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 | Phalanx86
| Hetero Male Dominant, 36, Liverpool, New York
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I genuinely dislike writing profiles. Either you write a book that people don't really read and is liable to give off all kinds of misinterpretations or your trying to hook people with some clever pithy thing.
I've been fascinated by power exchange and bdsm for many years. Everything about the topic is interesting to me and my own personal philosophy continues to develop over time.
Genuine passionate consensual submission is what I most look for.
I would much rather have a conversation and see if we have compatibility than to play the profile game.
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Building a Shared Language
Have you ever thought about the inherently flawed nature of language? What is the purpose of language?
At the most basic level language is the attempt to take what is in my mind and communicate it to your mind. Much like the phone game this process is always going to be extremely imprecise. Words are concepts. I'm going to take a string of concepts as I understand them add modifiers and conditionals and then you are going to interpret those based upon your understanding of those concepts and modifiers.
Take even the simplest of words. If I say a 'tree', basically everyone understands essentially what I mean but not exactly. There are many different kinds of trees, they look very different from each other, they have different characteristics and quirks, different kinds grow in different areas of the world. I'm am in a more rural environment than say NYC is. Something tells me my relationship to the word 'tree' is going to be much different from someone who grew up in an urban area. My mind makes different connections and ties different emotions, I'll picture something slightly different than every single person who hears me use the word.
That's just for a relatively objective word like tree. What happens when we start getting into more esoteric concepts. Submission, wow talk about a word that can have so many meanings, so many different emotions and thoughts around it. The internet has been great in so many ways but it has also created a sort of collective consciousness, many words have been loaded up with toxic baggage. I like to talk about breaking a sub, but I don't mean it in the way you keep hearing it, the way the last 20 toxic people have used it.
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I have long been fascinated by the basic concept of 'How'. How do I develop actual power over a sub. How do I instill a true mindset of submission or devotion. How do I get and keep control/power over a whole person. How do I actually mold someone, train them. How do I create an environment where I can unleash myself.
How do I get the results that I desire.
One thing I've learned is that people develop a core let's say picture of themselves. They develop this idea of who they are in their head, how does she talk, walk, dress, think, her desires, priorities, perceptions, etc etc. Once we have this image in our head this definition of who we are, our minds will do mental backflips to rationalize anything that might challenge this. There is an incredible inertia against any form of challenge or change. Even if you want to change, even if you want to be someone else, it's climbing a mountain.
I have met all too many submissive women who on the face of things are willing to do an endless litany of gross, dirty, rough things. Their minds then go through this incredible process of rationalization and narrative building to square that in a way that doesn't challenge their inner self. They will then balk at something incredibly simple that invades their non submissive compartmentalization.
One of the core pillars in my philosophy of dominance is to challenge her conception of herself. If I can subjugate your idea of who you are, I can move the real you in so many possible directions. Real power and dominance is not about how hard I can hit you or making you do the grossest things I can think of, it is about owning the idea of you. Once that is done the possibilities are endless.
Waiting is a bondage all of it's own
We understandably often focus on the flashier, more explosive, more dramatic, expressions of power exchange and bdsm. I would imagine many people when they were exposed to an alternate concept explored online. Obviously porn and much of what you'll find is going to showcase the most visually appealing elements, the most outrageous. We might get this idea in our head of something we desire and then we might spend years trying to find someone who matches us to even start to engage in it. We get impatient, we want to get to the 'good stuff'.
Slow everything down. Power, control, dominance, submission, these things are a mental/emotional experience, an alternate reality. The physical is simply how we express, create, maintain, and enjoy something that exists in our minds. My power over a woman is entirely based around her perception and belief that I have power over her.
There is a kind of serene intensity to the most simple but pure expressions of power between us. I thrive and love when I am in complete control of the pace of the experience. I want to be slow and deliberate. I like to take time to let things stew, to examine, to explore, to analyze. Punctuating that with moments of faster pace intensity creates a stark contrast and a rollercoaster that tears down her walls.
Don't underestimate the power of and presence that mental bondage and time can have. Having to take a position and just hold it. You can't pretend you are doing anything other than completely surrendering to me. Waiting is like water slowly eroding the cliff, eventually the water always wins.
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