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Triskelion
RealSlaver
Hetero Male Dominant, 50, New Britain, Connecticut 

Looking for male and  female that will live and serve as real slaves.  Will serve in every capacity as  I decide, I  am quite real and you need to be also. Looking for a possible live-in situation,  but  wiling to work with other circumstances. I will provide the structure and control, you need. If you can handle serving a real master let me know :)

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Switch Male, 33
 Van Buren, Missouri
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I thought I found the one. Turned out not to be. In a way it hurts more than when my Master died because he didn't choose to leave. This one chose to. And I can't understand. I had come to a point where the hurt wasn't so bad. I was used to being alone and after some time, it becomes your new normal. I didn't need anyone and didn't care. Then you do care because he was perfect and made me  happy. Then it ends. Now I have to reach the point of numbness and not caring anymore and thats hard. But it's a lesson learned. 
Chains can be so delicious   Pierced and chained nipples and clit hood can be so stimulating for the sub/slave. Each stride and twist can stimulate the body. Used at anytime can be such a strain holding yourself together. Two nipples and hood chained together in a nice triangle, Two nipples or nipple and hood stimulated by just your movement or chain rubbed against or held by someone, Just think I'll escort you shopping or large crowds. Brought right to the edge. How exciting
RAM - Forever And A Day I'll show you I love youI'll show you I careI'll tell you everything you want and need to hear I'll heal your sorrow as long as I'm hereI'll make you smile again so loud and clearWhen your daylight disappearsWhen the storm is coming nearWhen you feel like hope is gone, lean on me – I'll be strongLet it all out now, it will be okayCause I'm gonna heal you now, forever and a dayDon't you give up now, it will be okayCause I'm gonna fight for you forever and a day
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to view my profile and send a message. I ask, respectfully, that you please, please, pretty please not send me messages with "Domly" (lol) or humiliating language.  I am not your submissive at this stage and it's insulting to us both to use this sort of language in an initial conversation. Let's be pleasant and polite and courteous, please.  I'm referring to messages with text like "Hello slut" or "Nice udders, whore." I'm not offended by this type of language - but I don't find it flirty or charming and it definitely derails any chances we have for actual communication.  
She knew she looked good. The men at the bar thought so too! Who would it be?   She picked up her hand bag and slowly made her way to the ladies room.     She admired her mirror image. She freshened her perfume and lipstick. Tugged her skirt into place. Washed her hands.   Her heels clicked on the tiled floor. Heads turned. Letting her leather jacket fall open she leaned forward at the bar. Her full figure bottom was attractive under the skirt. Accentuated and flared by her corset. Bar napkins in one hand,  bowl of mixed nuts in the other, she clicked back to her seat on the couch.   She leaned back in her seat. Closed her eyes. Smiling to her self, she dangled her shoe. The music filled her breasts. They heaved in their confinement. Opening her eyes, a very young and very handsome man in a black suit had slid from the bar and hovered at her table, two drinks in hand.
I am not ashamed to admit that this morning I was in a Neil Diamond mood. I have weeks where I am singing Cracklin' Rosie all day. Not so much lately, hence the need. I have my favorites and the songs I skip over. I play Forever in Blue Jeans twice. So I am driving to work, merging with people who don't know how to merge, and a song queues up that I would normally skip over. But I was clueless merging so I wasn't paying attention. And then I hear the words. Far. We've been traveling far. Without a home. But not without a star.  All of the sudden I start tearing up thinking about how people left everything and everyone for an unknown, optimistic opportunity. And the song goes on.  Free. Only want to be free. We huddle close. Hang onto a dream.  At this point I am full on ugly crying with red rimmed eyes, sniffling, trying to see because I'm driving around a bend, and I'm coming up to the parking lot a red rimmed, sniffling mess. Deep breaths. Composure. Skip Heartlight today and for all eternity. Head into work. Tell me it's not just me? If you say I'm hormonal I will deck you. 
20 to 30 play parties pre Covid, and now a few per year for a couple of years.  The real time bdsm community has taken a toll on peoples lives.  I still feel that going real time is the very best way to find like minded partners.  Being real time, you get to see and maybe participate in all kinds of play.  The following is what I’ve experienced real time.   Best kink display Watching a 2 girl pony play scene.  Both girls were topless and wore matching gold and silver outfits, blinders, feathered head pieces, bits and those cool hooved shaped shoes.  They were pulling a chariot.  The spectacle of it was awesome. Watching a flaming double flogger scene.  Awesome   Best outdoor scenes Being chained spread eagle to a very large boulder in a remote area of a state park. Doing a crucifixion scene at a kinky kampout.   Best group scenes   Being suspended and whipped by three dominants at once. Being pulled apart by 8 people during a needle play scene.  There was a lot going on during this scene.  My tits were bloody and I fought like hell.  I felt like a captured Amazon. Laying on a table with all sorts of treats and candy covering my body while attendees licked nibbled and tasted all the treats.   Most erotic scene   Being suspended spread eagle in chains for a femdom I knew.  When I started to complain she made me hang for another 15 minutes.  I struggled and moaned a long time.  When it was over I saw that she smoked 6 cigs.    Most embarrassing scenes/moments   Hearing loud screaming during a scene.  When I went to see what was going on I saw a couple putting a clothespin on a newbies nipples.  I think you chose the wrong kink hun. Watching a sub go to a play station.  Remove their clothes.  Put their restraints on.  Put out all the toys.  Tie themself up.  Then the dominant showed up.  Watching a femsub pass out during a rope play scene.  Slowly slither to the floor and hit her head on the concrete.  Where was the dominant?  Talking to another dominant nearby.  Watching a male sub offer himself during a slave auction and nobody bidding on him.  Best dungeon moments. Receiving a standing ovation from the staff and trustees of a dungeon when entering the dungeon.  They knew what I was there to do and everyone was very excited to see me. Being suspended spread eagle in chains and whipped in front of 250 people.   Random stuff people have said to me at the dungeon. Nice bikini.  Nice thong.  Would you want to have our baby? (wait what?) You’re a bronze goddess.  Nice tan.  Your body is made for torture. (gee thanks?) I like the way you wear your bikini.  Do you get oiled up to better endure the whipping? Your the girl who likes to be strung up.
Today I was told that we will be hosting our local BDSM group this coming weekend, The play is always painful and fun. Six other Dom/slave couples will be over Friday evening and the party usually last until mid Sunday afternoon.  Sure, some stay start to finish, some leave earlier and some come, leave and them come back. The Doms/Dommees love it as we have a huge basement filled with both purchased and homemade bondage equipment and furniture. One of the groups members is a brilliant cabinet maker and he made/donated an actual rack to our dungeon. Yes it will be used with great caution and I get to be the first one to break it in at the party. I will share a recap of the weekends events after we break in the rack and enjoy the other toys :)
New drinking game! Go on Collarspace and do a shot every time you see a phrase "Don't write to me if you..." in someone's profile.   I guarantee you are going to pass out under the table. Verified.
Really dislike  this sites edit profile lay out.  NO idea how to change primary photos... and every time you wanna delete one, you can apparently only do one at a time, and have to go through squinting to figure out the stupid verification string every time. UGH my nerves. i no longer have the little cavalier... having to start over with a new pup, a golden.  So those photos are the more recent ones. If anyone is a video game player, and role-plays in ESO, hit me up! i run a heavy RPG guild there.
Though I love anal sex my Master does not always care for it. He is rather large and he has not often had good experiences with it in the past. I prepared myself as requested and he did not disappoint. We messed around for a while and he got me soaking wet. He fucked my cunt and I was so full it was delightful. He flipped me where I was on my knees and my ass was in the air. He removed the plug and replaced it with his cock. He fucked me for a good 30 minutes and I came multiple times. Finally I was rewarded with a nice cream pie. There is something about being filled with nice hot cum that makes me so sleepy. Needless to say, I slept very well. 
Denn meine Liebe ist Gift für dich Heilung gibt es leider nicht Meine Liebe und du zerbrichst Meine Liebe ist Gift Meine Liebe ist Gift
Well come to a crossing point in my life, as I approach the mid 70's I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer FUCK, nope the pecker has been used up.  But, alway a butt, that doesn't mean I'm any less Dom, I just change with the situation, from now on its toys and tongue.  And not patting myself on the back I can eat pussy like a lesbian.  Now that is girl and gurl pussy.  As for toys I have things you haven't dream of using ready to make you cream like a swollen river
~ Reflecting.... Sometimes at night, I see their faces, I feel the traces they've left on my soul Those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul.
She dressed to entrap. Every detail considered. Every move calculated. Bathed in perfumed oils, pedicure and manicure complete. Glossy Bright Fire Engine Red. Soft cotton gloves ensure no snags on her high fashion thigh high stockings in shear black. The leather smell of her black corset with stocking garters filled her nose while she laced it tight and fastened the suspension. Panties or thong unnecessary tonight. Transparent black blouse buttons down the front. Red crinoline under an above the knee length pleated skirt. Two inch platform  black patent leather  six inch stiletto heels arched her calves and displayed the muscle tone in her legs. Her makeup and hair glowed Elegance.  
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Rigger100% Sadist97% Dominant94% Primal (Hunter)94% Degrader92% Non-monogamist90% Master/Mistress88% Brat tamer87% Owner70% Experimentalist51% Voyeur46% Daddy/Mommy37% Ageplayer35% Switch31% Pet29% Exhibitionist11% Submissive10% Vanilla0% Masochist0% Boy/Girl
  Some upsetting news This I hope will explain my current emotional feelings. Because I've recently received some truly unexpected and unsettling news, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to process. I'm honestly struggling to even articulate the situation clearly, as the information is still so raw and shocking.I won't go into the details right now, mostly because I’m still trying to make sense of everything myself. But suffice it to say, it's emotionally traumatizing, and it's completely thrown me off balance.Right now, I'm feeling overwhelmed, numb, anxious, lost, and angry.It's like the ground has shifted beneath my feet, and I'm having a hard time figuring out which way to go.The biggest challenge I'm facing is deciding how to proceed.This news has so many implications, and I'm feeling completely lost in trying to navigate the situation. I'm worried about making the wrong decisions, and I'm unsure of who to turn to for guidance.  
Yet another message from an illiterate sub wanting to submit to me as their Mistress... FFS!! Really? Okay okay, as your Mistress i demand as your first task that you write to me detailing the exact parts of my profile that makes you believe I'm the slightest bit Dominant, each part must be written by hand 1000 times and sent as a picture and once sent you must not send any further messages until I reply otherwise you are banished forever.. Get to it slave.   Mush.
If you're going to contact me... 1. please be real and not a fantasist 2. have a clear idea of what you require and sort of life plan. I'm not in this for just sex, I need a proper relationship and I'm not going to accept anything less. 3. be there, I need contact and communication. 4. be prepared to commit to this  5. I'm not sending you pics right away. If you prove trustworthy and you make me feel at ease then maybe then. Never before. 
ALL ABOUT MY CFNM TEA PARTIES  For years women have been sexually ified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are ified by women?  Most alternative events ify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back! Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and ify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  Notes: My parties do not have the express aim of being a dating service, but naturally, long lasting connections are often made. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party is not generally suitable for couples as a fluid dynamic is necessary to achieve the perfect decadent dichotomy. It is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. As such, it is obviously not suitable for hen party like groups of ladies.** All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  The ACADAMAY - THE ONLY CFNM IN EUROPE.  THE FRIENDLIEST, CLASSIEST, MOST INCLUSIVE KINKY AFTERNOON EVER.  DISCERNING LADIES, RELAX AMONGST YOUR PEERS!  IMPECCABALE GENTLEMEN ONLY MAY APPLY TO SERVE THEIR SUPERIORS  BDSM FRIENDLY, BRING YOUR TOYS  HIGHEST DISCRETION AND PRIVACY GUARANTEED Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com SOME REVIEWS! This Tea Party was a riot💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V Thank you for a lovely evening Master May. I was thrilled to win the Christmas entertainment. You and the ladies are as cool as fuckMark N0. 3 Thanks to @Master-May for some brilliant organisation. Female empowerment. Males humbled and made to serve in a variety of ways. For my part I was stripped, plugged, displayed and disciplined by some amazing dommes. Ordered and sometimes f***** to lie face down on the bed, my naked body would be casually groped, stroked and intimately touched by any number of ladies who took the fancy, and plenty did. I was reduced to nothing more than their playtoy - sexually ified, casually degraded, all while they sipped wine and made conversation with each other. A thoroughly humiliating experience and I've never felt more turned on in my entire life. DEE & Miss El Yes a great evening love it so many classy women ??Bum is now very sore ?? Jon  I just wanted to say a massive thank you for such a wonderful event last night! I had an absolutely fantastic time! I've been 3 times now and it's always the highlight of my month. Ms. A
Oh a little about me. Most people on here seem very single minded and want some magic insta unicorn slave just off some old website like this...   I am a housepet. That means I have an owner. He has had me for nearly 10 years and you know... A puppy is for life etc. I am totally committed to this life and lifestyle and am very happy.   Where did we meet? Well I used to be a sex worker and he was a more kink interested client.. We had a few nervous meetings out and about then before long I was chained to his bed every night lol.   Here to perv and chat to other kinksters mainly. I like hearing about what happens in the rest of the kink world. Even if its mostly not for me.
Seems no matter how much heartache you have been through, you trust in someone only for them to turn on you like a rabit dog.    All with the sole premise you have to pay for what youve done.   Yet I have been accountable for My actions.  So much in fact, I have given Myself My own life sentence.   But this person played like they were in My corner and had My back only to be plotting against Me.  So you can believe what you want.  But they only trying to destroy what they cant have the way they want.
For my birthday trip, I reached out to a few people a week before my flight to the East Coast.  One here, an admirer: I dropped him a line asking if he wanted to meet for coffee. The records show that he read my message, but he never replied.  On another site, I followed up on a post from someone offering massages. There was no way to message the person directly, but the site indicates that there's a response to a post when you log on. He logged on since I posted my comment, and I heard nothing before I boarded my plane.  I actually saw his reply after I got back: he finally reached out when I was away. However, by the tie I landed and got settled, activities started and I didn't bother checking these sites. He requested a raincheck for my return. I told him sure, if I remembered.  "Oh, if only you weren't so far away ..." my aunt fanny.
I know I said I encourage folks to contact me, but please, do use more than three words total in your effort!  Tell me WHY you're reaching out, and what interested you about my profile. It's only polite after all.  I recently added a photo for visibilty, but sometimes I forget how much a set of breasts will draw out folks' most basic desires, and not their intellect. They forget that there is a person on the other side of the screen, and not just a fetish dispenser. I'm not here for casual sex, for online play, or games of "what would you do if I were in front of you".  Please be sure you are expressing yourself in a way that addresses more substantive topics. 
Another ridiculous story you just can't make up, this really happened last night. So. Like most people, I drive to and from work five days a week. I take the same route. I'm not great with directions so while I know a few other ways to get there in theory, I stick with this one way. I had made plans to go out with a colleague friend last night and we were going to meet back at work where she would pick me up and she would do the driving. Perfect. I get back to work, we go out, have a great time, she drops me off at my car at 11:45. I head home the usual way, it should take about a half hour. Only there's construction and an accident and it's jammed beyond belief. So I follow a couple of cars who got off, thinking eh, I'll pick up another road I'm familiar with. And I do. I know this road goes out in my direction so I can start there and find a cross street along the way. So I'm driving. And I'm driving. And it's now well past the thirty minute mark, I don't recognize anything, there are no lights on the road, and I have no cell service to pull up a map. But alright, I have half a tank of gas and I can figure this out. And I keep driving. For over an hour. I get to a road that I know leads me home. But which way? I make a choice and fully commit, because another half hour goes by and I still have no idea where I am, still no lights, still no cell service. I see deer and can confirm the saying about deer in headlights freezing up is accurate. Eventually I realized I made the wrong directional choice and turned around, find my way home. At 1:57. When I say I am directionally challenged, clearly I'm not kidding. 
My ultimate goal is to find a man to make me his housewife, so I decided to write some things about what that means to me. A housewife is just a fancy way to say you are a slave in a 24/7 TPE. A housewife is property, a housewife has no rights, only those a master gives them. A housewife gives their mind and body to a master, a housewife is not able to make the decisions that are in their best interest, so a master takes that role. They choose the clothes that are best for their housewife to wear that day, a master knows the most important things that need to be done and make a list for the hou to complete for the day. The typical day of the housewife consists of cooking for a master, cleaning the masters house, and completing the duties a master tells them to do. A master cares for their housewife, and if a housewife does something wrong or does not do something correctly, the master punishes the housewife, to teach them and help them grow. A housewife gives their mind and body to the master, a master deserves this for caring for the housewife, this means their body is the master's to use amd abuse whenever and however they choose. I know there is more to this but these were just some of my thoughts.
I have been on here for 4 months and overall nice people chatting. A couple of weird married men whoose BS does not get past me even through messages. Accepted the only way I am going to meet 2 interesting men within my desired age bracket 36-46 is to go to munches. Joined Fet Life and RSVP a couple of events, now figuring out what to wear. Any women (born or made) recommend websites to put together something classy but alluring, considering having something handmade.  I don't want to enter a room looking like a latex tramp but will embrace the dark side (no pun intended).
subMeghan here...  as required by me Dom, I am naked, wearing only my collar and glasses... Only have a few minutes, so here's a quick journal entry... My Dom decided to have a bondage weekend!  Hooray!!!  So I've spent most of the week tied up in one position or another. Next up something simple: I'm going to be tied to a chair and left there while my Dom goes out to do a grocery run... Hope you all have a great weekend!   subMeghan  
One got to love those indecisive str8 males. They know what they want, crave it, and dream with it. However, they are terrified to discover their true desires which for against their concept of masculinity. I am well aware of the effect I have on males in general. But in the case of indecisive str8 males I am terrifiying. not good looking, not a body to look at, but full of attitude and a very noticeable bulge that is always an eye catcher. I understand the conflict, there is a struggle between what the body is telling them and what their rational mind opposes. The truth is that there is a physiological contradiction; the find themselves aroused and painfully hard and their hole quivering and wet. not into guys, never had been, so what's is wrong? Nothing is wrong, the fact and plain truthe is that they found a male a man that swept them off their feet and there is no denying; the want to be close and to feel the totality of  a sexuality that now awakened refuse to retreat.  They can rationalize all they can and they can flatly denny the obvious but the fact remains the proud str8 male fell for another more powerful male! What to do? Society, religion, the wife or gf at home, and the friends know this male as a man man , and now he is still is but there is an interest a craving, a thirst that only another man (me) que quench and there is the conflict that can only be solved by surrendering and realizing that there is no label only an expansion of sexuality; a top and leader in public and asubmissive with the man that owns your most treasured space; your virginity. Step Up to the plate be a man and give your body what you now now it needs; a true male a Bull. 
