(I cannot seem to get some my pictures to face the appropriate direction) If your a quick reader, or unconvinced this is worth reading the entirety. Than I have composed a quick summary following this caption you are currently reading. I am sexually submissive, and have been fighting it for a really long time, and I am not winning the fight. I am seeking any or all the following 1.) a FLR, or something similar 2.) a sexually dominant FEMALE partner, or FEMALE partner to gravitate with to this. 3.) any or combination of understanding supportive aware equal friendship 4.) either or both supportive constructive feedback. I am absolutely more than willing to switch. I feel as though its important, and fair to be flexible. Im not concerned about factors that are, or similar to age, looks, race, proportions. I believe in equality. However you must be a female by sex. Gender doesnt matter, (yes those words have two different meanings.) I have been working on writing this for awhile before posting, and I have so much more to say, but it feels like I cant say or write what my mind is thinking, and make coherent sense at the same time. Chances are if I dont hear back from somebody. I will continue to edit this. At this point I refuse to give up looking for what I am after. The following is all true. Big thanks to all the people that have led me to this place. To the reader, thank you for spending the next few minutes of your life reading this. I have been afraid to seek this out all my life, and I cant run from myself anymore. I just want to be happy for once in my miserable life. My name is Alex. I am 28 my birthday is August 3rd. I am 61 tall and weigh regularly between 165-175lbs. I reside in Vacaville. I am an only child from a small family unit. I like to go on hikes, and I like to go to shows. Havent been to anything lately. Im interested in going to school for waste water treatment or to become a brewmaster. Ive grew up, and lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood all my life. Being raised by working class parents. My mom worked for a credit union. My dad worked for pge and retired well. My parents separated when I was 12. I have no family on my fathers side besides him, and he hasnt had much part in my upbringing or my life. I used to go to his house after he, and my mom split, but the house he moved to was worse than anything Ive seen, and worse than you could imagine. It was nothing less than a biological health hazard. I was about 14, and I had to stop visiting my dad, because of this issue, and this was when he started to drink a lot more. My dad drinks, and sleeps with a junkie hooker, and I might get to hear from him once a month if Im lucky. There wasnt ever anybody my age in my neighborhood. Its practically a senior citizen neighborhood. My mom works a lot, and she was unable to recognize my developing social problem. Middle school was a piranha pool. Highschool wasnt any better. I went to a continuation highschool for 312 out of 4 years. If your not familiar with what that is I will explain briefly Its a highschool where truants, and kids that are suspended from the regular highschools go. I was there because I was at the age where I was making friends (so I thought), and I realized all to much what I was capable of. I ditched school intensely for my first year at highschool, and I was sent to the continuation school before my 1st year was over. I was ok with this at the time, because the continuation schools hours were much shorter than the regular highschools, and being late was no big deal, and lots of other great perks. The cons however were much more than I could have thought of at that age. I did to myself that one thing I had been experiencing all my life. I isolated myself. I made lousy friendships. I dont think Ive kept a single one. I made friends with degenerates, lowlifes, hoodlums, and undesirables. I regret it. I had immense amounts of problems with all kinds of characters, and I became really paranoid. After highschool I went through a long period of being very unsociableanti-social. I am, and always have been sexually submissive. Even before the point of puberty I was already having conscious thoughts of inferiority to girls I was attracted to. I was always imaginative. When I was 13 I had a dream that I was being tied up by a girl. Is that weird? Perverted? I cant help it. How am I supposed to control a desire while fast asleep? Why am I defending myself when I havent even gotten a response ? Why am I defensive at all? I need to accept myself. This is my attempt. I do not want to continue discussing my sexuality on CS. Im not loud or boastful about sex, sexuality, or things to do with sex, (for obvious reasons.) Im not currently sexually active, and I have had little encounters, and a total of four partners in my past. I was abstinent from March 2008- March2013. If you have read this far, and your now considering responding. You dont have to write a life story, and I am willing to share more with you if there is anything else you want to know that my post did not cover. Thank you very much for reading the entirety of my post. I am honored. Have a very wonderful day, or night. Peace, love, equality + diversity, better understandings. Alex