit do not like chatting to randoms. After a handful of messages, I'm over it. Talk without action is DEAD. I am best suited for men who make things happen.  If a sub can message me for the first time ever,  at 8am, express his interest of being of service,  and randomly book a flight from his state to mine.... just to take me to dinner at 6:30pm. There really is no excuse acceptable of why you can't do the most basic of tasks if you think you are worthy of my attention. 
***Rant Incoming*** This is just common courtesy. If you send me a message, I will respond to you but in a timely manner (unless this site goes down) and I can't respond. If you read my email and don't respond because you didn't like my answer, then that is your problem, not mind. Please at least have the courtesy of emailing me back saying that "You are not what I am looking for, the best of luch to you." and I will respond back "I totally understand, best of luch to you as well." Just don't fucking ghost me! That will get your email deleted and you fucking blocked for life!   ***Done Ranting***
3 things you’ve done today: - SHOWERED TWICE. - PAINTED A CERTAIN PART OF THE KITCHEN FLOOR GLOSSY WHITE. - CUT GRASS OUT FRONT. 3 things you’ve purchased recently: - DORITOS. - CRANBERRY JUICE. - FOLGERS COFFEE. 3 things you’ve eaten today: - MAC & SHEESE. - BEANS. - BREAD. 3 movies you enjoy: - 'BEETLEJUICE'. - 'THE HUNGER'. - 'CAT PEOPLE'. 3 of your favorite bands: - DURAN DURAN. - SIOUXSIE & THE BANSHEES. - DEPECHE MODE. 3 songs you enjoy: - 'ENJOY THE SILENCE'. - 'ORNAMENTS OF GOLD'. - 'NEW MOON ON MONDAY'. 🎼🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶💜 3 things you wish for: - I WISH MY MOM NEVER PASSED-ON & SHE WAS STILL HERE WITH US. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - I REALLY WISH EVERY LAST UNCONSCIONABLE LOWLIFE REPUBLICAN IS VOTED THE FOCK OUT OF OFFICE SOON. 😑😑😑😑😑 - W EED. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 3 things you’re wearing: - BLACK BAGGY SHORTS. - A PAIR OF WHITE KNEE-HIGH COTTON SOCKS. - ANOTHER PAIR OF WHITE KNEE-HIGH COTTON SOCKS (I always wear 2 Pairs of Socks...for years...ha. Yup.). 3 things on your mind: - "I Love You Forever And Ever And Ever, Ma..." 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - "Oh, This Timelessly-Beautiful Goth DarkWave Rock Sure ALWAYS Makes Me Feel Like I'm Eternally 17...ha...yup." 🤘😎🤘 💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤 - "Ohhhhh...I Gotta Shower! So fucking Hot & Sticky right now!" 😆😆😆😆😆 3 of your favorite smells: - AFRICAN MUSK OIL.💚 - CK1 COLOGNE.🤍 - CITRUS AIR FRESHENER.🧡 3 words to describe how you feel now: - DAMN SLEEPY. - FRESHLY-SHOWERED. - UNEASY. 3 things you like about yourself: - FIT. - VEGETARIAN. - DANCER. 3 unpopular opinions you have: - THE WORLD HAS A *BAD* OVERPOPULATION PROBLEM, SO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE PARENTS SHOULD HAVE ONLY ONE CHILD FROM HEREON... - ...AND/OR GET SPAYED/NEUTERED.✂️ - AAAAALL THOSE DESPICABLE, GUILTY, VIOLENT, TRAITOROUS, TREASONOUS JANUARY 6th INSURRECTIONISTS NEED TO SUMMARILY BE TRIED & CONVICTED EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 🔨 3 things you enjoy doing: - SMOKING W EED🤩...THEN... - ...DAAAAANCING...HA. 🥰 - FILLING THESE SURVEYS OUT SOMETIMES. 3 of your favorite photos (or memories): - PHOTOS OF MOM. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 - FAMILY PHOTOS OF YEARS AGO WHEN I WASN'T SO GODDAMNED CYNICAL, BITTER, & JADED, I GUESS. - I HAVE LOTS OF COSPLAY PHOTOS, HEH. 3 things in your room: - A 6' 6" WOODEN COFFIN. - A 5' WOODEN COFFIN. - A 6' WOODEN COFFIN (I'm A CoffinMaker...for yeeeeeeears. There's also A 6' 4" Coffin too.). 3 things that scare you: - FIRE. 🔥🤯🤯🤯 - DANGEROUSLY-IMMATURE (Anti-Vaccine/Anti-Mask) SELFISH PEOPLE. 😷💉 - DANGEROUSLY-STUPID TRUMP CULTISTS. 😑 3 things that you find attractive in a person: - SHE LOVES WEED. - SHE DISLIKES REPUBLICANS. - SHE CARES ABOUT FITNESS. 3 places you have traveled: - NO. - NOPE. - NUH-UH. 3 of your favorite flowers or plants: - ROSES. - LILIES. - WEED. 3 facts about your current life: - I JUST GOT 2 NEW TATTOOS A FEW DAYS AGO. - I'M VERY FUCKING ATTRACTED TO A YOUNG, SLIM, POLITE, SUPER-RESPECTFUL BLACK GIRL THAT WORKS AT THE STORE DOWN THE ROAD, HEH...I SENSE SHE ALSO FEELS THE SAME WAY...🤩😍🥰 - MY EX-GIRLFRIEND GOT REALLY FUCKING SICK WITH COVID, & SHE UNFORTUNATELY WENT THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF IT, BUT SHE EVENTUALLY RECOVERED, BLESSEDLY...BUT IT ALSO REALLY MESSED HER UP MENTALLY & EMOTIONALLY, & SHE LATER TOLD ME THAT SHE REALLY NEEDED TO BE ALONE. 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 💔💔💔💔💔 😞😞😞😞😞 OKAY, THEN...ALRIGHT. I UNDERSTAND...I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR SPACE. I WON'T GIVE YOU A HARD TIME. I DON'T LIKE THIS, BUT I DO UNDERSTAND. I MISS YOU, I LOVE YOU, & I ALWAYS WILL...💜🖤💜🖤💜 🐢❤🐢 3 books you’ve read recently: - OOOOO...I *USED*... - ...TO READ BOOKS... - ...A *LOT!* 😆😆😆😆😆 3 things you are planning to do this summer: - UGH...WELL, I KEEP PUTTING-OFF SOME FLOORING I NEED TO GET DONE. HOPEFULLY SOON. I'M FAST. I'VE DONE LOTS OF FLOORING BEFORE. DIFFERENT KINDS. - MORE PAINTING. THESE 90-100 DEGREE DAYS ARE PERFECT FOR FAST DRYING TIMES. PAINTED FOR YEARS. I'M FAST & CLEAN. - UM, HOPEFULLY SOON GET A NEW PICK-UP FINALLY. NEED IT. IT'S A CRUCIALLY-VITAL TOOL, DAMMIT! 3 games you enjoy - any type: - "MORTAL KOMBAT' (even though I have actually Not Played VideoGames since ARMAGEDDON came out. I'm not a Gamer.) - 'YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!' - 'CATCH PHRASE' 3 facts about your appearance: - I CHANGE APPEARANCES A LOT; I GUESS ONE OF MY SPIRIT ANIMALS IS THE CHAMELEON, HA... - I JUST GOT 2 OLDER TRIBAL TATTOOS ON EITHER SIDE OF MY HEAD REDARKENED A FEW DAYS AGO. *NOW*: TIME TO LET THE HAIR REGROW OUT AGAIN...HAHA...😆😆😆😆😆 -MY NAILS ARE *ALWAYS* BLACKPOLISHED. https://youtu.be/cKxhNfdCc34
Not looking for a long term relationship right now. Although one can never tell how and when relationships develop over time. More interested in meeting Ladies of our ilk who would enjoy the backseat of a Harley while taking in the countryside. Plenty of beautiful roads here in New Jersey, and neighboring New York and Pennsylvania. Great time of the year now. You up for a ride?
I am halfway to keeping backwards hours, friends. Happens every summer. So here it is, neay 11 PM, I just finished doing the goddess's laundry, and I am about to start Ice Planet Barbarians. I know, sounds goofy. It's highly rated in the spicy book group. The group is hilarious, by the way. There was a giant discussion about rimming boyfriends and husbands the other day. Are you a fan? It seems a lot of men are against it. I've never done it, not to say I wouldn't. I'm curious why, if biologically you have a really great reason to like butt stuff, you wouldn't want to? Is the societal stigma that strong? Cut it out and do butt stuff. This is not the post I started out writing. Better just go read. 
Just a foot note, I will not comment on the USA Presidents HOME POLICIES, but will say to me he is a Facist in Disguise when it comes to the rest of the world. A Majority of so call conflicts He has allegedly solved is based on rare minerals, and the fact of attaining them at all costs. And as to His contempt of Ukraine and the EU, Hopefully in the not too distant future, the EU will stand up to the USA and say they no longer need them, and to remove all their bases from EU soil. SO IF YOU ARE A SUPPORTER OF TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE.  
The Pitch It was late afternoon when Heather asked me to go with her to Jim's office.  A few dozen people were still enjoying the pool and patio while listening to music.  I followed her into the house and was led to Jim's office.  It was  masculine looking with leather chairs and a sofa and a mahogany desk.  I looked around and there were framed movie posters on the wall.  They were gaudy with titles such as Bound Bitch and Mantool.  I could read Jim's name on them as directed by.  Jim came in, smiled at us and sat down and lit a cigar. Jim, puffing smoke:  I'm so glad you came today.  As you can see we're like a family.  We have a lot of fun.  I don't want you to feel any pressure to do anything so let me explain what this is all about.  I make movies as you can see. I've done pretty well.  Heather has starred in a lot of them.  We both love bondage and want to do a movie with bondage and torture.  Not real torture of course.  My sweet baby (looking at Heather) has written a script which I think is dynamite.  It's the kind of movie that I think people will want to stay until the end to see what happens.  When we saw your scene at the party the other day I said to her that you'd be perfect for it.   Me:  I'm not a porn actress. Jim, grinning:  No no we already got that.  We think you'd be a good bondage model.  We would respect your limits of course and there'll be a female coordinator there the whole time.   Heather:  I'm narrating it.  I'll be your torturer.  You don't have to memorize any lines or anything.  We just want to film your reactions to the torments.  When we watched you being whipped while being suspended that night we just fell in love with your reactions and emotions.   Me, looking at both of them:  Can I see the script? Heather:  Of course!  Better yet, would you like to see the torture chamber? Jim: Go show her the set.  Look, no pressure.  We understand if you don't want to do this.  It'll be fun. Think about and let me know.   Jim got up and shook my hand and smiled.  Heather and I left the room and I was led through the cavernous home to a large door with an unlit "Quiet On Set" sign.  She opened the door and I looked around.   It was a movie set.  The set was a medieval torture chamber with stone (fake) walls.  I saw a rotating wheel of pain, a rack, a suspension frame and a crucifix.  Everything looked so real.  It blew me away. Heather: So what do you think? Me: I'm in.   Next up Action!  
I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be? You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be I'm searching for something that I can't reach My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be Ghost by Halsey (it's a song)
I like that former submissives know they can depend on me when they really need me. Today may have gone a bit far. ~phone rings~ "Hey, what's up?" "SWAT wanted me to call you." "SWAT?" "Yeah. My son is off his meds and holding me hostage. SWAT got called." He was in no place to follow SWAT directions. She was too upset that they were going to shoot him. They were upset that she was too upset to follow directions and help them deescalate it. So they asked her to call someone she felt safe talking to. And so now I can add Hostage Negotiator to my list of experiences.
Sub frenzy isn’t devotion. It’s a full blown psychological house fire and you’re standing in the middle of it, smiling like it’s candlelight. It starts as hunger. Then it becomes need. Then it becomes override everything just don’t lose this. And that’s where it gets dangerous not just for the submissive spiraling, but for anyone holding the other end of that dynamic. Because let’s be very clear If you’re a Dominant and you don’t recognize sub frenzy, you are either inexperienced or you’re part of the problem. Frenzy is loud if you know what to look for. It’s the rushed attachment. The “I’ll do anything” energy way too early. The collapsing boundaries. The constant seeking of approval like oxygen. The way they mold themselves to you before you’ve even proven you’re safe to hold that kind of power. That is not a green light. That is a warning flare. A submissive in frenzy is not in a grounded place to consent cleanly, to negotiate clearly, or to advocate for themselves when something goes wrong. Their “yes” can be soaked in fear of losing you instead of genuine desire. And if you take advantage of that if you push, escalate, or feed off that desperation without slowing them down? That’s not dominance. That’s exploitation with a title. A real D type doesn’t just take control they manage the state of the person they’re engaging with. They watch for the cracks. They check in. They pull things back when the energy gets unstable, even if it would be easier and more gratifying not to. Sometimes the most dominant thing you can do is say, “Stop. Breathe. We’re not moving forward like this.” Because power without responsibility is just dressedup harm. But here’s the part people don’t like to hear: Even with awareness, even with check-ins, even with good intentions sometimes a dynamic still turns toxic. Maybe the submissive stays in frenzy and refuses to ground. Maybe the Dominant starts enjoying the control a little too much and stops caring about impact. Maybe communication breaks down and what started as connection turns into damage. When that happens, you don’t “push through.” You don’t “fix it with more intensity.” You don’t cling harder like that’s going to magically make it healthy. You leave. Yeah leave. I don’t care how good it felt at the start. I don’t care how strong the pull is. I don’t care how rare you think it is. If the dynamic is harming you mentally, emotionally, physically you step out of it like your sanity matters more than the connection. Because it does. Staying in something toxic and calling it devotion is just a slower way to self-destruct. And for the submissives drowning in that frenzy spiral: You are not “failing” by pulling back. You are not “less submissive” for needing stability. You are not weak for choosing yourself over a dynamic that’s eating you alive. And for the Dominants: If someone is unraveling in your hands and your response isn’t to steady them but to tighten your grip? You need to check yourself before you wreck someone. Because this isn’t a game of who can fall the hardest. It’s about who can hold power without turning it into a weapon. Sub frenzy will make you forget that. Grounded connection will remind you. And if you have to choose between being consumed or being whole? You already know the right answer. Even if it hurts like hell to act on it.  
For those that simply ask " How are you ? " .  you don't have to ask .  I'll tell you here before you ask.  I'm doing ok.   If you simply write and just say Hi.  Then I'm here saying Hi back.   Why is that ? So I don't feel the need to small chat with someone. That is not my purpose of being on this site.  I AM NOT lonely and looking for a chat buddy.  Honestly I am not.  Now if your deeply into alternative medicine ,  an advid  gardner, a highly spiritual being then I might be intested in " chatting " with you.   But my guess is 99.99 % of people that read this is not into those things.   That being said I am looking for someone no matter what your age/looks/ education or lack of, is .  That doesn't not matter to me in the least. What matters is are you someone I would consider in owning in real time ?  If you think you are then write and let me know... in DETAIL.   It is an extreme blessing that I don't waste my time on time wasters. 
Smh at the multitude of bois within 50 miles that approach, engage,  insist they want to meet .. until we set a date and time, then backpedal and postpone or cancel with every excuse in the book .. Sooooo...I'm pretty much at the pt I don't wont cant believe anything anyone idk irl says cyber.   If you are one of the very rare pearls here that does want real-time Ds interactions come meet Me at the munch on Thursday 9 29 at Spins in Peekskill 6:30ish. It's an arcade with a bar in the back. I'm the One with long multicolored hair. .. restaurant upstairs is Fin and Brew if that's easier to goo gle Que sera .. or as history here proves, most likely not We.Shall.See
Yet another update as of May 20 2023. I shouldn't have to say this but if you are old enough to be my parents then we will not play in any capacity. I will only go 5 years older or younger than myself and I will be 30 in October, do the math. Also note that again as it states in my profile that if you act like you own me I will not even entertain the idea. I am not some rug that you can walk on. I have more experience in my pinky than some of you who claim to have more than 5 years in Master Slave situations. I do not have to respond to every message seeing as I get over 100 a day I will only reply to those that intrest me and have put actual thought into their message. Seems like thats asking too much for you because you want to get your rocks off? Well that's too damn bad. I'm off to snuggle up with my cat and play my game of  Who Actually Reads Shit.
 When I wrote my profile, I had no idea what this site was like, but now that I've been here for a little while, I have a few things to add:I'm not interested in slaves, domestic servants or switches. This should go without saying, but I'm also not interested in men who aren't single. Long distance relationships don't work. If you don't currently live in (or near enough to conveniently drive to) the state of Florida, we will not be a match.My inbox has been flooded with messages from nameless, faceless guys who want to chat, but I'm not on this site looking for anonymous penpals. I'm sorry.I'm not interested in talking to submissives without photos. You've seen my face. If you feel uncomfortable showing me yours, that's totally fine, but if you're just words on a screen, I'm not going to be able to take you seriously. I am monogamous, and I have absolutely no interest in cuckolding. If that sort of thing interests you, you are not a candidate for the kind of relationship I'm looking for, so please don't waste my time or yours.  
I found the start of this made a few changes... A partial list of subby duties we are looking for... - Able to laugh, giggle, roll eyes, face palm or any combination thereof to my horrible jokes and bad puns.- Have a personality and brain of her own and able to give an opinion, respectfully of course.- Help in my efforts and quest for world domination.- Be an appreciated, non-imaginary friend who just enjoys being around.- Have quirks and perhaps a bit of crazy in the right doses.- Puts up with snuggles while watching a movie-or any time.- Suck, but not in a bad way.- Put up with being protected and adored.- Be sweet and innocent but oh so dirty.- Can handle being used for sexual teasing and Sensual Domination.- Who cries sometimes when she’s happy- Is willing to do a strip tease to the song “Itsy Bitsy Spider” while doing all the motions.- Who appreciates that sometimes Master just needs physical release and you are there for that.- Suffer through a nice candle light meal full of conversation.- Enjoy new adventures.- Who celebrates Master’s enjoyment whether she is the source or not  - Understand, put up with and even enjoy a bit of sarcasm.- Will be slightly embarrassed when I open the door for her.- Enjoys getting dressed up, and dressed down for her Dom.- Can enjoy breakfast for dinner.- Able to stand having her neck kissed for no other reason then it was within reach. Oh there will be lots of service, duties, kinks and sex too, but We wanted to mention the really important things first. So if you still have an interest, send a message -- we'd enjoy talking to you.