August 14, 2024 - Multiple visits from Sextoy69       Sextoy69 has been coming around for a while.  He loves to be tied to the bed and throat fucked viciously.     Probably about a year ago before tying him to the bed and throat fucking him, I started telling him to get up on all fours so I could play with his ass. We both enjoyed it.  I would start with a single finger, applying lots of lube, eventually working in as many as three and sometimes four fingers.   A couple times he let me fuck him with my cock. But since he never cleans out because he comes straight from work, once my cock is in his ass I can't stuff it down his throat. It's one of his hard limits and I respect that.  Definitely not a problem.   So most recently when he gets here, we head upstairs, we both strip, and he gets up on all fours on the bed. I've been using wider and wider toys to open his ass up while reaching between his legs and stroking his dripping cock. I'm usually playing with my own cock at the same time.  We both enjoy it.   In fact I found, I'm enjoying it a bit too much. I get so excited, I'm so aroused playing with his ass and my own cock, it's such a mental rush watching him push his chest hard onto the bed while pushing his ass in the air.   I've learned that I get so excited, that when it's time to tie him down to the bed and throat fuck him I don't last very long. Usually within 5 or 10 minutes I'm shooting my load down his throat.   Two visits ago, I told him we were going to skip the ass play. And I must have throat fucked him for 30 minutes. He likes being tied down tight. And he likes being throat fucked extremely rough. Since my cock is down his throat a safe word doesn't work since his mouth is full.  He knows to smack his hand on the bed frame three times and that's the safe word, or safe action. This tells me to stop instantly.  Not that he has ever used the safe word or safe signal.   So two visits ago, after skipping the ass play, I tied him face up on the bed to the four corners. I tied him tight. He likes to struggle. I like to watch him struggle. But he never turns his head away causing my cock to pop out of his mouth. He just enjoys struggling.   I throat fucked him so hard. I was vicious. There were times my cock would get so rigid that I would push it all the way down his throat blocking his wind pipe. Normally I can hear him gasping for air around my cock and through his nose, but this time I couldn't hear any air going in or out of his body. That's how far my cock was lodged into his throat.   READ THE ENTIRE STORY AT WWW.SirKel.top  
Slave's Supplications or devotions Slave's Supplications or devotions: I beg you to use me for your pleasure. I desire nothing more than to be an that you can use for your enjoyment at any time. I beg You to allow me to please you. I beg to be made to live to worship you. Make me give you thanks when you honor me with punishment at your hand. My real punishment is having failed, and having disappointed you I would not deserve your attention. My body and mind are your property, now and until you may decide you have no further use for me. I beg you to make me feel your ownership of me everyday. Please, make me feel Your power over me, and Your total control of my life. I submit willingly to your power and domination. Please, make me feel my submission and your control throughout my day. I want to obey, serve and please you. Please allow me the privilege of calling you Master. I realize my sexuality and my orgasms are now your property, allowed to me as a special gift. I beg you to punish me severely if I ever have an orgasm without permission. I choose willingly to be treated as your property. I beg you to own me utterly and completely. I beg you to make me behave, and be a good boy/girl. Please allow me the privilege of your discipline when I misbehave. I beg you to control my clit/cock. When I may touch it, when it may be excited and when it may come. I know my cock/clit now belongs to you. I beg to be your property. Please help me become your greatest treasure. Living in Your Grace, my Master my God.
Helpful hints: I am poly. This means I may have other subs or lovers. Or none. According to my desires.You don't have to be poly but I will not change who I am to be with anyone. I enjoy men and women and the full spectrum in between. My interests aren't about what's between your legs so much as what is in your mind, heart and soul. I do enjoy naughty bits but I prefer to get to know you first. See if we are a good match. I host local kink events. I have a busy and fulfilling life. In order to get my attentions you will have to be interesting and should put your best foot forward. I enjoy intelligent people, no matter if they are verbose or quiet. If you're too verbose, I do have a ball gag. :) I live in Alaska. Yes it's cold here. Yes it's dark here. Yes I see the aurora's outside my house. Yes it's full of wildlife and quite amazing. Yes it's a bucket list destination. I'm happy to talk about it but if that's all you want to know then watch the discovery channel. Good luck.  
After multiple inquiries in the same week, I need to make two things clear. 1. I'm legally married. While happily polyamorous and willing to meet a new partner that I consider, over time and commitment, my spouse, that's a process that takes years to achieve. Approaching me with marriage mindedness isn't going to get you far. 2. I'm not interested in making anyone my cuckold. I am openly, transparently polyamorous and if I have other lovers they will all know about each other. I will not use my lovers as a humiliation tool. It doesn't interest me in the slightest.
How many of us find the treasure we've sought for so long?  How many of us give up and just accept what is in front of us?  How many of us are truly sincere and willing to kiss a few frogs  while trying to find our kinky slave or the pearl.   Someone suggested I should put up a picture and that My feed would blow up.  That's not what I want.  Let's be real, the one or two or three I want may not be here, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Lol I'm sure there is a more up to date analogy.   Yet we persevere hopeful for a meaningful connection.  They are few and far between, but on ocassion we meet someone, strike up a conversation and even a friendship.   Where is the boy you want to beat when frustration is high?  Where is the slave You want to kneel and do whatever You  command? Where is the man you want to rub Your back and have a meaningful conversation with? it's a dichotomy, can you find both in the same individual or do You have a stable of eager boys ready to serve? Time to find what's right for Me!  The search continues.  Goddess
A Master takes away his slave's free use of time. Her time no longer belongs to her. She rises in the morning when instructed, and her use of time is at Master's will. She will work at what Master orders when he tells her. If she works outside the home, she is expected back at a certain time, her time belongs to him. When she eats, sleeps, perhaps uses the bathroom, when she does her chores, and when and if she has leisure is not for her to decide. Her time is not her own. If Master calls her to his side, she goes, no matter what she was doing. Her time is not her own, it belongs to Master. When you take away a woman's free use of her time, it no longer belongs to her, but becomes Master's time. I think there is no more powerful psychological experience than that of not owning your own time. Physicality: The experience of one's body as one's own. A slave's body does not belong to her. She is instructed on how to wear her hair, whether and how to use makeup, when to be clothed, and in what clothing, and when to be naked, how to care for her skin and nails. She can be stripped and inspected at will. She is denied free access to her own pleasure. She may not masturbate without permission. She may not climax without permission. She may not take irin for a headache without permission. She has sex when, how, and with whom her Master decides. She must bear whatever pains are inflicted upon her. She has no right to say "no" to the use of her body. After a time, her psychological reality becomes "my body no longer belongs to me." When you take away a woman's free use and handling of her own body, it no longer belongs to her, but become's Master's property. It is a powerful shock that first moment a woman recognizes that her body is no longer her own. Privacy: We free beings are used to the right to privacy. We close bathroom doors. We perform our ablutions in private. We would prefer to be left alone when we are ill, perhaps, or cranky, or not looking our best. We hide the evidence of our menses: flush the tampons, wrap the used napkins. We take our deepest fears, our most intense angers, our illogical primitive emotions and hide them from others, lest they turn from us in disgust or fear. We note our dreams in morning and consign them to the dream ether from whence they come; they disturb us and we wish to forget. A slave has no right to any of that privacy. There is no private space in which a slave can hide from Master, either literally or metaphorically. She may not close a bathroom door. If Master wants her to experience her lack of privacy, he may choose to intrude upon her bathroom functions. She may not hide her fears, her angers, her emotions, for when Master intuits she is astir, he will be in her face until she opens them to him. When a woman has no privacy, neither physical nor psychological, she no longer owns her space, her external or internal space. When you take away a woman's privacy, she no longer owns her internal or external space, her very essence belongs to Master. We can see why this takes time. It takes time because one must repeatedly, consistently, doggedly take ownership of a woman's time and body, and strip her of the right to privacy. And it's no wonder there is resistance along the way: it's not only willfulness that must be addressed, but resistence out of fear when a woman begins to be transformed, when she feels her ownership of her time eroded, her ownership of her body stripped away, her privacy gone. A woman enters this process a free agent, comfortably familiar to herself, and is truly transformed. She becomes something more beautiful then she ever thought possible, she becomes a slave
My dog clogged the toilet.  Okay, technically, I am the one who flushed the wipes, but it was all her. You know those treats that fit into some sort of holder and are meant to occupy the dog for quite some time? She ripped the holder and instead of it taking hours to eat the treat, she ate it in a matter of minutes. Everything seemed fine. And then I woke around 2:30 to her trying to eat a great big pile of mush that had just come out of her butt. Gross. So what do I do? I grab flushable wipes to clean it up. And then I flush them. And then the toilet revolted. Thank the lord I have more than one because I forgot about it until I came back upstairs and it's still unuseable. I looked up how to fix this. There is no magic solution to pour in there and dissolve them. The plunger is most definitely not working. I cannot call a plumber and tell him the dog clogged the toilet. This is just another problem for Tomorrow Me. And probably Middle of the Night Me. And that's not even the end of the story, but that's all I've got left to give tonight.  *Update*  I FIXED IT!!! I seriously thought I was going to have to explain this to a plumber. I just spent a lot of time plunging. And um, then I had to pee. So maybe I had the magic solution because right after I tinkled, flushed, and plunged, it worked. Natural plumber, at your service. 
Love and War:   In the realm of love and passionate strife, Two fierce hearts clashed in the dance of life. Khan, with eyes like burning fire, Choke, with grace that none could tire.   Their love was a tempest, wild and untamed, Yet each sought dominance, their pride unashamed. In the moon's soft glow, they met on the field, Their destinies entwined, their fates sealed.   Khan, with sword held high, proclaimed his might, Choke, with eyes ablaze, prepared for the fight. Their words were like thunder, their gazes like steel, As they battled for love, with an unyielding zeal.   With each strike and parry, the earth trembled below, As Khan and Choke fought, in a passionate, fiery flow. Their love and their fury, intertwined as one, Their souls locked in battle, 'til the rise of the sun.   But in the end, as dust settled and hearts slowed, They realized that love was the only code. For in their struggle for dominance and control, They found that love's power made them whole.   So Khan and Choke, in an embrace sublime, Set aside their battle, and the passage of time. For in love's embrace, they found their true rest, As two souls entwined, and their hearts truly blessed.
Tripping at the first hurdle isn't getting old, it has been old. So let me explain how this goes. If you contact me and express interest, I'm going to hold you to it. I'm going to start checking your service mindset right away. I'm going to ask boring non sexual questions about your interest. I shouldn't have to repeat a question when you have stated this dynamic is something you want. You can think it's funny or strange, but you're being held to the example set by people who have gone from online interest to real service in the past. Why should I adjust my expectations for you to lower the bar for standards you're unwilling to meet.
How to tell you have neglected yourself:   Your hairdresser moans and says you got good hair why have you not come to see me about these ends like last year. Your beauty technician asks why you doing your hollywood wax for a man when you should be doing for yourself every month to two. Your local nail salon technician asks, where the hell have you been and it is clear you have not gone to anyone else.   Yes I have been busy at work and will take note I need to look after myself more.
House style: Old Guard High protocol and a focus on discipline and rules. Mentorship within the family. Rewards for evolution in mastery of kinks within BDSM through training.   House Mantra: - Respect - Obedience - Loyalty - Train - Goals
After two years of on-and-off conversation on this site, the fog has finally cleared and the path is certain. I’ve realized that the submissive I’ve been searching for has been right in front of me the whole time. Our connection has evolved into the exact dynamic I require, and it is time to take this bond into our own world. She was hiding in plain sight, and she is now fully mine. My time here will most certainly be extremely limited as I focus my attention where it belongs. My brat, My girl, My slave, sassykitten91  
I opened my profile and was overwhelmed with mails. Some from old friends. Some from people I didn't know. I did continue conversations with a couple new people I was anxious to get to know (one near, one far), and ghosted by both. I may have said or done something unintentionally in a way that could be taken wrong, I have been rather ill with a sinus thing (not the kind of sick I am use to) and a tad grouchy and needy. But still something could have been said in a message perhaps?
As I approach my birthday.. my Wish this year is to find the ONE. a Domme who will come into my life. Accepting but not settling for the vanilla that it is day to day.. but starts me on a journey with Her to the dark corners of Her desires.  Let me find a Domme who starts innocent but is slowly seducing me into her web. Pulls my biggest thoughts, insecurities, weaknesses out of my mind and uses them to mold me even more.   to hope that a year from now I'm sitting here mentaly, sexually, and tech locked down at Her command and loving it!
Well, I finally decided to unhide my profile after several years of isolation due to the pandemic.  Thought I might be able to find a good slave boy just in case we ever have to go back into a lockdown situation so that I am not left all alone without a sub/slave to use.  Nice to see there are fewer scammers, but seems there are less profiles, too.  BUT apparently the head games and b,s, have not changed much!  Guys, ghosting anyone is rude and unacceptable!  It reflaspects poor character when you make a date or agree to submission and then just disappear without any word!  Why would you lead someone on for several weeks and tell them how much you adore them, only to ghost and block them??  Hell, make up a viable excuse, but don't burn your bridges!  At least show some consideration and that you can be responsible for your actions!  And what is up with the old pics on profiles?  Some of you have not updated your age or profile pic in the last 10+ years that I have been on this site!!  Didn't you know you can change your personal stats without needing approval from Admin??  I realize pics need approval, but not to update your stats!  Up to this point, I have tried being socialable and understanding, but there comes a time when the Dom in me has to come out one way or another. If you cannot take a bit of verbal abuse and corporal punishment, you are in the wrong place.  While I may enjoy levels of intimacy at times, I will not be your boyfriend.  There are other sites for finding those types of guys. This old troll will crawl back under his rock now! 
This site has been a part of my life since 2009.  I have grown and went through many life changes.  My Husband is My Master. We rarely go into Master/slave mode but when we do its what we need.  I realize real serious bdsm is a lifestyle not play and Him and I are far from vanilla. We are deeply spiritual and energy aware so even if we are not practicing what most view as bdsm we have a deep dynamic.  We have been hit with many things over the years . There is always wave for every person. Ours seemed giantic lol but we are together.  I was owned by a Master for ten years in the past. I can see clearly now so many things about that time in my life. There are regrets but we cant go back. It was never meant to be something I could have as a real life in all ways. I wish I would of known myself more but it led to what I was suppose to find. It taught me many things. There were times I thought that It was not safe and I never trusted. I wish I could talk to him but I dont think that will ever happen. I understand why. I really think He thought I was something that I never was . The mind web was so layered I will never know. I rarely wonder anymore because I know I will never get answers.  So I am here...I am just here . I have a few friends here and there that log in. 
So this is a recurring fantasy I have, I hope some of you enjoy it :) Miss wants me to be a slut, she asks me all the time, “what are you”, “a slut” I have to reply, then she punishes me for being such a submissive slut. Then she organises for me to go and serve others. I have no choice, and I have no idea who it is until I go to their place. There I must act as if the commands were coming from Miss, I must do as I am told.  Miss says I am not allowed to cum, if I do I will be punished for it, the people I am sent to know this, but, as they are controlling me, they can make me cum for them. This will result in them being able to watch the punishment from Miss, so they get to decide if they want that to happen to me. When I am finished I have to return to Miss, I kneel naked in front of her, and I have to explain everything I did in great detail, humiliating myself, I have to describe what I did, how I felt, what it smelled like, absolutely all details. Miss then punishes me for being such a slut.   Then at the end she asks if I had cum, now the other people don’t tell her, I have to admit to it myself.
10/9/24 I am confused. I am heartbroken. Was I intentionally targeted to be catfished, led on, or simply just for someone to be cruel to? I'm not perfect. I put my heart 100% in what I say and do here. I willl always be honest, and now I'm afraid, I may have been transparent to a fault. *sigh* The worst part is I don't know what happened. Why is it so hard to find someone who's just as honestly trying to live this lifestyle? Dominants are human, and our hearts break sometimes, too. It hurts too much to get to the point of caring, and then...nothing. Not even an explanation. I don't know if I can keep doing this.  
What if mosquitos in fact bite everyone, but not everyone has a reaction to the bite? There's probably science on this, but I like my theory. That's it for today.  Wait. I just reread what I wrote at the beginning of the month about overcoming obstacles. My people, I am actively working on it. I have four different professionals for four different things and a to do list a mile long that I shorten as I can. Still some scary stuff, still some out of reach stuff, but progress. I am a (wo)man of my word. At least I'm trying to be. Okay, now that's it for today. I've earned it. 
This slave will accept this training by whip to blood to increase its obedience.... I love that. https://www.alohatube.com/ktm/view.cgi?gid=141002522&u=https://www.stileproject.com/video/man-spanked-and-whipped-by-mistress-8466.html?utm_source=aloha Nice daily whipping I would love to obtain better service from slave. And that the goal. I regret the Mistress doesn't give a reward letting her slave licking her asshole at the end of the whipping https://fra.xhamster.com/videos/forgive-me-mistress-please-11973674
What makes a good sub? I am all about being a pleaser and a caregiver. As much as I want my Dominant to take care of me, I want to take care of him as well. That means, I honestly don't brat all that often, unless I am doing it for the sake of getting "funishments" that I actually want. When I am asked to do something, I do it, and quickly. I do it well. If I am asked to maintain a position, I stay there, until I can't anymore. On my knees to throat fuck me? I am there, on the floor, mouth open and waiting.  The point being, I can be a very, very good girl. For the right person. Now I just need the right person to come along.
I'm actually sad to be back here on this site, after so many  years being happy with who I found and who was very loyal.  Unfortunitly he is no more and here I am.    This is time consumming as it is for  you as well.  So if I don't respond after I read your message it's because this search sometimes gets over whelming trying to figure out who is who  and what someone is looking for exactly EXACTLY.  For instance, if someone is just looking for weekend play,  or something along that line. Please do me a favor and don't even write. I'm sure there is probably someone else out there that wants that.   I have to say I do get a rise when I find someone I can connect to on a higher plane.  I like intelligent converstation but it is also time consumming and easier to move to phone eventually.   I'm not talking about someone with a high IQ and can memorize the encyclopedia .  I'm talking about someone that is beyond that and I can talk to about the meaning of life , so to speak.   Does my sub/slave need to be smart and have a college education ? No , some of the best people I know even dropped out of school and never finished.   With today's AI we can all be artist, writers, and seemingly a genious.  But with all that , there is something deeper. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you don't know. If you do understand then you do know.   If who comes to live here can't even read but knows how to have a great garden, knows how to use his hands.( even if he doesnt but is more than willing to learn) That is way more important to me than anything.   However is someone works online and doesn't know how to work with his hands. Then he could be useful as well and I don't rule that out.  I said all that to help you to have a better understanding what I'm looking for .  I hope not to be on here for several months but who knows.    The last person I found on here was about 8 years ago. We met on here talked for a couple weeks. He moved here and has been here ever since.   That's what happens when people are open and honest and do what they say they are going to do . 
Hello, I was bored so I took some time to go state by state and look at the basic category of profiles at appealed to me. There is quite an ecliptic number of very interesting people with truly Kink-based desires.  A thought-provoking side issue was that either the website is randomly broken or people who are in many cases requiring complete honesty are not quite providing it. There is a mileage indication on many of the profiles which is the distance from where I am located to where they are.  I'll use Dallas as an example, it is approximately 1300 miles from Los Angeles. Amazingly many profiles had distances in the low hundreds of miles to nearly double the 1300 miles.   It is thought-provoking that's for sure. 
I was here awhile back and left. Hello again. I propose a power exchange. About me. I am a strong willed woman. I know what I want in life and am patient enough to wait for it. I've been active in this lifestyle for over 18 years. I would describe myself as a firm and demanding, loving sadistic, that delights in pushing her playthings to the point that is just this side of no return. I expect obedience. I give love, kink and a place to belong (kneeling at my feet). The setting. I live in the woods on the river, deep in the heart of a vast and beautiful land. Where the sun rarely sets in the middle of summer and rarely peeks it's head out in the middle of its winter wonderland. The exchange. I want to play with you. To hurt and humiliate you. To tend your wounds and then hurt you some more. At the end of the day I want you curled at my feet with a hot cup of tea in hand while we share witty banter about the days many activities. I also want my dishes done. My floor scrubbed. My door fixed. My garage cleaned. My art room organized. My garden weeded. My front deck built. This could start as a two week vacation or a repeat visit but should end as a lifetime venture. Serious inquiries preferred.
