Check my journal for any profile updates. It seems easier this way
Profile update with a journal entry vibe.
I have been hesitant to give a profile update because I don't know. I am still figuring it out. I'm not new, but things change. I still have a lot of the cravings, both for lifestyle and the kink, but I have changed, and so have my cravings. I'm sure, with the right partner, they will continue to change into something different than what they are now. I don't think vanilla will ever be something for me to return to, but the things I value in a BDSM relationship are changing.
I don't really care for the "alpha" chest puffing in the 24/7. Kink, though, that's a different story. I'm also not a slave. I am attracted to wisdom and knowledge, and not the kind that is faked by pretending to know everything, the kind that also isn't afraid to admit he might occasionally be able to learn from his sub, especially if he has found the right match. I want a connection where even if everything else fades, the kink, romance, there are two people who vibe well enough, that at the core of it, there is still a connection and bond of friendship. I still crave a power exchange, don't get me wrong, but I am looking for more of a mentor type relationship dynamic than a master type. I think the closest category that fits might be DDLG, but I admit, I also don't feel quite like little fits.
As I write this, I am coming up on a year of being single. A relationship that started with lifestyle, but no kink, faded into something more like a vanilla friendship, and had a bit of a rocky ending. My point in sharing this, though, is that although I am not new, I spent years in a relationship lacking of kink. My tolerance, both in kink and in 24/7 is low again. My cravings may grow as strong as they once were, one day, but I also feel like I have done a lot of growing up over the years, and I have developed some vanilla cravings. It's no longer healthy for me to give all of myself until it's gone, as one example. These are the things I am still trying to sort out. How the remaining kink and lifestyle cravings fit in with what I no longer want. I am hoping to find someone who aligns with what I am craving at the moment, who wouldn't be afraid to do a little growing, both as a person and as an exploration of kink, but this person is going to need to be someone who is comfortable with boundaries and limits while I figure this out.
For now, this is where I am.
Edit to add 1-1-2026
I am not willing to relocate outside of traveling distance. I am not a person who does well with big changes, so this one is a big boundary. I am not close minded to something long distance, but it would reqire a lot of negotiating and trust. I am past the age where I want to start a family, living with a partner isnt that important, but other things are. So distance isnt a disqualifier, it just takes a lot of communication and some extra work. But I won't relocate.
Because great minds are diverse, bonus points if you are neurologically diverse. Message me with your current hyperfocus/special interest.
At least the turkey is getting tied up and stuffed this year. Someone should be. lol
Happy Turkey Day
"I don't want it, I just need it, to breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.'