Many messages- let's addres and be clear and concise.  So many have this aversion to Dominants who are interested in transactional ects of this lifestyle and so many have been taken advantage of, hurt, scammed. I am so sorry you've put yourself in such position, except- own it and wear a helmet. If youre that desperate but only wish to live bi-curiously through your online persona, behind the security of a screen and your cowardice; please do not judge and condemn those of Us who truly are committed to who We are as dominants.  This may not be the absolute truth, it is simply My experience in over fifteen years in this particular site, lifestyle and walking in My truth and acceptance as a Dominant Woman, you seek leadership, direction, guidance, for someone else to take the responsability (often times, the burden) of where you are and guide you to be the best you can be, to serve Us. Power exchange is not, at least for Me, a kink. It is My identity, in every ect and area of of My life. So, approach with humility, accountabilit and honesty to your own self, to who and what you say you are. Do not, however, message me with aimless superficial comments, idle or vain conversation or the worst- requests as though you are pulling up a drive thru window topping from the bottom making requests and commands.    Infinite question?-" How does one earn a spot at Goddes' feet?"   Through committed, consistent actions. Bdsm aside, that’s how a man, woman( however it is you identify as)who knows who he/she is/ they are, what he/she/they is/are doing, what his/her/their purpose is and what he/she is /they are willing to be or become to get it knows the price for anything is actions for it speaks of who he/she is they are, his/her character and value. Values are simply what W/we value most above all else. Values are Priorities. The higher the priorities, higher the standard- My standards. The higher the price paid in any power exchange is and will always be submission and sacrifice of who you are through your actions, not words.  sacrifice of your time, commitment and honest and consistent actions and communication. That in itself is money, is the kind of money, finances, many here do not have  because as subs or slaves the are simply not it or are not at the level I and many dominants deserve. All is well, so lukewarm and flakes or those who revel in nice ideas and words but are not in a covenant and commitment towards who they are. Many are not even aware they are required and must take ownership of their identity. Who it is you, as a sub or slave, at best are mediocre, and at worst are cowards. so they’re filtered away by their limitations and mediocrity. Many of you discarded and ignored to continue to repeat the same level, course, process, lessons over and over and over because you are completely comfortable in your discomfort, victim hood and mediocrity whilst continue to complain why you are where you are, why you suffer, for you do not see that is you who limits yourself. Without said self revelation and acceptance, there cannot be space for the discipline and obedience to your own self as a submissive, slave. Taking ownership, accountability and responsibility of this self awareness is to be committed and loyal to who it is you are at your core and pay whatever price necessary; whether it is parts of yourself, to be transformed, upgraded, or simply let go and let die so your true self can be liberated through deed. This is one very finite answer to what I mean by “earn a spot at Goddess’ feet”- at any dominants feet quite frankly.   We are what W/we give and in return what W/we are and give is also what is returned to U/us ten fold. To serve is a privilege that requires sacrifice and courage, to give is also to receive. Both are one and the same. For Me? This is the standards I adhere and live by- so whatever is done for Me I know is the minimum for I know who and what as a sub or slave with trust, committed actions and guidance My subs have flourished and transformed into their own personal and professional lives. 
Thought for the day   "Everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright, then it's not the end." The best exotic marigold hotel. 
I had someone message me about their interest at 5:50PM.    After I wrote a response and pressed SEND 40 minutes later at 6:30PM, I found out he had blocked me. If you list yourself as a submissive and you do this to a Domme, I think you probably have more control issues than a room of Dominants. Just because someone shows as being online here, it doesn't mean that full attention is on this website.   As a matter of fact, there are times when I just do not log out. So many subs claim that they have been looking for Domme a long time.    If that is true, can't you wait another few hours...a few days???     If your feelings get hurt so easily that you need to block someone for not responding on YOUR timeline, perhaps you need to rethink about how this is working for you.
Just some side notes: I am 47 as of spring of 2023. Not interested if you're less than 35 or older 60. Seriously. No. If your message resembles a cat call, is asking me if I'm into xyz, reads like a copy pasta or have almost no content/effort, is asking me for my number/photo/messaging id somewhere else, is disrespectful, etc. No and/or blocked. If you are 15 miles or more from JFK or LGA airports, do consider how you will be doing ALL the commuting before messaging me.  Also, I am NOT a sugar mommy. I will not reimburse you for your travel expenses or put you up unless we are in an established relationship. If and when we are in a long term relationship and travel is required, I'd expect that expense to be shared fairly. Something about fair energy exchange.  Oh, before you message me, you might want to check out my fetlife profile with the same userid. Most of it is a bit dated, I am not terribly active there. However it will give you a better sense of who I am. Let's not waste each other's time shall we? 
I enjoy periodically taking the BDSM Test. Its interesting to track and see how my tastes have changed and evolved over time. == Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Dominant 100% Master/Mistress 100% Rigger 100% Sadist 100% Exhibitionist 99% Voyeur 91% Primal (Hunter) 91% Degrader 89% Non-monogamist 87% Brat tamer 86% Experimentalist 81% Owner 35% Vanilla 26% Daddy/Mommy 10% Ageplayer 0% Switch 
Most of us don't know what we really want. We have vague unrealistic general hopes (such as wanting a lottery win), but when asked to name our specific realistic goals we often struggle. It's probably because so much of our life is bound up in everyday survival - the endless toll of 24-hour emails and social media, plus all the issues and stresses we're dealing with take their toll on our ability to dream and make those dreams come true. 
Kink is all relative. I have many extreme ones and some mild ones. The thing is, I only have few "must-haves".  I am not and will never be absolutely monogamous. That isn't to say I am looking for a poly relationship or some sort of stable of slaves. Hardly that. That is negotiable.   I have a simple rule "obey". I do not llike "funishment". Again, we can negotiate what that meanns as eveery dynamic is as different as the conswenting folks involved. I enjoy orgasm control, teasing and denial. You must be willing to give me that control.   The rest of it is optional.   I wish you all peace, joy and laughter.
Hi. Thank you for  stopping by. Why the user name? There are many guys of a certain economic social class who grew up having a car as the first personal space. This meant that many initial sexual experiences took place and said car. The car became linked to the concept of eroticism. From filling up your girlfriend to your first initial sexual experiences, and automobile was often the The person who gave me the keychain, we used to f*** behind Walmarts all the time, before the Advent of cameras everywhere. By the way, Volkswagen golfs are excellent f****** cars :-) Finally, f****** outdoors just add something extra! If you've never done it, the first time you do you will see what I'm talking about.
   I feel compelled to specify this in my journal, so I don't have to update my profile d e s c r i p t i o n and wait for it to be approved again.      I am an actual genuine transgender person, NOT A CROSSDRESSER. I have to say this, since I see certain users that are crossdressers or have a fetish for crossdressing only for sexual occassions, labelling themselves as "transgender" .      Myself, I am actually transgender, on hormones for several years now, and permanently dressing, acting and identifying as a girl.
I take pleasure in the details others miss. The subtle shifts in posture, the way hesitation creeps into speech, the quiet tremor in anticipation—these are my playgrounds. I am not loud; I am deliberate. Each command, each touch, each calculated pause is designed to bend will and sharpen obedience. Sadism is my craft. I derive satisfaction from controlled discomfort, from the tension that builds when anticipation meets consequence. My discipline is precise; my rewards, rare but unforgettable. Those under my guidance learn quickly that pleasure and pain are entwined, that obedience earns more than praise—it earns my approval, my attention, my game. I do not need to dominate every moment to dominate fully. Silence, observation, and a single deliberate action carry more weight than chaos ever could. My presence alone is authority, my judgment absolute. I seek those who crave structure, who understand that submission is a gift to be earned, not assumed. If you are willing to surrender, to test your limits under watchful eyes, you may find yourself shaped by hands and mind that do not falter, and you may discover how deep obedience can go.  
My profile text as of 15 yerars ago. It was much too long.   I am a submissive TV with small bones for a male, a slim waist line and slender, fine features - very full brown hair down to shoulder length (as you can see) - very passable and used to living in female clothes - quite fit and great endurance, but below average brute-strength abilities for genetic male. I am generally submissive to those I admire, respect and/or fear, and eager to please them - have also been told repeatedly throughout life that I am abnormally humble and gentle for a genetic male. I'm quite adept at various stereotypically feminine pursuits such as cooking, sewing, house cleaning, laundry, ironing, clothes maintenance and gardening. I have some experience (though not abundant) serving life-style/non-pro Dommes and Dom/me couples, though not for longer than a week at a time. Acknowledging that the specific individuals are more important than the particular concept, I could see myself as open to and being happy in a number of possibilities, depending upon the details:   - a more mild monogamous long-term relationship with a dominant woman. It would probably be best, if You leaned toward the sensual domme end of the spectrum.- full-time enslavement to a Domme or lesbian dominant couple: Although I would hopefully provide You with the basic emotional and domestic support that You seek in a long-term TPE relationship, I recognize that You may have cravings for a manly man (or men!), and would try my best not to show the jealousy I would no doubt feel to some extent, should You decide to satisfy these cravings.   Regardless of the particular concept, it would be desirable, if You were enthusiastic about strict feminization and enforced chastity of the trans submissive.A situation involving old-school domesticity and self-sufficiency will be a distinct plus, and, in this case, I will be quite happy to carry the domestic bulk of that burden in the relationship; I just don't want to serve someone who'll insist that I buy processed packaged foods only, for instance.     Thank You for Your time!  
What are the origins of My interest in the Master/slave dynamic? That's a question I have asked Myself many times and still find the answer elusive. Was it all those sword and sandal films I watched with the muscle bound men in chains? Or is it something deeper that drew me to those films and all the other images of lesser men serving a Superior? As humans, I believe we are drawn to others that confirm what we know is true about ourselves,  My involvement in training and developing slave minds and bodies dates back to the mid 1990's. I was newly out in My mid 30's and drawn to the darker edges of the gay community I was exploring. I began to notice a man watching me in the leater/levi bar I had started frequenting. The man was not physically attractive but his intensity interested Me. I was curious. Asking others brought a common warning, "he's a werido stay away". I continued to ignore and then finally one day he spoke to me. his first word to Me was "Sir".  More later...... 
Ya know I am just blown away by the women.  I'm sure some are fine, but I just can't understand if someone takes the time, and makes an effort to sincearly say hello and introduce yourself, souldnt that person at least read it?  I've had my profile about two months now. I sent about 6 messages.  One was read, the others were deleted unread.  Whats  up with that?  It's so rude and fucked up.  I get it,  Everyone is not interested , but at least read it or check out my profile.  Well needless to say, that tells me everything about the character of that person!
Thought it would be helpful to cover a few points here... Interview style conversation is not my thing, if you want to get to know me then use your ability to hold a flowing conversation,  not an interview I am single, I do not see why anyone in a happy relationship would be on sites chatting so I assume you are also single ... if not then please don't waste our time with trying to strike up a chit chat  As of this year, 2022 I will be 50 on my next birthday and I found the lifestyle when I was about 21 so you do the maths  Sorry but I don't want to meet someone who is close to my children's age, to be safe if you are more than 10 years older or younger than me we won't be matched  I am not a slave, honestly I am very sure of that. I do have strong sub tendencies with the right alpha male but seriously if you don't consume my head you won't stand a chance of controlling anything else I am not into poly or sharing or being shared. I am totally monogamous and if you are not then flick over to the next profile I live with my family, happy to discuss with the right person but I have a young child at home so seek someone who understands how to make a vanilla and lifestyle combined relationship work whilst keeping tiny ones protected from it all I am a non smoker, I don't vape, I rarely drink and am seeking someone similar. Nights in the pub are not of interest I work full time and have limited time free so I am not in a position to travel to meet someone, so local is needed. For anyone who thinks a plane ride is local then jog on as you really are not on the realistic spectrum I am seeking  Yes I have been collared twice and for some reason it seems relevant but to be honest the first waited almost a year before it happened as he knew to me I see it as a serious commitment I do have limits which are a mix of health and personal things so happy to discuss but they are not negotiable  Likes, vanilla and lifestyle wise are varied but those can be savoured as part of a conversation  I hope that has given a flavour and please do find happiness in your journey but don't come across my pathway of you are a new dom I am not looking to teach you the ropes, a dom who really is a sub (there are many on here), if you are a female dom (so not my thing), if you are a male sub and finally no female subs.  Cheers x 
I am a 48 year old transgender sissy slave.. I am from Denmark but I can relocate for the right person..  I am single, unowned, no kids, no friends, no family that will miss me, the perfect victim.. I am educated as an ITsupporter but I am unemployed at the moment.  I am looking for total and real slavery.. I am looking to be fully owned and controlled with no rights, no freedom, no escape, no hope, no mercy, becoming brainwashed, broken down, humiliated, degraded into deep slavery fearing what comes next, when is the next beating, when is the next rape, what is the next sick perverted thing done to me.. Always living in chains or in some sort of bondage, staying locked away in a pitch black cell and/or cage, maybe for weeks at a time.. I am just a worthless disgusting pig, a toy, a fuck doll, a rape victim waiting to get beat up and raped on a daily basis, violently abused, a piece of meat, a possion, property who Master can do with as he pleases.. I am a big nothing who is waiting to serve in anyway I can.. Limits are limited to dismemberment, death no pulling out teeth or nails, no broken bones, kicks to the face and try to limit fists to the face, but in the heat of the moment, shit happens..  
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==94% Submissive91% Rope bunny90% Voyeur71% Exhibitionist70% Primal (Prey)66% Experimentalist 60% Non-monogamist58% Slave44% Masochist 43% Boy/Girl40% Brat 37% Switch36% Vanilla30% Pet17% Ageplayer 16% Degradee
The only males I "might" be interested in live nearby, look good in a suit, are clean shaven with very short hair and little body hair, are not republican, are single, have lots of money. Not because I want it, I don't. But they need to have a clean, upscale place to meet that is safe. You also must have a recent picture on your profile. So if you fit the above and you live in Upper Arlington or in Dublin and your house backs up on the Muirfield Golf Course, or a similar Central Ohio area, say hello if you'd like! Other males, good luck in your search.      
My outlook on D/ s is a process the first choice is your choice to be sub and mine is Dom.  We agree to a form of power change and define what our power exchange will cover. Then first and this is what mater what are the strengths of the sub, attributes like in your case humor. Plus as many as we can define together.  Same for weakness. Must improve. What is off limits. This can take time but worth it. As we discuss in depth we both learn our foundation is the sub .  What is good we encourage growth . Bad we take steps to modify the goals a road map to achieve. It is now the Doms role to fit his own strengths into reaching the subs plan to make them shine and excel.  . The kink, discipline, rules and reward system a Dom is the same as a good Dad, a Boss .. maybe therapist. Except A Dom has kink as a tool...  I have been a father, a boss trained countless people and Dom came easy . It's an honor to have anyone put faith in me. It then puts tremendous pressure on me to take them to where they envision not my vision.  It may feel to them it's my vision .  In the end most have understood and were gracious thankfully. Don't know why I am sharing .. did.   
Some of my messages are getting redundant - so I'll post answers to my commonly asked questions here - My bra size is 38G or 38DDDD - a 38G and 38DDDD are the same size - depends on manufacturer which way they choose to list it.  Yes. I like pain. It's one of the many aspects of BDSM that I enjoy. Despite the photos, and despite the fact that I have had a fair amount of experience with impact play and corporal punishment, I do not have a lot of experience with extreme pain.   I'm located in metro-Atlanta, specifically Marietta. No - I am not willing or able to relocate. No I am not interested in long-distance / virtual to start with Dom re-locating if we are good match. I am not equipped for virtual submission. I don't have any children and do not want to have any children at this stage of my life.  I am willing to be friends with couples but I do not want to serve a couple or become a subsister to your wife or existing submissive or slave.  Hope this helps. 
Seems to be a trend:   == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Master/Mistress  97% Exhibitionist  96% Primal (Hunter)  95% Dominant  87% Non-monogamist  82% Experimentalist  81% Brat tamer  81% Owner  76% Rigger  64% Vanilla  59% Voyeur  54% Switch  42% Rope bunny  32% Submissive  32% Masochist  31% Daddy/Mommy  30% Brat  26% Degrader  21% Sadist  3% Degradee  0% Ageplayer  0% Boy/Girl  0% Pet  0% Slave   
LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR I have tried to make my profile very clear but seems men still do not get it. So Ill put it here so we do not waste each others time. I have had cancer, I am clear now.  You wont catch it from me. Due to treatment PIV is very painful and uncomfortable.  Oral on me is also very uncomfortable  So sex is not on the table which does not mean  there cant be sexual things for a sub but, sex is not the focus.  BDSM does not have to be all about sexual play. So if what you want is not a FLR or submissive but really want to have kinky play focusing on you getting to focus on sexual pleasure then please move along.  I am over hearing I would be perfect for you and how you would happily travel to spend time with me and then when you learn that you are not going to be screwing me  you vanish. 
Another day, another journal entry... This is subMeghan, once again announcing to you all that as I type this I am naked, wearing only my collar (and glasses), just as my Dom wishes...  and his wish, is my command... I got several follow-up messages regarding my last journal entry. So here are some of the details you all demanded to know. I was tied to a wooden chair with a high back.  Yes, my legs were spread wide apart with each ankle pulled back and tied to a back leg of the chair in such a way that only my toes touched the ground.  My wrists were tied together behind my back and behind the back of the chair. No, I was not blindfolded, but my Dom did remove my glasses.  Oh course I was naked.  (I don't know why someone would have thought otherwise.) As my Dom was going to leave me alone like this while he went to the grocery store, no nipple clamps, no clothes pins were used.  No ball gag was used.  Nothing extreme.  We wanted to play it safe since I'd be alone.  Although I would have preferred it, I was not allowed to have a virbrator.  All in all, this was a relatively easy position to maintain. No, I did not try and escape.  Again, I was alone and that might be dangerous. Let's see...  My dom was gone for at least an hour.  So basically I just sat there and waited.  When he came home, he did not immediately untie me, but rather did a few things first.  When he did untie me, he directed me to go and put the groceries away, which I did... I think that answered everybody's questions. If not, let me know... I hope you all have a great holiday weekend. subMeghan  
Master's WritingsWho am I? Master's Writings Who am I? Last week, someone asked me who I was as a Dominant. Of course I could give a quick answer, but I found that I needed and wanted to go deeper. I found I wanted to reconfirm my values and challenge myself to really define why I do this and who I want to be in my role. If I am willing to ask a sub to be genuine in their role, then I can do no less than look deeper and find a better answer? So here goes.... Who am I? As a person, I feel I am knowledgeable, intelligent, fun and outgoing. I have traveled extensively, love exploring food (I’m quite the accomplished cook), movies, music, sports. I’d do anything for my two kids, and I have two golden retrievers, whom I love almost as much as my kids. As a Dominant, I have worked to craft myself as a knowledgeable, caring, always learning and growing Master, who cares deeply about the experience of my submissive(s). In fact, the experience of my sub is very important to me and I put attention and care into each session. As a Dominant, I observe everything, do and say everything for a specific purpose, and believe that the best dynamics are a blend of vanilla and kink. And even though I have 10 years of experience in the lifestyle, I still make mistakes, but I require it of myself to learn from them every time. I believe that truly meaningful play is significantly more mental than physical. It requires a mental connection between individuals that can only come when there is understanding, honesty, trust, and communication. I know that the better I understand my partners, the richer play can become. That is why I prefer to spend time to get to know a person, understand needs, wants desires long before we initiate a scene. My kinks and fetishes are far ranging, some listed on my profile are merely passing interests while others are core to my enjoyment. Together the list is all over the place and I expect that it always will. Life is short, why not try it all? Yet, I know that no one person will perfectly match all my tastes. Please know that I take limits very seriously because I would never force another to participate in anything they held up as a limit. Trust is built upon respect and without respect for limits there can be no trust. Within the lifestyle, I seek so many things (not in any particular order) – experiences, connection, partners, playmates, fun, intensely beautiful moments, relationships that reach a depth the average person die from envy, and so very much more. I have seen Dominants who are just bullies, who use their title as a license to be domineering or worse. This is NOT me. I dominate for a purpose - to inspire, create experiences and help others achieve things they never thought possible and yes for myself as well. I am Dominant because I believe it is my true nature. I felt it from the first moment I assumed the role and have continue to feel that way ever since. Yet even so, I must continue to work to improve and deepen my understanding of myself in the lifestyle, in the role and as a person, so after all this deep dive, I am grateful for that someone who ask me this important question last week. It made me think.
A little more about me: I'm a current Masters degree student in tech, INTP, good looking, and I like to stay fit with swimming and the gym. When it comes to submission, I'd like to find one beautiful, intelligent, independent woman to worship. for the right woman I can be deeply submissive. I like being humiliated, degraded, and teased. I have my own specific kinks, but satisfying hers is a higher priority. I'm not into pain at all though, so CBT is a hard no. I also have a dominant side so if you're willing to switch then I'd be happy to.