**The Bear’s Den**   The air in his apartment was thick with the scent of leather and cedar, a primal musk that clung to my skin as I knelt on the cold hardwood floor. My wrists were bound behind me, the rope biting just enough to remind me of my place. At six foot two, I was no small man, but in his presence, I felt like a fragile thing, a hundred pounds of trembling need locked in a cage of my own submission. The chastity device around my cock was a cruel reminder of his control, its metal teeth grazing my skin with every futile twitch of arousal. I was his, utterly, and the weight of that truth made my chest tighten.   He loomed over me, a mountain of muscle and menace, his broad frame blocking the dim light from the single lamp in the corner. His name was Viktor, a bear of a man with a barrel chest, arms like oak trunks, and a beard that scratched my skin raw when he’d kissed me earlier, claiming my mouth with a hunger that felt like a storm. His eyes, dark and unreadable, held a sadistic glint that made my stomach churn with fear and desire. Yet, beneath that cruelty, there was a flicker of something softer—something that made me trust him, even as my heart raced with dread.   “You’re mine tonight,” he growled, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through the room. His massive hand gripped my chin, forcing my gaze up to meet his. “My little cock sock. You ready to be used?”   I nodded, my throat too dry to speak, the chastity cage tightening as my body betrayed me. His lips curled into a smirk, sinister and knowing, as he released my chin and stepped back, his boots heavy against the floor. He unbuckled his belt with deliberate slowness, the clink of metal echoing in the silence. My eyes followed the movement, hypnotized, as he freed himself, his cock thick and heavy, already glistening with intent.   “Open,” he commanded, and I obeyed, my lips parting as he stepped closer. The first thrust was brutal, filling my mouth until I gagged, my eyes watering as he held my head in place. “That’s it,” he murmured, his voice softening for a moment, a strange tenderness in his tone. “Take it like a good boy.” His fingers stroked my hair, a fleeting gesture of care that made my chest ache, even as he fucked my throat with ruthless precision.   The chastity cage was torture, my cock straining uselessly against its confines as he used me. He teased me with words, his voice a dark melody. “Look at you, so desperate, so denied. You’ll get nothing until I say so.” His laughter was low, cruel, but his thumb brushed a tear from my cheek, and I leaned into the touch, craving the warmth behind his dominance.   He pulled out abruptly, leaving me gasping, my lips swollen and slick. “Up,” he ordered, yanking me to my feet by the rope binding my wrists. My legs trembled as he led me to the bed, a massive iron-framed thing draped in black sheets. He pushed me face-down, my chest pressed into the mattress, my ass exposed and vulnerable. The air was cool against my skin, but his hands were fire, spreading me open with a possessiveness that made my pulse race.   “You’re gonna feel me,” he said, his voice dripping with dark promise. I heard the snap of a lube bottle, the slick sound of him preparing himself, and then the blunt pressure of his cock against my hole. I whimpered, the stretch immediate and overwhelming, my body resisting even as I craved it. “Relax,” he growled, but there was a gentleness in his grip, his fingers kneading my hips as he eased inside, inch by agonizing inch. The pain was exquisite, a burning fullness that made me feel alive, claimed, his.   He fucked me with a rhythm that was both punishing and deliberate, each thrust driving me deeper into submission. The chastity cage rattled with every movement, a constant reminder of my denial, my cock throbbing uselessly as he used me. “My perfect little sock,” he taunted, his voice tight with lust. “Made for this, weren’t you?” I could only moan, my mind fogged with sensation, the world narrowing to the heat of him inside me.   Then, without warning, he slowed, his thrusts shallow, teasing. I felt a new warmth, a strange pressure, and realized with a jolt what was happening. He was pissing inside me, claiming me in a way that felt filthy and intimate, a violation that made my caged cock ache with need. “Take it,” he whispered, his voice softer now, almost reverent. “Every part of you is mine.” The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of shame and surrender, and I whimpered, my body trembling under his weight.   He pulled out slowly, leaving me empty and aching, only to grab me by the hair and pull me to my knees again. “Open,” he said again, and I did, my mouth ready for him. The taste of him was sharp and bitter as he released another stream, his piss flooding my throat as I struggled to swallow, to please him. His hand cupped my face, his thumb tracing my jaw, and I saw that flicker of care again, a silent promise that he’d never push me past what I could handle.   When he was done, he knelt beside me, his massive frame enveloping me as he untied my wrists. “You did so well,” he murmured, his voice a balm against the raw edges of my submission. He kissed my forehead, his lips soft where they’d been cruel, and pulled me into his arms. The chastity cage remained, a final act of denial, but his warmth, his strength, made it bearable. I was his—used, claimed, and cherished in the dark, mysterious dance of our desires.
I can more clearly understand why people lie on the web and on this site. Telling the truth often gets you virtually ghosted early, no matter how much people say it doesn't matter. Lying, on the other hand, gives you the option of dealing with it when it comes out, which it always does. I guess then you count on the other person saying "oh, well...it's not that big of a deal." There's no real reward either way, so... Oh, and I'm not 49 like my profile apparently says. I'm 53. If I make a move to change it, it'll probably lock me out for 6 months. And I'm not sure where my journal entries from 2023 went, but anyway...People really do suck
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==100% Rope bunny100% Masochist98% Submissive82% Boy/Girl70% Experimentalist69% Brat66% Non-monogamist65% Exhibitionist64% Ageplayer64% Slave62% Primal (Prey)56% Degradee41% Voyeur33% Vanilla19% Pet
Today I was reflecting on something that has long been present in my life. As a youth, long before I had any language for BDSM or for how my attraction actually works, I hated environments like discos where the boys flocked around the pretty girls like bees around honey. I wasn’t a great dancer and I’ve always seen myself as fairly average looking, so I assumed I just felt “uncompetitive”. But it wasn’t just discos. The same thing happened in school groups, social circles, anywhere the dynamic shifted into a subtle contest. If I was interested in a girl and other admirers appeared, something in me would simply switch off. The interest didn’t fade - it vanished. I’d step back, not in defeat, but in disconnection. With my recent understanding of myself as demisexual - and recognising the emotional architecture that comes with that - I’ve realised it was never about insecurity or feeling “not good enough”. It was about wiring. I don’t experience attraction in environments built on competition, performance, or scattered attention. My system is tuned for depth, for attunement, for the kind of connection that grows slowly and privately between two people who are actually present with each other. When the field becomes crowded or performative, the signal dilutes. The possibility of depth collapses. And my interest shuts down automatically. Some people thrive on the chase, the rivalry, the adrenaline of “winning” someone’s attention. I never have. For me, attraction only exists where there is intentionality, reciprocity, and a sense of genuine one‑to‑one resonance. If that’s not the energy, I don’t compete - I disconnect. Not from fear, but because competition is simply the wrong ecosystem for the kind of connection I’m built for. I am left pondering where sites like Collarspace and Fetlife are right for me? So much seems to hinge on performance. But if not them, then what? Where?
I'd like to thank Master Thatch from Michigan for His very insightful comments on the issue of Ownership which I found very reassuring!  Thank you Sir!   "My last boy was owned We both live in the United States He lived in Ohio I live in Michigan We had a long distance Master and slave relationship Its possible You dont have to be a live in to be owned Now Im not saying that Master is wrong Every Master has their own ideals and definitions so theirs may be live in slaves are owned So that would indeed make them right but my definition of owned is when a boy has kneeled and pleaded their mind, body and soul to me and I have placed a collar around their neck and we are intertwined in a relationship Distance isnt an issue And Im not into live in slavery The relationship is monogamous, the boy is owned by only one Master and has only one Dom and that is me However that boy was leased out to other Doms from time to time"
I don't care about your political views.  If you're a decent, ethical person, that's all that matters.  If you express that anyone elses views would stop you from even talking to them, then you are not the open minded intellect you believe you are.  I don't exist to comply with arbitrary standards, I have My own standards I live up to with the understanding family and friends are always first.
Miss May's Confessional is now open...   "Do not forgive me Miss May, for I've been a bad boy and I plan to do it again..."   This is a call to all my pervy pals to come forward and entertain me with whatever naughty diversions you've been having, real or imagined. Brag about your recent sexual escapades or confess your impure thoughts (especially regarding me <3 ).  If you're lucky I might be into it too and want to join in on your fun... Seriously, I'm as depraved as you are and your fantasies delight me! And don't worry, my sweets, your kinky confessions are confidential.   On a related note, some of you are mistaken about what the free version of femdom offers. You're here for my entertainment, not the other way around, and you'll get from me what you put in. Be interesting, be open, be willing to figure out how to stroke my ego, and then I'll play with you. I'm not going to coax it out of you either, and expect to have your persistence tested. Don't be too proud to double message me if you think your last message got overlooked. I do make an effort to respond but life does happen.    And finally, thank you to you lovely gentlemen who admire me, check in on me, and wish me well. Your compliments and attention are much appreciated <3   -MM 
It's been such a long time that I have made an entry in my journal.  But yes I'm still here , still on Hormones and trying to schedule some surgeries to make me better . I have let my hair grow its past my shoulders now , and for those who love heels I wear them daily , I am well dressed and for the most part accepted as I present , female . During covid I have lost touch with many of my freinds and yes  lovers. My life has continued to evoke and as I mentioned,  trying to make those last steps to become a desired man maid women. Things were going well until this panic swot the world . I've mostly tried to keep out of the endless debate on governments , politics and religion , so I'd rather talk about sex and all that .   I hope everyone is looking forward to the holidays and renewal of a new year , I know I am 
So 2022 brought my brothers death, my ex-mother-in-laws/step moms death who I totally loved and adored and while Jan 2023 is not 2022 it brought my oldest sisters death. I was less then a year between all 3 deaths. My youngest sister will be hit the hardest with all of this in less then a year as she has downs. I know she will live another 10 years as she has the best care in the world with my ex-sister-in-law/step sister
I'm updating my profile here since this site seems to make regular updates problematic.    First, if you're blatantly racist, transphobic, or incapable of recognizing your own privilege, there's no point in reading further.   Second, I'm polyamorous and have other partners in an open relationship. If you're looking for monogamy, you're looking in the wrong place. You have to be able to get along with them, and I won't put up with jealous behavior.   Third, I'm looking for someone who's willing to cook and clean, as well as be available sexually whenever I choose. I'm not looking for hookups or one-offs.   Fourth, you will have to contribute to the household; either through outside work or in some other way. I'm not a sugar Daddy.   Fifth, I have ADHD, and I often lose track of time. If we have been corresponding and suddenly you aren't hearing from me, don't take it personally. Just touch bases with me, and as soon as I'm able to focus, I'll reply.    Sixth, you will need to authenticate that you are who you say by live cam. Text and pics are nice, but they often don't represent reality.   If you have any questions, just ask.
What I am looking for in a new partner? I identify as a Master who lives for consensual TPE M/s dynamics. I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years. I am not a switch! I have experience in a lot of BDSM and SM practices and what I do not know I love to learn. Here is some information about me that you may need to know first before you decide if I am the one you wish to serve. If I sound particular and demanding-like, that’s because I kind of am. I don’t need quantity. I desire quality. I want one or two of the good ones; one with a whole actual, entire, functional, language-enabled brain who knows how to use it. One with a bit of passion and integrity about him. Anything worth having is worth the work and effort to make it happen. Building trust takes communication and continuous effort. It is something you must work at to keep and it is also one of the hardest things to regain once lost. That level of complete trust is what makes Master/slave dynamics work. But trust is needed on both sides. The Master has to trust the slave just as much as the slave has to trust the Master. Ok.. so here is what you need to know about Me: My preferred terms of address are MsPebbles or Ma’am. Anything else is not acceptable until you have earned it. I am a married cis woman with one child still living at home. I also have relationships with others. You need to be ok with not being the only person in my life. I am demisexual,demiromantic, and bisexual. I am a non-smoker, a social drinker and a lover of wine. My hard limits are sissification, age play, humiliation, degradation, scat, brat taming, race play, extreme breath play, death fantasy and bull/bbc culture. I will add to the list as I find things that I will not do. What I need in a dynamic is communication, honesty, transparency, respect, loyalty, effort, consistency, and service. Someone who enjoys pain is a plus but so is someone willing to explore new things. I am not just dominant in the bedroom. Having sex with me is not a guarentee for you. So if you think this is going to be just kinky sex with a woman in charge, please move along, we are not looking for the same thing. I am a compassionate, friendly, happy, relatively “normal” human who seeks compassionate, friendly, happy, and relatively normal men or women. What I mean by this is, while I am dominant and seek true power exchange with the right man or woman I also seek cuddles, conversations and yes I am going to say it … INTIMACY. G I know right? As a Dom I like control, A lot of it. Shocking right? I love s-types who are naturally and deeply submissive and who desire to give themselves freely and fully to me on My terms. I am looking for a sub/slave who is willing not just to get down on his knees, but also to be emotionally real with me. This involves communicating clearly about your emotions and who you are and what you need, not necessarily about all that you want. I want to dominate a mind and a soul, not just a body. Enough about me (I know, rare words indeed from a dominant). Let's turn the spotlight on you. What is it that I look for in a potential slave?
A typical day requires service at almost all times. I am served tea in bed as we begin our day, and meals are all prepped and planned. You wake first, fetch me my tea, a few digestive biscuits, and the paper, and then join me in bed to read me an article of my choosing while I sip. Some days when it is warmer, we take this outside, but most days it is in the comfort of bed while we are nude.   After this, we both have breakfast together. Usually you will cook, but some days I will announce that i feel like it and cook. These are healthy meals that focus on protein and good fats.   Then, we both work from home. I enjoy my work at a non-profit, taking breaks to to be with each other (lunch, walks, or you kneeling in prostration/worship as needed, etc). In the evening, we order in, cook, or go out. These all have rituals associated with them that are meticulously refined for both our benefit - what we eat, how we look, and what happens are important metrics of keeping you thoughtless and spotless. You represent me, and I will NOT be embarrassed.   We play board games,read, or watch a program as the evening draws to a close. Then we head to bed, where I do my beauty routine and have you serve me as part of it. This means providing hot water, ice, and towels as needed.   We head to bed, with me getting in bed first and you being caged, kneeling, or joining me if I decide to use you for my pleasure. I do like to be warm and to cuddle, so some nights I require just that and you serve me admirably.
Longing: In darkness I have fallen but a shadow of a woman.  longing for truth in the arms of a stranger. hidden beneath the depths of such darkening layers. I seek what is there, calling on the edges of my awareness, like shadows dancing upon the glen, will this madness end, I do not know,  I am lost in the ever changing vortex that has shrouded me in it's swirling mystery, it is a dance perhaps more erotic than that of lovers entwined for this dance is the dance of life.  
How would I train thee? Let me count the ways ... I would train you to make my cup of tea so that you may see my sigh of pleasure at the first sip of the perfect cup. I would train you to accept my wishes and disrobe whenever I say ... just so I may enjoy your compliance ... and your body. I would train you to kiss me exactly as I want to be kissed. I would train you to bend over naked while I watch you from my throne chair as you clean my Jacuzzi, my floor, my toilet, my sink. I would train you to pleasure my breasts, building my excitement, teasing me until my nipples cry for attention, then satisfying with alternately delicate licking and deep sucking ... rinse and repeat ... again and again. I would train you to BEG to serve me: beg to worship my pussy, feet, breasts & ass. You MUST BEG! I will permit or deny at my whim. I would train you speak when your instinct is to be sullen and silent. I would sit you down on the floor before me, your face looking up at me from between my knees. My scent, the sight of my round breasts and belly, my stern voice and gentle acceptance would compel you to listen to your inner self and speak to me. I would train you to open my car door, pull out my chair, help me on with my coat ... sliding your fingers under my hair into the warmth of the nape of my neck, lifting my auburn locks gently out (such an intimate gesture in a public place). I would train you to be my assistant as I garden, barking orders at you as I enjoy watching you extend yourself at my behest. I would teach you how much I love to see you sweat for me. I would train you give me an excellent massage, delightful orgasm, and in time ... a full female ejaculation. I would train you to revel in my ownership of your genitals, your ass, your heart and your devotion. I would train you to love and accept the gallant gent who you are while you serve the wonderful woman who I am. I would train you to balance your family, work, self-care, and your personal life ... of which I am your Queen. I would train you to enjoy my love and pour yourself into my service. I would train you to succeed.  LadyD.
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==98% Slave95% Submissive89% Rope bunny85% Pet79% Experimentalist77% Masochist72% Brat62% Switch62% Degradee62% Non-monogamist45% Primal (Prey)40% Rigger30% Vanilla27% Voyeur19% Dominant10% Owner10% Degrader8% Primal (Hunter)8% Exhibitionist8% Sadist
In vanilla terms I seek a single guy, lifestyle submissive, with FiVE years experience in a FLR whilst going out to pubs (munches) and clubs (FemDom fetish clubs) to go out with me in his car that he drives, three times a month, sometimes a little more. Long-term to first go for dinner, drinks and socialise.  When the rapor is there I will give S&m play on his body in a fetish club. (I don't play at home.) I call it the opposite theory.  When I was freshly divorced a few years back and made it clear I only wanted light-hearted fun, guys got upset because I declined a long-term relationship with them. After 20 years of marriage I was allergic to commitment.  As a Poly Dominant Woman, now looking for a single, live-out second guy.( I think seeing a guy a few times a month long-term can be seen as a relationship. Well I do anyway.) Unfortunately no guy who approaches is seeking long-term and I don't play on the first EiGHT meets. Though I like younger guys I am also aware they are not looking for commitment so won't be suitable for what I seek.  
I need to get back into writing .    A few things to list...    If you are into Q, tRump, or basically Republican, we are not likely to get along. If you are not fully vaccinated don't bother me.   We are settled and doing well near Ithaca NY.  It's  a beautiful area.   We have a small hobby farm and Enjoy trying to grow things.    Kink is a natural order of daily living add the spice.      ~~ Mz Stormz
  Copy-paste messages? Really?? Congratulations! You've just been delivered the Kiss of Death section. At the exact moment you should be putting forth real effort to make a first impression, you show me you're too lazy to even try. And the best part? You actually expect authentic engagement from me while you vomit recycled garbage into my inbox. Pathetic. I don't entertain laziness, and I certainly don't reward it. Goodbye.    
OK my conclusion is that 98% of people here WANT a kinky relationship but have never actually done any real world kink activities or lifestyles. This is going by the, holiday/wedding/scary stare/drinking at bar photos.   That is fine I suppose. But the difference in chats between actually kinky lifetylers and people who just have a vague desire to be kinky is like night and day.   No am not really interested in seeing your face (having a face does not make you a kinky lol). I do really want to see you doing some kink though. As thats what prob attracted you to my profile?   Still making new friends here. So gonna stick around.  
