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BDEssum
Hetero Female, Georgia 
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BDEssum

Update - while I appreciate all the messages, I am absolutely not interested in online domination / virtual domination or a long-distance relationship. And yes, I realize that I might be 'missing out on the one' by ruling out men who don't live in Georgia. But I know myself well enough to know that frequent and routine physical interaction is vital for my success as submissive. I don't do well as free-range sub. Lol.  

Please read my journal entries before messaging me. 

Hello - thanks for checking out my profile.

I've been 'in the lifestyle' for years - but only off-and-on.

Thanks to my 'old-fashioned' and 'submissive ways' ... I tend to shy away from actively seeking a Dom. I think I've been laboring under the 'he will find me' fairy tale.

I don't have trouble finding 'vanilla' partners ... but I don't feel 'fulfilled' in these 'vanilla' relationships ...

The few times I've tip-toed into trying to 'put myself out there' - I encountered a lot of "Dominants" who were seeking immediate and total control (with loaning out scenarios - no judgments - but that's one of my hard limits and I always state that upfront), wanting poly-situations, etc ... 

So I wind up going back to 'safe' or 'vanilla' relationships.

I'm an introverted personality - but I enjoy spending time one-on-one. My ideal partner is sweet and 'old-fashioned,' firm, protective (which some people seem to confuse with 'controlling'), a great sense of humor - but with a sadistic streak. I guess I want the guy that will bring me a bouquet of roses - then - after enjoying his home-cooked meal, put me on my knees and whip me with the thorny stalks. Lol.

I'm looking for a Dominant male.

I am not opposed to cultivating friendships with female submissives and couples to attend events and cultivate frienships with people in the lifestyle. 

Let me be clear -

  • this is not secret code for 'open to playing with couples'
  • this is not secret code for 'open to joining a poly-family'
  • this is not secret code for 'open to whatever if you have a lot of money.' 

At this stage, I know myself well enough, to know that if I love my Dom - which is my goal - I am absolutely not going to be happy or fulfilled in a a poly situation or swing dynamic.  I'm adding this 'disclaimer' because I know that the 'kink scene' here (at least in Atlanta) is very heavily poly-driven / swinger-driven.  Combine that with my general introvertedness ... means I like the idea of attending events with like-minded 'kinksters' - it's less scary / daunting.  

12/6/2021 12:49:54 AM: I've been trying not to add any new journal entries because I don't think people really read them. But I don't want my profile to be super long (especially since the punctuation gets removed), so I'm going to add this journal entry AND put a note in my profile to refer to it.  1) I am very appreciative of the people who send a quick, complimentary note. As I'm sure everyone on this site is aware, there are more men than women, so if I don't respond - it's not because I'm rude - or I don't think you're attractive - more than likely it means that a) you are not local or b) I saw something in your profile that indictated that we are not a match. At first, I was trying my best to respond to every seemingly sane person how messaged me, but I simply don't have the bandwidth to do that AND respond to people who genuinely might be a match.  2) I was on this site once before YEARS AGO, or it's former iteration, collarme, and I left the site when I found a match. I trained with that particular Dom until he moved away and while I didn't move away with him, we remained friends, so I had fond memories of this site. After that D/s relationship, I tripped and stumbled back into a vanilla relationship. My photos are new, but I don't think I look SO very different that anyone I conversed with wouldn't recognize me. Maybe I'm delusional, so let me be fully transparent, my former screen name was sweetlucky7's. I have noticed that some of the Doms messaging haven't updated their photos since that time ;-).  But I digress. If you and I conversed a decade ago and it didn't go well, and you 'recognized' me and you've reached out to me again - with a new profile name and no photos - please don't waste time with some sort of weird vendetta. In that same vein - I'm also on Fetlife and my photos are the match the photos here on my profile. So if we didn't hit it off on Fetlife. Then you saw me here and decided to message me ... Please don't. This is a waste of time for us both. This leads me to my final point. 3) If, for some reason, you have multiple profiles on this site - and you message me from both profiles. Or, even worse, I block you on one profile and you then message me from the other profile, or if I blocked you on FetLife, please ask yourself, 'What is your end game here?' I am a stranger to you. If we are not a match, that just means that we are not a match. It doesn't mean you're awful. It doesn't mean I'm awful.  There's no need to send me crazy messages or warn me that 'I don't know what I'm missing out on.' Remember the old adage, 'the best thing you can do to someone who doesn't appreciate you ... is to remove yourself from that person's life. This loss will sting the most.'  Also ... if you're messaging me from two different profiles to try to figure out if I'm 'juggling men on the site' or 'lying about who I am' - I think that a) you might have some unrealistic perceptions about how online dating works - communicating with multiple people as part of a general veting process is typical; and b) the need for this type of subterfuge is good indication that your basic trust issues might mean  you're not a good candidate for online pursuits (kink or vanilla). Even if we aren't a match - I wish you all the best of luck in your search!

11/22/2021 9:40:05 PM: Thanks to anyone who takes the time to view my profile and send a message. I ask, respectfully, that you please, please, pretty please not send me messages with 'Domly' (lol) or humiliating language.  I am not your submissive at this stage and it's insulting to us both to use this sort of language in an initial conversation. Let's be pleasant and polite and courteous, please.  I'm referring to messages with text like 'Hello slut' or 'Nice udders, whore.' I'm not offended by this type of language - but I don't find it flirty or charming and it definitely derails any chances we have for actual communication.  

11/22/2021 9:32:33 PM: Some of my messages are getting redundant - so I'll post answers to my commonly asked questions here - My bra size is 38G or 38DDDD - a 38G and 38DDDD are the same size - depends on manufacturer which way they choose to list it.  Yes. I like pain. It's one of the many aspects of BDSM that I enjoy. Despite the photos, and despite the fact that I have had a fair amount of experience with impact play and corporal punishment, I do not have a lot of experience with extreme pain.   I'm located in metro-Atlanta, specifically Marietta. No - I am not willing or able to relocate. No I am not interested in long-distance / virtual to start with Dom re-locating if we are good match. I am not equipped for virtual submission. I don't have any children and do not want to have any children at this stage of my life.  I am willing to be friends with couples but I do not want to serve a couple or become a subsister to your wife or existing submissive or slave.  Hope this helps. 

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tortureme26
 
 Age: 40
 ST Louis, Missouri