this  has gone beyond obssisive. 1 play session, ONE!  probobly nearly a decade ago.  sparadic but basic human courtiousy texts for a few years, then a decleration. that was  unwanted, desprate,and frightening.      both the men i respect and care for in the world forbid me from further comunication. two years i have ignored this person not responded to a single message. and now that i know my Master is going to leave, he thinks  i will break my promise to both my husband and my Master?  does he think that just because my Madter leaves  my husband will be fine with me seeung a clearly obsessed man? no . i do not feel the same as this person,  this scares me, this makes me angry, this makes me question if the lifestyle is worth it any more. i have been aproached by a convicted seriel killer once befor , ( the kc master/ slave killer) and listening to my gut kept me out of a barrel.   this feels worse

every few years i post some stuff. usualy when im feeling low. this is no diffrent. l'm sad. my Master, my owner, is leaving. not soon but maybe sooner then anticipated. i do not know what im going to do when he leaves.  i do not know if i will start plsying with others again, or just give up. my body is ruined, not due to playing or anything but just age and life. i have no cartilage in my knees,  my back always hurts, i can barely serve no matter how much i desire to. if my Master were in better shape health wise i wouldbe of utterly no use to him.  i feel pitifull and ill continue to for a while.  

Hmm, wow i anoyed you, because i disagreed with you, because i gave you every opportunity to drop the subject we agreed to disagree on, but refused to let you have the last word? Or was it because i turned your attempts to insult me back on you? cant take what you want to dish out. I wont message you again you cant message me. But acording to flame war rules i won. you Conceed defeate when u refuse to argue by refusing to speek to the person. Its the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ear and saying lalalala im not listening

 i  dumped my long term fb   a few weeks ago.  at first i was angry. he hurt me emotionally.  my friends keep saying that he will message me  that he will come back, but i know he wont. because this time I dumped HIM.  instead of him dumping me. his pride wont let him  ask me to take him back.   I keep telling my friends even if he did come and ask me to take him back i wouldn't.  he hurts me too much.  every  year  for the last  six, he has managed to pick a massive fight  and come up with a reason to stop seeing me.  this time i  decided i would be the one to end it.   two break ups ago,  he dumped me because i  committed an act of self harm in a weak moment , he claimed  that it showed  i didn't respect him, or his feelings about anything.   till that point in time i considered him a friend  on as well as an fb.  that  made me see something,  that even after 4 years of seeing each other,  and being there though his marriage,  and then though the divorce, all those years of listening to him  talk about  his ex,  and his child, and his job, and his parents and his brother,  meant nothing to him.   he abandoned me when i  was hurting,  and proved to me that while i had considered him a friend,  he didn't consider me one.   it took me two more years to categorize him from  friend to  fuck.  he didnt notice  that i shared less and less while seeing him.   he didn't notice  that i stopped texting him randomly to see how he was doing, i stopped baking for him.  i stopped doing  the little things i do when i care.     and  so when the last fight happened,  it was the last fight.   i am done with him.    i was angry for a little while.  now i am not angry,   just tired  of trying to explan to my friends  why he wont be back.  and tired of  still giving a shit. 

They say grave yards are full of discarded and dead dreams. What if u never dreamed?