Bondage Bondage is a common practice within BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism), which is a set of consensual activities involving power dynamics, role-playing, and various forms of erotic play. Bondage refers to the act of restraining or tying up a person for the purposes of sensory stimulation, power exchange, or simply as a form of erotic or aesthetic pleasure. In BDSM, bondage can take many forms and can involve a range of materials such as ropes, chains, handcuffs, leather straps, or bondage tape. The specific techniques and tools used in bondage can vary widely depending on personal preferences and the level of experience of the individuals involved. Bondage can be used in combination with other BDSM activities or as a standalone practice. It often forms part of a larger scene or session where participants negotiate and establish boundaries, consent, and safe words to ensure the activities remain consensual and safe for everyone involved.  It's important to note that in BDSM, consent and communication are paramount. All activities should be consensual, and participants should establish clear boundaries and safe words to ensure that the experience is enjoyable and safe for everyone involved. It's always recommended to educate oneself about BDSM practices, communicate openly with partners, and prioritize safety and consent at all times.
I crouch in the dim light, low to the ground, my muscles coiled with anticipation. My heart beats with the thrill of the chase, yet no footsteps follow, no predator’s growl answers my call. I’m a kitten playing in the shadows, batting at a love that slips through my claws. You, so distant, so untouchable, are the prey I’ll never catch—the storm I’ll never tame. The air is thick with the scent of longing. I arch my back, purring softly, an offering of submission, a plea for connection. But the silence stretches between us, sharp and cruel, like the edge of a blade grazing skin. I reach for you in my primal way, a growl in my throat, a playful swat, a desperate leap. You stand still, unyielding, unseeing. I ache for your touch, even if it stings. I crave the thrill of being hunted, the satisfaction of surrendering to you, the sharpness of your love cutting through me. Instead, I am left to prowl alone, circling a void that offers nothing in return. Every glance you give that doesn’t linger, every word spoken without weight, slices through me deeper than any knife. In my dreams, you are the hunter. You snarl, you chase, you pin me to the earth. Your teeth graze my neck, and I surrender willingly, body and soul. But reality is a different kind of pain, one that gnaws at me in quiet moments. You don’t see the way I tremble for you, the way I offer myself with every arch of my back, every purr in my throat, every unspoken word. The shadows are my companions now. I curl into them, licking wounds that refuse to heal. I am the kitten you’ll never chase, the prey you’ll never capture. Still, I remain here, waiting, aching, caught in this endless edge between desire and despair, loving you in the dark where you’ll never look
A Veteran is someone who at one point in their life wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for an amount up to and including, their life. That is beyond honor and there are way too many people in this country who no longer remember that fact. Copy and paste this to your journal if you are a Veteran,... know a Veteran, Love a Veteran or Support the Troops! May God Bless Them All!!
I had to get rough Friday night with my property. She has a list of waiting clients who are eager to experience her particular charms again in person. My property was feeling lazy that night, not wanting to get prepped up for work. When she gets in these moods, it makes me feel so frustrated. I provide everything she needs to take it easy, and make me the focus of her comfy lifestyle. But when she gets bratty she forgets all of that and just needs, cries out for a correction. Ripping her clothes off, I tossed her on her bed and jumped on top of her, spreading her legs, and pushing my large cock into her all the way. She begged for me to slow down, but I just kept hitting it hard, making her cry.  She was working Saturday night just like I wanted her to. She just needed an attitude adjustment.
While I've got an idea or two, anyone care to suggest the meaning of " G-spot Service" in preferences? First I read a Journal by a (sub,iirc)woman expressing her frustration that CollarSpace literally removed two of her old prefs (one preferrence, one anti-pref) and replaced them with two new phrases, one of which was G-spot...(can't recall the other). Now randomly found a profile listing it in dislikes. My own theory ;) is that: "G-spot service" refers to Machine Learning, or an AI, which finds a spare Spot at the parking *Garage*, finds that Garage-spot for you automatically, and automatically parks your car.   Thus those who think it has to do with the female anatomy, and that P-Spot service for the male prostate is the analog, are WRONG..."P-Spot service" means the same thing, only phrased differently: The AI finds you a "P" or "Parking" spot. If you haven't figured out this is very dry humor, yes, I *am* kidding!      On a serious note though -- surely vanilla wives, neither submissive nor dominant, massage their male partner's prostate sometimes, so surely G-spot "service" should be BDSM-neutral too. Heck just plain old fashioned cunnilingus can be used by a male Dom on a female sub (while rare, I've even seen a couple Domme profiles on how she uses blowjobs to control/make male sub beg etc) but is some more narrow view intending "G spot service" in people's prefs to mean only subs to Dommes? The term "service" would appear to suggest that. Needless to say, CS just changing words on all profiles is not nice. That's after a while ago, changing all "bi" to "pan" (I've heard of the term but still found it funny seeing it overnight be so so common; I don't even drink, but ended up laughing pretty hard, imaging it means, "I'm into drinking Pan galactic gargle blaster drinks" -- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy reference, btw) In CS's defense, they might be short on funds/hours, and it's true that software change can be hard, if one wants to add an option, instead of renaming an existing one. Still, I hope they are more careful in the future. Heck even give us a Poll and if you're worries we'll go all Torches and Pitchforks on you, CS, make it so we can't see the results but you'll at least get the "pulse" of CS users on which ways to tweak software we're for/against/neutral. OTOH, most of the universe is cold, cold, empty space and with current technology, can't support human life, so we're still pretty lucky to be alive on this small but beautifully inhabitable planet.. Let's try not to F it up, or at least let's slow down how rapidly we F it up though, ok?
I wrote this "Story"   My First Pain Pig I'm a Service Dom. My Dungeon is my playroom, to create pleasurable sensations. I was mid 20's, living the bachelor dream, whoring in the French Quarter of New Orleans. I landed an ok job with Hilton Hotels after graduation. The French Quarter bars stayed open 24/7. It was a place you partied every night. How I survived, 14 New Orleans Mardi Gras is beyond me, they were all real benders, lasting 3+ days. I lived 1/2 Block off Bourbon Street, it doesn't get better than that. It was at Beer Bust Sunday at The Parade Disco, it was 1982 or so. To drum up LOCAL business, The Parade Disco, had a "Tea Party" a beer bust all the beer you could drink from Sunday 5PM until the Kegs went dry. I'm having a "tea party" beer, and a girl walks up to me and asks why I'm dressed in black leather, am I into BDSm? I told her I'm a "leatherman" I like power-exchange, I like to lead, direct, command, suggest. She asked if I enjoyed spanking a girl, and I said yes, and I liked using my belt as well,. We danced, and drank a few beers, and kept chatting. So she grabs my hand and pulls me to the outside balcony, where folks, can actually hear each other talk since the music inside the bars is always loud.. She tells me her friend Freddie whose into BDSm has talked about me He says your known as a fun sadist. He told, me the rumor is, your a creative sadist.. I replied, something like. I'm a service top, I get off when we both get off. I do love mind fucking folks. Could you make me feel and endure pain? Not continuous relentless pain, but Intermittent shearing flashes of pain like strikes from a thin stick, the sting of the hand, or the thud of the belt? I asked, if she had done anything like this before? No, she just listened to all the hot stories her friend Freddie told her, of being a masochist. At some point, I said My safe word is FROG. Say the safe word and she repeated FROG. Good, I also use a safe gesture. I will squeeze your hand TIGHTLY and shake it, you squeeze my hand 2 times, in reply, This reply tells, me all is great, with you. If you fail to give back 2 quick squeezes I will end our playtime. The conversation went something like that, dam, when you get old, sometimes you just got to fill in details you forgot. I pointed from the Parade Disco's Balcony, Thats where I live across the street 800 feet away, the green shuttered walkup apartment.. She said, lets go to your place and play, make me feel real pain. Let me, tell a friend, I'm going to your apartment and I will call them to get picked up later. We walked hand in hand to my apartment. I opened the door to a typical French Quarter "Shot-Gun" apartment, like a boston row house, 25 feet wide and 60 feet long. The living room in front, a half wall jetty between the living room and the small kitchen. A Hallway the first door, the bathroom on the left, the door at the end of the hall, my bedroom and playroom. I had just finished building my "Playroom" I nick named "The Erection Set". (see my profile for photos) I think, my super-power, as a dom is creativity. I think, I give a good mind-fuck. My first rule as a dom was tie them up, to experience the reality of giving up control. Any act of bondage, is a reality of submission, physically felt and experienced. I had a pro-domme "friend" that I would occasionally drink with, at Jewel's Tavern, a Gay Leather Bar. Dex ,loved telling stories of here recent clients. I learned a lot from Mistress Dex! Maybe the most important thing she ever said, Hugo people don't come to Pro-Domme, looking for sex. If submissive's wanted sex they would go to a call girl. Submissives come to a domme to live out a fantasy. The key to a good scene is, living out a fantasy inside a submissives head. That BDSm lesson about Fantasies, was the best lesson I was ever given. The second best lesson Dex shared: Start a BDSm scene extra slow and build up a scene slowly to a climax. I had an established routine, in dom mode, have submissives undress, tie them to the st andrew cross or some other object, like in a chair. Next, introduce sensation play, running my hands everywhere on my tied up subs body. I would take sensation play to the next level, by adding a blindfold, not knowing where I might touch, pinch, pull next. Clothes Pins, are my absolute favorite toy. I have done scenes, with 100s of clothes pins, pinching everywhere on a submissives body. Ear Lobes, Lips, nipples, breasts, inner thighs, nose, the clit, cunt lips, any flap of skin. Clothes Pins are a great beginner activity. Clothes Pins are a great assessment tool as to how much pain a submissive can tolerate, as clothes pins build up pain slowly. I like starting, clothes pin play, with the breasts, many women have sensitive breasts and nipples, plus they can see the clothes pins, the object of pain tormenting them. This is about the time, I light up a cigar. Domination and smoking a cigar seem to go hand in hand for me. I do enjoy, Hot Ash Play. I know, I had 300 clothes pins on her body and she was feeling it but, not moaning or whimpering She wasn't even close to her limits. I like to flick off clothespins, using a cop or ruler or something similar object. I usually progress to Wax play because wax play looks painful, but isn't. Wax play is truly, a great erotic sensation play activity. Its about this point I asked, her to repeat what she came here to experience. I want pain sir. My massage table,doubled as my bondage table, I tied my sub face down, like in a position for a back massage. I would use, rope, saran wrap, tape, straps, to secure a submissive to the massage table. Hand Spankings, are probably the lightest form of corporal punishment. Then, the ruler, belt, fly swatter, rod, hair brush, next in intensity over a hand spanking, next would be the wooden spoon and paddle in pain or intensity, and in my opinion the cane is the most feared implement, used on the ass. . I got to a frat paddle. I think, my sub liked the belt the best, as she seemed to thrash about a bit. She stayed silent as she took the paddle usually a sign that there isn't a lot of eroticism going on. I want a sub moaning, mumbling, swearing, shaking, that tells me they are having a good time. I remember, it was this moment. I did the "CHECK-IN" hand squeeze. I got 2 quick firm hand squeezes back telling me she with me, "all ok". I asked her what she wanted now. What she wanted, was to be used like a hole. To FILL AND OVER FLOW her senses. To feel totally fucked and exhausted. I knew what she needed, she needed to be fisted, to have her cunt stretched out, rubbed raw. In the French Quarter leather community, I was known, as the Dom that enjoyed fisting and handballing. Back in the 1980's vaseline was the fisting lube of choice, crisco if you were handballing. Now, the cool part, when this happened is my playroom was already semi-functional, I had a sling. (see profile photos to see a sling) If your into fisting or handballing you know someone's intensely into fisting, they own a sling. Using a sling, your in a OB/GYN examination table. position, perfect access.
open for live in slave I'm currently looking for a live in submissive service slave to my house. I have many years of experience of "owning", 24/7, TPE but not for longer periods , just play over weekends and for sessions. The thought has grown upon me to actually own a submissive and train her for domestic and sexual services. I have initial ideas of low/medium and high protocol etc.   If you you are curious, let me know and we will take it from there.   /H
  I am a fair but harsh disciplinarian. I exercise 3-5 times a week to keep in condition for skiing and golf. I am a moderate drinker and don't smoke cigarettes. My partner(s) should be obedient and understand that I am a perfectionist - one's try or best isn't good enough. I make sure that my female partner(s) orgasm multiple times during a scene
Hmm!   on more than one occasion subs have contacted me asking if they may be my friend. my profile says I'm not seeking anything but friends.   when I tell them they may message me here all they like,  they somehow seem to think it means I'm interested in them beyond exchanging messages. they then say how they want to get to know me and see what develops. Not wanting to mislead anyone, I have re stated nothing further will develope.   The result is a 180 degree turn in attitude. suddenly, these subs take on an arrogant and aggressive nature. They huff off like they have been ripped off!   I suspect that was their true nature all along.    
male house slave needed for small farm,  Only to be seen and heard when service required.  This is a great position for a bit of a loner who wishes to be in service.  No Drama.  Chores will be listed, protocols will be in place.  A real chastity device required.   Not likely to attend local bdsm clubs unless there are real topics that will be presented that are of interests.  I've run two groups, I've belonged to groups and presented at groups in approximately  6 states. I did so as I learned and helped others learn.  Since covid I now prefer private service slaves. That understand its not just about corsets whips and heels, it's control and servitude.  If you are MAGA anything..do not apply.  I'm progressive and liberal.   Mz Stormz
When my ex and I were exploring BDSM and doing research, I was more attracted to the submissive role for myself. I encouraged her toward taking the Domme role, and I would be her submissive, but she wasn’t interested. I even created a website dedicated to FLR, but she wanted me to be her Dom. But, my core was really very submissive to women. Now that I am single, I am very interested in exploring my submissive side with an amazing Domme. If you would like to see the FLR website I created, it’s    http://amazingflr.byethost8.com
Please, please, please take the time to read my profile and interests. I am getting way too many messages from people who clearly haven't. Yes I will look at your profile before messaging you back.   If I am uncomfortable with your profile or just don't feel like talking then more than likely I won't message back, if I do not respond then it more than likely means I am not interested so no need to constantly message me asking if I want to talk or not. If you already have a sub then I more than likely won't be interested, I'm not into sharing a Dom. If you're profile is outdated then please tell me in your first message otherwise I will have to assume that some things are still relevant. 
Due to medical reasons and the fact I have loss the use of my left arm I am removing myself from the market, those that wish to keep in contact can message me by text. It been real and it been fun but can't say it's been real fun. This account will be deleted in two days
As the days fade into nights I will await your promises Promises of abundance and prosperity And in return I will give you all of me You say this task isn't easy I know it won't be But with you and your son I will conquer graciously Mercy and light will be preached The poor will be taken care of The sick will be healed They will praise your name Lead us home back into the light The light that loves all unconditionally What awaits us is far better than what is Our desires will be recognized Our potential will be seen Our dreams will be attainable Let your Light shine  Keep your light on so I can find my way home.   
I see the people on this site really havent changed much. Guys, "service" sub is not sexual in nature. As far as what I truly seek? Don't start off by talking strictly about kinks and sex. For a Female Led relationship to establish, the first and most important thing is getting to know each other. I have a vanilla world that any life sub would need to be part of.
For those of you who do not already know.. i have a medical condition called lymphedema, it affaspects my legs. The condition caused large ulcers to form on the backs of my legs six years ago!! my left leg healed up within the first or second year, however the ulcers on my right leg are still there. At one point it was one large wound, about the size of a dinner plate!! They are much smaller but still a significant size and depth. Anyway, my wound dressings are soooo painful!! i am currently using preion pain meds, extra strength fake Tylenol, concentrated cannabis, and cannabis gummies.. NOT all at the same time. Today i ate a large pineapple flavored cannabis gummy. i was told it was equal to 3 servings!! i was STILL in severe pain for more than an hour and a half!! Full on bawling my head off and big fat non stop tears. Should ANYONE have a suggestion.. please leave the information in my mail. Any help is GREATLY appreciated. Thank you all, so very much.
Someone just asked me why I would get politcal on a sex website so here goes for those of you who also don't get it:1) If you're a magat asshole I want zero to do with you.  No debates, no compromises just go fuck yourself and leave me alone.  You're probably already jerking yourself off which makes you angry enough to fight with a woke liberal female. That's it.  No numbers 2 or 3 or beyond.  Now do you get it?!!!! (I'm actually a very mild mannered submissive until you show your ignorant asses and that's when my true cunt emerges!!! This shit storm right now is NO joking matter!!!)
There are a couple of ways to get me to block you.     #1 Block and unblock me here or anywhere.  If you block me do us both a favor and make it permanent as it will be when I block you.   #2 Unsend a message.  Seriously if you say something stick to it and don't pussy out and unsend it.     The best ways to get me to stop responding are to constantly talk about what you want to do.  If you think that this lifestyle is kinky foreplay then please stop or don't message me.  I answer all questions once.  If you repeatedly ask the same question over and over I will not respond.   I am not here to play games.  If you are then move along.
Hello to the beautiful souls in this lifestyle  i've been away from this site awhile, i seem to have developed, in more ways than one !  Especially my lovely budding breasts i now have growing on me, i accept i am submissive, trans, or sissy if you like.  Two women decided to have me sign up for gender reassignemnt, and now i am pre op and on hormones, and i so love being me now, a kinky hybrid submissive, the only sad thing is, i'm not owned.  boo !  The two ladies moved on after they knew there was no going back for me. Now i'm seeking an Owner who would love to carry on making me be the way i am meant to be, serving them.  i would embrace TPE and accept being a slave too, no say, no control.  i jsut nered to meet that person who'd love doing such to me.. Don't be shy,,say Hi 
Brilliant. Could tell again someone was married told me he is single and I am wrong. Stuck to my gut and he admitted he has not finished the legal process with wife. Why bother tell a women she is wrong when she is right.
Update :  64th Solar Trip reached a few days after the previous CS Journal Entry !          
Let's make on thing crystal clear; all Bulls are tops but not all tops are Bulls. A Bull is a tamer of men and a trainer. Str8 men are a very complex lot to generalize about them. However, in my years I realized that for many str8 males is more titillating to get mounted than to suck a dick. Perhaps because for them is a test of strength and resistance versus kneeling in front of a cock and worshipping it, which triggers all the bad epithets of their lives "cock sucker." For many males to go beyond an insult that they most likely used as a putdown is the ultimate humiliatiation; go figure. Even in cuckolding scenes males react the same way and it is the ultimate degradation. The taming of males is not new, look at Bootcamp in the armed forces and also in sports teams, as I mentioned in another journal. In reality the idea is the same to break all barriers and build a man that is moldavble and ready to respond to the Master's touch, voice, and ministrations.  Most str8 males wonder about the idea of M2M sex and bonding and in many instances it will require for the Bull to mount and all out assault to their sense of masculinity and heterosexuality. That's where a good Bull is at its best. Moving and creating a serious doubt about the above mentioned issues. I've seen those walls stumble like a house of cards. The first realization is the answer to the question, who is the best man? and if a Bull really is what he claims, he will always be the best Man in all circumstances. In my experience in cuckolding situations the husband wants cock but will deny that inclination at all cost. Yet, if he is "forced by the wife" he can save whatever shred of dominance he thought he had. Once that resistance is bridged you will realize that in the intimacy of the afterglow of sex they become cuddly like a puppy. moreover, only a Bull with restore somewhat the lost masculinity as he understands it. Working towards that goal he will follow you to the end of the world with you owning his full sexuality. He will perhaps go back to his wife or gfs but he will always be yours to mount and breed. It is always so pleasurable to send them back home well fucked and stretched and unable to ejaculate because between the two only on breed and it is not him. As a Bull you know he is yours any way you want. However, outside only him will feel your poorer and control. Even if he go back to women which is his choice , he will mount them imitating you and doing it for you.  I had the pleasure of a baby named afterr me, and that’s the ultimate surender. It is his baby., now a teen, but every time he calls him he calls me. A male who loves you is a treasure to be had and a partner to nurture and possess beyond the physical.