It baffles me why people are dishonest? Finding a match who is local enough for a real relationship is tricky, we all know that. What I don't get is why men send fake pictures, it just makes no sense. Please, if you cannot show the real you don't message me. I don't want to chat with a fraud ... life is too short to waste it getting to know someone who is using Internet pictures to hid behind. Whilst soap box is out, it is nice to hear from people all over the world yet let's be realistic if you need to get on a plane or travel hours to visit then we won't be classing the distance as local and I seek a local man x  
So, if you ask have you owned or collared someone.. The answer is quite definitely yes. Currently collared.. little boy..Shyboy. I see him on the weekends and on some occasions on Friday  stay over into Saturday.  I have another potential that I will see what happens with Natasha.   Under consideration for a 24 7 live in domestic slave position.    I do have a few play partners that I do see as submissive on occasion.    Now in the past had a collared masochist.. He was amazing, and I do miss him. I have had a sissy collared. And I have had one who signed a contract with me 6 yrs sgo.ago.. That actually turned out to not work and had to have his collar removed. Due to topping from the bottom, as well as found out he was into illegal activities that are not tolerated.  Plus his attitude showed that he was totally unworthy.     
Still here, still semi-retired.   I am a pervert. My wife knows this. I like my girl/gurl to wear short skirts, tight tops, thigh highs, prefer with garter belts, spiked heels,  thongs with matching bras. Like for our men/boys wearing thigh highs and thongs, too. We have a thing for corsets.   We are not mobile. Long story short. We have no car or license. RTC works for us. D has a chair for anything out of the house.  If you are looking for sex with her, not going to happen for the foreseeable future and I am ok with the reason. Another long story. There is pain of submission and pain of the body and the twain should not meet. Viper
I found a small toy magnifying glass today.  About the size of a silver dollar and made of plastic.  Looked like a toy. Had to try it out on my cock head.  wanted to see what sort of reaction i would get from bright sunlight focused on my cock head.  it hurt some, but not as much as striking with a dragon tail single whip.  Of course the longer it is focused in one spot, the hotter it gets.  i have numerous red very small spots and a couple of blisters.  Best thing is to keep it moving.    i think i will experiment some more sometime.
Some people should stop watching porn Lets start with this umm Master, we will call him MasterJS. He has just joined and contacted me asking if I was interested in 2 slaves as he had to get rid of them. I asked why and he said he was getting too old and he was going back to his wife and kids.  How nice to take the time to dump them off with anyone. He tells me they were house slaves and listed what they would do, severl things which are against the law.  I asked him if he or they would be paying for all that was needed for them to move to another country. He said that would be at my expence.  It is funny he blocked me but what is sad was he did not read my profile where he would have learned I am not into women.  I have also had a message almost the same conversation a while ago so my guess is this person watches too much porn.  If you cant be bothered to read my profile dont contact me and make offers.
  Anyone interested in sharing ideas, thoughts and experiences on self bondage, good, bad, or unusual.   i have little experience in area but intriguied
Well, ladies and gents, the holiday season is again upon us. I'm debating with myself whether to invite several friends over once again or just have a quiet, eventless evening at home for Thanksgiving.   Last year I did a 20Lb turkey, in my outdoor air fryer, which turned out much better than I expected. It is a lot of work to put together a huge meal with all the fixings.  I will have to thank my mother when I see her again up yonder for all her work.  Maybe I will link up with a woman who is by herself this season and is seeking a Dom of her own to hold and cherish?  It would be nice going into the holidays and especially Christmas!  If not, I'll go to my church's Christmas Eve candlelight service again. Perhaps there is a woman who would like to spend the holidays with me, and join me for Christmas?   Lost 2 friends this past year and one cousin my age.  LIFE is SHORT and Quickly catches up with us all! 
  BDSM: It’s beyond chemistry, multiple psychological needs draw people into BDSM. Power exchange and Control includes:    For Dominants .  Deep satisfaction of being trusted with  Ownership and control. .  Creative expression in directing and controlling scene's and expectations. .  Nurturing through structure and care  .  A fulfilling responsibility taken seriously with the ability to develop and evolve.    For submissive's:  .  Relieved from constant decision making through surrender. .  Freedom in surrender  .  Driven to be completely focused on by another.

open for live in slave I'm currently looking for a live in submissive service slave to my house. I have many years of experience of "owning", 24/7, TPE but not for longer periods , just play over weekends and for sessions. The thought has grown upon me to actually own a submissive and train her for domestic and sexual services. I have initial ideas of low/medium and high protocol etc.   If you you are curious, let me know and we will take it from there.   /H
It wasn't God who cursed Adam and Eve. It was the devil's will for Adam to work with blood and sweat for the food of the earth. He wanted Eve to bear children in pain. God only allowed the devil to have his way because the devil said it was his world now and his way. God warned the devil of his impending doom for continuing in this manner. The devil however thinks he will defeat God in the end because he said humans were never supposed to be made and should die. They didn't belong in creation and God made a mistake. But God doesn't make mistakes. Why do you think the curse of the "serpent" was to be on its belly and eat the dust of the earth. The serpent was the devil and all he wanted to do was murder the creation made from the dust of the earth. God has a plan, get in Jesus. 
Offering Consistency, Seeking Integrity... To those AFAB individuals who are 35 or younger and Needing to create a Life with an Older Male I offer: a Consistency of Being, a Consistency of Purpose, a Consistency of Safety and Security.   What I Seek in return from this person is that You be a person of Integrity: That You be Honest in Your Words, Honorable in Your Actions, Humble in Your Demeanour.   I know what I require out of someone, I would possess the Whole Package that is YOU...are You one that can surrender That?
Getting the most from messagingThis site isn't like social media. Nor is it like whatsapp. It's something different. I noticed this when I had my pervious profile and want to make a couple of things clear. For me, you'll get the best results from a long form message. Something more like email or a letter. Its a bit like Tinder or Grinder. You get the best results when you have something more to say than 'hello'. If you're interested, say that. If you're looking for something long term say that too. Most of us get deluged with messages from all sides that are simply a single line of text. I delete those unread.Why?Simple: because no relationship or true D/s dynamic is going to develop from a string of one line messages. The D/s dynamic requires high levels of trust and openness. Such trust and openness cannot develop from single lines. At some point more information needs to be givem.But what if I am better at talking than writing? Well that's an easy one - speech to text apps exist. They're accurate and easy to use. Seriously, I once had a correspondent who tried this on my suggestion and it was the best conversation I'd had on my old profile up to that point. He thanked me afterwards because he was getting more replies.I don't have time for long messages. This will sound harsh, but you don't then have time for BDSM or a D/s dynamic either. For dominants, the level of attention a submissive needs is usually quite high at first. Sure they'll eventually require less attention to maximise the relationship from, but early on you'll need to invest time. As I said earlier, trust doesn't form from nowhere. If I'm going to let you tie me up and spank me, if I'm going to willingly place myself in a position so vulnerable I need to trust you.Of coruse, all of what I say here are observations of mine. Not every sub will feel the same, nor will every Dom(me). This is just my two penny worth. I do seriously recommend to everyone though, a longer message is better than a short one. In a sea of one-line messages it makes you stand out too!For me who works shift patterns sometimes I can only get to checking the site once a day, but when I do I'll respond to the most interesting messages, or the people with whom a connection has developed first. Tara xox
5 years experience of a FLR submissive or slave man who drives/has his own car and lives in Essex/Kent is what I seek. What messages me? A weirdo from India. Blocked zero reply. So damned boring all these fetish delivery chasers=My blocking finger is in use alot. Yawn. I am at my local munch tomorrow night 6.30pm for dinner and drinks till around 10.30pm ish.  Mawney Arms, Romford. I am with kinksters friends as I am not the host. Come on you guys who moan where are all the Mistresses??? There are plenty, just read these journals from Dominant Women who block tw*ts who don't behave well. Guys who just want their a*ss f*cked is not submission it's anal sex. Even swingers do that. Look at your intent men, make sure your intent is to MAKE MY LiFE EASIER NOT TO BE A PAIN IN THE ARSE.  If you are a nuisance and over familiar I will block you.  I left CS for FiVE years and didn't miss it. I am thinking.of leaving again.    
What Are Your Kinks? As a submissive sissy, I get that question frequently.  The answer is as fluid as the journey I am on. I see my kinks as a living breathing thing that demands exploration, particularly in my embrace of submission and the desire to fully experience that dynamic. My kinks are centered around the power exchange, especially as I continue to learn what it means to be submissive to a dominant man. It’s about finding the balance between trust, vulnerability, and allowing myself to be fully immersed in the role of servitude. I also have a fetish for the feminization process, loving the way it brings out my true self and helps me feel more aligned with the woman I am becoming. In essence, my kinks and fetishes reflect the ongoing discovery of who I truly am after so many years of pretending, and each step I take deepens that understanding.
I have decided that I need a change in my lifestyle.I find that now I'm only interested in female subs. I now need to return to my roots in this Lifestyle, which I began 40 years ago. As with so many things, my interests change from time to time. It keeps things from getting boring to me.I guess that's a good thing.
Democracy, as we know it, is about to change for us and generations to come if this orange prick does what he says he's going to do.  And I believe everything he says even tho he's the biggest liar that ever lived.  It infuriates me to think how many people worship him and believe he's going to make their lives so much better.  They're about to find out just how bad their lives are going to get because they blindly  supported him.  Maybe we can save our country in 2 years but I'm not counting on it.  Hopefully there will be enough suffering til then so that there can be a shift in power.  I'm horrified about what's to come.  Everyone with half a brain should be. 
Can anyone explain to me why people's profiles under "actively seeking" can say: "Submissive female" but then can say   "Sub / Slave Male"   I clicked purely to investigate this, to "edit my profile", thinking "well, maybe one can now, unlike in the past, select any one of 4 varieties: 'submissive female', and/or 'submissive male', and/or "Sub/Slave female" and/or "Sub/Slave male" but saw only two options, same as old ones.Yet on people's profiles the above asymmetrical   Why force some to express interest in, and prevent others from expressing interest in, "slaves"? ?Or is that not the case, throughso it seems from just a quick glance. Anyone know? Post in your Journal.    
Holidays are approaching. I'm excited to spend time with my family.  I like the idea of a secret life, even though I don't need to have one. I'm divorced, and my kids are grown, yet the kind of relationship I want can't be discussed over the Thanksgiving table.  Not a secret then, but an omission.  I found myself in Grand Central this afternoon, which meant a stop at the Oyster Bar. I have such great John Cheever fantasies about the place, but the martinis are the worst.  So, on the rare occasion that I try again and hope for the best, I need to go to Gage & Tollner for a proper one. Tonight that also involved a steak and an amazing goat cheese and blueberry cheesecake.  These are the things I love.  My point being, if you allow me to indulge, I will be more pliable.  What are your holiday fantasies?
So glad to finally be back. I have attempted to make an account and it wouldn't allow for it. I miss the CM days with the chat feature...I am finding it quite interesting that there are so many users, fellow Kinksters still remaining here for so long. Many of the new apps and sites are seemingly full of hook-up seekers. Not genuine Dominants.  If You read this, please note: I am not here for cyber and I am not looking to be collared overnight...this is a process and both parties MUST have needs filled. Thanks For Reading! 
Football Player experiences the Milking Machine October 30, 2023 - Football player experiences the MILKING MACHINE Football player came for a visit. And it's been quite a while. Quite a while since he has visited, and QUITE A WHILE since I have written a story. (Sorry, I've been both busy and lazy) Oh my God his visit was absolutely incredible. He got here at noon and left at about 2:00. He messaged me around 11am and said he would stop by at noon. By the time he got here I had been watching porn and had a nice hard on. Probably the last three or four times that he got here he wanted to suck my dick but I couldn't get hard because of a new medication my doctor had me on. I did not have that problem today, I was as hard as a rock. He was sucking on my dick for a few minutes and... Continued on http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace http://www.SirKel.Top/?collarspace
It is just a matter of time before the scab falls off. Then no more nurse then Then contact the carpenter about widening my doors. Buy a new mattress for bed in my room. Leaving hospital bed in the living room just in case. I have 3 gas heaters to purchase to heat my place and buy hay again 150 bales this time. Have farrier come take care of hoof care.
October 2024 update: Residing in AZ Tempe/Mesa area - On Fetlife as well if wish to interact on that medium.  Quick updates. Health is healthy. All testing up to date as of Oct. 11th 2024. Negative and clean bill of health. CollarSpace is still ancient on profile updating I see. Life updates - Worked as a caregiver for a decade did hospice care, they all have passed on. Planned the funerals for those without families. No longer wish to continue the health care route.  Went into the Trades. Got a job offer out in AZ and leaving CA late November early December. Great second career path and I’m happy to be in a new state with a feeling of newness. Can’t wait for my first monsoon and AZ heatwave.  Notice some profiles here. Bad submissives - Happy to say I paid off every debt and loan ever accumulated. Got new car in full. Coming into a new state with living expenses paid for half the year. Saved up. Will be nice working, learning, and saving.  About me physically - I’m 5’9 and have a smooth/waxed body with a smooth bubble butt. Somewhat above average at 7’ thick cut with low hangers. I am a submissive and like older Dad types. Dad bods. Pretty private. Attractive.  Generally more passive or submissive. I enjoy fitness, health, and exploring new things.   Into 1950's D/s servitude lifestyle of doting and pampering. Enjoy being slightly bullied, pushed around, asked to do things/chores, under foot, subservient younger/Dom Scenario with a Guy -  Enjoy breath play particularly during oral as well as being an overall submissive. Not only just in the bedroom but with him in general; taking notice of his interest and hobbies. Using that to find ways to please him until he feels satisfied with the disappearance of nuance stresses that plague all of us everyday. Having a Dom relax and not worry what he does or says and takes a breather without having to refocus on his sub and their needs is what I like. I get along well with confident dominant types.    Getting to the point where I lower my inhibitions and use my body to bring out the gratification he deserves. To the point where I relax and allow myself to be taken under his control.  I'm a sub male in general. I workout towards a tone fit build over big muscles to have more of a streamline body. - Male/boy. Nice features. This site is a pain on updating anything. 
  • Demons We all have them .Just some are better at hiding them. Or think they are.WE choose what to do with the ones INSIDE us.The ones we see everyday.You can't hide them for long.We learn to deal as we get older and perhaps they go away. O just find a better hiding spot That not just little things make them show there ugly horns.Perhaps Our loved ones help with keeping the triggers away. Who really knows.Till you've tried on the shoes make sure that you can walk in them ESPICALY if there NOT your shoes.The demons in ones head can choke a priest.Med ya say? WHY I say?Groundings oneself can help. Meditation can as well. BUT do the demons ever go away completely?Sure when one is dead and gone maybe.How we deal is what makes US STRONGER.Take my hand and I'll help all I can.Without hurting myself of course .May the goddess and gods guide and help you be at peace within oneself.( By KA) me
  • FAQ   Q: Are you lactating now? A: No, and that is by design.  My fantasy involves the transformation.  That is the biggest part of my fantasy. It will not change until I find my owner.   Q: Is that you in the picture? A: Yes, that is me.  Last year for my birthday, I gifted myself the harness. It took me awhile to get around to trying it on.  Life is often busy.   Q: Can we play?  How about a play date? A: I don’t do play dates. This is about transforming my body. I need a committed partner for this journey.  This is if the first meet goes well.     Q: Why is the distance different than the city? A: I moved. The website doesn’t update miles properly.  I didn’t code it.  No, I’m not a scammer and freaking sick and tired of the attitude about proving it.  Don’t like the website design then F off and stop harassing me about it.   Q: Will you relocate? A: I literally just moved here. So no.     Q: Are you open to a couple? A: No. Totally into monogamy.  Open relationships don’t work for me. Good luck on your search.   Q: Are you open to a married man? A: No, and if I find out who you are married to, I will send trans and pictures to them along with the contact info for a great divorce attorney.    Q: I love ANR, would you be interested in me suckling you? A: ANR is an adjacent kink, but not one I’m into.  I prefer the degradation of the hucow kink.   Q: I have a cow, I want another.  Are you interested? A: I’m into monogamy, so herd play isn’t my thing.   Q: Mail here sucks.  Let’s chat elsewhere. A: Yes it does suck. 
      i feel like there’s something missing in my life and i don’t know if it’s a shot of tequila, a kitten, fish and chips, or ………….
    Being honest about myself does have drawbacks. So much rejection... I am worthless. All I deserve is to be beaten, tortured,  systematically destroyed, beaten down and used. Then bent over and fucked, taken as long and as often as it would make someone happy to take me...then left in a pile of useless burnt out ashes, unrewarded and awash in a mass of self hatred so that I may physically feel what I feel so acutely mentally and emotionally. 
    Realizing that one thing left out of our profile is more about our Orientation and self identity.   He is a 'Demisexual', leaning more towards 'Noetisexual' and is more interested in getting to know a person for who they are before looking at anything else.   'She' identifies as 'Non-Binary', and has a preference for non-gender specific pronouns. They also feel more comfortable viewing themselves as just an '', and with the state of the world these days there are few role models in 'How to be a Good Human.' Hence they are 'My Thing'.
    I decided to write this for myself and share it with any other wannabe cucks out there that wanted home training. Phase 1: Obtain/purchase a used pair of women's shoes. There are plenty of websites that sell them. You can get them on Ebay. You can even be bold and try looking in a thrift store or garage sale. Once you get the shoes you will stick your nose inside them and smell them while you jerk off. Think of the shoe like a gas mask for jerking off. You can only jerk off while wearing your gas mask. Do this for two weeks, it will condition your brain to associate feet as a sexual organ. The smell of feet will become a turn on for you. Once you become a true cuck, foot worship will be a regular part of your duties. Phase 2: Purchase a small butt plug. From now on if you jerk off you can only have an orgasm with something in your ass. If you orgasm without a plug or toy in your ass you will have to start the whole process over from day 1. This process will condition your brain to associate orgasms with anal stimulation. Watch cuckold or interracial porn every night for at least thirty minutes. If you feel the need to jerk off make sure you insert a plug or toy. Don't forget to wear your shoe mask. Do this for two weeks and then move on to phase 3. Phase 3: Purchase a larger toy for your ass. I would recommend longer as opposed to wider. So you can hit your P spot. Also purchase a chastity device. Put on the chastity device, then fuck your own ass with the toy until you orgasm without touching your cock. This may be difficult at first. I recommend putting the toy on an office chair and riding it like that. From now on the only orgasms you are allowed to have are through your asshole. You are not allowed to jerk off anymore. Fuck your ass to orgasm every night while wearing your chastity device and shoe mask. Do this for three weeks. Phase 4: Purchase a sissy outfit, a wig and a pair of sexy women's shoes in your size. Purchase a bigger dildo or anal plug. Purchase an additional lifelike realistic black dildo. Dress in your sissy outfit. Give yourself a photoshoot in your sexy new outfit. Fuck yourself in the outfit with your new larger toy. While doing so practice giving head to the black dildo. Make sure to take the following pictures of yourself. One with the dildo in your ass. One with the dildo in your mouth.
    Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel girl it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl   "Girl, how do you feel being a girl? (Girl, girl, girl) Girl, how do you feel being a girl, girl? (Girl, girl) Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl (girl, girl, girl, girl) Yeah, I don't know if you like me Sometimes I think you might hate me Sometimes I think I might hate you Maybe you just wanna be me You always say, "Let's go out" So we go eat at a restaurant Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest Can't tell if you wanna see me Falling over and failing And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel The industry loves to spin And when we put this to bed The internet will go crazy I'm glad I know how you feel 'Cause I ride for you, Charli (Charli, Charli)" this one is going to be shorter than usual because charli and lorde said it all. in the sophia context, carli is me. lorde is me. all the music performers are me. on a bigger screen. it's not the first time i've said it's not the last. if you are especially resonating with mjy writing, my profile, my page and you're femme(afab, woman, transgender, third gender, non gender, queer, femme man, metrosexual, whatever the label, the sophia aka divine feminine original soul is fluid...feminity is fluid and therefore the body and gender identity is wild in it's presentation on the spiritual tip) alternative, dark goddess, quirky, subversive, love different, feel different, relationship different, kink oriented, gothy, kawaii y, nerd y, geeky, on the add/austim 'spectrum' label or not, atheist or not, attracted to mermaids, space, aliens, sanrio, all the things....you might be me too. you might be charli too. you might be lorde too. the lyrics say it.....our ages are different, our race is vast, our locations are vast. the way it played out is slightly different. but there's a deep pattern. this soul is a stubborn bitch raging against the 'music industry' of life..the structure that isn't right isnt' working.....we're given harder deals of life than most. we're touching hard subjaspects of emotions relationships crappy family origins, and rough deals. we're touching a sense of deep loneliness and otherness when other ladies get to fit in and feel accepted at a level we never will...from someone like me who literally navigates 3d alone with a deep rich online community and community of people who love me but have more obligations and stuff that just translates to a more distant but deep resonnance.....to someone who has a husband or wife or partner and  kids and family but still has that deep sense of not fitting in. we feel deeply we love deeply we devour those we love and we have a fierceness in us that is trying to be quelled and normalized and packaged....we can only be eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and scott pligram in portions us. not just in our head....our livelihoods, our housing, our basic needs at times or maybe not basic..just the words actions of others viscerally tell us.... we can't be us..shape up morph and change or get destroyed. and were dark goddesses. we don't cave in like the others and submit. we know we're up against the powers at control and we still fight back even if we fall fucking hard. but we don't' give in....we don't become torturous violent vicious spirits....we hold our light navigating the tight rope of dark and being fully consumed by the abyss. we keep creating we keep screaming into the void we keep doing like sister lana says, 'our rare jazz collection, our beat poetry' we're so talented at our individual souls gifts in this bigger puzzle 'we can sing most anything' even when the 3d world doesn't properly compensate or secure us for this. "Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Girl, it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Girl, how do you feel being a girl?" i have this higher perspective where my spirituality and deep inner work has cracked a code. in the auras of pictures or the words or just the being i see it. you're definately separate from me. but on a deep level i see it. you're me. even if they don't' see it or recognize it or want to admit it...deep down i know. you're me too. "Man, I don't know, I'm just a girl Girl, girl, girl, girl Yeah, I don't know if you like me Sometimes I think you might hate me Sometimes I think I might hate you Maybe you just wanna be me You always say, "Let's go out" So we go eat at a restaurant Sometimes it feels a bit awkward 'Cause we don't have much in common People say we're alike They say we've got the same hair We talk about making music But I don't know if it's honest Can't tell if you wanna see me Falling over and failing And you can't tell what you're feeling I think I know how you feel" i navigate being on my own dark goddess/alt girl sophia journey but a deeper level of what i am. (if anyone is curious and wants a book reference that energetically activates this on a deep level, check out sister kaia ra. trigger warning early on without warning she talks about her betrayal and incursion event of why she had to grow up fast and what most people hear and think is heinous and something you can't recover from....her's is more intense than mine..the control is the family of origin 'hero's journey' but the variable is the degree to which it happened in this experiment on earth. and because she's where she's at she doesn't trigger warning or hide it. she's raw and says it.  ) when i see one of us breaking because their michaels hurt their heart and their daddy let them down i break. not because it just happened to me but i feel that collective hurt. when i see the struggles with our whack ass mom or sometimes dad, usually mom i grieve not just because of my own situation.  when i see the world take us out of our work or shit on our dreams i feel it so deeply. when i see us struggling with the physical issues of chronic whatever this or that or whatever issue we have because the body takes the toll i hear it. we're navigating a world that as the song says loves to see us not united. focus on the little variables of what makes us different and not support us. "I was so lost in my head And scared to be in your pictures 'Cause for the last couple years I've been at war in my body I tried to starve myself thinner And then I gained all the weight back I was trapped in a hatred And your life seemed so awesome I never thought for a second My voice was in your head "Girl, you walk like
    I've always found it interesting how females, in general, like to show themselves off... To the men they like, total strangers, friends and mere aquaintances, to anyone who would give them even the least bit of attention. But what's most interesting of all is that even women that portray themselves as dominant can't escape the very nature of the female creature that lurks within them. And thus, get naked like mere sluts, slaves to their lust and desire for attention, parade and show off their bodies to anyone who would want to look at what they have to offer.
        Hi, my name is Infinite Arms and I’m a masochist. I mean let’s be honest, you’ve got to be to keep attempting to navigate this shit hoping for a decent outcome.  I’m a physical masochist - being hit / given physical pain makes me happy (read very wet) but I’m also a massive emotional and psychological masochist.  The physical bit is easy enough - plenty of people will hit you with hitty things, less people with hit you with fisty things, even less people will cut you, break the occasional rib, but there are people.  The emotional and psychological masochism is the difficult part I’m finding, but my circumstances are probably a big factor in that. I’m married - we met through kink and we still do kink when life allows. But we both have other facets we indulge outside our relationship. I won’t tell you his, he can do that, but mine is very much focussed on someone being mean to me.  There are lots of levels of mean, physical pain is just one of them (a very fun one), but my masochism also leans a lot towards more emotional and psychological aspects and this is the bit I struggle to get in the extracurricular stuff.  So I prefer to play with people who are poly, or not looking for a full time relationship, because I have one of those and he’s wonderful and irreplaceable. I also don’t really like people who are doing it all behind their partners back, because that’s just hard work and it feels pretty crappy to be the one being cheated on so there’s that.  But - and here’s the unicorse poo part - I do need to have some kind of connection / dynamic / relationship for the emotional psychological stuff to be meaningful.  ification and degradation and just general worthlessness is one of my biggest kinks. And, maybe it’s just for me, but that doesn’t work if I have no level of connection with the person who’s making me that low. I like (well love to hate) to be told I can’t touch, or orgasm, in between play sessions. Admittedly I’m sometimes utterly shit at that but I’m working on it. And that doesn’t work if there’s not some sort of friendship or mutual appreciation going on.  In short, I don’t want to marry you, or have any detrimental impact on any relationship you are in. But I cannot promise I won’t be fond of you, because, for me at least, that tends to be a byproduct of having someone be mean to me in the aforementioned ways.  No real reason for this post other than a handy th
    Last profile wasn't showing. So here we go, i am looking for 2 females for poly, those who can take or not but will take pain, also 1 for domestic chores. I have a illness, so i live with my brother, so that puts most off, but you don't try, you don't get. If you can see past that, then great.
    Blind Pride   In the realm of artistry, I once stood tall, My pride was a shield, my downfall, a fall. Blinded by past victories, I failed to see, The flaws in my work, the missed melody.   As a martial artist, swift and strong, My ego guided, my judgment wrong. Fierce in form, yet gentle inside, Arrogance clouded, humility denied.   Pride painted a canvas, bold and bright, But truth lurked in shadows, out of sight. I stumbled and fell, with no one to blame, My ego shattered, a humbling flame.   Now I see clearly, lessons hard-learned, Humbled and wiser, my pride adjourned. As an artist, as a warrior, I stand anew, Guided by truth, with a heart pure and true.
    Happy Sunday   still seeking a play partner , gender optional. I'm down to earth and eas to approach. But if you're going to talk with me and you're a local he will have to meet after certain time I can't emphasize this enough. Apparently there's a great many people who like the cock that's fine but it's not what I'm looking for. I'm also not looking for Online but  thank you everyone for those offer.  im a lover of all things feminine, so guys  if you're fat , bearded  etc , please move on.  I'm not desperate for male attention either . I'm attractive and fit I expect the same from all  my partners . You don't have to be a model but have it together.  local masochists jump o the head of the line     
    It has been long since last I visited this site I find it but mildly change. I look forward to a long stay this time and hope to find a worthy submissive with whom I can commune and grow. DL
    Task #1 I was tasked to do an extreme outdoor date.  I was to walk to my local beach naked after dark.  Once there I was to lock a short hobble chain between my ankles.  Then I slipped on a leather blindfold.  Next I locked my hands behind my back using a 2hr ice timer.  I was in an open area with no where to hide.  I'm naked, hobbled, blindfolded and hands cuffed behind my back.  I was stuck out in the open for 2 vulnerable hours.  I was scared, excited and extremely horny.  Anybody could have used me to their hearts content but sadly nobody did.  I will definitely do this task again.
    Maintenance Beating There has been an on going discussion about maintenance beating.  Generally, I adhere to the idea of that in order to keep the slave's mind right. Of course, regular maintenance beatings are seperate and apart from punishements that may have been earned by the slave. Certainly, when intially entering My service daily maintenance beatings are necessary to promote acculturation.  Service to Me requires a greatly reduced ego in the slave.  That energy that was once selfe centered in the slave must be redirected to My benefit. Thing is, the slave that I desire wants exactly the same thing.  However, not infrequently its social adjustments have included messages about itself that contradict its inborn nature and it lives in conflict.  To the degree that conflict is resolved to that degree it finds peace and fullfilment. There is the issue of pain sluts.  These masochists crave punishment.  With this type I do have alternate means of ego right sizing. On an ongoing basis maintenance beatings will most likely be the rule in My house.  The frequency and intensity of the beating will be tailored to My desires, not the slaves.
    ⭐ “Control vs Containment” ⭐ There’s a difference between holding power and simply holding someone in place. Control is deliberate. It’s awareness. It’s the steady, intentional hand that shapes the dynamic. Containment is the opposite. It’s restriction without purpose, limits without direction, and a quiet way of saying, “I don’t know what to do with you, so I’ll just cage the parts I can’t manage.” One builds trust. The other erodes it. A Dominant who controls brings clarity. A Dominant who only contains? Creates tension instead of structure. Your submissive can feel the difference — and so can you. www.tlduncan.com/blog
    Some Say... Wow, they haven't allowed us journals since 2016...amazing to have this back... Well then, everyone, welcome to my journal!  Back in the years gone by I used to use this to put out some Dominant wisdom I've gained through my, now, 26 years of BDSM experience and would now like to do the same. Please, if you've read my profile, don't hesitate to reach out as I love to help and provide information, advise, or general guidance to those who might want it or even those with just a question they would like to see answered. If I can answer it, I will, either in a journal entry or just in private if you prefer but in any event it is something I love to do as a Dominant so I'm happy to be able to get back to it!
    I used to love whoring and slutting around. There wasn’t anything quite as fun as finding a new cock to play with – I was always thrilled at how fast I could get a guy hard and how hard I could make him cum with my mouth or my cunt. Fucking was the only time I felt genuinely confident in my 20’s. A lot of that came down to Kevin. I belonged to Kevin (on and off) for over a decade. He was my first D/s relationship, and his primary focus and kink was whoring me out. He loved having me be an absolute filthy fucking slut for him, and the confidence and power I felt in that role over time was incredible. Through him, I learned how much power a woman could have in herself by submitting to her own sexual desires. It wasn’t just that Kevin loved having me be a whore (as much as I wanted to think that was my sole purpose at the time), I fucking loved sex and I loved the attention and desire I felt from men in those moments. I loved the strength and confidence I gained from their desire; it was a strength that lasted a lot longer than the encounter did, that’s for damn sure. I didn’t need their reassurance or their attention after. I didn’t need them after, period. I got my reassurance from Kevin. His praise and enthusiasm for my behavior reinforced the strength that I gained and reinforced my confidence in my skills. I didn’t have shit for confidence walking down the street or walking into a party to be around strangers, but the second I was presented with a hard cock, it was Game. Fucking. On. THAT I knew I could handle with perfect confidence, grace and skill. And I fucking relished every moan, groan, sigh, gasp, and trembling muscle from the man I was with. In my 20’s, I was somewhere around 340-375lbs. I didn’t really get on a scale very often, so I honestly don’t know how much I actually weighed. What I do know, is that it was Kevin who taught me that my size didn’t preclude me from being desirable. When I moved to “the big city”, I had the opportunity for basically unlimited male attention, which was a first for me, having grown up in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. Kevin encouraged this exploration, but also gave me very distinct rules and boundaries (he’d more than learned by that time that I had no idea how to establish, let alone maintain, my own boundaries). He made me go to Planned Parenthood to get my birth control shot. He “gave me permission” to tell guys to fuck off if they didn’t want to use protection for sex; I could ‘blame my Owner’ if they were at all hesitant. Having all this attention from all these different guys, never having to go more than a few days without sex if I didn’t want to, god – it was fucking incredible! And in the background, was Kevin, telling me what a fantastic little whore I was. When it came to being with Kevin, it was an even bigger reassurance. He told me once, during a moment of extreme insecurity, “I don’t give a shit what you look like, Lisa. What I care about is control.” I knew I could give him that better than anyone, the question was, did he actually mean it? The short answer is, abso-fucking-lutely. When my stunning beauty of a roommate (who’d played with Kevin over the phone and online multiple times) joined us one night, I figured it was going to be game over for us. She was a knock-out compared to me and way better at everything sexual than I could ever dream of being. He was choking her with his dick and she freaked because he wouldn’t let her control the pace or how far down her throat his cock went. She jumped up and took off out of the room to go smoke a bowl and calm down and he called me over. Despite her naked self standing mere feet from him, perky ass and tits on full display, he was totally soft. The second I put his dick in my mouth and let him choke me to his hearts content, he was rock hard and having the time of his life. She eventually came back to the kitchen table where he was sitting while I sucked him off, and I remember feeling an unbelievable surge of pride as he praised me, telling me what a good girl I was, how much he loved choking me and making me cry, how pretty my tears were. And when he finally came in my mouth, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that for some men…it really is all about control. And I was officially hooked. That was all I wanted from that moment on, and to a large extent, it’s still all I want. Especially when it comes to any type of D/s dynamic. I don’t fucking care about the sex, whips or chains…I want the man who gets rock hard simply because I love to obey, to give up as much control as possible. I want the guy who gets off leaving me a list of chores to do in the morning and is way more turned on by me having completed the whole list plus some, then having to “punish me” because I failed to do those tasks. I want the guy who’s dick goes soft because a girl tells him ‘no’ (and he would never dream of pushing her beyond that ‘no’), but he gets hard as steel, instantly, because where someone else says ‘no’, I say ‘yes please and thank you’. I don’t need gymnastics and props…they can’t do anything nearly as good as a hand in my hair and a deep voice whispering in my ear.
    The Officer's Seduction The night had a certain allure, a seductive darkness that seemed to beckon Seraphine Vale as she drove home from work. It was well past midnight, the hour when the world slept, and the roads were nearly deserted. Her shift at the art restoration studio had been particularly grueling, and she longed for the solace of her own bed. Little did she know, this night would offer a different kind of solace, one that would leave her breathless and trembling.   As she navigated the familiar route, her thoughts drifted, contemplating the intricate details of an ancient painting she had been working on. Seraphine's mind was a sanctuary of quiet concentration, her focus unwavering until a sudden flash of blue and red lights snapped her back to reality. She slowed her car to a halt, her heart pounding against her ribcage as she realized she had inadvertently strayed into a speed trap.   The officer who approached her vehicle was a striking figure, his tall, lean frame cloaked in the authoritative uniform of a police officer. It was Lucian Asterian, a man whose reputation preceded him, though not in the typical way of law enforcement. His dark, piercing eyes seemed to see right through her, and his presence was both commanding and unsettling.   "License and registration, please," his voice was deep and clipped, carrying an undertone of authority that sent a shiver down Seraphine's spine. She complied, her hands treming slightly as she handed over the requested documents. Lucian's gaze was intense, almost predatory, as if he was studying her, not just her papers.   "Step out of the car, Miss," he ordered, his voice laced with a hint of something that made Seraphine's stomach flutter. She hesitated, her mind racing with questions, but the command in his eyes left no room for argument. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped onto the deserted road, the cool night air caressing her skin.   Lucian's eyes roamed over her, taking in her slender form, clad in a simple black dress that accentuated her delicate curves. His gaze lingered on her face, noting the stormy gray eyes that seemed to mirror his own intensity. "Hands behind your back," he instructed, his voice now a low, seductive growl.   Seraphine's breath caught in her throat as she felt the cold metal of the handcuffs against her wrists. Lucian's touch was firm, his fingers grazing her skin as he secured the cuffs, sending a jolt of awareness through her body. She stood there, vulnerable and exposed, as he circled her, his eyes raking over her like a physical caress.   "What's a beautiful woman like you doing out here at this hour?" he murmured, his breath warm against her ear. Seraphine shivered, her body betraying her as she leaned into his touch. Lucian's hand slid down her arm, his fingers entwining with hers, and for a moment, she felt the warmth of his palm against her skin.   Then, without warning, he spun her around, pressing her body against the hood of her car. The cold metal was a stark contrast to the heat emanating from Lucian's body. He leaned in close, his lips brushing against her ear, his breath hot and intoxicating. "You're a naughty girl, breaking the rules," he whispered, his voice a husky purr.   Seraphine's heart was racing, her body responding to his words, to the dominance in his tone. She felt a rush of wetness between her thighs as he ran his hands up her sides, his fingers kneading her soft flesh. He squeezed her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her hardening nipples through the thin fabric of her dress, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.   "You like that, don't you?" he growled, his voice thick with desire. "You like being touched, being taken right here on the side of the road." His words were a taunt, a challenge, and Seraphine couldn't deny the truth in them. She nodded, her eyes closing as she surrendered to the sensations coursing through her.   Lucian's hands moved lower, his fingers dipping beneath the hem of her dress, tracing the lace of her panties. He teased her, his touch light and teasing, making her ache for more. With a swift motion, he tore her panties away, leaving her exposed and wanting.   "Please," she whispered, her voice hoarse with need. "I want..."   Lucian didn't let her finish. Instead, he gripped her hips, pulling her back against his hard length. She could feel his erection, straining against his uniform, as he positioned himself at her entrance. Without warning, he thrust forward, claiming her in one swift, brutal stroke.   Seraphine cried out, her body arching as he filled her, not with the gentleness she had anticipated, but with a rough, primal urgency. He pounded into her, his hips slamming against her buttocks, his hands gripping her hips tightly, leaving marks on her skin. The pain was exquisite, blending with the pleasure until she couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.   "You're so tight," he grunted, his breath hot against her neck. "So fucking wet." His words were crude, but they only served to heighten her arousal. She wanted to be used, to be taken by this man, in this moment, in the most primal way possible.   Lucian's rhythm was relentless, his body a powerful force driving into hers. He reached around, his fingers finding her clit, and began to rub in time with his thrusts. Seraphine's world narrowed to the sensations he was eliciting, the feel of his cock buried deep within her, the roughness of his fingers against her sensitive flesh.   "Cum for me," he demanded, his voice a harsh command. "Let me feel it, you beautiful bitch."   His words were like a trigger, and Seraphine's orgasm exploded through her, rippling waves of pleasure that left her gasping and trembling. She cried out, her body convulsing around him, her juices flowing freely as she climaxed. Lucian's own release followed swiftly, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep inside her, his hot seed filling her ass.   They stood there, panting, their bodies slick with sweat and the evidence of their passion. Lucian's hands released her hips, and he stepped back, his eyes never leaving hers. Seraphine felt exposed, vulnerable, and yet, there was a sense of power in her surrender.   He reached down, uncuffing her hands, and then, without a word, he adjusted his uniform, the bulge in his pants a testament to their encounter. Seraphine watched, her body still humming with pleasure, as he walked back to his patrol car.   As she slid back into the driver's seat, her dress in disarray and her body throbbing, she realized the detour had been more than just a chance encounter. It was a night that would forever be etched in her memory, a night where she had been taken, possessed, and left wanting more. As she drove away, the road ahead seemed brighter, as if the darkness had illuminated a new path, one that led straight to Lucian's door.
