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johnxinxscruz
Hetero Male, 52, Sacramento, California 
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johnxinxscruz
Im a nurturing and playful Dominant, like a father figure in how I deal with my authority.In other parts of my life, I tend to be interested in history, computers, cooking, sometimes hockey, and have recently started wine tasting. I work in IT in the past that has included a couple universities. Right now I work for an online service. Im also a dog owner. I used to mainly have big dogs, but something about dachshunds has managed to capture my attention. I also like cats, but thats something new (within the last 3 years).

If youd like to know anything more about me, just ask. I promise that I dont confuse Dom with Jerk. I have better manners than that. And, if it surprises you to get a mannered email from a Dominant, dont mistake manners for submission, either. Theres a time and a place for everything.
10/6/2015 11:37:08 AM: So, after 6.5 years, my little and I called it quits a month ago.  We're still good friends (she still lives with me; we make good housemates), and it was fairly mutual.  We just realized the 'couple' part of our relationship (both kinky and vanilla) had been over for a while.  The least drama-filled breakup I've ever been through.I'm not posting this as a 'poor me', just an update in my state-of-things.  Like I said, the relationship had been over for a while, I actually 'got over it' a while back.  This was just us both finally acknowledging it.

9/25/2014 12:53:34 AM: 'It’s not perfection of outcome of the task, it's being present in the moment of service with full devotion.'

7/29/2010 6:55:03 AM: I was just reading someone's profile, and saw this:Tell me what you are looking for, in all the messages I have gotten so far, everyone seems interested in what I want? Im not here looking for someone to allow me to top from the bottom, because my personality certainly will do that if allowed to.That sort of sets off a pet peeve of mine.  Communication is NOT "topping from the bottom".  It's informing your Dominant/Owner of your internal state.  It's fully yielding to, and opening up to, your Dominant.It's valuable for training: Positive reinforcement is much more effective than either punishment or negative reinforcement. If the Dom knows your likes, then they can much better reinforce your good behaviors by giving you something you like ... or withhold that thing you like to get you to avoid bad behaviors ... or bestow upon you things you don't like to get you to avoid bad behaviors.And, again, in order for that to work, they have to know what your likes and dislikes are.It's also valuable in the larger scope of relationship compatibility.  In order for _ANY_ long term relationship to work, vanilla or BDSM, both people have to have some compatibility. If you're looking for Gorean, and they're a Daddy Dom, then what you like is significant to the success of your slavery. If you want a heavily sadistic pain Dom, because you're a total pain slut, then ending up with a sensual Dom probably wont put you into a relationship you're going to want to stick with.At some point, both you and the Dom have to state what it is you want. It doesn't have to be exact, and you are certainly welcome to give up a lot of your own preference in your service (maybe that's what you want to have your desires quashed -- not a rare thing for a slave), but you two at least have to be on the same page, and headed in the same direction, in order for it to work.So, if you don't want your desires to matter, put that directly in your profile: If you really want or need to know what I want, I want my desires to be ignored. I want to be so thoroughly a slave that my desires don't matter. You will certainly get responses from a certain subset of Doms.  But even that is "you stating what you want", and is thus a valid question for a Dom to ask.But, like I said, the question itself isn't about topping from the bottom. It's about being sure that the owned and the owner are on the same page, and are headed in a similar direction.Even without that: if you're truly a slave (as she claims to be), then ANY question your Dominant asks you is a valid question, and your only valid answer is to answer truthfully.  Doing anything else is you holding out on your Owner.  The only "out" here is that these people aren't yet your owner.  But once someone is your owner, having them ask what you want isn't them letting you "top from the bottom".  Its them giving you an opportunity to fully submit to them by being fully open about what's in your mind.

11/7/2009 8:36:29 PM: so, since I wrote my last entry about my little, she's been out to visit two more times.  She was even out here for Folsom St. Faire (first time for both of us).Tomorrow, I fly to her.  She has already packed up the bulk of her stuff, and had it taken away by movers.  We'll get the last tid bits into a rental car, and drive back.  Then she'll be a live-in little, instead of a long distance little.:-)

3/31/2009 11:53:45 AM: http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/weird/SM-Whips-Couples-Into-Shape-Study.html Gist: S&M leads to tighter 'bonds' (no pun intended) between partners, and lower stess levels in the relationship. (which, I am sure, is not really news to many of you)

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