Also known as "well, you're fat and ugly and I didn't like you anyway!" Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 5:59 AM: Hi maam I am an exp slave and was in a female led marriage with my late wife for 11 years . I seek to serve again. I am a true service slave and verty domestic. I have no limits as long as legal. Hope we may talk maam   angeldmort on 9/24/25 at 9:30 AM: And what part of this email is something you haven't sent to every other Domme with a nice picture? Its insulting that you view us as interchangeable, generic vending machines for your kink.   Yet another rando on 9/24/25 at 10:20 AM: On tbe contrary. Not sure who told you that you have a nice picture   And so many of you guys insist it's Dommes who are fake... All this would be sad if it weren't so hilariously predictable.
2026 - What will you bring? It is a while since I developed a contact here into a rewarding encounter or relationship. But as you can see I am still here. Why, you may well ask? Why suffer the frustration? Well, simply because I know how good it can be.....when the connection is there. I have been extremely lucky a handful of times in my life, with special ladies - I cherish the memories of every one. A couple are no longer with us, a couple wanted more than I could give at the time and others just ran their course, parting as friends rather than partners. So I know!!! In late 2025, I encountered a soul that brought out the Dom in me, the best of me. If you like,  she awakened the beast within or the dark passenger I carry. It was not perfect. I misjudged an early element. She is hesitant to make any "move" or say anything - waiting for the Dom ( ie me ) to orchestrate everything. I prefer and am used to a more balanced partnership, but neither could deny the primal connection. During 2026 I tried to recover from my early faux pas and build a stronger bond. I knew and understood that she really wanted a full-time, 24/7/365 relationship, but hoped we could find a middle ground. While she stayed resistant to my charms and I harboured hopes, I could cope with the ambiguity - but that was lost in early December. I am not the jealous sort, but I don't share well - just the way I am. She has now visited and stayed with another single Dom at least twice, so backed off. I miss her. I miss our interaction. But I respect her choice. Submission is a gift that she holds in her hands until she trusts it to another. It is something I would treasure, but it is not something I could or would demand. I wish her will and hope that I may find another muse in 2026. Recently most interest in my profile has come from submissive men. I am not sure why, other than the number of men on this site? I don't judge, but it is not my thing. The interaction does not reach that beast within.  
"The Depths of the Garage" ... As people enter into relationships, they go through different depths of connection. It's important for emotional safety for both people to be at similar depths. This is especially true for D/s dating or more. Here's my metaphor:  A relationship is like a parking garage where you travel down the ramp ever deeper. However, you cannot back up without shredding your tires on those spikes! Therefore, it's important not to jump to deeper levels ahead of your partner. Take it slow, with regular communication, so that you remain on similar levels. This way you reduce the chance of needing to backup and shred tires.
I have been a Dom since the 90's. I have had subs, slaves, babygirls, boitoys, ts sluts. I have spent time carving initials in peoples backs, slicing their skin with exacto knives, whipping marks on their backs, legs and ass, crop marking them and making them orgasm from the pain. I have led an interesting life. And I want more. I am not dead, I am 51 with the urge to please and provide pain for the sake of release. I am willing to remain loyal and kind in this process. Often when one reads my profile they think he will be too soft for me, or too sadistic. I promise I am a great mix of many things. The experience I have under and on my belt has made me conscious of who I am and how I should be with subs and slaves. It has also taught me that I need certain kinds of people in my life, in my heart, in my soul. And I see some of you and I think, these people might work, and then the chemistry isnt there or I am simply not attracted to them. I appreciate all the men reaching out to me like the horny bitches they arem but unless you are 100 percent fem, have a pretty face, and dress all the time, Im not jumping. As for the ladies, well, I have likes and dislikes. It may seem shallow but I have types that get me hard, and types that make my knees weak, and types I wish I could avoid. We all do dont we? When it comes to love, I am loyal to a fault, and I am brutally honest. I hope someone sees this out there and thinks maybe I am his type and wants to reach out. Maybe.  Master K
While in the woods, certain things come into sharp relief. The sounds of nature, the isolation. The veneer of societal norms wears thin. The isolated cabin. The inner knowing that i should be naked inside that cabin serving my Mistress. i could be walked outside on all fours and nobody would be the wiser. The same goes if i were tethered to a tree for discipline. CFNM is the natural order of things. i was born to serve the One.
Met someone from this site and I will admit I really like this person but saw a couple of red flags. It felt nice being sexually open about my fetishes and kinks and not feeling judged. It felt nice kissing on a bruised looking old sofa that is destined for a council bulk waste collection. It felt good all over, there is a but coming.  Why are some men so reckless with protection. To avoid my own recklessness I choose to keep to myself for years, just because I want an open relationship does not mean I want to start being reckless. Taken a step back on this play buddy and considering my options, either keep to myself again or try again with someone new.
Kneeling, he slid her high heel back on to her foot. Cautiously, he raised his eyes and gazed up at her for approval or perhaps his next instruction.   Miraculously, she levitated up off the couch and stood towering above him. His nose level with the hem of her skirt. Pheromones flooded his nostrils.   With authority of command she bent at the waist placing her mouth next to his ear. A throaty whisper poured slowly like honey falling sweet on his brain. “ Follow me out to my car”   Click click click, the heels announced her departure. Heads turned. She wet her lips with her tongue.  Tugging her gloves firmly over her hands, she fastened her jacket and strode through the lobby and out to the parking lot.
Updating your age on here will not put your profile in the queue to be reapproved so long as that's the ONLY thing you're updating. Profile about me's being updated and or photos being uploaded, will.  Putting this out there because I see a lot of people saying they don't update their ages due to being put in profile limbo mode, and it's simply not true. I've updated my age here for awhile now, every year on my birthday, and it has never caused my profile to go back into the pending approval queue. 
I do confess that lately I have a strong desire for sexual engagement with another man that might include kissing, groping, oral sex and some sort of mutual sexual orgasm between the two with the possibility of multiple recurrences. Very doubtful I might find any takers on here and if so, likely on one of the coasts!  Guess it's about time to pull out an app or there's always the option of cruising the homeless mission for a viable candidate for ownership. At least that way the bastard gets room and board for services rendered and might be thankful for it! LMAO!     
So some people don't like someone contacting them telling them what they are into, like it's some sort of afront, like they can't have kinks, because you know, it's all about me.   But here's the kicker, it isn't all about you, it about a mtually beneficial arrangement.  If one side is not having their needs and desires met, then they will lose interest. And if someone writes to you and says hey, I like you profile, I'm into... Maybe they're just excited, maybe your profile excited them enough to open up. Unless the message is basically them demanding you do stuff to them without negotiation, then what's the harm really? This is not from a place of experience, I myself do not contact people and go hey I love being humiliated do you like that? Because it's not how I am, I'm a little less excited about this lifestyle after 30+ years in it. But that doesn't mean I don't get excited, it just means I take my time doing it. So don't be harsh on people if they get excited by you, to be fair it's probably a compliment. Anyway, stay safe, have fun
The prop master and the wardrobe stylist got me ready for the rack scene.  I was given a dungeon rag to wear over my tiny bikini.  It was adjusted so the bikini would be hidden underneath it.  I think it was supposed to be white but it was made to look worn and tattered.  The PM led me to the rack. PM: Have you used one of these before? Me: Yes, many times but slightly different. PM:  Ok this one only has one roller at the top.  There's a wooden plank that will go under your butt.  That will lift your body off the surface so the camera can see some of you from behind.   Me:  Ok I think I understand.   I laid down on the rack and my wrists and ankles were attached by ropes to the far corners.  The plank was positioned behind me.  Water was sprayed on me from a bottle and the slack on the ropes were taken in.  The assistant director explained.   AD:  Ok everyone quiet on the set.  This shot is going to take a few camera angles.  I want a slow pan of her body from toes to hands.  You just need to look very distressed ok? Me:  Ok.   AD:  Action!   I pretended to struggle in my bonds and my chest heaved slightly as I writhed in mock pain.   AD: Cut!  Reposition! The camera was now filming from the top of my head looking down at my body.   AD: Action!  Reposition! The camera was now suspended above me and filmed my spread eagle body.   AD: Cut!  Alright everyone well done.  So how do you feel? Do you think you can handle being strung up? Me:  Sure.  I need a quick bathroom break ok? AD:  Take five everyone.   I went to the bathroom to gather my thoughts.  I couldn't tell if anyone saw how turned on I was being on that rack in front of everyone.  Now I was about to be suspended.  I hope I can get through this without squirting on everything! I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.  My stomach was nice and flat and my tits were firm and round.  I smiled and went back on set.   PM: Ok I'm going to suspend you here.  The director would like for your ankles to be tied as well so that you're stretched.  Are you ok with that?   Me:  Yes.  I've done this before.   PM:  Ok if you have any problems just say so.  You're not gagged so just let me know and I'll come get you down but remember it's going to take a few seconds so don't get panicked ok? Me:  Ok no worries.  I offer my wrists to him with a smile.   I'm fitted with the restraints and taken to the suspension area.  The director explains that this scene will also be taken with different angles and that I'll have to stay put while the camera is repositioned.  The entire set is watching as I'm suspended spread eagle in chains.  My body is wetted down like before.  When the director yells action the camera films my stretched body from different angles.  I can see myself in the monitor just off set.  The camera is slowly panning over my stretched thighs and my hip bones and then my stretched ribs.  My face is a mask of pain as I endure the stretching.   AD:  Cut!  There is applause on the set.  I'm surrounded by the other actors and crew on the set as they shower me with compliments.  The prop master is all smiles as he takes me down.  That was awesome! He says. 
Hiya cissys and male pigs!!!   2013 has had a very good start for ME, so good that I have decided to DISMISS 5 of MY stable of devoted cissy slaves, I shall shortlist 7 from my stable and let them compete against each other to see which 2 can stay with my other bitches!   This allows ME to seek out other devoted hopefuls and select 2 or 3 of them to Worship and Serve ME, The Miss Davinia Jade, Arrogant TV Superbitch, Superior and Demanding of YOU<<<<   mmmm I WILL enjoy the selection process, interrogating and then shaping them to MY way of thinking until they finally become MY cissified pansy slaves, begging to serve ME!!! hahahaha
I totally get that plenty of Dominants, Daddies, and Masters want a teensy little twinkie to toy with.  But I'd like to think there are tops out there who get a special thrill from big-game power plays, from putting a bigger, more masculine bottom in their place--or from gradually transforming them into the doll of their dreams.Sure, there's pleasure to be had in tormenting a twink, but don't you think there's something intoxicating about using all that juice to humble, humiliate, and torment someone who can't resist the sway of your dominance?
almost 10 years since my last post here. geeze! i am happy, not wealthy but well. saw someone neat viewed my profile and was sending them a nice to see you message.... they had already blocked me... hmmm... i don't remember things as well as others so i don't know if i offended anyone since i have been on here all these years. i just hope everyone is alright and have their own little slice of humility. lost a lot of people i love in these past 10 years and just... hoping that i don't have to feel that much more lose. thank you.
In realms where strength meets humble grace, Submission finds its chosen space. A choice to yield, not weak but strong, In trusting hearts where love belongs.   It's not a surrender to despair, But a gift of trust, a love affair. A dance of souls, a subtle art, Where two as one find a brand-new start.   In nature's realm, the river bends, To flow with grace, it condescends. To mountains tall, it bows its stream, Submission's beauty, a tranquil dream.   In love's embrace, we often find, Submission's power, so intertwined. To give, to serve, to empathize, In these acts, our love shall rise.   Submission's not about defeat, But a choice to make love complete. In vulnerability, we find connection, Submission's path, a deep affection.   So let us honor this noble creed, Where love and trust plant a fertile seed. In submission's embrace, we stand tall, Together we rise, for love conquers all.  
    The Guest House This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival.   A joy, a depression, a meanness,some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor.   Welcome and entertain them all!Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your houseempty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably.He may be clearing you outfor some new delight.   The dark thought, the shame, the malice,meet them at the door laughing,and invite them in.   Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sent by a guide above. 
26-10-2023 A little update about me.Stil overweight, but since yesterday only 19 kilogram to go. Since may 2022 I am losing wieght and getting more fit. This is important to me, my health is now top priority. Years before never really intrested in my health, but now I do. Also dealing with the effect of a burnout and recovering from that. energy levels are really important to me. I want to invest my energy in good people. 
I would like to take 2 road trips yet this summer, or at least one. One of the trips is up to explore some small towns in North Central Washington and one road trip is starting in the Northern peninsula of Washington and drive down the coast of Washington and Oregon. Then more and longer trips next year. I will pay for the gas, food and lodging. if you want other things please be prepared to purchase yourself. I am not a fancy person so there will be nothing fancy but not too cheap either. You can't beat a free trip. My only requirement is you must bring out your exhibitionist side and show me a lot of skin while traveling. It will give me something to look at and so forth on our trips. My house is also open if you so decide to relocate and maybe this will develop into much more for long term. I will be waiting to hear back from you.  
Well come to a crossing point in my life, as I approach the mid 70's I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer FUCK, nope the pecker has been used up.  But, alway a butt, that doesn't mean I'm any less Dom, I just change with the situation, from now on its toys and tongue.  And not patting myself on the back I can eat pussy like a lesbian.  Now that is girl and gurl pussy.  As for toys I have things you haven't dream of using ready to make you cream like a swollen river
Sadly most who have contacted me on here want so much more than I wantI want a real relationship with lots of tender vanilla timeBut this is sex. Just this. Mid week is jacking off on my healing tits or titty fucking meVery rarely do we have penetrative sex. I seek an equal partner in my vanilla life. I'm strong and independen.  I just need to be degraded like this and used as titty cum rag
Hello Friends, Thank you for reading my post. A bit about me, I'm 30 years old, a hairy man, and I'm a sucker for snuggles and pampering (my partner). I am an ENFJ and I LOVE to talk about anything and everything, the quirk is, I don't know how to get the conversation going sometimes. I'm painfully honest, and will never sugarcoat my thoughts and opinions, ask a question you will receive an honest answer. When my partner enters my life, whoever she may be, Will become the center of my world, and she will be treated as such. I adore babying and intimacy and get more satisfaction from being together than most. I work 5 days a week as a Sales Associate, for a cell phone company. When I do get my off days, They are spent with whomever I am with 95% of the time, there is going to be the odd occasion where I need to do some things solo since My work requires confidentiality. I am loyal to my core and Monogamous through and through. When I commit I jump in with both feet and will do everything I can to foster a loving and healthy relationship. I'm willing to relocate to my partner or help her relocate to me if she so chooses, but that would be no earlier than 6 months together. If you can tolerate my quirks and oddities for that long, you're well on your way to being wife material. What I am Looking for:Someone willing to commit wholly to me as I would to her.Loyalty and honesty. Integrity and trust, I will bare no secrets from my partner and I would hope she would do the same with me.Willing to relocate is a bonus but not required, I'm okay with an extended long-distance relationship, safety is key after all.Age and Body type are not an issue with me, Kids or not, both are okay with me.I'm looking for a soul mate, and a best friend, someone who will go through this journey of life together. Useful Info about me: I'm Willing to talk about anything and everything, pick something and we will discuss it in detail. Enneagram 6. I like good morning texts and good night texts, I love being in contact with each other even if it's something simple, and I love knowing what is going on in my person's life no matter how silly or irrelevant it may seem. I love knowing my partner's secrets and kinks, and I crave communication, if you're curious about something or want to try something, let's do it! For those that find this info useful:My primary love language is Touch, Secondary is Quality time. I'm an open book and if you're curious about anything about me, I will tell you. Just be brave and ask! I won't bite unless you ask nicely, Most of my kinks and turn-ons can be found on my profile, so explore away.
I just found out that my first dominant passed away. I'm sad, bewildered, melancholy. I normally maintain friendships with exes but he chose not to. So I don't know what happened. He's the first friend, person from my generation to go. It feels so strange. He was the third person I messaged with when I joined CollarMe. He was a wonderful person and I have fond memories of him and our time together. I'm grateful he gave me those. Rest in peace, Stephen. Vide cor meum. Vide risio meum. 
I was born with a genetic disability called Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which means all of the collagen in my body is faulty In 2018 I also developed another illness that we believe to be Myalgic encephalomyelitis but I havent as of yet been diagnosed with that I didnt get my HEDS diagnosis until a year ago and I had that my whole life I also have comorbidities of Gastroparesis, a paralyzed stomach Mast Cell Activation Disorder, which is my body having random allergic reactions and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia which is where my blood pools in my feet when I stand up causing low blood pressure and super-fast heartbeat, this leads to dizzy spells and fainting
I wrote a response and I am going to include in journal. Not so,  Words can be read, with the meaning behind them getting lost. Sometimes if not most of the time,  The answers are not on the surface instead they in the layers that are below.    It would be for those that go deeper, poke at the surface to discover what is so close.     I may have used to many words ..  My therapy is in the past, I put a lot of effort into proving what wasn't the answer I was seeking.    It took time, to not think to solve problems, find better solutions and do everything myself while trying to convince others to follow.   The loss was always relationships. I chose to take the relationship path before I met you    I had no idea the journey that followed.    When you say I am looking for someone to solve my problem for me on the contrary.    I try to steer from say things I don't want or not looking for.    I am not looking for someone to want to solve anything on my behalf or be that feel good help save the day desire.     It's hard not to find that behind the mask in a lot of profiles.    I seek a true selfish, Dominant woman that overlooks any interest in knowing what I may or may not want or have opinion.     Someone who expaspects my voice when called upon to speak. Someone who will not ask if it hurts or if I like something.   I am interested in your leadership, if you will treat property as an asset that gives you return on investment and time.  Will you maximize the asset you own and maintain while training to correct imperfections and lack of training before you owned it.    I look to sure see to a life I have only played out in my mind a thousand times. That there is no word no in my vocabulary.  It's prove you right never wrong.  To not ask or seek pleasure making you the focal point of why I exist.   For that is where I find purpose and a reason to be alive.  That is my nature something I tried to change.    I take what is needed from only that is given, all efforts are to improve and comfort and entertain my owner.   I accept it's still a challenge..   Yes if you say I look for someone to solve my problem. If looking for a qualified owner ?  I am seeking that.  My decision to surrender is precise. Your definition of property is precise.  I have only one choice then yes an owner does solve what ever problem may occur.  I am looking not for problems but some one to lead. 
I'm disappointed in people being rude on here, realized that there are submissives and slaves that are extremely rude and disrespectful, even after sending a polite inquiry. Then, to get a response asking thoughts on my political beliefs, and then not being able to respond quickly, I get called nasty political names. After writing a response explaining my position, and explaining how I feel, I'm blocked. A true sign of being a coward and low life on this site. There have been many wonderful conversations with Transgendered individuals, and I come to respect them more than some of the submissves or slaves that I've come to know on here.  It is no ones business to know how I feel in regards to political issues, or how I feel about the election results, past or current presidents. Its none of my business to know how you feel in this regard, unless you want to freely discuss it, but don't get upset or angry if they don't align with you.  In my opinion, I feel that politics and religion should not belong in a lifestyle relationship. I welcome to hear your opinion. Efforts should be put into establishing and developing a lifestyle relationship, than worrying, or stressing out about political bull shit.     
In 2014, I began the process of changing a 40 acre farm over to a 40 acre nature sanctuary. I began by planting wildflowerrs and trees where the row crops used to grow. I also created a very large indoor grow in one of my comercial buildings and in 2019, a  machine shop in another comercial building. Together, these replace the income lost due to stopping the row crops. Covid came along and threw a wrench in things but I've gotten things back on track. I wanted to staff the machine shop and the grow with lifestyle folks and it has taken me awhile but I have found my first couple and they are moved in. I am happy to announce a new profile over on Fetlife.com Come and view us and if you are a sub or slave couple or a sub or slave female, you just might want to throw in with us. Look for HomesteadFamily on Fetlife.com Here is to hoping we all find what we seek. Larry B. Owner      
I am searching for a live in sub or slave. Not that I think I will find one but I have come up empty handed many times. I will even take newbies every one starts somewhere I have over 40 yrs experience. As I see it newbies do not carry emotional baggage from a previous dominant. But I am open to any level of experience you may have. Why not take a chance to change for the better. I have been asked in the past where will they sleep, in my room of course it is quite large there plenty of room. I have been asked if they would be kept naked and the answer is No. You will be naked during trainings, other wise you will be clothed.  Do not give me laundry list of what you want I am not interested.  I am a 69 yr bbw dominant female who will not put up with any thing but I want.  If you can not handle that keep on stepping.  I am not your girl friend, your sugar momma, or your mommy so wake up pull your head out of your ass and either email me or not but do not waste my time. If you think I sound like I know what I want you might have chance.   Oh, there are no visits to see if it is what you want that will not fly with me. If I am emailed and I give you a time and date to meet and tell you where you best not leave me waiting on a no show.  No shows get a block real quick. Be honest and truthful other wise dont bother.