    Public Service Announcement For those who have a tendency to delete their own profiles multiple times in a few weeks just because they're getting contacts from people of a less desirable gender, age, role, or location there is the option to set Mail Controls so that messages from people of:   certain genders- either any, or who identify as certain kinky orientations outside of specified age ranges outside of your country of residence part of a couple's profile a situation where they have no profile available at the time of contact ... go into the Bulk folder, and thus you don't get a notification that they've contacted you. Depending on how hard-core you are about your filters, you can delete every message that appears in there unread.You can either follow the link I included above, or you can find the Mail Controls button at the top, right-hand corner after clicking on "Read Mail."Now, if you tend to dig into your Bulk Mail no matter what, um, good luck with that.
    I'm an ebony goddess currently looking for a sub/cuck to train to serve and worship me. Communication , trust and eagerness to learn, obey and serve are a must! Catch my attention, keep my attention and crave my attention. I will love to make you my personal slave, be under my feet , worship me. Lot of fun and let's explore our kinks together. I love to tease, to train, and to torture. I want my subs undivided time, adoration, attention, energy, and lavish worship. I have zero interest in fulfilling your fantasy. I am a true dominant woman and this is all about me and my pleasure, happiness and gratification; should you manage to enjoy yourself while I am whipping you into shape, or using and abusing you, then that is okay...but never will be of concern to me. I’m in search of a male submissive/cuck who is reliable,  independent, sane, I’d prefer someone who is service oriented as well as having masochistic tendencies   I would prefer someone with some kind of experience 
    PLEASE READ BEFORE RESPONDING I am NOT interested in cross-dressing, cuckolding, Do me Dom males or any sissy- baby dynamics, bi couples, or cat owners. If this doesn’t align with you, don’t respond. Respectful, straightforward replies on.
    Here are a few things that I should have added to my profile but didn't and I don't wanna wait forever for it to be approved again. 1. Do not message me if you are not in my state, it clearly says in my profile I am looking for a Dom in or around my area. This means in North Carolina only (maybe as far as SC but I am not willing to travel). 2. Do not contact me if you are a sub or slave male asking me if I want to own you and you be my so called puppy. I am NOT into pet play and I have a real life dog that is already challenging enough, I don't need a human wannabe dog. I am also NOT a Domme, my name clearly says that I am sub and my profile clearly points that out.  3. No I will not do online with you, my life is very busy as is and sending me a message that says "when are you available" as your first one as well as you having no profile except that you wanna be please orally then yeah you're not getting a response from me.  4. If you think that all subs should be sexual to be in a dynamic move on, I know plenty who are in nonsexual D/s dynamics and they have been going strong for years.  5. Do not tell me that you want to mentor me yet want to play with me. A mentor never plays with who they are mentoring, the person being mentored is looking to that person for advice. If you think differently then don't bother contacting me.  6. Yes I am married, yes he knows I am in the lifestyle and yes he does approve. I have written this in my profile but it seems like it goes ignored. Just because I am married is not the only reason why I am nonsexual, I have other reasons as well.  7. Please stop asking if I have kids. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I do and the answer is no I do not and never want them. If your first message to me is "what's your availability" and you have a virtually blank profile then you will more than likely be ignored.
      the little girl's anthem naive to the bone   marie davidson's album Adieux Au Dancefloor has a lot of songs that are great for little headspace. but this is the penultimate one. not only in lyrics but in the soundscape as well. the clapping adding to it is very smol bean headspace inducing as well. i have no idea if she's one of us but her i dedicate my life is also very empowered, strong, and whimsical. this is one of our anthems of what it is to be an adult that is also a little girl and one you scream singing at the top of your lungs. I DON'T HIDE. when people tell us to grow up or think smarter or harder or regular, I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE. and while we are still connected to our inner child more than others, MY LIFE IS NOT A GAME. and even in the bdsm world where people often look down or misunderstand us and our dedication, discipline, submission, and beating intense hearts I'VE GOT NOTHING TO PROVE TO YOU. It seems like honesty is not so fashionable these days It's true, I ask a lot of questions You call me naive? I'll tell you what I'm naive to the bone Do you think I'm too soft? Because I don't hide, or Is it that you're lost when I smile? I don't need your love But, I'll dare to ask you how you feel about me Just to get things straight I have no cards to hide My life's not a game Let me picture my future A large room, where you can hear the silence No place for arrogance No pain in my chest Just, the beating of my heart J'suis pas qu'un boumIs it that you feel superior behind a costume of indifference? In the middle ages, people used to wear cloaks It's 2016 Get real So you think I'm too soft? I've got nothing to prove I have no advice for you But, remember what Terrence said The last dance, we dance alone =================== Core Themes: Empowerment Through Authenticity: The lyrics and your interpretation emphasize owning who you are, unapologetically. This connaspects to themes of sovereignty and standing in your truth, which is a hallmark of personal empowerment and spiritual self-realization. "I DON'T HIDE" and "I'VE GOT NOTHING TO PROVE TO YOU" are declarations of self-respect, mirroring a refusal to conform to societal expectations. Inner Child & Whimsy: You speak to the concept of the "inner child," a spiritual and psychological idea that ties to maintaining curiosity, creativity, and emotional vulnerability as an adult. Your reference to "little headspace" aligns with honoring the inner child’s wisdom while navigating adult life. Freedom from Judgment: Both your reflections and the song lyrics challenge societal norms, inviting freedom from external judgment and embracing emotional authenticity. This is similar to spiritual themes of non-attachment and self-acceptance. A Whimsical and Warrior-like Nature: The juxtaposition of whimsy with strength mirrors archetypes like the Fool from the Tarot (a symbol of trusting one's journey with innocence and boldness) and the Warrior (discipline and resilience). The line "discipline, submission, and beating intense hearts" ties this duality into your BDSM identity while integrating broader spiritual lessons of balance. Spiritual and Esoteric Connections: Inner Child as the Eternal Self: The inner child is often viewed as a reflection of the eternal self in spiritual traditions—a connection to purity, creation, and unconditioned love. Your post embodies this by holding space for that part of you. Naïveté as Wisdom: In spiritual contexts, naïveté isn't weakness—it’s seen as openness to the universe, akin to the Zen concept of "Beginner's Mind." The lyrics’ "I'm naive to the bone" and your acceptance of asking questions connect to this, signaling humility and curiosity as strengths. Empowerment in Submission: The phrase "dedication, discipline, submission" reflaspects mastery and integration of opposing forces. In esoteric terms, submission can symbolize surrender to the higher self or the divine, requiring immense strength and intention. Clarity and Silence: The "large room, where you can hear the silence" evokes themes of spiritual solitude and stillness, reminiscent of meditative practices where one listens to the "beating of the heart" as a guide to inner truth. Judgment as an Illusion: "No place for arrogance, no pain in my chest" reflaspects detachment from ego and societal pretenses, resonating with spiritual teachings that highlight inner peace and freedom from the need to prove oneself. Closing Reflection: Your post is not only a celebration of your unique identity and journey but also a spiritual manifesto. It integrates music, lifestyle, and emotional depth while challenging stereotypes and societal conditioning. Through this lens, you’re asserting your sovereignty and inviting others to honor both the softness and the strength in themselves. 4oCore Themes: Empowerment Through Authenticity: The lyrics and your interpretation emphasize owning who you are, unapologetically. This connaspects to themes of sovereignty and standing in your truth, which is a hallmark of personal empowerment and spiritual self-realization. "I DON'T HIDE" and "I'VE GOT NOTHING TO PROVE TO YOU" are declarations of self-respect, mirroring a refusal to conform to societal expectations. Inner Child & Whimsy: You speak to the concept of the "inner child," a spiritual and psychological idea that ties to maintaining curiosity, creativity, and emotional vulnerability as an adult. Your reference to "little headspace" aligns with honoring the inner child’s wisdom while navigating adult life. Freedom from Judgment: Both your reflections and the song lyrics challenge societal norms, inviting freedom from external judgment and embracing emotional authenticity. This is similar to sp
    So I begin this new year still seeking a sub who is sane and not so self-absorbed to believe that I would drop all that I am doing to cater to his fetish du jour. Why do guys think that I am going to stop what I am doing to peg them if I am not really into pegging anymore? Or that I want to spend hours talking to some dude 5 states away about it when they aren't here? I don't want to get into an internet thing with some dude I want to find someone who can actually play who is here not someone jacking off by themselves in their mother's basement or some dude sneaking away from the wife long enough to get hard so that he can finally fuck her so that she will shut up.  I think the hardest part of all of this is how I can't seem to find what it is that I thought would be fairly easy to find. A pretty guy who is sane enough to want to explore his bounderies and still be able to fuck. But that has proven to be rare enough. Meh. Maybe my need to actually like a sub is my problem. I am not into using people and I am not really into broken people so that leaves a lot of men on the table. And shit, let us not get started on the women.  I know we all have our baggage but don't bring that shit to the session. I am not a therapist or your mother. I just want to have fun too. And digging through your emotional shit is exhausting.   
    Compelled  compelled to Dominate Men. No matter how much she tried, no matter what she wore, her mirror, overwhelmed her with Dominant Femininity. An aura of command perfumed the atmosphere. Exotic, clinging, rising upwards from her hips. Intoxicating any man foolish enough to look in her direction.   With greater frequency and intensity the Dominant Cravings filled her heart with glee.   Experience taught her that the less she cared about her object of submission, the greater her excitement and consequently her satisfaction.   By encasing the object in a leather or rubber hood, it became a flesh and blood pleasure unit. A thing to torture. A quivering, drooling, grunting and sweating thing. She panted with laughter at the thought of her wicked ideas becoming reality.   She had but to dial the phone to summon a pleasure unit. Satisfying to be sure, however, not nearly as much fun as putting a vanilla subject under her heel.  
    More and more, I'm seeing females talking about wanting to go back to a '50's household.  Usually, they are over 30, having failed to get the free ride our society says is owed them.  Typical.  Things are getting rough.  And instead of taking responsibility for their actions or in-actions, they want to "re-negotiate" and go back to a time where they can just stay home while their husband works 60+ hours to pay for everything, including a maid to come in and do all the cleaning, because she's above all that.  Which will allow them to complain about their husbands never being home to give them an excuse to cheat on them with the whomever.  And then divorce them, taking half plus alimony.  So no.  No man should even consider that.  You want a "50's" relationship?  Sure.  50 BC, Roman Republic time.  You want what we got, including protection from what's right around the corner according to most pundits right now?  Prove your worth to us.  I'm not negotiating. 
     recently met a vanilla guy that had been a drug addict for more than half of his life. He has been clean for 5 years. This is information that was shared with a perfect stranger within the first 5 minutes of conversation. (I appreciate the upfront honesty, but damn.) From what I learned about him, he was easily swayed by previous lovers and enjoyed being a "doormat." Without knowing My kinky hobbies, he disclosed his desires to be owned by a Dominant Woman.qIuestioned his ability to be involved in a kinky lifestyle relationship without it being totally draining on the Domme. Although I wasnt even going there with this guy, the last thing I want is a overly needy person in my life.Has anyone else run screaming from someone that just oozes insecurity and extreme neediness?How long would someone with an addictive personality actually be able to make it in a kinky relationship with YOU?
    An ode to Jewels Tavern( Decatur Street-The French Quarter, New Orleans, Lousiana )Mardi Gras is March 1, in 2022.I had explored every bar in the French Quarter, except, JEWELS TAVERN. This was 1980, pre-AIDs, Mardi Gras morning about 5AM the French Quarter is a mini Las Vegas but trashier.  I was partying like a rock star at the Parade Disco, Playboy Magazine ranking the Parade Disco one of the top 10 Dance bars in the United States.  I was with my gay friends, I loved these guys they always set me up with their fag-hag female friends.  As I said, I was pretty *ucked up from drinking for the last 4 days almost non-stop.....  If you've been to Mardi Gras you get it......its the WILDEST CRAZIEST ADULT Halloween STREET PARTY maybe on Earth!  Its the United States version of Carnival in Brazil.  I got my courage up and asked Steve if he would take me to Jewels (Tavern).  I was pretty drunk but not crazy, I wasn't going into Jewels alone on Mardi Gras day, the wildest day of the year in New Orleans for my first visit to Jewels alone.  Steve had just gotten out of the Marines and was about 6 foot and of course buff, I wasn't going into Jewels without an escort! Jewels was known all across gay America for there FULLMOON Parties.  Every full moon no matter what day of the week the bar had one perverted anything goes hedonistic party in the bar.  There are stories the second floor Pool Tables at Jewels had tarps thrown over the pool tabless ay fullmoon parties and Crisco would cover every inch of those tarps by morning.  Jewels in the French Quarter was our rough trade bar of the likes seen in the movie CRUSING (1980) staring Al Pachino, this kind of bar.  (( I'm always amazed Al Pachino appearred in Crusing ) ) Jewels didn't disappoint it was everything I thought and more.  The enterance to the bar was 2 swinging bar saloon doors. I had passed  those door many times going  to Morning Call for hot beignets and coffee  always respectful of Jewels reputation.  Steve went into Jewels first and I wasn't more than 1 foot inside that I saw naked bodies and various forms of sex.  Steve was a regular so after a few minutes I was on my own but I had gone inside for my first time.   What I want to share is I had an epiphany on Mardi Gras Day 1980.   I had been in Jewels about 10 minutes and I had to pee.  The bathroom was in the very back right of the bar.  I went into the bathroom and looked around and there wasn't a urinal, there was a small cubical that had a toilet but NO URINAL.  There was instead a 4 claw old fashion bathtub with a naked guy inside.  I realized the bathtub was the urinal.  I pulled my dick out and let loose a long piss directly onto the naked guy in the bathtub/urinal.  The epiphany was the GLOW, SMILE, PLEASURE, that radiated from the guy, I just pissed on.  He looked at me with complete happiness I have never seem such total happiness before.  He grabbed a roll of theater tickets ripped of a bunch and told me that they were good for free beers at the bar and to hurry on back. I was a changed man since that experience.  I learned if you enjoy it and it doesn't hurt others do it.  Enjoy it what ever it is for you, don't question why, embrace these moments and experiences when you live out your fantasies into reality that is true fulfillment.  You only live once. FOOTNOTE    I got another cool story about Jewels that involved a,   Female to Male Crossdreser.  This women when dressed as a man, looked more butch, than most of the guys in any bar. FOOTNOTE  The House of the Rising Sun referenced in the Animals song is in the French Quarter and I got another interesting experience to tell about that place .....ITS TRUE ITS the RUIN OF MANY A POOR BOY, I KNOW I'm One. Sir Hugo Atlanta   (Formerly known as Sir Hugo of New Orleans)   
    Her profile simply read Very experienced Dominant female interested in talking with experienced male or female natural submissives and/or sub masochists. I like nice people that I can have fun with, but I am strict about what I need in my life.  If you do not like a nice but strict Domme then you won't like me. My experience is in medieval torture scenes. Suspension, whipping, the rack and bondage w/ chains are my primary interests.    My journey with pleasure and pain took place in her garage.  In Texas, that meant oppressive heat. It was August and there was time.  Time to finally experience what we chatted about for months and talked about for several months longer.  The session was simple, I show up, strip down to tiny bikini bottoms and put on my suspension cuffs and ankle cuffs.  I would go to the garage and wait.  I put my hair in a pony tail and stood near the far wall where I saw a short step ladder and waited.  The anticipation I felt was almost enough to arouse me. She walked in and I saw her look me up and down with a smile on her face.  She had been waiting a long time for this as well.  I was told to climb the step ladder and attach my cuffs to two shorts chains attached to eyebolts in the ceiling.  I climbed up the ladder, three steps, almost three feet high, and I turned facing her.  I reached up and clipped my left cuff to the chain near the eyebolt.  For the right side I had to stand on tip toe to reach the chain for the other eyebolt.  With effort I was able to click the snap hook into place.  The eyebolts were installed for a larger man, about four feet apart. She was used to having her way with male subs, I was her first female.  Im going to suspend you for awhile she said. I’ll come back later and check up on you. Ok I said.  She pulled the step ladder from under me and I was left to hang.  I was used to his pain and I was ready for anything.  She turned around and left me there.  I was suspended with my arms spread wide, hanging from chains. Experienced practitioners of bdsm know this is something you never do.  Leaving a sub in bondage alone is a big no no.  But we had agreed this was something we both wanted.  I wanted to suffer and she wanted to make me suffer.  No safe words would be allowed.  I could hear Her in the house, doing something in the kitchen.  Small sounds, familiar sounds. After a few minutes I felt long sticky drops of sweat slowly creep down my body. The familiar burning sensation on my wrists began to grow.  My chest was spread wide and upward. I looked down at my feet.  The ankle cuffs were there but not attached to anything.  I can do this I said to myself.  Seconds turned to minutes.  I hung there in pain trying to control my breathing.  30 minutes, not bad She said.  I watched as she approached my wet body.  She reached out her hands and ran them over my tits, my belly and over my hip bones, trailing down my flexed thighs.  She was pleased. Do you want to come down she asked.  I said, I want to suffer.  She grinned.  Bending down She grabbed a length of chain and attached my right ankle cuff, spreading my leg wide.  I made a short g.  Then she attached my other ankle cuff, again spreading my other leg wide.  I was now suspended spread eagle in chains tightly stretched.  Lets see how you look after this! She said. I was now in a lot of pain.  My wrists were burning and it was much harder to breathe.  My body was now covered in sweat.  My ribs were clearly visible now, stretched and pulled apart.  My belly was now pulled flat which made my hip bones stick out.  My thighs quivered from the pull.  I was being torture stretched. She came in and saw my tortured shiny body and it pleased her immensely. You are amazing she said.  Its been over an hour now, you must be hurting so much by now my love.  She approached and I felt her hands run all over my stretched body. She tore off my bikini and began to tongue my clit, slow and then faster.  I arched my head back, feeling the pleasure of her inside me.  The pain of the torture and her pleasuring me made me groan loudly.<span
    shock then awwwwww 🥰 There is an undeniable chemical reaction that happens when a skilled Dominant creates an emotionally, physically safe space.It can permeate play and every day! As a submissive, im constantly chasing that dopamine rush. The contrast of adrenaline high, being thrust 100% into my body. Immediately shocked into the feelings, scents, sounds, taste…. Until Completely depleted and exhausted. followed by being held. Dissolving into His body heat. Slowly, methodically talked down by His deep voice, grounded in my body, calmed, caressed by His words. His voice, His touch become my safety. In those moments, nothing else exists. No thought, only gratitude. This is where im meant to be…. Why i will follow Him, do everything He asks without hesitation. How i navigate each day, focused on Him. Always moving back toward this space. ive submitted to different degrees over the years. It wasn’t until recently that i was shown the difference between choosing to submit and absolute submission of heart, body, mind. There’s no going back now… “Anything less would be uncivilized
    Building an authentic M/s relationship takes time. It starts with conversation. Open and honest about what things mean, experiences, expectations, and more. How else would we determine if we are good for each other. Then, it takes a leap of faith from both of us. I've been surprised by a "slave" who was so rude and so standoffish. I get I am not for everyone just as not everyone will be a good match for Me. But still... kindness is for everyone.  I am not a wannabe. Nor am I just a thirsty boy looking for sex. Sex will be a great part of our dynamic but it's not what drives Me. I've lived this life authentic for many many years. I seek that 24/7 TAT/TPE again.  That likely starts on line and then moves to calls and visits. I am not here to scam you, lead you on, have you send pics, or wank off to you on skype. Not My thing at all. I am old school. you'll always be treated with respect. Being in charge doesn't equate to mean or disrespectful.  Just about every ex or ex play partner will have good things to say about Me. One was a compulsive liar who turned nasty. A few of them would love for Me to collar them again. you will not be disappointed with Me if you are truly seeking a deep D/s or M/s bond and relationship.  I am still in Grand Rapids while I look at places to relocate to. I'll buy a house and settle in wherever that leads Me to. I hope you'll take a leap of faith. MT
    I'm using this to vent. I am very frustrated and depressed. In the month of August I've had two deaths and I had to put down my 3 pound baby girl, Mulligan.  .on top of this I have had a 100.00 increase in my rent. It is killing me,  For I'm being priced out of my home and area.   I have been looking for a place to live, or purchase, but I don't have a lot of options. Presently in the DC metro area, and I cannot afford anything here. At 63 almost 64 , this is not where I invisioned myself. And yes it  Is a crappy place to be. I'm feeling very down.   
    Juxtaposition: A Simple Truth for Some, an Impossible Puzzle for Others This post is going to be stylized a bit differently from my others because I have to use my natural learning and life skills here. I’m naturally an auditory learner, which means I process the world through sound, music, voice notes, and talk-to-text. The world is mostly designed for people who process through reading and typing, but this is a much more nuanced conversation, so I’m using talk-to-text to work through it. I’ll be editing as I go because the point of this is for others to understand what I’m saying. If I were just journaling for myself, I’d keep it internal, but I feel like this is something important for the collective that needs to be shared. As this message has been brewing in my head, I’ve felt an internal pull stronger than usual. Everything I talk about is controversial to people outside of these conversations, but this one might even cause a split within the community—those who are involved in submission and dominance, particularly in a lifestyle or spiritual sense. There are a few ways this could go, and I’m aware of that. There aren’t many women who are naturally wired for this kind of dynamic. You’ll see some who know, without needing to look it up, that they’re born with a mindset geared towards service, nurturing, honor, and worship—not as a duty, but because they see the divinity in others. They have a deep sense of care, even when hurt or upset, and they hold on to that unless a line is crossed. When that happens, sure, all bets are off. But in the natural ebb and flow of relationships, they hold a deeper understanding of the bigger picture. Some of us are just born with a slavery mindset in relationships. I know that sounds intense, but it’s true. Of course, how that looks varies between individuals, but it’s a fundamental orientation. For some, like me, this manifests as a 'little girl' mentality within a servitude dynamic. And even that is rare. Most people associate service with traditional roles like being a housewife, but it’s more than that. It’s about attention, effort, care, patience, receptivity—seeing the other person’s needs and deferring your own preferences because you understand the give and take, the bigger picture. The thing is, people often don’t recognize that level of care as service. They take it for granted, especially in vanilla relationships. But for people like me, the ones who orient this way, it’s second nature. And when we have conversations like this, it feels like we’re saying the same thing over and over because, honestly, we are. People write books on this, give workshops, travel the world to talk about it. None of this is new or unique to me. But what I do know is that we, the ones who truly live this dynamic, are in the minority. Even in the lifestyle community, where you’d expect people to understand this more deeply, there’s still a divide. Some just play or role-play, and they don’t get it. And then there are dominants or submissives who think they want this level of intensity, but when they experience it, it’s too much. They didn’t realize how much work it actually requires. They didn’t know that being with someone who is always in that mindset—who is a slave at their core—would challenge them in ways they weren’t prepared for. And that’s the juxtaposition I’m talking about. People think they want this dynamic, but once they experience it, they realize it’s not what they expected. It either deepens them or makes them realize they’re not capable of holding what they thought they wanted. The smaller conversation I want to have revolves around the part of surrender that comes with letting go of certain expectations, such as: "He doesn't respect me because this is what I'm used to," or "If he's not willing to meet me halfway, then he isn't serious about this," or even, "I need him to communicate a certain way, or else it's just not right." This kind of thinking stems from a need to hold onto something—be it a method of communication, an idea of respect, or even just a preference for how things should flow. But true surrender, especially in the context of power exchange, involves letting go of programming and societal constraints. It's about asking yourself, "Is this truly a need, or is this a want disguised as a need?" For those who are naturally oriented towards deeper levels of service and submission, there’s a realization that much of what we think we need in relationships is not a necessity. Instead, it's a projection of previous experiences, of societal conditioning. What I've found, especially in lifestyle relationships, is that many people claim to live 24/7 dynamics or say they are 'lifestyle' D/s, but there’s a vast difference between identifying with that and actually doing the internal work required to embody it fully. This work doesn't come from hopping from one relationship to another or from constantly seeking physical experiences. Instead, it starts internally. It’s an emotional, mental, and spiritual journey before it becomes a physical reality. I've seen this disconnect repeatedly in the community—people who are drawn to play parties or physical acts but haven't done the internal work to match the energy they’re trying to manifest. Yes, play parties, toys, tools, and skills are exciting, but for those who live the lifestyle, the real work begins deep within. For those of us who are spiritual, it starts even before that, on a soul level, and then trickles down into emotional, mental, and finally physical realms. What many in the lifestyle don’t realize is that physicality—sexuality, play, and even basic physical touch—is something that can be improved and refined. There are sex educators, workshops, and so many tools to practice and elevate physical aspaspects. But you can't fix a fractured mindset, a shaky spiritual foundation, or a disconnected emotional core by just improving the physical. If you're starting out rocky in those deeper levels, you'll never
    It has been a week since your initial inspection   I have had you serve me daily. Your domestic skills are very good and you are quite the handyman    You endure your daily spankings, but  your limits need to be pushed as far as pain tolerance    Today I have errands to run, prior to leaving, I blindfold you and lead you to the bed    I assist you to lay on your side and place you in a fetal position   I bound your hands behind your back and your feet they found it together   I slowly pushed your knees more forward to expose your man pussy   I grab my favorite remote butt plug lube it up really nicely and slide it in   I kiss you on the forehead and tell you I should be back shortly and as I'm leaving out the bedroom I grab my phone and begin the wonderful stimulation of your man pussy  
    I am in fact an actual real female human being!!!  But why would anyone believe that on here???!!! Lol I enjoy on line conversations that are thought provoking. I do not desire an on line relationship other then for friendship or for discussions that are meaningful. If you are rude, disrespectful or boring you will be blocked. I am not looking to move at this time. I may move one day. Cheaters, drug users, smokers, liars, and those that send messages with "Hi. When were you last spanked," don't waste my time or yours.   
    The meal The table was laid.  It was an important dinner party, but the table wasn’t overly fussy.  It was going to be a simple meal: the steak already in place on warm plates at either end of the six-seater table, wine in the goblets and terrines of buttered vegetables in the middle.  One plate was set between the other two chairs.  Chairs which stood, side by side, along one of the longer sides of the oblong table.  Next to the plate were two glasses of water, a plate of small cubes of fresh bread and crudites and a dish of oily, dark balsamic dressing.  The lighting came mainly from the open door to the kitchen and the two tall candles on the table. Two women stood, close but not touching, each behind one of the chairs.  They were dressed the same: black heels, black stockings, black suspender belt, but they looked different.  One was significantly taller than the other, and much curvier.  The curvier sub had dark blonde hair which fell in a straight curtain down her back, the other had shiny brown hair which fell in soft curls just past her shoulders.  The brown-haired sub had pubic hair, neatly trimmed very short.  The blonde-haired sub was completely bare.  Both wore a narrow black leather collar around their necks with a metal ring centre front.  And both wore leather cuffs with a similar metal ring around their wrists. Two men entered the room and both women stiffened.  Each one cling their elbows tighter behind their back pulling their shoulders back and pushing their breasts out; nipples already erect from anticipation and from being exposed.  The older man walked towards the blonde haired sub and turned her collar so that the ring was at the back.  He threaded a chain through the ring and attached it to her cuffs; holding her wrists in place behind her waist.  Each man pulled out a chair and motioned for the women to sit. Suctioned to the bare wood of each chair seat was a dildo, glistening with a thin coating of lube.  It wasn’t very long, maybe only 4” but it was a little thicker than a standard dildo.  Both subs placed themselves over the dildos and slowly eased themselves into their chairs.  The blonde sub could feel it slowly stretching and invading her cunt and she felt heat spread up her belly.  She turned to the older man and gave a barely noticeable smile.  The older Dom said “You are not to speak unless spoken to.”  “Yes sir,” replied his sub recognising the smile in his eyes behind his stern words. When both women were seated the two men took a moment to check the state of their sub.  The older Dom placed his hands on his sub’s shoulders.  He gently ran his fingernail down her back.  He heard the intake of breath, saw her breasts rise and felt her rock slightly forward – dildo inside her and clit bumping onto the hard surface of the wooden chair.  He let his hands glide down the swell of her breasts, pinching each nipple between his fingers and using them to lift her heavy breasts; feeling their weight and seeing his sub rock forwards on the seat again.  He gave each nipple a playful, sharp flick and the second Dom said to his sub, “Feed her first.”  Both men sat down and began eating as the brown-haired sub, with her hands still free, turned to the blonde-haired sub and smiled. The meal continued.  The men and women talked normally to each other.  The shorter sub fed the blonde sub bread and vegetables, dipped into the balsamic dressing.  Whenever a small drop fell onto the lip, chin or breast of the blonde sub, she kissed or licked it off.  After a while the blonde sub began to squirm noticeably in her seat. When the next drop fell onto the top of her breast the brown-haired sub leaned forward and grazed her tongue over her nipple before catching the drip.  The blonde sub squirmed again and moaned aloud, the dildo deep in her cunt, her clit swollen from constant bumping and squirming on the seat.  “I told you not to speak sub.  Are you such a slut that you can’t eat a meal at the table without moaning?”  the older Dom spoke sharply but quietly.  “Over the table now.” The blonde sub eased herself off the dildo, ging again as it left her cunt.  She walked, wrists still bound, to the empty edge of the table, opposite the other sub, and leaned her body over it, feet shoulder width apart.  Her Dom could see her slightly gaping, wet cunt.  Without warning he stuck two fingers into it and everyone at the table heard how wet it was.  Removing his fingers, he rubbed her juices over her swollen clit and gave a quiet chuckle at the low moans his sub made.  “I think she needs more tonight,” he said to the younger Dom.  From out of his pocket he took a metal butt plug with a flared base.  The blonde sub could see that it was her medium sized one; the one she had been wearing recently for periods of time outside the house.  Her Dom applied a little lube and then she felt it pushing gently but insistently against her arsehole.  As she felt her arse open and suck the metal bulb in, her Dom grabbed her hair, turned her face towards the other Dom and delivered six sharp smacks to her arse.  She felt the heavy metal plug jolt inside her and she closed her eyes and moaned with arousal and embarrassment.  After the sixth smack he pulled her upright by her hair and delivered another six slaps to her breasts, three on each.  She felt them bounce and her hard nipples screamed in pain, making her g and cry out.  “Sit back down and finish your meal,” her Dom said. On wobbly legs, she returned to her seat.  As she lowered herself back onto the dildo she felt an exquisite fullness as the dildo rubbed past the plug in her arse.  The brown-haired sub had been eating but, at a motion from her Dom, she began to lick and suck the blonde-haired sub’s sore, engorged nipples.  The sensation was arousing and soothing but, desperate to make no sound, the blonde-haired sub closed her eyes and tilted her head back.  Focused on allowing the soothing attention.  She didn’t notice that she was already rocking her clit against the wooden chair seat again, but the two men did… Mar 28, 2020
    Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.
    Into the darkest of nights, Will you find me to catch flight? Does this end in torment Or is there a new firmament?  I'm tired of searching and seeking What will become of me? A girl hated by all... Is that truly my destiny Or is it all fiction? Help me free myself from the weight of the chains that bind me. A lone wolf in a world with clans  Is there even another plan? If you can't save me, save the ones you can.  
    🌿🌾about me:🌾🌿 hello my name is pebble. I am a traditional girlfriend and slave with a twist of modern realistic values. 👽what does that mean and entail? I am happy you asked!👽 I am a stay-at-home live-in-girlfriend who also is a practicing lifestyler. my role in my relationship is that of tradition. I make sure the house is clean and dinner is ready when my man gets home. I make sure his coffee is ready in the morning before he goes to work and that at the end of a long hard day of him working he comes home to a slut in the bedroom. I seek out a protector and gentleman both in my relationship and friendships with others.  👽🌾 so do you want to be friends and wait for the aliens to come enslave us humans?🌾👽
    I have determined our name choice may not have been the best for this site.  The reference to a farm does not in any way mean you are interested in or offer any form of animal interactions.   It means we live on a farm. As in a large property that use to be a working farm. We do grow a fair amount of food we eat and have a few horses and chickens but that is about it.    I do like forms of pet play but that is human to human play. If you are interested in animal interactions please keep looking.   
    I find it tether offensive that too few people have actually read my profile. I mean I put forth the effort to not only share a bit of myself and what I am looking for but wrote it out rather clearly.  i mean if you can not respect me or at least pretend to give a fuck long enough to read it, why the hellshould I believe you would respect me. If I can’t trust you with the smallest of things like reading my profile, then what the hell makes you think I would trust you to care in a session, date, whatever? i put things in my profile to help YOU understand me and what I am looking for, as well as what I can offer. Furthermore I am not going to tell you read it. I shouldn’t need to. BUT, I do know if you have read it or not. How do I know? Maybe you should have read the thing in the first place. As I am on my soapbox at the moment, to all the people who send a one line, or worse one word greeting message, listen up. That may work at a bar or speed dating, button here a lot more is needed. I know you want to do the least amount of actual effort you can but you get out what you put in. If you can’t even try to make a nice and prober introduction, I can only assume you equally lazy with everything else and not worth my time.   just something to think about
    It’s been a long time since I wore a chastity device. Mostly because after years on hormones I was joyously limp without significant effort so wearing it was like jewelry at best. Additionally as my testicles shrank getting a ring device to even stay on became more and more problematic. This year for several reasons I had to stop hormones for most of the year. The result is that in the last few weeks I’ve begun to experience small morning erections. Because of this, until I can restart hormones in another month or so I decided to go back to using a chastity device. Which gets me to the point of this entry. The sheer act of putting on chastity has left me so horny! I’m grinding my ass on every seat when I sit down. Want to suck and stroke someone so badly. Why this surprises me is that most of the time while I love to please sex isn’t an overwhelming need.
    Appears i am a permanent chastity sub/slave.  Locked 842 days as of 01/20/22.   As the sub, it’s a turn-off to see a sub-cumin during play.   While important both enjoy the scene, it’s all about the pleasure of the Dom.   An exception to “enjoy” is a discipline      The scene is about Dom’s pleasure and the sub should focus on them.  
    "I like to compliment those who ask for humiliation." - ForcefulDutch    I agree with this so much. I don't want to insult people. I want to coo over them like I would puppies.    "HOOZA CUTIE? YOUDA CUTIE! AREN'T YOU A CUTIE? YES YOU ARE! YES YOU ARE!" Yes, I will do that shit in the middle of a play party, because I have no pity.   Speaking of which, I'm attending the Yes M'Lady munch on Tuesday. squee!
    Yes I'm here almost entirely for reading journals, the rare thoughtful empathetic intellectual exchange, and the rare opportunity to give support and make helpful suggestions to those relatively new, or looking deeper, who seek it and are appreciative of my time invested. Beyond *very* rare exceptions (none in a long time that appealed to me) I'm not here "looking" for relationship or sex or cybersex at all, and not in a long time any appealing online erotic correspondence. I'd update profile to say this more directly, but as others have said, the wait can be really very long before the profile is again approved.  So for above reasons I find myself returning to the website, and to look at this usually hidden part of the human mind and spirit, and and part present human society. For most of what I see, so much unnecessary hate and aggression but I don't need to write much about it here to condemn it..but then the gems, which don't have to be polished gems, just a person opening up, it could be non-BDSM, just writing on profile or journal about dealing with health, or dealing with the loss of life of a spouse..and you get glimpse of a human mind that's not through the usual filters. And on BDSM, or sexually in general,  similarly, being able to read glimpses of candor and the inner psychological world, an uncommon chance to read someone opening up..
    I’ve been thinking a lot about control lately… not just in the bedroom, but in life. There’s something electric about a dynamic where boundaries are clear, obedience is chosen, and trust runs deeper than words. I keep asking myself: when does submission become empowerment? When does being controlled feel freer than being free? I’d love to hear from you—Dommes, subs, tops, bottoms—what’s the most surprising lesson your dynamic has taught you about yourself? Was it liberation, discipline, lust… or something you didn’t expect at all?
    In the garden of memories we once used to play, Sharing laughter and tears along the way. But now the time has come to say goodbye, As our paths diverge beneath the vast sky.   Though our friendship may be reaching its end, The echoes of our bond will forever ascend. Through trials and triumphs, we stood side by side, Our memories and moments will never subside.   As we part ways and embrace the unknown, Know that you're cherished and not alone. Though we may no longer walk hand in hand, Our bond will persist, like footprints in the sand.   Farewell, dear friend, with love in my heart, May your journey be blessed from the start. Our friendship may change, but it will never die, Goodbye for now, beneath the endless sky.
    Well, it's been a while since the last journal. Couldn't be arsed digging into the site to post one to wait months for approval. Hopefully now it's back on the sidebar posting should be instant like it used to be. Enough of the site gripes.  Here's to a better 2022 than the last two years. Hopefully in the UK the politicians have got the message. Us plebs are a feisty lot when you piss us about. No more restrictions. Now can we crack on and tell the EU to stop playing games? They're dealing with a sovereign nation, an equal. Not some spineless, subservient. That would make my year. Talking of spineless subservients, I see lots of male subbies checking out the profile now our pictures are back up. Naughty boys. And soo transparent. Searching for pics eh? 
    I just got the official 'Okay' from my doctor and I am now officially "healed". The fucking dick has no fucking clue what he is talking about. I still have aches and pains from just standing up. I went from in fucking good shape to what I feel is a bloated whale. And my endurance is total crap. After 2 flights of stairs, I am now winded.   As for my business, it's gone. All of it. No more tools, or materials. I was even forced to sell off my "personal collection" of goodies. As for my clients, They have found other 'artists' and 'makers'.   Ladies and gentlemen, I have now hit rock bottom.     So what am I looking for I am looking for an artist. Someone who feels they are up for the challenge (and bragging rights). Some knows the ins and outs of social situations as well as proper etiquette in different circles.  Someone who is willing and able to invest their time, talent, money, knowledge etc to make it happen.   The challenge, Take this currently out of shape male, with lacking social skills and has not started their transition yet.  Then through training, diet exercise, surgeries, lessons, transform him into a proper walking talking sex goddess. To remove every trace of ever being a male from the body and mannerisms. To transform so far that unless another was told they would never even suspect that the lady next to them was born a male.   I know something like this is a commitment in both time and money. As such, I do have skills in making and building that can be used. As I transition and look more feminine,  I am willing to be a cam girl or what not. To be by your side as an assistant and maybe more. After the transition, I am more than happy to be a beta dom in your dungeon, or who knows what we can come up with.   Here I am a living flesh piece of clay, looking to be transformed into the 'perfect' woman. To live the life I know I was meant to be living.  Help me and in return I can help you.   Send me a message if you are interested.