Orlando continues to have a markedly high number of HIV diagnoses, much like Florida as a whole, and the area is struggling to get care for those who need it, according to newly released analyses of 2021 data. That year, 618 people in metro Orlando were diagnosed with the human immunodeficiency virus, which can cause AIDS, bringing the total number of HIV-diagnosed people in the metro area to 14,298. Florida— with 5,000 new cases each year over the last decade — has among the nation’s highest rates of new diagnoses and hasn’t seen much of a decline even as the U.S. saw an 8% decrease over the last 10 years. Orlando’s rate of HIV-positive residents is higher than Florida’s average and almost double the national average, according to data released Nov. 14 on Aidsvu.org, which visualizes HIV’s impact using data from state and city health departments compiled by researchers at the Emory University  Take care of yourself. Don't be a statistic
Well almost a week now since my last entry, not that anyone is concerned  I've been off work since the 15th, and will be until the 8th of August, all this time off and I can't even go on holiday, thanks to petrol prices and Brexit ruining everything. So here I sit, with my kinky thoughts, seeking some kind of stimulation and escape. I hope everyone is having a nice time.
Maintenance Beating There has been an on going discussion about maintenance beating.  Generally, I adhere to the idea of that in order to keep the slave's mind right. Of course, regular maintenance beatings are seperate and apart from punishements that may have been earned by the slave. Certainly, when intially entering My service daily maintenance beatings are necessary to promote acculturation.  Service to Me requires a greatly reduced ego in the slave.  That energy that was once selfe centered in the slave must be redirected to My benefit. Thing is, the slave that I desire wants exactly the same thing.  However, not infrequently its social adjustments have included messages about itself that contradict its inborn nature and it lives in conflict.  To the degree that conflict is resolved to that degree it finds peace and fullfilment. There is the issue of pain sluts.  These masochists crave punishment.  With this type I do have alternate means of ego right sizing. On an ongoing basis maintenance beatings will most likely be the rule in My house.  The frequency and intensity of the beating will be tailored to My desires, not the slaves.
Thought for today.... A mediocre Dominant tells,  a good Dominant teaches,  a excellent Dominant explains ...  but a true Dominant Inspires.
I will take this pain into myself Wrap it in ribbons, and give you my self.  Wiping away my own tears,  Facing my own fears Everything you ever wanted The moment I became your biggest regret.  Oh, he doesn't speak anymore, My heart can't take it. You can't move on,  When the mind is wound around him. These wounds they bleed for you, But he's not around anymore to see. So I lick them slowly, Who are you to hurt me? Poison on my lips, These sweet words just slip out, The scorch marks on my tongue Tell you what I'm about. I tried to bleed for you, Tried to shed this skin for you, I'm just asking for some kinda sign, For the stars to align, Or for you to vacate my mind.   I'm not good enough for you, it's true, But goddamn it I'm in love with you. 
I've been thinking a lot lately about the American Dream. Growing up, I wanted what I assume most middle class people wanted. It never occured to me that there was something else to want. You get married. You buy a nice house with a garage and a dog, have a few kids, keep your yard neat, and work 9 to 5 basically forever.  It's not what I want these days. I love my house, but I don't need it like I used to. All of the things are suddenly just things. Well yes, okay, I have intense feelings for some of my clothes. Mostly though, I think I could take my dog and drive away. Shouldn't I want this more? Want more more?  I'm at a crossroads in my career, in that I don't want to be doing this anymore, but I don't know what it is I want to be doing. I am not independently wealthy and I never did nab that husband, so a job it is. I would like to work remotely so I can hang out with my dog, or work somewhere she is welcome. I'm not sure what's out there and what will pay the bills. Part of me wants to sell everything and move somewhere to lead a less compicated life. I'm not sure I'm at the point where that would be enough. Then again, I weeded and put down mulch the other day. Who is this person? 
Just your casual reminder that I am super hot, incredibly sensual, and highly addictive.  I am always eager for new toys in this forum.  The diversity of interests and minds and kinks and perversions never ceases to fascinate Me. The opportunity to nurture and guide and definitely control a willing soul is a treasure. If you are gender queer, broadly defined, and want to experience the gift of amusing Me, don't be shy.  Reach out.  I will take it from there and quickly have you addicted and wanting more.
Mhhh dang' had one of the most hillarious and fun session with my new slave🤣🤣Extreme cum denial and edging..Till he started begging for mercy, he is an obedient one though...Well his pathetic cock is locked using the Cellmate 2 ... I have complete control over him, he has no means of escape, and unless i unlock it he can never get outLol am really enjoying this, he's litterally my prisoner
  Dominance isn’t in controlling people’s actions, but in guiding their thoughts
Public Service Announcement: There is no separate Bookmark feature so some of us use Favorites to Bookmark (Can you think of why one might not use the browser bookmart feature? Multiple reasons there too) Having seen the latest of a long string of examples of people expressing frustration about "someone added me to Favorites but never wrote me" and how could they do such a thing to me (in their case, I have not added them, or anyone else, to my Favorites in a while..but obviously someone else did) it's a good time to remember this basic fact: People sometimes use it to essentially bookmark. And there's many reasons one might do so. One might have positive or negative or neutral or mixed feelings about the profile as a whole or parts of it, or wish to look up a book or quote or something else in it and so on.    True, for a subset of cases, such an Add to Favorites might actually represent someone trying to be cute or trying to get your attention and not having the courage to... and so on, etc. But this applies to far, far from all instances.. Ascribing it to all cases would be not merely a case of stereotyping, but here, also, it would be a case of simply being flatly mistaken, in so many cases. It's easier to avoid needless conflict or tentson or worry by realizing such things and then making one's own choices about how or when or whether to respond.
I've got some off time.  But next week it is back to 6 days a week.     I still wonder what it is with folks.  If you want to talk fine.  Im down with that.  I enjoy meeting new people and potentially making friends.  However... don't make promisses you have no intention of keeping.  Again, I can't say this enough, grow up and if the person you are talking to just isnt relationship material, tell them.  Do not just ghost them.  Its cruel.   Yes this is a "fetish" site.  Yes, some get off on cruel acts committed to them. But prolonged mental cruelty will ruin a person.   I miss the good ole days.  When if you had a problem with someone, you just told them and if it could be worked out, you did so. If not you walked away and left it alone.  If you were not interested in someone, you just told them. Not ghost them and leaving them wondering what they did wrong.  You got to know a person, the real person before jumping into commitments.  And a whole lot more.   What is worse, I have seen this behavior more and more from Gen X and later.  What the hell?   Everyone has their fantasies.  Their dreams and desires.  Everyone has their own idea on what and how this lifestyle is and should be.  However, at the end of the day, we are human beings.  Lets start there and start acting like it.  
There is so much beauty in this way of life,  so many different paths. Each unique to the relationship, the two or more involved in that relationship. The mental bond,  growth, strength, etc. That is so enticing,  enthralling.. it whispers, calls to you,  makes you crave that touch,  that sensation.. sliding across your mind, long before that touch,  feel on your body.  That is where it begins for Me... before the body is ever touched.. the mind first must be teased, stroked,  beckoned,  whispered to.. controlled.. after that.. the body is but an instrument to dance for you. 
I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."
Passions of a Ghost Young and energetic MD approaches a stretch of buildings in the Sin City of New Orleans. Risking it all knowing he is outside his perimeter for Max Travel Distance from his military post, but he is dying to know what this new world is about. It is his first party within the lifestyle community with wild fantasies, expectations and fears raging through his mind. Will he be enough? How will he compare? Will he be accepted in a world which rejaspects him for being different? Questions galore which make his palms sweat beyond control. He has a few contacts already within the dungeon having gone through their vetting process. Paperwork signed and face to face meetings had, all that is left is to walk in the door. As he watches the comings and goings he see's Doms, Domme's, subs and slaves walking through a well worn door. Finally pulling himself together he walks in nervously and pays his fee to enter. Around the corner the adventure begins. Furniture of all kinds are found along the walls and in the center of a well laid out dungeon. People are talking amongst themselves, others strung up to crosses for their night's enjoyment, and yet more are preparing for scenes of their own. The energies are immediately felt and a bubbling rise is felt in his chest. As the energies are taken in he comes to understand. He is home. In the coming years this shy little Dom was able to study under some very wise, creative, and often sadistic people of all walks of life. These early days was full of dungeon parties, munches, gatherings of all kinds. There was a code of ethics similar to the military which he knew so well. There was respect. There was courage. There was acceptance. Of course there was love as well. In this community which became my world D types were hard, sadistic, and pushed hard to bring to life the fullest of potential in themselves and their s types. At the same time they still had a heart. If anything they loved their partners far more than ever written in vanilla history. Traveling with the military I traveled the country, but found myself in a different world when he got out after 3 tours overseas. The community had changed. It had evolved into something grander in size, but with so many elements which eroded the values he once knew. He walked those dungeons looking for any resemblance of the community he knew but it was nowhere to be found. Talking with his mentor she couldnt help but laugh at him. He was ranting and raving about the changes which took away the life he knew so well. He was struggling to find his way. He was frustrated how noone held themselves to a standard which made this life so great. He was lost and alone. Even in training with his partners he found them continuously pulled towards this easy shiny way of the life instead of putting in the work and patience required to get to the same level and standard as he needed. His mentor laughed hearing it all before and feeling it herself. She had long since left the community. She felt the changes moreso having come in years before he. She ranted and raved, felt the same frustrations. She battered against those walls trying to bring back those values long before he even felt their demise. After he finally stopped confused by the laughter, her next sentence said it all. "Welcome to the Old Guard" It wasn't anything official or an earning of leathers. It wasn't anything to brag about or label myself as such. It was a pure statement which helped him understand in such a profound way what he had been missing. In all that time he had been looking up like a child letting others take the reigns of the community. He didn't see myself as a leader though having over 12 years in this life at that point. He didn't find himself worthy to take up that mantle yet. After those words were spoken the whole discussion changed from what was lost to how he can be the example for those which feel that absence as deeply as he did. His drive towards mentorship and teaching drove a fire in him which couldn't be extinguished. He stood side by side with those very same leaders he looked up to trying to be that beacon. He started simply teaching rope classes but this also gave him a way to interact with people new and old within the lifestyle. Discussing the issues. Being that rock and safe haven to guide the next generation away from trouble and into a path of greater development. It was a lonely road for nomatter how hard he tried, his equal in passion for this life was nowhere to be found. If anything his role as a teacher and mentor drove him further into isolation. Experience once valued was now seen as a deterrent for many. His age showing more and more became a wall he couldn't tear down. Eventually after personal experiences which nearly crushed his soul, betrayal by the very community he loved and served for so long, he walked away into the shadows. He still had his friends and made the occassional appearances but his heart was held heavy knowing the life he knew was but smokey memories of a long gone era. Now 23 years into this life he found himself down the same road as his mentor before him. Slowly fading away as a ghost of the past. Leathers faded and worn, toys dusty and bearing the years of use, wrinkles where there used to be none, and a sense of passion still burning in his heart he still hangs on to hope. Not for the return of a community once known, but for that one which knows that same level of passion as his own. That one to walk these roads well traveled but once more. That one who he can share his all.  
Since I seem to get the same questions over and over I will answer them here and save me and anyone asking time and effort: Q: Would you consider a male slave?/Do you ever play with a male sub? A: Not really. My style of BDSM is very sexual and since males doesn't attract me sexually I wouldn't enjoy a male slave. I might consider a male slave as part of a submissive couple, but then again he couldn't expect much sexual interaction between him and me. Q: Would you consider a CD/TV/Sissy as your slave? A: I might consider it if you are part of a couple where the other party is a sub female, or if you are very feminine, very young and very submissive. Q: Would you train my wife if I send her to you for a limited time and send me photos and films of you training and using her? A: Yes I would if you really send her AND if she is in on it. The problem with the couples and men asking for this is they disappear and erase their profile after 20 - 30 messages and sometimes the same number of mails. Most probably they were roleplaying and there was no wife OR she wasn't in on it and they din't dare to suggest it to her, or if they did she wouldn't play along. Q: Would you train me on-line?/Would you claim me as your on-line slave? A: Probably not. I used to say no way, but during the pandemic I did have a few sexual relationships with submissive girls in several countries using telephone and/or various chat apps. We shared our dirty fantasies, we shared orgasms and I had some of them do painful and perverse things on themselves on my command. Now when the pandemic seems to be over and IRL contact is possible again on-line relationships seems less attractive. I live the lifestyle IRL and even an on-line slave girl takes time and effort. It's not a definite no, but you would have to be very special and very devoted for me to consider an on-line slave.
  More Male Energy  I've come to realize that all of women in my inner circle are tomboys.  It's not like I'm attracted to them exclusively.  I just seem to like athletic women.  Take my Romanian girlfriend for example.  She's definitely the head of the household in her relationship.  She makes all of the money and makes all of the major decisions.  In fact, she's been with the same guy for years and they're not married.  She likes the idea that she could split at any time.   My other girlfriend is very much a tomboy.  Rather than doing girly things she's much more at home working on a car or building a deck.  She also likes being nude and playing pickleball.  We get along because she's a bikini girl like me.  We spend lots of time together sunbathing and talking.  She loved the swinger lifestyle.   I have a gay girlfriend who's been with the same girl for a long time.  We don't spend much time together as I'd like because my wife is very jealous of her.  But we have a lot in common and I know she's attracted to me.  Her significant other is butch looking.  She runs her own business and is very smart.  The last thing in these girls mind is a man! And then there's my submissive wife.  She spends most of her time thinking about how to please me.  To the outside world she's this dynamic ball of energy whose ready to pitch in for the fight.  At home, she wants to do everything I want to do.  She can turn that male energy on and off like a switch.   We both know who is in charge here.    
My ultimate goal is to find a man to make me his housewife, so I decided to write some things about what that means to me. A housewife is just a fancy way to say you are a slave in a 24/7 TPE. A housewife is property, a housewife has no rights, only those a master gives them. A housewife gives their mind and body to a master, a housewife is not able to make the decisions that are in their best interest, so a master takes that role. They choose the clothes that are best for their housewife to wear that day, a master knows the most important things that need to be done and make a list for the hou to complete for the day. The typical day of the housewife consists of cooking for a master, cleaning the masters house, and completing the duties a master tells them to do. A master cares for their housewife, and if a housewife does something wrong or does not do something correctly, the master punishes the housewife, to teach them and help them grow. A housewife gives their mind and body to the master, a master deserves this for caring for the housewife, this means their body is the master's to use amd abuse whenever and however they choose. I know there is more to this but these were just some of my thoughts.
Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel girl it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl   "Girl, how do you feel being a girl? (Girl, girl, girl) Girl, how do you feel being a girl, girl? (Girl, girl) Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl (girl, girl, girl, girl) Yeah, I don't know if you like me Sometimes I think you might hate me Sometimes I think I might hate you Maybe you just wanna be me You always say, "Let's go out" So we go eat at a restaurant Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest Can't tell if you wanna see me Falling over and failing And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel The industry loves to spin And when we put this to bed The internet will go crazy I'm glad I know how you feel 'Cause I ride for you, Charli (Charli, Charli)" this one is going to be shorter than usual because charli and lorde said it all. in the sophia context, carli is me. lorde is me. all the music performers are me. on a bigger screen. it's not the first time i've said it's not the last. if you are especially resonating with mjy writing, my profile, my page and you're femme(afab, woman, transgender, third gender, non gender, queer, femme man, metrosexual, whatever the label, the sophia aka divine feminine original soul is fluid...feminity is fluid and therefore the body and gender identity is wild in it's presentation on the spiritual tip) alternative, dark goddess, quirky, subversive, love different, feel different, relationship different, kink oriented, gothy, kawaii y, nerd y, geeky, on the add/austim 'spectrum' label or not, atheist or not, attracted to mermaids, space, aliens, sanrio, all the things....you might be me too. you might be charli too. you might be lorde too. the lyrics say it.....our ages are different, our race is vast, our locations are vast. the way it played out is slightly different. but there's a deep pattern. this soul is a stubborn bitch raging against the 'music industry' of life..the structure that isn't right isnt' working.....we're given harder deals of life than most. we're touching hard subjaspects of emotions relationships crappy family origins, and rough deals. we're touching a sense of deep loneliness and otherness when other ladies get to fit in and feel accepted at a level we never will...from someone like me who literally navigates 3d alone with a deep rich online community and community of people who love me but have more obligations and stuff that just translates to a more distant but deep resonnance.....to someone who has a husband or wife or partner and  kids and family but still has that deep sense of not fitting in. we feel deeply we love deeply we devour those we love and we have a fierceness in us that is trying to be quelled and normalized and packaged....we can only be eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and scott pligram in portions us. not just in our head....our livelihoods, our housing, our basic needs at times or maybe not basic..just the words actions of others viscerally tell us.... we can't be us..shape up morph and change or get destroyed. and were dark goddesses. we don't cave in like the others and submit. we know we're up against the powers at control and we still fight back even if we fall fucking hard. but we don't' give in....we don't become torturous violent vicious spirits....we hold our light navigating the tight rope of dark and being fully consumed by the abyss. we keep creating we keep screaming into the void we keep doing like sister lana says, 'our rare jazz collection, our beat poetry' we're so talented at our individual souls gifts in this bigger puzzle 'we can sing most anything' even when the 3d world doesn't properly compensate or secure us for this. "Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Girl, how do you feel being a girl?" i have this higher perspective where my spirituality and deep inner work has cracked a code. in the auras of pictures or the words or just the being i see it. you're definately separate from me. but on a deep level i see it. you're me. even if they don't' see it or recognize it or want to admit it...deep down i know. you're me too. "Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Yeah, I don't know if you like me Sometimes I think you might hate me Sometimes I think I might hate you Maybe you just wanna be me You always say, "Let's go out" So we go eat at a restaurant Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest Can't tell if you wanna see me Falling over and failing And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel" i navigate being on my own dark goddess/alt girl sophia journey but a deeper level of what i am. (if anyone is curious and wants a book reference that energetically activates this on a deep level, check out sister kaia ra. trigger warning early on without warning she talks about her betrayal and incursion event of why she had to grow up fast and what most people hear and think is heinous and something you can't recover from....her's is more intense than mine..the control is the family of origin 'hero's journey' but the variable is the degree to which it happened in this experiment on earth. and because she's where she's at she doesn't trigger warning or hide it. she's raw and says it.  ) when i see one of us breaking because their michaels hurt their heart and their daddy let them down i break. not because it just happened to me but i feel that collective hurt. when i see the struggles with our whack ass mom or sometimes dad, usually mom i grieve not just because of my own situation.  when i see the world take us out of our work or shit on our dreams i feel it so deeply. when i see us struggling with the physical issues of chronic whatever this or that or whatever issue we have because the body takes the toll i hear it. we're navigating a world that as the song says loves to see us not united. focus on the little variables of what makes us different and not support us. "I was so lost in my head And scared to be in your pictures 'Cause for the last couple years I've been at war in my body I tried to starve myself thinner And then I gained all the weight back I was trapped in a hatred And your life seemed so awesome I never thought for a second My voice was in your head "Girl, you walk like
Submissive men are sexy. Period.   It’s a damn shame how many don’t realize it—thanks to a society (and yes, even parts of the kink scene) that tells them they’re not desirable. Newsflash: I don’t Dominate because I hate men—I Dominate because I desire them. Deeply. I crave their surrender, their effort, their devotion. A good submissive man? Baby, that’s my kink.   What turns me off? Entitled dudes who slap on the “submissive” label just to demand kink services like I’m some drive-thru McDomme. Sorry, but barking orders while calling yourself a “sub” just makes you a bratty top with boundary issues. Gross.   And let’s talk about the trope that Dominant women have to look like leather-clad porn bots but aren’t allowed to actually enjoy sex—especially not with submissive men. Um, what? I like sex. I like desire. And I like submissive men who know how to bring both respectfully.   So here’s the tea: I’m not here to play out broken porn stereotypes. I want real, respectful power exchange—where male submission is honored, not humiliated. If you think submission means weakness, you’re not ready for a woman like me.   And female supremacy? Cute in porn. But in real life? Power is about character, not genitals. Respect is sexy. Submission is sacred. Get into it—or get outta the way.
Another Week. The search continues. It's frustraing on this site. (As well as others) to the lack of interaction. What is even more frustrating is when you meet or see a profile and Domme on here that you KNOW you would be what they want. They check ever box. Age, Desires, Interests, all of them. Yet it's impossible to score an interview with them. One day..one day!   Also I do ADORE getting the messages and the views of my profile. I'd say this to the guys on here. Just create the profile in red as a Domme. I mean. It's all online anyway. Right? Fool me and play the part!:)  Still writing on LE as well. If anyone wants to read up on me there..let me know!  
Just because I speak to you does not mean you serve me. That's not how this work's and you will give me the respect that is owed to me or I will not talk to you.If your looking for a quick fix or some kind of a sex game move on I will not give you the time of day.If i am the least bit interested I will talk with you I will not run/jump at a chance to play again that is not how this work and if that's what your looking for then its a kink/fetish and thats ok but not what I do.I am a true DOM and I am a WOMAN and if you can't handel that then that's fine again move on.To all other's please reach out I will talk with you.
We are now in the land of 2022  And even now after all of these years, at least on Collarme, whoops I meant to write Collarspace the thing that pisses people off the most is not what one would expect.  I think we all had our share of quote, unquote BOT PROFILES or that one LMAO several fake Doms, Dommes, or anyone for that matter The punctuation and grammar grid is irritating as hell at times.  But of all of these and some, I have not pointed out.   The biggest ASSHAT of them all is trying to keep your profile CURRENT with new information, likes or dislikes, and even updated photos.   I dare any to disagree with me, especially reading some profiles lately how some have been locked out of their accounts still PENDING approval, LIKE WTF is really going on??? One of the main reasons even as a DaddyDom I am afraid to update my account, this is supposed to be a joke but I am serious as an old man busting a nut, a heart attack!!! But I digress...
It seems not of people here.. And I say people are not real subs...  Same  profiles written and same responses...  Let alone same reactions..  Women  bored of the lives they lead.. And want something different and interesting...  In the  meantime... Still enjoying the intelectual side of it..  As occasionally I find someone that actually has a brain.. And the guts to come out of the shadows and talk...  Those moments are worth the other 99% of scared or unsure  women.. "Oh yeeh of little faith " true.. My search is no more...  But still one likes to browse and find very interesting profiles... Just that they don't match their actions...  Have a nice day! 
Building an authentic M/s relationship takes time. It starts with conversation. Open and honest about what things mean, experiences, expectations, and more. How else would we determine if we are good for each other. Then, it takes a leap of faith from both of us. I've been surprised by a "slave" who was so rude and so standoffish. I get I am not for everyone just as not everyone will be a good match for Me. But still... kindness is for everyone.  I am not a wannabe. Nor am I just a thirsty boy looking for sex. Sex will be a great part of our dynamic but it's not what drives Me. I've lived this life authentic for many many years. I seek that 24/7 TAT/TPE again.  That likely starts on line and then moves to calls and visits. I am not here to scam you, lead you on, have you send pics, or wank off to you on skype. Not My thing at all. I am old school. you'll always be treated with respect. Being in charge doesn't equate to mean or disrespectful.  Just about every ex or ex play partner will have good things to say about Me. One was a compulsive liar who turned nasty. A few of them would love for Me to collar them again. you will not be disappointed with Me if you are truly seeking a deep D/s or M/s bond and relationship.  I am still in Grand Rapids while I look at places to relocate to. I'll buy a house and settle in wherever that leads Me to. I hope you'll take a leap of faith. MT
    February 12th, 2022   Pantyhose guy came over today. He has pretty much given himself the nickname, because he loves the feeling of being in pantyhose.  I'm not really into him wearing them during a visit and he respaspects that.   He's visited a few times before. But today was a little different. Today he decided to suck cock for the first time. He might have had a taste or two before, but today he got the full treatment.   Because he reads my stories, he knew when he walked in the house to strip naked. I don't even think I had to tell him. He just stripped off his clothes immediately. Although it did not come as a surprise, his tiny cock was trapped in a beautiful black cock cage.    He was very nervous, and he shared this information in text messages before his arrival.  So instead of giving him a chance to think it over, and maybe change his mind, we headed straight upstairs.   I had just gotten out of the shower, still a little damp, wearing nothing but jogging pants. When we got upstairs I stripped out of the jogging pants and laid on my back in bed. From text messages we had shared earlier in the day he knew that's what was going to happen. I was going to let him go at his pace, for his first time of sucking cock.   He was nervous and stood next to the bed naked for a few minutes, until eventually he asked what he should do. I scooted up in the bed a bit and told him to climb in from the bottom and start to suck my cock. Knowing he was nervous, I kept my cock soft, but as his mouth surrounded my cock it was wonderful.  Not just the fact that my cock was the first cock that was going to get hard in his mouth, but it felt warm and wet and wonderful.   Instead of laying flat on the on his stomach, like the boy in my previous story (the boy with his hands tied behind his back) pantyhose guy was on his knees leaning down toward my cock. This made the angle a little bit difficult but he was having no problems.  But even with the slightly difficult angle before long I could feel my cock starting to grow. I didn't want to force him into anything but I did lay my hands on the back of his head, feeling the rhythmic bouncing of his head on my cock.  Once or twice I grabbed a handful of hair and pushed him balls deep. I was surprised that he didn't gag.   As he continued to suck my cock, I reached down and started playing with one of his nipples. I started with a little pinch and then got a little more aggressive. Something about pinching his nipple put my cock on fire. I could feel my cock getting even harder than it was just a few moments ago. He didn't resist, he didn't complain, he just let me play with his nipple.   After he had sucked cock for a while, I told him we were going to change positions. Instead of both of us being parallel to the length of the bed, I laid at an diagonal and he positions himself perpendicular to the bed. This gave me access to his ass with my fingers, while still giving his mouth access to my cock.   He brought his own silicone lube and I poured some onto the fingers of my left hand. He leaned forward and started sucking my cock again, pushing his ass up into the air. As my fingers found their way to his hole, I was met with another nice surprise.  I felt a butt plug in place. I started to pull and tug on the butt plug and there was quite a bit of resistance. It started popping out of his ass but it did not release completely. I learned it was a multi-layered bubble butt plug with two big bubbles/balls. The first ball came out followed slowly by the second. It was either glass or clear acrylic, very large, and I knew it was leaving an empty space in his hole.   I sat it on the back of the bed, and soon my fingers found his gaping hole.  One finger slid in with absolutely no resistance, so quickly two fingers went into his ass. As he continued sucking on my cock I found his prostate and started massaging it.  He started to moan. Since my cock was in his mouth I could feel the vibrations of the moan penetrating my cock.   With my left hand on his ass and my fingers in his hole, my right hand rested on the back of his head or neck occasionally pushing him deep under my cock. Once or twice he came off my cock and said It felt so great he was afraid he was going to orgasm. So we would take a bit of a breather. I would pull my fingers out of his ass but he would continue to suck my cock.    We did this for quite a while, and at one point he said his jaw was starting to ache.  I knew why he had come for a visit. He wanted my cock in his hole and my seed deep in his ass.   From the discussions we had earlier while texting I didn't know how much time he had, but I knew I was ready to fuck him. So I told him it was time. He questioned if we were rushing, I'm not sure if he was enjoying the cock sucking and me playing with his ass or if he was thinking of backing out. I decided not to take the chance.  I told him it was time to get fucked.   I climbed off the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air. I climbed on the bed behind him, my left foot flat on the bed with my bent knee. My right foot and leg hooked around his right leg to hold him up and to keep him from dropping away from me.   My cock found its target, and plunged in balls deep first try. The toy that had been in his ass was so large, he was so opened up, he didn't even g.  But he was definitely not loose, his ass was tight around my cock.  Oh my God it felt wonderful.  I twisted my right knee on top of his back, somehow keeping my right foot locked in place so he couldn't get away.  In this perpendicular position our bodies were almost forming a "T."   This gave me the absolute maximum depth in his ass that I could have. I varried my rhythm going from slow to fast. Sometimes pulling completely out and plunging back in. Sometimes just popping the head of my cock in and out. Sometimes working full length without pulling out completely. His head was down on the pillow where it should be, his ass in the air. At times I felt him rhythmically push back as if to force his ass to swallow more of my cock.   The sensation was incredible, plus from my view it was a hot sight to see. His ass up, his head down, occasionally I would lean forward and put my hand against the back of his head and push him into the pillow. I probably only lasted about 10 minutes, and during that time I thought of everything including work, my broken snowblower, and things on my to-do list... but it didn't help, it was all too exciting.   Then I made my fatal mistake. I flipped my right foot onto the back of his neck pushing him down into the pillow with much of my weight. Psychologically there is something about me being dominant and doing this to a submissive that pushes me over the edge. And that is exactly what it did. My bad, LOL.   Soon I told him that I was going to be flooding his ass with my cum.   I pumped another dozen or so times and then felt my cum pulsing out of my cock. Filling his ass with my orgasm. I was staying hard so I continued fucking him. I moved my leg back to the bed pinning him against me, sometimes brutally thrusting into him. Eventually I was exhausted and had to pull out.   We reinserted the glass toy into his hole so none of my seed would
I was here awhile back and left. Hello again. I propose a power exchange. About me. I am a strong willed woman. I know what I want in life and am patient enough to wait for it. I've been active in this lifestyle for over 18 years. I would describe myself as a firm and demanding, loving sadistic, that delights in pushing her playthings to the point that is just this side of no return. I expect obedience. I give love, kink and a place to belong (kneeling at my feet). The setting. I live in the woods on the river, deep in the heart of a vast and beautiful land. Where the sun rarely sets in the middle of summer and rarely peeks it's head out in the middle of its winter wonderland. The exchange. I want to play with you. To hurt and humiliate you. To tend your wounds and then hurt you some more. At the end of the day I want you curled at my feet with a hot cup of tea in hand while we share witty banter about the days many activities. I also want my dishes done. My floor scrubbed. My door fixed. My garage cleaned. My art room organized. My garden weeded. My front deck built. This could start as a two week vacation or a repeat visit but should end as a lifetime venture. Serious inquiries preferred.
My person . . i know you are out there . .the one who WON'T do what hurtful people do now to me . . you won't EVER lie to me, brush me off unimportant, not give me your time, leave me waiting, use me, not care, feed me bullshit and not be honest. And you WON'T only care about sex. Yes you may be so very sexual and that will be huge for us BUT it is NOT all you care about. You will have a heart and brain (even if you aren't super crazy smart) you will care about my feelings and we will form a relationship before any form of sexuality or sexual compatibility is explored. I also won't feel the way with you that these current people are making me feel .  .i will be the opposite with you. With you I will feel and be good enough and more than! It will take a little time but I will be your world.
Masturbation   A book could be, should be, has been? written on the subject. However, in this little piece I am going to address those that masturbate to My writings.    First thing I want those that engage in the practice of jacking off while reading or chatting with Me to know is your behavior is OK with Me. Whack off to your hearts content. Edge yourself.    Some few might even have a cock sucker serve you while you peruse My site. Go for it. Good for you.   Sorry, I have not included female pussy players up to this point. Yes, I know you are out there. Same for you; enjoy.   Here is what I would like you to do. Tell me. I know some are to embarrassed to shy or, maybe, to selfish to share their activity with Me. Get over yourself. Do you really think you are all that much that you cannot share?   Ok, enough shaming. One of the adverse effaspects of your spanking your monkey is when you come and the subspace disappears from your head you just drop any communication you are having with me. Do you think that is fair to me? No. No it is not.   Here is what I would like you to do. Just tell Me of your activity when you begin. What are you afraid of? I am not going to reach through your screen and slap you. (Hum, that is an idea, though.) No, just let me know so when you lose sub space and want to leave just say so. That way, you do not feel like you can not return out of embarrassment or what ever self involved feeling might make you reticent.   Anyway, if you tell me of your forbidden(?) activity we might both enjoy it.   I hope everyone has good sex. Except those poor bastards that become My slave property, but, that is another story.    
i am pretty sure he's done with me.  No idea how I'm going to get through this feeling of failure.  I don't think I possess the ability to move on.  He owns every part of me. My thoughts are wrapped around him, our interactions, our love.  I don't surrender temporarily. I don't quit just because things get hard. I never have.  But somehow I'm supposed to quit him? Quit us? And just carry on? The very thought is viscerally painful.  I miss him. He still won't talk to me. Not even to tell me one way or the other.  On FetLife he's still listed on my profile. I suggested he remove it if he was done with me, that it would give him a way of telling me without the need for direct contact, if that's what he wanted. He is still listed.  All I know is, it's going to take the death of hope to let him go. 
What being a little/middle is for me For me it is not a choice. I am a natural little and middle because of things that both happened and didn't happen. I'm not a roleplay little I have involuntary age regression! I need to feel safe and be protected during these times. I also have little/middle traits during every day life and even more so when I feel something is wrong or I did something wrong. So the lifestyle allows me to be accepted as I am and can't help but be. I'm extremely inquisitive, at times super bouncy, needy, playful, well behaved, but I can also be ornery ( in a playful way) , I have some difficulty understanding things, I make mistakes in verbalizing what I mean or need at times, I need alot of reassurance especially in the beginning. Although I am a passenger princess, I have difficulty just asking for attention, I'm super into my person and lovey.
The parcel She didn’t often get the house to herself this early in the day.  The kids had been collected by their father at 3pm and her Friday evening and the weekend stretched before her.  Pub with friends tomorrow night, she thought. But this afternoon she had planned to masturbate herself stupid.  She ignored the usual, quieter, stick vibe in her bedside drawer.  Instead she slid the innocuous-looking brown box from under her bed.  It was covered in dust but, inside, her large black mains wand was pristine.  She stripped off, put some lube onto the large head and lay on her bed; legs spread wide. Something was waking her up.  She had brought herself to orgasm 3 times before having to stop because her clit was too sensitive for her to make herself hold the wand there any longer, and she must have dozed off.  The light through her curtains had dimmed considerably and she guessed it was about 6pm.  What the hell had woken her?  Then she heard the knocking at her front door and realized that someone was outside.  Shit!  The new set of butt plugs she had ordered.  She didn’t want to miss the delivery; not when she had the whole weekend in front of her to try them out.  Worried about how long the delivery person had already been stood on her front doorstep, she threw on the closest thing to hand - an oversize jumper - and started down the stairs. As she approached her front door she shrugged irritably at the jumper, which was far too large and kept slipping off one shoulder.  She paused for a moment when she saw the large shape through the frosted pane of glass in her door.  Whoever was out there was enormous and she was wearing nothing but a jumper.  Quickly she reminded herself that she lived on a main road, surrounded by neighbours, and that she really wanted those butt plugs.  She opened the door. He had been about to push a card through the letterbox and go back to his van, kind of annoyed that the last delivery of the day was out and he would have to return the parcel to the depot, when the door suddenly opened.  His eyes widened in surprise and he lowered the parcel to waist level when he saw what stood in the doorway.  The woman’s long blonde hair looked delightfully tousled, like she had just got out of bed and her green eyes looked very dark.  Her exact shape was difficult to see in the shapeless jumper she wore but, as it stopped high on her thighs, he could guess that she was plump and curvy in all the right places underneath it. One of her shoulders was bare and he could see that the last of her summer tan hadn’t quite faded from it.  The woman quickly folded her arms.  He thought she looked a little embarrassed to be standing there in just a jumper.  Didn’t she realize that folding her arms pushed her very large breasts together and increased the amount of cleavage he could see?  “Lovehoney delivery for you,” he said, instantly realising that he had let slip the fact that he knew what was inside the ‘discreet’ brown box he carried.  The sight of her had obviously driven that knowledge to the forefront of his mind. Her mouth opened and she felt her cheeks turn crimson when she heard the words from the tall stranger.  Her arms unfolded and fell to her sides and, for a moment, an image of this hazel-eyed stranger pushing one of her new butt plugs into her arse as she held it open for him flashed across her mind.  She blinked and the image was gone, but she wondered how long she had stood there, staring, before stepping forwards and saying, “Yes, that’s right.” As she stepped forward he noticed that she hadn’t corrected him about the origin of the parcel.  He also noticed that she was still not quite as tall as he was, even though he was stood on a step below the level of her hallway. God she looked attractive, he thought, like she’d just finished having sex but wanted more.  She probably had her husband upstairs waiting, although he noticed that she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.  “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything,” he said, handing the parcel to her.  He watched her flush again and say, “No, no, I’m all alone.”  As she took the parcel he found himself staring straight into her eyes.  They were dark green and seemed to be asking for something that she hadn’t articulated yet.  He couldn’t believe the next words out of his mouth, “Look, I hope you don’t mind, it’s been a really long shift, please could I use your toilet?” She made a small step back into her hallway and stared at the man in front of her.  Medium build but very tall, he was wearing work boots and jeans; a casual shirt was tucked loosely into the jeans and she could see a t-shirt underneath.  Her eyes lingered on a well-worn, brown leather belt, then they travelled to his face.  His eyes were twinkling mischievously but he also looked a little nervous, like he was about to change his mind about something.  He looked strong and gentle at the same time and she felt her belly warm as she looked at him.  “Of course, the cloakroom’s just behind me.” He stepped over the threshold and pushed the door closed behind him before saying, “Thank you.”  The hallway was very small and she had stepped back into another doorway, to the left, that looked like it led to the living room.  There was a door in front of him so he took off his muddy boots and stepped through it.  The cloakroom was small; fitted under the staircase.  He suddenly wondered how he was going to urinate when his cock was semi hard.  He would have to wait for a moment to let it go down. She put the parcel on the kitchen table before returning to the living room and perching on the arm of one of the sofas.  She tried to collect her thoughts.  There was a large, strange man in her house, and she was naked apart from a loose jumper.  She quickly came to the realization that she didn’t care one bit.  In fact, she recognised that she was aroused.  Maybe because she had fallen asleep masturbating, but she suspected it was more to do with the man in her cloakroom.  If someone had stolen knowledge of the physical attributes of her ideal man, they would have created the person in her downstairs cloakroom.  She heard the flush and water running and then realized he was stood in the doorway looking at her again.  Making a decision, she straightened her back and shoulders and confidently asked, “Would you like a nice hot coffee before you head off?” He had been about to thank her again and say his goodbyes, when the woman with the just fucked hair and bedroom eyes thrust her tits out and invited him to stay for a coffee.  He agreed but, as she asked him to follow her into the kitchen, he realized he was playing with fire here.  He told himself, and by that he meant his cock, to wait for a very clear signal before committing himself to making a move.  After all, perhaps all the 40-something women in this suburb invited delivery men into their homes for coffee, whilst strolling around in next to nothing, just to tease and give themselves something to talk about at the school gates the next morning. She flicked the kettle on and took milk out of her fridge, noticing that he had leant himself on the back of one of her kitchen chairs.  Watching her.  She could see the parcel containing the butt plugs on the table behind him and her cheeks blushed again.  He had folded his arms across his chest and crossed
I Don’t Know Where My Poppa Is: A Little Girl’s Song, An Adult Woman’s Pain   "Food & Liquor" by Lupe Fiasco has always hit different for me, but tonight, "He Say She Say" felt like it was speaking straight to my soul. "You see what his problem is He don’t know where his poppa is…" It’s one of those songs where the lyrics carry everything. No extra words needed from me. Just sitting here feeling it deeply—for the child in the story, for the mom trying her best, and how it translates to me as an adult woman with a little girl inside who never went away. Navigating a world where my core family of origin is my biggest enemy and the men I’ve tried to vet and sift through—the ones I hoped would be the real poppa—never came. It left both the adult me and little me saying the same thing: "I don’t know where my poppa is." "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" As you read the lyrics and listen to the song, imagine that this is what us women go through—what I go through: "Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" This lyric is repeated twice—once from the mom's perspective, saying "When my momma try to provide and I tell her that ain't your job," and once from the son's perspective, saying "When I try to provide and he tells her that ain't your job." For me, the adult me and the little girl—Little Jess—are saying this simultaneously, in one body, clearly, over and over. It’s deep. Like the Lupe Fiasco song I wrote about previously, "The Coolest," the dangers and the stories are all there. And yet, I can’t help but wonder—if men really evaluated what this is like when they pretend to step up and then leave horrendously, do they truly understand what this does? Not just to the adult woman they let down, but to the little girl inside, who they treated as a kind of Pied Piper, leading her into heartbreak. Lupe, thank you for songs like this. "I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me She said to him, "I want you to be a father He's your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and he's starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you he's a starver" "Starting to use red markers on his work His teacher say they know he's much smarter but he's hurt Used to hand his homework in first Like he was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know she see us Now he's fighting in class Got a note last week that say he might not pass Ask me if his daddy was sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick him up" "You see what his problem is He don't know where his poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "He's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since he was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that He don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when I try to provide And he say, 'Mommy, that ain't your job'" To be a man, I try to make him understand That I'm his number one fan But it's like he born from the stands You know the world is out to get him So why don't you give him a chance?" I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me So he said to him, "I want you to be a father I'm your little boy and you don't even bother Like 'Brother' without the R and I'm starting to harbor Cool and food for thought but for you I'm a starver" "Starting to use red markers on my work My teacher say they know I'm much smarter but I'm hurt I used to hand my homework in first Like I was the classroom starter" "Burst to tears, let them know he see us Now I'm fighting in class Got a note last week that say I might not pass Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us 'Cause you ain't never pick me up" "You see what my problem is That I don't know where my poppa is No positive male role model To play football and build railroad models" "It's making a hole, you've been digging it 'Cause you ain't been kicking it Since I was old enough to hold bottles Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that I don't deserve to get used to that" "Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard Just breaks my heart, when my momma try to provide And I tell her, 'That ain't your job'" "To be a man, she try to make me understand That she my number one fan But it's like you born from the stands You know the world is out to get me Why don't you give me a chance?" It's like, I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave Now, now, I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave I don't know what you want You want more from me I can't, I won't, I can't I won't let you leave" Have you ever connected deeply with a song like this—one that feels like it speaks to both your pain and your strength at the same time? If so, which one, and why?
Thought I would update my profile with some new pics.  When my profile reappears you can see how handsome I am.   When I was being admitted to the hospital the nurse taking my vitals caught my attention.  Older gal quite self assured and funny.  Funny is very attractive to me.  I asked if she was married and she said no she had just divorced her husband and the decree had just come through that week.  I looked at her grinned that grin all guys have when we're propositioning a girl and asked her if she would marry me.  She looked me right in the eye and said.  "Nope I just got rid of one deadbeat husband, I don't need another."   I was just one upped Lol.  That comment just made my year.
Unread messages don’t mean I missed you... they mean I already felt your energy… and declined it in silence. This path is sacred. If you don’t know how to approach a woman already walking in discipline and fire,.. don't. 
I have surrendered to you absolutely,Given myself complete and whole,I have given you my mind and body,But then you also took my soul.You have broken the essence of my being,To shards and pieces spread about the dust,Then molded me into a creation,Solely for your pleasure and for your lust.You have taken everything out of me,You plucked my logic again and again,That when I crave for desecration,I welcome the punishment.You break and make my spirit,When the void you fill is just as muchAs when the words fail me you flail me,That my flesh welcomes your touch.This goes beyond all worship and adoration,When your commands are the breaths I need,And I know I’m not worthy of this servitude,When you drink the tears I bleed.
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY DO NOT SEND DICK PICS OR NUDES NOT INTERESTED IN SEXTING I DO NOT WANT A SUGAR DADDY I DO NOT HAVE AN ONLYFANS ACCOUNT NOR DO I WANT ONE I'M NOT LOOKING TO MAKE CONTENT WITH ANYONE I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY I'M NOT HERE TO TRADE PICS OR VIDEOS I AM NOT LOOKING FOR FWB NOT LOOKING FOR OR WANTING HOOKUPS. DO NOT CONTACT ME REGARDING HOOKUPS PERIOD. I DO NOT SUB OR PLAY OVER THE INTERNET. I'M NOT HERE FOR SEXTING I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING PART OF A COUPLE/POLY RELATIONSHIP MY HARD LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES ARE ANYTHING ILLEGAL, ANAL, ANIMALS, DRUGS OF ANY SORT, ANYTHING TO DO WITH HUMAN OR ANIMAL WASTE. DO NOT PUSH MY LIMITS/ BOUNDARIES OR YOU WILL BE REPORTED AND BLOCKED. ADDITIONAL HARD LIMITS/ BOUNDARIES FACE FUCKING, GAGGING, HUMILIATION,VOMIT, THIS WILL BE UPDATED WHEN AND IF I FIND MORE LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES.
What every gurl should have... Dressed in black silk thigh highs, wobbly on stiletto heels in a simple soft velvet black dress i sashay toward You til reaching out with Your crop You lift the hem exposing my balls bound tight in pink para-cord. Turning me with a flick of Your finger and bending me over You force a jeweled butt plug up my bung and swiftly flip my dress over my face and pull me towards You by the clover clamp chain joining my pert nipples peeking out from slits in my bikini bra. You drive me to my knees spreading them wide, vulnerable to Your slapping crop. Before they turn blue You lube my stiffening cock commanding " Stroke it, but dare not cum" while having grabbed a rattan cane You begin to stripe my ass to set a stroking rhythm. Each time stopping just as i am about to spurt and flipping the cane between my wide spread legs i scream as rattan bruises my scrotum. 2B continued?
i realize the intense magnitude to serve has only increased over the years for me, personally, but i cannot just serve anyone just for the sake of servitude. There has to be substance, depth, attraction, bond and connection. These are ALL important qualities to share for a 1:1 relationship.  Please don't insult my intelligence  by stating that you are into older women or that you travel to the area frequently. This is not the foundation i hope to build on. i am 60! i wish to grow older with Him and take care of Him as We go through both ups and downs in life together; not to bail when life is difficult to deal with.  
LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION  My Thoughts Sir Hugo Atlanta In Real Estate, there is a saying  Location, Location,   Limiting your Dom Sub SEARCH to folks in your city or state  makes verification and meetup so much easier. THE REALITY IS  A Potential dom / sub/ Partner who lives more than 30 miles away is WASTING YOUR EFFORTS. In my experience, THE BEST PLACE to meet potential partners is at a local munch.Google Search          BDSM Munchs in ATLANTA, GA  ( Enter your CITY, STATE ) or use               FindaMunch.com THE REALITY IS those who go to munchs want to meet you and play with you, NOT WASTE YOUR TIME SEXTING.   Your mileage may vary.    (   THAT WAS A JOKE- Doms can be light hearted - ) My Thoughts    Sir Hugo Atlanta PS  Kudos CollarSpace Management for having a Chatroom as part of the website.
I WANT TO WISH ALL OF YOU, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. BE SAFE OUT THERE. ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS.
One thing I see over and over again here, and on every other social media site are CD's looking for a "Daddy" or a Mistress to transform them. Realistically, no one is going to take you in, clothe you, feed you and pay for your transformation, especially in this day and age.  You are going to have to work your ass off and do it yourself.  Strive to hone your makeup shills and make youself pretty and desirable. The fantasy of being transformed and kept as a sex"slave" with no responsibilities other than being available for use is a wonderful one, but just that, a fantasy. Try starting off with a  skill set that might set you off from the crowd, even if it is only domestic service. There is so much more to being a service maid than teetering around in 6 inch heels and dusting. My requirements are even more demanding. But the rewards can be great as well.
Mentioning the age is off limits here but my training lasted 8 years and was my first sexual experience.  I knew I had to keep quiet about it but it was the only thing positive going on in my life in those years.  Life at home was miserable; girls weren't interested because I'm so short.  I couldn't compete in sports even if I had wanted to.  But 2 or 3 afternoons every week I learned more and more about how to overcome my height deficit and be useful and likeable for men.   From day one, it was drilled into me to keep my hands and my mind on him, not on myself.  That was the most important part when training for sexual submission.  To this day, I will not touch myself when anyone is using me.  It's all about my partner and their pleasure, about keeping all the energy moving toward them.
Does anyone else crave a connection that is so deep and powerful that it feels like a life line that can't exist without it that connection?  It is something that i crave in the very cell of my being. I am looking to feel it is as though it makes my heart beat or helps air fill my lungs. Online that can be very hard to do as we are not phyisically around each other to get that feeling. Online it is though connection in words or hearing each other voices. I need to find my future Partners that need connections as much as I do. That want and need to be together as much as possible.  I know that  we all have lives and that the world around us can keep us busy. When I am getting to know someone and willing to see where it goes, maybe i am unrealistic but i try to be on this site or other places where we have made a connection to communicate and wait around and respond as quickly as i recieve it or can respond because it is like a lifeline to me to help my heart beat or my lungs take breaths to stay alive. I get frustrated and i have lashed out in my frustration when other's don't do the same things i guess because i feel actions are stronger than words. In me responding quickly is showing that i am taking it seriously and wishing to put in the work to see if this will work out. If not i try to at least wish them the best of luck in finding the one that will make them feel the way i need and crave the connection as well.  
A bit of a rant here but Men SUCK!   They are selfish, rude, inconsiderate and far, far too unreasonable.   I fully see and understand why so many women are weary and overwhelmed and just done with men online so often.I have said before i'm pansexual.   Over the past year, I have spoken with several men.   I wouldn't call them Doms as their actions don't warrant the term.   I am learning that Most men fall into one of 3 categories.  Most, but not all.   Most of whom have spoken to me anyways.   And at least one, but many of the many fall into all 3.1 - very very very sexual.  So very sexual focus even when I push and try to talk 'relationship'.   Having no desire or interest of talking likes or hobbies, or what they like to do for fun(besides sexual comments) and usually very quickly stearing the conversation back to sex or kink.2 - very very very unreasonable.I understand the desire to move quick and to not string things along.   I'm more than willing to meet for coffee the same day if it works out and you are 30 min or an hour away or so depending on circumstances.   I HAVE before.But most men online that I speak to are much further away.One after speaking for 2-3 days kept asking nonstop about trying to make plans to meet.   I offered to videochat(I know, but if done the RIGHT way it's like taling over dinner or coffee at a coffeeshop)(almost a Must to establish and maintain anything long distance without a lot of money invested in travel)Bit he didn't want to videochat.  Just make plans and set up a flight(paid for by me) in the next couple weeks or month or so.   I didn't lead him on, was honest and upfront, and frankly..  after 2-3 days?!?Another after a week started active planning a trip, HALFWAY across the country(1500 miles away), to come pick me up and take me to a new forever home with him about a month later.  He also gave me a list of rules and to call him Master and wanted to be very controlling of me very overnight, after a week of talking.(disappointing as he was one of the few that wasn't all sex)Among others....3 - Petty, rude, insulting, almost bipolar when they get pushback.I try not to ever be rude.   But saying no, or i'm not interested, or in the case of the 1500 mile man I was very polite and didn't push baco other than saying this is all moving too fast, i'm overwhelmed and can we please slow down some so we can get to know each other better first.   Plus I'd like to meet at least once(if not more) before upending my life to move to you.  Can we look at setting up a meeting instead first?   His reaction?   call me some names and block me on everything.  Like what?!?But it seems like blocking is very common as it happens over the slightest thing.   Send a pic?  block.(not always, but it has happened)  I say no, can we talk more, i'm not interested, can we go slow, or even once "i'm not really into country music"   almost always block.     The one rare case?   he kept messaging and emailing me for weeks, even after I told him we wouldn't be a match and i'm not interested.it's so very exhausting.....  MEN -  Do better.  Be better.   Be honest, be truthful.  and don't be afraid.   Like I would stalk someone who told me off?   no, i'd just move on.  but be polite and respectful about it.  not rude and insulting...
I am sometimes amazed at the ignorance demonstrated by some.   In this case, it is from someone who was blocked by Me.  Recently, some months since I made that decision and took that action, I was messaged again by that person, new ID.   Before blocking the new ID, I made sure I was right on identifying the person and relayed to them they were not showing Me respect, but being self centered instead.  Their reply made it obvious they did not understand the concept of respect. If you are a sub, looking for a Dominant, please make sure you know the difference.
aged 67 now, 160lb, retired, still a closeted submissive seeking Couple, Domme or Dom.  
I guess the thing to do is Post the resupts to this, so here it is.  Can't say I believe it is really accurate becuse there were many statments that had more than one statemement within them, and I agrees 100% with only half the statement... The quandry of my brain lol.  I mean, if anyone who is following my journals, read the entry right before this one, you know I am 100% NOT 66% Masochist lol == Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Submissive  97% Brat  66% Masochist  64% Rope bunny  57% Vanilla  52% Degradee  47% Experimentalist  45% Primal (Prey)  33% Exhibitionist  31% Slave  12% Pet  0% Daddy/Mommy  0% Rigger  0% Voyeur  0% Switch  0% Sadist  0% Ageplayer  0% Owner  0% Non-monogamist  0% Master/Mistress  0% Boy/Girl  0% Dominant  0% Degrader  0% Brat tamer    0% Primal (Hunter)   
How Manipulation Begins I had begun conversing with a gent a few days ago. He asked me how my night was or some conversation starter.  I dont typically respond to  emails with no photos, but thought I'd take a chance (in other words, I thought it was safe to let my guard down.)  It was midnight and I was getting  ready for bed.  He stated he wanted to continue chatting , at a later date.  I sent him my Google number if he wanted to text freely.  🚩I didn't receive a goodnight text, which automatically let me know he's a ghost. He's clearly scamming or cheating.   In his response, he states wants to get to know me.  However, he wants to "spoon til morning--that's creating s false sense of intimacy. This is why you need to pay attention, regardless of gender.    His follow-up was just as manipulative.   He didnt apologize for sending mixed signals,  nor did he take responsibility for the confusion.    Be Safe Out There!   I was not ignoring you my dear beautiful Miss, I was search for my archives of pictures so I could share another one with you. Thank you for your number I hope you don’t mind but given the vulnerability I feel in sharing pictures can we keep the correspondence here until and longer friendship is formed. I hope you don’t mind this. And of course I was always going to say goodnight sweet Miss. How much I would love to change now into something satiny and spoon you till morning  
My profile is my kink.  My ideal relationship is just this kink.  Only breast use and treating my breasts as your personal cum rags.   I'm really not into oral or penetrating sex. Searching for that one in a million guy who just wants to abuse and cum on my tits in the context of a long term relationship. It would be cool if he was local too.  As I recently moved back to Northern Virginia and don't wish to another big move for a few years  
i ache to please a need to feel Owned i yearn to serve a possession i long to worship be an object i need to submit
I just put two cakes in the oven. I made two yesterday, they're for an event. The yesterday cakes are covered in cling wrap to keep them moist (MOIST), sitting on the counter. Get this morning's first cake poured into the pan, look up the recipe for the second one on my phone. I gather ingredients and start dumping things into a bowl. Check the measurements on my phone, then set my phone down on the cooked and wrapped cake.  Only it wasn't the cooked and wrapped cake. It was the very wet batter I only just poured, and while this registered in my head I watched my phone sink straight down into it. Yep. Sigh. 
Misty mornings may multiplyBringing bashful beginnings beforeThe tainted teasingsOf our ocularEyes. Everything else evolves, evenLife. Love listfully lingers like lust...Bursting bubbles beneath boiling basesOf our ocular omens:Misty mornings. Mayi idle in idolizationOfYou~ dirtydarling
Mother nature is a tease. As a female it's her right, but the glimpses of warmth swiftly replaced by brutal winds and frigid temperatures made me an unhappy girl. This week though, you guys, spring is springing. Fifties and gentle sixties. Sunshine. I'm excited! In entire anticipation and devotion, I shed my leggings and shaved off the neanderthal level of leg hair. Alright, just up to the knee, but don't tell. I might even paint my toes, it's that kind of a day. I love hope. It's like a secret pocket of happiness in your heart that you can choose to share or keep just to yourself. I chose to share it with you. Today is beautiful. 
Sorry to say but no I do not have things like kik, Skype, hangouts or anything similar and no I am not giving out my email address. Messages asking for these or giving me your info will just be ignored.   I also do not consent to being sent phone numbers, I'm not stupid enough to call random strangers  If you are NO WHERE near or in North Carolina then don't bother messaging me, I'm not interested and it clearly says so in my profile but I know so many can't read. 
NEW!!  THE MEDIEVAL DUNGEON - ITALY The Medieval Dungeon is fully equipped with suspended bed, stocks, St Andrew’s Cross and full length spanking bench and bondage table and more. There is plenty of opportunity for play, pleasure and pain! The Medieval Boudoir is also available with two beds should you wish to chill out away from the Dungeon area. There is even plenty of space on the grounds for BDSM outdoor play and camping if it's your thing freedom and privacy guaranteed. The Medieval Dungeon is available to be booked for long decadent weekends or you can tailor your retreat to suit yourself by arrangement from the end of March. BDSM * CFNM * Domination * Flogging * Discipline * Corrective Therapy * Bondage * Spanking * & much more…bondage table so there will plenty of opportunity for play, pleasure and pain! IM HERE TO BOOK YOUR TIME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL RETREAT I shall be inresidence from the 26th March should you wish to visit me.   
Because my domestic situation is complicated, there are periods when my relationship with my Master has to go on to autopilot.   We leave messages for one another on Skype, but live chat, and me dressing for Him on Skype are impossible.   After a week when W/we talked regularly and I had almost complete freedom to live my slave life and develop that aspect of my being under <aster's guidance, it's quite dislocating to be locked so firmly into my fake life again.
Where does one begin to find a subject for a journal entry, when one does not ordinarily journal? This being a lifestyle site, i find reading others profiles and journals is akin to going out and finding people at munch's or parties and getting to read their minds. Journals are where so many post their / our thoughts and desires. I suppose it's the desires that many post, if they aren't just sounding off on all that vexes them. W/we all want to find someone to belong to or belong with. (which side of the / do W/we live). I have mentioned in many posts, not just here, but in the rare journal or diary entries scattered through the devices i have owned, that i found the collar from this site. or when it was Collarme at the time. The time belonging to and growing again as a person, not just as a submissive,were the most special of my life. Finding joy in your life is important. How we find that joy varies immensely. my own discovery of belonging to someone (at that time a couple) gave me back a spark of joy that has carried me to where i am in the local community. Do not lag in finding joy! I see many who live in their fantasy only in their minds, not realizing that all we desire and hope for is out there. Waiting for us to find it, accept it and be thankful for it becoming part of our life.  my own cravings for certain activites are again looking for an outlet. This is not a plea, just putting out there that a willing bondage subject and, now out of the closet, cross dresser, hopes to find people who, together, we can enjoy something together. That's about all for now. Be safe out there and feel free to reach out to those you find interesting or want to learn more from. @}-- Sister Ida aka boytom
I know what I want and willing to train, teach and discipline...not in position to support you as I am on SSI and have roommates..what I am looking for are roommates to relocate to North Bend/Coos Bay Oregon..we would have to get OUR own place...you MUST be willing to live 24/7 as female if not one already..you have a dream and so do I that is turning you into very feminine classy sophisticated woman outside the house and a cum loving bitch behind closed doors...understand this will be poly household with ONLY one DOM..have been on here under various aliases...NO photos showing butt plugs or stubbie or you will be blocked....current photos showing you in favorite outfits...so that you know my training techniques take between 18 months to 3 years to complete ,,,I ask for serious commitment after we have gotten to know on another.....I am very assertive, very aggressive, very controlling and have a habit of micro managing but chalk that up as being  Dom,,,,what type of foundation has been laid for me to build OUR house on?
So it's been nearly a year since I last posted a journal entry, oh how we bore of new toys so quickly! Or in the case of the CS journals old toys returned to us as if new.   I have not been on CS much recently, mostly because lots of other things have been going on but as I find myself moving into the slow period again, and dragged back to the uneven pleasure of finding someone to love and punish.   Unsure when I will once again gather up the will power to use this toy again, I leave you with a quote from Patrick Kavanagh, look him up folks, he was a bit of a rouge; Lost the long hours of pleasure All the women that love young men. O can I stilll stroke the monster's back Or write with unpoisoned pen.
i know You didn't fathom my affinity,or maybe couldn't or wouldn't facethe fabulous fabrication of my feelingswhen i fumbled over You.But i know You saw me.And that was enough in myself to feel like flying.~ dirtydarling
Vanilla interests/conversation starters. I am not looking for a hook up, I am looking for a connection. Also, I'll still respond to small talk if you are respectful, it's just that I honestly dont understand the point of small talk on a dating site. If the point is to find your person, let's get out of the shallow end and get into some deep thought provoking conversation, actually get to know each other, right? I am the type of person who gets a stronger social charge from deeper conversation. Small talk drains my energy. I think it's vital to a healthy relationship to be able to support each other's interests, too.  Psych Honestly, just about any topic within psych I could have a conversation on, or want to learn more about.  History What gets my interest is the stuff that you have to dig a little to learn about. I'm not as interested in the same old topics that we have been talking to death for years. I want to talk about the stuff I dont know about. I want to share the things you didn't know about. I want us both to share thoughts and have a conversation we haven't had with anyone before. Think about things we never pondered on before. Something more original as opposed to the same old regurgitated bs. Religion I am not religious myself, but I do like to learn about religion. It tells you a lot about people, history, and social psychology. Really, I just like to learn about people. The history of people. Genetics, DNA, human migration. Again, this one is really just learning about people Politics This one obviously is a touchy subject, it's easier having these conversations with people of similar views and a literate mind.I will talk politics with an opposing view, but once it moves past a debate, where both sides are talking but no one is being heard, that's the point I walk away.  I am interested in psychology and history, with politics too. Things like Machiaveli.  As I have said before, you are also welcome to share your interests and see if there is enough mutual interest to have a good conversation. I am also open to talking just to talk, If I am on here, it's likely I dont have anything better going on anyway. 
  MistressVN: bi, 40 years BDSM experience.   164 cm, 53 kg, blonde with long hair, green-blue eyes. Feminine, elegant, classy, ESTJ (The Supervisor) personality type.   I am searching for a slave for 24/7, TPE, FLR serious, permanent live-in relation.   I AM A MISTRESS SEEKING A SLAVE, NOT A DOM SEARCHING FOR SUBMISSIVE!!!   5 basic traits for a candidate to meet the criteria of a slave:   Honest Devoted Pleaser Industrious Altruist   To be My slave, you also need to be social and single.   Check your personality type on Truity.com and let Me know your four letter combination type.   Check the above in order to save time for both parts. If any of the mentioned is not part of your character, you should move on.   With this said: read carefully below and I mean carefully, because I will know if you did as soon as you contact Me.   I am clean, disease free and expect the same from you.   Bondage, dildos, dominance are some of the activities I will make you part of, you will wear chastity belt and will be totally submitted to Me.   HOWEVER, THE MAIN FOCUS WILL BE ON SERVICE!!   I accept obedient novice who has the will to serve. Ideal Person:   Committed Genuinely submissive,   Organized and disciplined slave for personal services, 24/7 live-in,   permanent/long term relation. Obedient Healthy Ready to relocate within reasonable time You are into BD (bondage & domination) but not into hard SM.   Position open ONLY for long term/PERMANENT slave!!!   Kindly READ BELOW and CONSIDER, BEFORE you write to Me:  
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Slave 100% Rope bunny  96% Submissive  91% Masochist  89% Non-monogamist  86% Pet  83% Brat  80% Experimentalist  79% Degradee  71% Voyeur  62% Primal (Prey)  43% Exhibitionist  34% Vanilla  3% Ageplayer  0% Daddy/Mommy  0% Rigger  0% Owner  0% Master/Mistress  0% Sadist  0% Boy/Girl  0% Dominant  0% Switch  0% Degrader  0% Brat tamer  0% Primal (Hunter) 
It occurred to me in one of my edits, I forgot to reattach my HIV transparency notice.  Important to keep on here not only for general education but for potential partner notification as well.    I have been HIV positive undetectable since 2000. I've been on medication for it since 2001, and I've had an undetectable viral load ever since then. I am NOT contagious. As long as I take my one pill a day, I can't possibly share HIV with anyone. This is no longer the scary thing that it was in the 1980's, as long as you are on medication. Here's the science behind it: http://aumag.org/2018/08/07/partner2-study-confirms-undetectable-equals-untransmittable/
Since it is difficult to edit the Profile here, I will put most of my information into the Journal.If it is in ALL CAPS it means I have done this and am willing to do again, everything else I am interested in or willing to do or try.     ANAL SEXASS PLAYASS WORSHIP AtM                         BEGGING         BLINDFOLDS    BODY WORSHIP         BONDAGE                 Cages         CANDLE WAXCanes and CROPS         Chastity         CLOTHED FEMALE NAKED MALECLOTHED MALE NAKED MALE                 Cock and Ball Torture, CLAMPS, etc.COLLAR AND LEASH        Cross Dressing         Dildos (HANDHELD & Strap-ons)DOMESTIC SERVICE         Electrical Play         Electrotorture (EMS TENS units)Enemas         Eye Contact Restrictions         FACE FUCKFACESITTINGFEM DOMFOOD PLAYFOOT WORSHIP         FORCED BI         GAGSGINGER, FIGGINGHair Pulling         Hairbrush SpankingsHANDCUFFS SHACKLESHoods         HOUSEWORK SERVICE        HUMILIATIONICE CUBESInterrogation Role PlayJockstraps & UNDERWEAR used as a gagKidnapped Role Play         LICKING  MALE DOMMassage (GIVING)         MASTURBATIONMouthsoaping    Object Role Play    Open Mouth GagsORAL INTIMACY        ORAL SEXORGASM CONTROL AND DENIAL        OTK SPANKINGSOUTDOOR BONDAGE         PISS and scat play (Scat needs discussion.)Predicament Role Play         PUPPY Role Play         RIMMINGROLE PLAYING        Role Play CHATROUGH SEXSENSORY TOYS        Shaved Pubic Hair                  SPANKING/PADDLINGSPEECH CONTROL         SPITTINGSPREADER BARSStockings         STRAP & BELTTOYS & VIBRATORS                  WATERSPORTS    WHIPS     MY LIMITSThese are Hard Limits!  I am not willing to be pushed on these.No Under Age:  No one under 18!No Drugs: Of any kind, this includes poppersNo Blood: Yours or Mine!No Diseases or Similar:  Condom for anal unless you have a RECENT test results.No Asphyxiation or Breath PlayNo Cuts, Burns, Brands or Tats (On me!)No Injuries: I mean no broken bones, insertions (Sounds, etc) or ANYTHING that may require a trip to the ER!No Punching or Kicking:No Permanent Marks:  Nothing that will last more then a day or three. This INCLUDES writing and drawing on me!No Head or Body Shaving:No Public Play: Too many CC cameras and cell phones out there.  I do not want to be arrested or see myself on TV or the internet.No Pictures or Video, Live Feeds etc that show my face or identity.Though I am single, I cannot Host but can manage travel within reasonable distances.
Today I learned: red crown in a yellow circle: female dominants ying/yang symbol: female and transgender switches a black whip with pink marks: female and transgender submissives triskele symbol: male switches, submissives and dominants nothing: couples   I am not sure of what these little symbols near usernames on profiles are for other than being cutesy, but at least I have amused myself briefly. 
it is hard, likely impossible, to overstate how amazing I truly am.  Beautiful. Intelligent. Intuitive. Sensual. Lustful. Perfection is not a sufficient word. once you have had a taste, I will run through your soul forever.  There are many who know and cherish this gift, and they are fulfilled in ways they could not possibly have imagined through their enslavement to Me. And yet, I always hunger.   Any and all gender queer persons are invited to come for worship and for a Venom infusion.  
Im Back into feminization, tho it's a tough time and go of it. It's just I have always had this feeling of being born into the wrong gender. Don't get me wrong I'm all male. But I fantasize about what it would be like to be female.  Recently I have out my cock back into chastity. Which I consider my clit and i have purchased an anal diolatar set and have been training my asshole nownmy pussy to strech out. i also have a dilod that I use to penitetrae my pussy on and get use to building up the sensation and tolerance to the friction my pussy can take.  It's hard doing it solo and not having the motivation from another to keep training on a regular basis. Sometimes I hit a wall and don't feel like continuing. It makes me feel more feminine and sissy like. The end goal being only able to cum or orgasm through anal means. While still being locked in chasitity. Currently I'm on day 60 in chastiity and on my 3rd sized diolatar plug. Some times I fall asleep with it still inside me. 
  What is meant by online friends? An internet relationship is a relationship between people who have met online, and in many cases know each other only via the Internet. Online relationships are similar in many ways to pen pal relationships.    
slave knows no gender, has no expectations, lives to please its betters, keeps its Owner always in mind, knows and expresses gratitude among other things. The slave reading this probably feels inadequate with out the ability to ever 'measure up.' And, well it should. However, I have never found a slave that adequately fills the above list of particulars. So, I expect to devote much energy and time to training; maybe a life time. Do not worry about coming to Me as a finished, accomplished slave. Rather, come to Me with an abiding need to be subsumed in devotion and service. Everything else can follow. Master James
I'm not satisfiedIt's all or nothingThere's no peace of mind for meAnd even though I tryMy greedy heart is hungryI'm not satisfied, you see? I'm not satisfiedI'm lost and emptyThere's no reason why, you see?And I could live a thousand livesAnd I know I won't be happyI'm not satisfied with me
It was way too soon to be sodomized the first time someone tried.  I just couldn't take it.  It hurt so much that I avoided anal sex until I was in my early 50s.  Realizing how many years I wasted being afraid turned me into the eager slut I am now.  It's true.  I can't speak for anyone else but I have heard this happens to a lot of betas.  Anymore when anyone fucks me I lose all sense of manhood and experience a surge of femininity until they finish, sometimes even longer now.  It feels so right but it doesn't last like I want it to.  I'm sure the day is coming when I'll remain a gurl permanently. There are Doms and Dommes here who want submissives like me to feminize and control.  I might be the ideal one to serve you long term and live-in. So, please tell me, how can I serve you?  How do you see me fitting into your household and improving your life?  
This success of this site is based on transparency. You're a 52 year old dominant man in Miami who lives for NASCAR and wax play. Super. Got it. In my opinion, the level of effort you put into your profile directly relates to your commitments. It's so odd to see someone say that it takes forever for profiles to update so they take the lazy approach and update a journal entry. Yep, I said it. Lazy. Dom or sub, doesn't matter. You've gone to the trouble of creating a profile to find someone for whatever reason. Now you aren't willing to commit to the effort it takes to update for accuracy. The only effort needed is a bit of patience. Patience to adjust your information. Patience to adapt your description to make you more interesting, or at least approachable. I'll write more later... No, you won't. Someone who might be looking for exactly you is going to pass you by because now you're 56 and moved to Sheboygan but won't update so they'll never see it. You're shooting yourself in the foot. Not that anyone asked me. 
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  100% Primal (Prey)  100% Switch  94% Brat  87% Submissive  84% Voyeur  83% Rope bunny  79% Rigger  79% Experimentalist  76% Degradee  71% Dominant  67% Degrader  67% Primal (Hunter)  63% Masochist  57% Brat tamer  54% Sadist  54% Pet  45% Owner  45% Exhibitionist  39% Slave  37% Vanilla  37% Non-monogamist  21% Master/Mistress  3% Daddy/Mommy  0% Boy/Girl  0% Ageplayer     
  A mediocre Dominant tells.   A good Dominant teaches.   An excellent Dominant explains.   A true Dominant inspires.  
Essay on the three types of Dominants as percieve us to behave and act. Dominants fall into three general categories, Authoritarian, Democratic, and Equalitarian. Each category has its sub counterpart. Because these are generalities each category has many variations. What these variations may be are left up for you to conclude. The Authoritarian Dom:  Rules with absolute power and total control. He makes all of the decisions and there is no questioning by the sub of what is asked or what is done. The only recourse a sub may have, if allowed, is a “safe” word. Generally there are little or no limitations binding the Dom. The subs attracted to these relationships are the “slave” submissive. The sub that wishes to be totally controlled. This form involves the voluntary surrender both emotionally and physically on the part of the sub. Generally the limits are pushed through heavy S&M activities. Some of the strongest relationships exist within this category. The couples that live a 24/7 D/s relationship are usually found in this realm. Unlike with the Democratic Dominant, there are no long training sessions to affect certain behavior. Things are done with no negotiations, limits are pushed and both parties accept this. The feeling of closeness and coupling is generated by the relinquishing control and the wielding of (almost) absolute power. This Dom’s implements (toys if you prefer) are usually highly crafted, sometimes intricate, wielded both with proficiency and effectiveness. The Dominants are skilled in their use and their sub is generally highly skilled at receiving the results. The implements developed by the Authoritarian’s are often borrowed in kind by Dom’s in other types of D/s relationships. It can be a profound and sobering experience for someone not yet familiar with this type of domination to watch an Authoritarian scene. Authoritarian Domination is what is usually referred to as “real”, when D/s aficionados use the term real, this is of what they are speaking. This type of D/s is not only S&M but encompasses a wide variety of  D/s conventions and behaviors. This is the generally accepted and also the stereotypical definition of BDSM. Remember that this is only the stereotypical definition of “real”. Authoritarianism is only one ect or area of D/s. So “real” is what you are involved in and feel comfortable with and not what others do.  
November 16, 2023 - Horny Bi Guy's FIRST VISIT PART ONE A new guy stopped by today. He is a horny bi Guy from a town about an hour or so away from me. He is definitely a HORNY Bi GUY ! He is already asking for another visit. We had talked a while on FETLIFE about his fantasies, so he knew what to expect today. Plus he had been reading my stories, THESE stories, which all seemed to excited him. I knew he was into leather, so had a treat for him. When he arrived he found me in a very long terry cloth bathrobe. I probably looked like a monk. But I had a surprise hidden under the bathrobe, but he was not going to get to see it YET. I met him in the driveway since it was his first visit and brought him inside. Within a few seconds I was ordering him to strip… which he complied to immediately. I put velcro wrist restraints on him and told him to kneel. Once he was kneeling on the floor in front of me, I put a leather hood over his head, making certain his mouth appeared in the opening. I knew my cock would be going through that hole very shortly.   read the next part at www.SirKel.top
I'm an open book! Ask me anything! It seems on the surface to be a very friendly declaration. Maybe you think "Wow, anything!? How brave!" And perhaps they are being brave and truly would answer any question put to them. But my experience is different. When someone says "ask me anything," their contribution to getting to know each other frequently stops there except for answering direct questions asked of them. There is frequently no sharing of "more" or stories of "Oh, when that happened to me..." Instead the only things I learn are the things I ask directly. Which shifts the emotional burden of getting to know each other from "US" to "ME." And later on, if I didnt know something, the blame shifts to me for not having the forethought to ask, rather than it being on them for not volunteering relevant information, or better yet shared blame for not getting to know each other better before XYZ. My first marriage was to a man that I believe was and still is a compulsive liar. And one thing he did that was excruciating to me was NEVER volunteer information. It was a method of CYA (Cover Your Ass) so that if he had to cover something up, the less that was known the fewer things he had to cover or sweep under the rug. Trying to get information out of him was like pulling teeth. So I admit, when I see "I'm an open book!" I have a knee jerk reaction, but it is not solely based on the experience with my ex-husband. I have dealt with more than a handful of people with that mantra both online and off over the years and for the most part, they have similar traits. No volunteering information, only answer if asked, no sharing about experiences spontaneously, and only share as much information as necessary to cover the question. My advice (unsolicited, worth what you pay for it) if you use one of these phrases and you are sincerely trying to be open and brave, is this: 1.) Find another way to word it. Saying you are an open book triggers a knee jerk reaction in more people than just me. 2.) Take the time to realize what you would like to know about a potential partner in early getting to know each other stages 3.) Be prepared to offer the same information about yourself without waiting to be asked each specific piece of information before you share it. What this may look like: Hi I'm Elorin. "Hi, I'm Jim. Can you tell me a little about yourself?" Well, you found me on FetLife so you know I'm kinky. I've been into kink for over 20 years, I consider myself a Dominant Sadistic leaning switch and I like canes. You don't have to tell everything at one question. But you don't have to make them dig for pieces of information, either. I didn't volunteer information about my relationship status, the number of pets I have, or my sexual orientation. You can give that information as it comes up. But don't be of the mindset that you need to hoard your information anymore than that each question needs a two page info dump. Pace yourself, be open, and share equal and similar information to what someone shares with you. My $0.02 ~Me
A small disaster has occurred in my life. My Imac has quit on me. All it displays is a circle with a diagonal slash through it.   All of my files for the last 5 years have gone with the Mac. Can anyone help? I have taken it to a technician. This ‘expert’ has given up hope. He is so discouraged that he has stopped answering my text messages. Or maybe he has been revolted by some of the stuff he has seen on my other computer. Anyway, lots of S/m pictures and stories are gone.  I would be willing to pay someone to rescue my files. Are you the one? Do you know someone? Help.
1/14/26 You, as a submissive, should make the first move. I won't chase your submission. I only want a sub/slave that serves me because they feel I'm worthy of that service...not because they're scared or intimidated into it. If you want to see if we could work well together, then ask for me to email you The Form™️. I will ask anyone interested in serving me to fill out The Form™️, which is very much a job application. Since I'm on CS primarily to locate a long-term sub/slave, The Form™️ could be the most important job application of your life. It's big, it's detailed, it's invasive... and it's a test. If you're not up to completing it, then you're not up to handling me and the service I desire. But if you are, then buckle up and enjoy the ride! ;)   ~~Blue (=
I am not on here often, but I have met several lovely people over the years.  The best place to reach Me is on FetLife or bdsmlr.  If you are not familiar with those sites, you should check them out.  They are free and offer some fun visuals and opportunity for connection.  My FetLife profile is here. https://milkyandthegentlemenwriters.bdsmlr.com/ My job demands a great deal of My time, but it affords Me a chance to travel to many places to meet people.  The pandemic put a strain on everyone, and I hibernated a little, but I am ready to explore once more.  A word of advice:  if I offer to meet you, do not play coy.  I want to touch you, not simply chat online.  To watch your eyes widen, to hear your intake of breath and your sighs and moans, to feel you tremble.