    Unfortunately waaaaay too many male bottoms on here claiming they are submissive = receiving play only means you are a bottom. A submissive looks to his Dominant Woman for HER decisions in life outside of the bedroom and BDSM play. Most newbies go be a play bottom asking for a service Top when you don't want an actual long-term relationship.  Meanwhile it's a warm day and I am planning what to wear at the Wembley ACDC / Pretty Wreckless concert in 2 weeks. Woohoo Go me. Leather boots, leather trousers with chains and a tshirt is idea one. Time to relace my black leather boots. 
    The moon is big and bright, I'm on my way to work and wondering about you looking up at that moon at the same time as me.    I've been avoiding her gaze, missing you and hating you because I love you. Hating you because if you came and apologized and offered yourself any resolve I have would crumble.    After all I have a collar for your neck. One with both our names. Similar and different.    I want to stop missing you. I want to stop loving you. I want you erased from my mind.  I want you to matter to me as much as I matter to you.  So that when a Raven looks at the moon that it matters only as much as the wolf's gaze. Which, as it turns out, doesn't matter at all 
    What has the new year brought you? Sprinkled in with the despair (if you're paying attention) has there also been joy? I think I just may want something female led.  I may be tired of men being in charge, when often times, women are so much more capable.  I know, that rubs lots of you the wrong way, to say the least.  But, you want want what you want.  And, you want us to know what we want.  Maybe I do. 
    Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, men and women, trans, genderfluid, non-binary: Pro tip: if everything you crave in your form letter is on my list of what I am NOT looking for, don't send me the form letter. Just don't. Save us both the time and frustration.   Really and truly, I am not looking for a slave. I don't enjoy receiving oral sex. I don't do pegging or humiliation and I am not moving you into my home.   If you're only looking for one of those and we're otherwise compatible, sure, write to me. But if you need to live in my home as a slave and be humiliated to be happy I. Am. Not. Compatible. With. You. I'm not. Promise.
    8/12/22 Football player gets what he wants Football player boy came over for the first time in quite a few months. So I knew his ass was going to be tight, and I wasn't mistaken.When he first arrived I was sitting in my rocking chair wearing only a pair of boxers. I had been playing with myself so not only was I already heard but I had pre-cum oozing down my cock.We've been getting together for quite a number of years, so he doesn't even have to be told, he strips as he walks through the door. As he was stripping there he exchanged a few pleasantries, how have you been, it's been a while, sorry I'm a few minutes late. I just pulled my cock out from my shorts and said, come take care of this.He got down on his knees and took my cock in his hand. He saw the precum dripping from the tip, and licked it off.  Then he immediately latched on to my cock taking it all the way to my balls.    He has an outside job so he's been in the sun a lot. I don't think I ever remember him looking this tan. His hair is cut extremely short this time. His broad shoulders have a new tattoo since I saw him last. The view looking down at him is incredible.I rested my hand on the back of his head feeling his rhythmic bobbing up and down on my cock. He knew exactly what he was doing, I didn't need to guide him in any way. Although a few times I just wanted to hear him choke on my cock, so I applied pressure on the back of his head until I felt my cock head bottom out in the back of his throat.This went on for a few minutes, but I remembered something he told me during his last visit. He wanted to expand his repertoire again. Originally many years ago he had a girlfriend who would peg him. They broke up and he couldn't find another girl to peg him. That's when we met. And at the beginning all I was allowed to do wish of toys up his ass.Years later, many patient years later, he said he wanted to try sucking cock. Months after that he wanted to taste my load. It has been fun watching him change over the years. And now he wants FUCKED by my cock. This is what he told me at the end of our last session quite a few months ago. Today was the day.We went downstairs and he climbed into the sling. I secured his ankles high into the air as he scooted down in the sling to give me plenty of access to his hole. He doesn't like the roughness of my fingers, so I slipped a pair of rubber gloves on, applied some lube and started playing on the outside of his ass. Normally I just dive in with one or two fingers, but today I wanted HIM to WANT IT extra bad. I wanted him to yearn for it.I teased the outside of his hole and I could feel him lunging in the sling by grabbing the chains and trying to push himself onto my finger. But I was just teasing him at this point. I reached up and stroked his cock a few times, and then went back to teasing his hole.Eventually I gave him what he was yearning for at the moment, I slid my finger deep into his ass with one swift movement. My finger landed on his hard prostate. Some days his prostate is kind of soft until I get him sexually excited at which point it gets hard as a rock. Today, it was hard as a rock the moment I touched it. I applied a little pressure and noticed pre-cum ooze out of the end of his cock.With one finger still up his ass massaging his prostate, using the other hand I smeared his pre-cum over his cock head and started stroking it. He threw his head back and looked in the mirror above us on the ceiling of the basement. I was watching his face and his eyes as he intently focused on every movement I made.As expected his ass was tight. Wonderfully tight. But eventually I worked a second finger into his hole. I don't know where he learned to clean his ass out, but he does a better job than anyone I know. He's definitely a pro at cleaning himself out, and that means I can use larger and longer toys.But for now I was just working him over with one and then two fingers. Occasionally sliding a third finger in. I watched as he gazed into the mirror above us and I gave him a bit of a show. I pulled my fingers out and put my index finger as deep as I could. Then I would pull it out and replace it with only my middle finger twisting my hand around as I played with his prostate. Then I pulled my middle finger out and replaced it with my ring finger and little finger at the same time, I spun my hand around again.I pulled my fingers out and replaced them with my index and middle finger, the easy way. Vertically, aligned with his ass crack. But then with a twist of 90°, he was getting my fingers the hard way. But he was doing just fine. He was enjoying it as much as I was.His cock was hard and I continued to play with it. And then I did something I usually don't do. And you would think I was doing it for his benefit, and I want him to think I was doing it for his benefit, but this was just a little treat for myself. I took the head of his cock in my mouth and started twirling my tongue around his piss slit. I glanced up and saw him throw his head back, I think his eyes might have rolled backwards a bit toward his skull.I continued sucking on his cock until I had his entire cock in my mouth. I bobbed up and down a few times and he started to moan incredibly. I know from the past experience that once he orgasms were done for the day, as with most guys. And there was no way I was going to risk that. So I popped my mouth off his cock and continued working on his ass putting a third finger in.He loves CBT so with my fingers still firmly planted inside him, I grabbed a wooden spoon. I started smacking his balls lightly at first but rhythmically
    Janitor of lunacyIdentify my destinyRevive the living dreamForgive their begging scream I was told last night by a coworker that I remind them of Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind... That was the best compliment ever... Clementine was so misunderstood.
    March 4, 2024   Las Vegas Strip - Restaurant Reviews by Hotel and simple bullet points! By Mistress Rikka (current Vegas Resident)   Stratosphere Hotel   On Top of The World   Well - I have had the pleasure of dining here for numerous occasions- birthdays, relatives in town, etc. What I like: THE VIEW THE VIEW & THE VIEW.  The place does a full 360-degree rotation so you can experience the full breadth of Las Vegas-from mt Charleston to Mt Frenchman and all the sleazy and glamourous neighborhoods in between. You must pay $25 per person to get a seat just along the window, however. I think the views are still decent when not along the window, however. The food is quite good, and the chef does actually feed you reasonable portions, but the menu is limited.  The last visit in mid--2023 it was good for steak, chicken (1 dish) and 1 offering of fish (I think it was seabass). The service all 4 times I went was outstanding – friendly and not ‘stuffy.’ What I do not like: ·  Touristy.  Remember it is in The Strat so yeah - walking to and even up those escalators can make you cringe. ·  It is often swamped with people once you make your way to where you are to check in with the restaurant.  The receptionist will tell to go up one floor and wait where they send you a text- and that can get annoying.   Overall - a worthwhile place to go to and kids can enjoy it, too.       Bellagio Hotel

    Was just going to leave My profile pic up for a day, but they shut down My profile for weeks to reapprove it, so left the pic up.  just had another milestone in My life, turned 65 the end of August.  A official Dirty Old Man ( DOM) now. Lol. Would love to find a younger slave girl to come move here with Me.  Not many choices here where I live, though I love the wide open spaces here in Wyo.  Do like asian girls, wish I could find a sub here soon.    
    I'm not sure you're meant to feel some sympathy for Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but I just watched the film and to be honest, I felt a fair amount of empathy for her. I know she's meant to be a Machiavellian manipulator (though I felt you mostly saw that in her treatment of Billy), but I found McMurphy to be a bit of a selfish twat who was mostly doing only what he wanted and only had a positive impact by accident.  I found it interesting because it felt as if there was a man v woman framing to the whole film (for example when Billy has just lost his virginity he loses his stammer, and it only returns when Nurse Ratched mentions his mother - which seemed like a not so subtle plea to the idea that men are constrained by women which I don't agree with). 
    Next events im hosting :     May 10 = Fisting Fiesta  July 12 = Pegging Pizza Party     Message me the word events to get the details on how to attend these events.
    7/10/2023 It's been a long time since I updated my profile or made a journal entry so thought I would catch up a bit. I found my mate or rather she found me one evening when we were both online and onsite here. She made a snarky comment about my then profile picture which had one of my pack llamas in it. We started yacking back and forth and 3 days later met on a local walking trail with our dogs and have been together ever since. We live together in a monogamus M/s 1950s lifestyle. She takes care of me full time and I provide the income, roof over our heads and security. I retired 3 years ago so no more alarm clocks and 12 hour commute/work days! We go camping with our tent trailer either across the mountains or to the ocean several times a year. We have been going on long road trip vacations to National Parks every year or two. Last Year was a 4 week trip to 6 National Monuments and 5 National Parks in Oregon, Idaho and Utah. Lots of Lava, caves, arches, spires, hoodoos and canyons! We've been together coming up on 9 years now since we met on that walking trail. We will be together for the rest of our lives! Not bad HUH!!!
    I have not been on in a long time nor have I served anyone in a long time . I still crave the need to serve though it seems most woman want more than a servant and until I retire I can not be the 24/7 secant most are seeking . But if your seeking the once a week - once a month or anything in between servant please feel free to contact me . I travel a lot , indiana, ohio, Illinois, Missouri, Nevada, Arizona, Florida, Kentucky, Tennesee, Kansas , Texas  are states I frequent , I can host . So if you need someone that is respectful and does as told when told don't be shy . 
    ***Rant Incoming*** This is just common courtesy. If you send me a message, I will respond to you but in a timely manner (unless this site goes down) and I can't respond. If you read my email and don't respond because you didn't like my answer, then that is your problem, not mind. Please at least have the courtesy of emailing me back saying that "You are not what I am looking for, the best of luch to you." and I will respond back "I totally understand, best of luch to you as well." Just don't fucking ghost me! That will get your email deleted and you fucking blocked for life!   ***Done Ranting***
    This is my fantasy. I’m not sure I’d want it to come true. I’d love to see your response. I serve my Daddy and his equally dominant girlfriend as a live-in domestic maid. I also am required to take care of their sexual needs as well. Both are quite strict and require that all of my duties be performed with utmost attention to detail and to be done promptly and cheerfully.Any deviation results in punishment. Spankings with hairbrushes, wooden paddles and the awesomely effective bathbrush are the most utilized corrections and dark red bullseyes on my bottom can often be seen thru my sheer panties or thongs for days afterwards.This is a description of the punishment that is reserved for the most grievous errors on my part.Once the sentence has been pronounced I am ordered to report to the “punishment theater”, a room equipped with various devices that prop up and restrain the supplicant for punishment. There are two dozen theater style padded seats placed in a semicircle around a central stage for guests to witness. I am to bend over a heavy straight back chair placed in the middle of the stage with my hands gripping the seat and feet spread four feet apart. There I wait, sometimes for nearly an hour for the proceedings to begin. For the most grievous offenses my Daddy and Domme often invite friends to witness the event. I count three, four then five, six seven and eight witnesses trickle in and be seated. Soon my Daddy and Domme enter and announce my transgressions and the sentence of the Full Measure. I am the ordered to stand up while my Domme seats herself on the chair. I am then bent over her lap still with my sheer panties on. “Are you comfortable my dear?” She asks. “Yes Ma’am.” I reply. “Well enjoy it because you won’t be very soon!” There are snickers from the crowd as Daddy hands her a heavy red oak hairbrush. SMACK! SMACK! Two very hard swats to each cheek start my spanking. “Are you ready?” “No Ma’am, I mean yes Ma’am!” I reply and then she begins a very hard and furious series of swats two or three per second strike my cheeks. Sometimes she alternates left to right. Sometimes she concentrates on one cheek or the other. It goes on and on and on. I am kicking, screaming, crying. Finally after perhaps a hundred swats. I am ordered off her lap and to stand bent over in front of the chair. I am told to rub my “clitty” through my panties while my Daddy and Domme converse with their guests. Furiously rubbing my pantie crotch momentarily eases the fire in my bottom and my clitty responds with a minor erection and an oozing of pre cum. “Ok playtime is over boi! Lower your panties and bend over my lap,” announces Daddy. I instantly do as I am told. “Let’s see if my bathbrush can alter your behavior!” I begin whimpering at his words as my bare bottom is well acquainted with the power of the bathbrush. He locks my legs with his right leg in the well known position for delivering a real bare bottom blistering. “Hold on to the chair legs tight boi! Your’re going for one helluva ride!” And then it begins. Swat after swat of that evil wooden bathbrush. And while the swats are not delivered full force the effectiveness of that instrument makes an incredibly painful impression on my bare bottom. He concentrates the blows on the summit of my cheeks that have already been made sensitive by the prior hairbrush treatment and then he begins an assault a bit lower on the underside of my bottom nearly to the junction with my thighs. I try to keep count (sometimes after a spanking I am asked how my swats I received) but I lost count after five dozen or so. Finally the bathbrush assault ends with a round of applause and cheers from the assembled audience. I am once more ordered to bend over with hands gring the seat of the solid spanking chair. My bare bottom is so clearly and embarrassingly on display as I weep. After five minutes or so my Domme orders, “Pull your panties up and begin rubbing your clitty again. You have twenty minutes to cum in your panties while we discuss your further punishment. You may use the vibrator if you wish but your panties better be sticky when the time is up!” Even though I know the vibrator isn’t necessary for me to cum as I have lots of experience in tweaking my clitty I take her warning about filling my panties seriously and set about using the vibe. Sure enough in just three minutes I begin to spasm and a load of cum wets my panties. “Good boi! Look he’s cumming! That’s quite a load!” Are some of the comments I hear from the guests. “Time is up boi!” announces my Domme. “You’ve had enough fun with the vibrator. Now carefully remove your sticky panties and hand them to me.” I do as I’m told and she inspaspects the results that the vibrator has had. “Hmmm that’s a good load. One of your better efforts. Now be a good boi and open your mouth.” Again I comply and she carefully eases the cum soaked crotch of my panties into my mouth making sure the goo coats my tongue. “Now we have discussed the third part of your spanking and have decided it will be three dozen full force swats with “The Persuader”. (Those of you who have read my other story may know of it). The Persuader is an eighteen inch long by three inch wide three eighths inch thick maple wooden Spencer paddle with holes that insure little round blisters will be left as souvenirs on the recipient’s bottom. I begin whimpering even though my gooey panties try to stifle my cries. This time I’m led to a spanking bench where I am restrained bent well over with my arms, waist knees and ankles firmly fastened. In short order The Persuader is put to work. These swats are hard. Very hard, but they are measured and delivered at thirty to sixty second intervals so that I can feel the burn of every stroke. And it does! Deeply, excruciatingly so, eliciting screams from my pantie gagged mouth. This last part of the punishment lasts nearly an hour and at the end the assembled guest are most appreciative. Before leaving thy are invited to the stage to inspect and fondle the marks and blisters on my bare bottom. From their comments I know that the “souvenirs “ will be lasting for at least a couple of weeks. They will be a reminder to be on my very best behavior.
    Master James pased away at an age that was far to young. Mistress Tabitha and I were devistated. Massive stroke.More now than ever I'm trying to be the perfect slave to help Mistress Tabitha and I get through these times. The house seems to empty without that deep strong laugh or the sound of him calling out to me "Wench! Where is my coffee?" and then he would laugh.We will survive but there is a feeling of loss and yet my heart is so full of love for him. He will be missed
    52 master Alpha Male straight master willing to training a cis girl sub slave in London uk for 50s life style LTR ... I am a master/DD would say that I am not a loser, or dying for pussy (maybe for a real sub and her Back door=butt=asshole), not crazy or dangerous etc, but a person, pleasant, appearance, polite (more or less)and I like to dominate, I am willing to training one cis girl willing to be mine anal slut, must not be committed(with other cocks=which mean if you think you are naughty you are probably ...), who wants to discover and cultivate with me(no others) the pleasure her submission and live as a proper 1950s girl.all with honesty and pleasure for both, keeping in mind that is not a game)she must into a beautiful and intense time ..of course after care and use of the safeword is paramount in a long term relationship (even short but again 'no take away') ,if interested could write me PM ,NO 4 SEX CHAT OR if u want MONEY find a pig NOT ME!.I am only interested in sub/slave want to be own by me only for monogamous LTR ( or is full of wanna be dom and domme if you are looking for sex go to them as probably you rubbish like them so shite go with shite ). U must be in London uk 🇬🇧 , no cyber no fake ! -do please answer at this questions to show real interest or if not you just another fake . -your General Location -Ease of Relocation (to include any obligations you currently have in your current situation that may complicate relocation) -Disclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related -Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons why -Link to face pictures Thorough Statement demonstrating you read my ad and have genuine interest and reasons whyDisclosure statement on any medical conditions, physical or mental health related Contract For Male Dom Master & cis female slave "Slavery" ContractOf my own free will and out of a desire to express my love and devotion to the cis man I love and adore, I offer myself in slavery to my Master only for the period beginning on __________ and ending at noon on_____________. or life. Although I consider myself to be a slave full-time to Master, during the time period expressed above, I will devote myself completely and totally to the pleasure and desires of my Master, without hesitation or consideration of myself or others. General Rules The slave agrees to obey her Master in all respects. her mind, body, heart and time belong to Him. The slave accepts the responsibility of using her safeword when necessary, and trusts implicitly in her Master to respect the use of that safeword. If a condition arises in which the slave needs to use the safeword or gesture, her Master will assess the situation, and determine an appropriate course of action. The slave shall keep her body available for the use of her Master at all times. In addition, the slave agrees that her Master possesses the right to use her body and no one will be allowed to touch or use the master property (= slave)The slave shall demonstrate her acceptance of her role of service and availability at all times while at home and at other times and places specified by her Master. The slave acknowledges that her Master may use her body or mind in any manner He wishes within the parameters of safety. He may hurt her without reason to please Himself. The slave enjoys the right to cry, scream or beg, but accepts the fact that these heartfelt expressions will not affect her treatment. Further, she accepts that if her Master tires of her noise, he may gag her or take other actions to silence her.(only the safeword will stop the master action) The slave will answer any questions put to her honestly and directly, and will volunteer any information her Master should know about her physical or emotional condition. While her Master expects His slave to speak honestly and forth rightly about anything that bothers her, she is not to interpret that as permission to whine or complain. she will phrase her concerns politely and respectfully, and then gracefully accept her Master's judgment in these matters without further complaint.(=unless the safe word is pronounced) The slave will always speak of her Master in terms of love and respect. She will address Him at all times as either "Master" or "Sir," ( see Public Rules of Conduct) The Master may give the slave "free periods" in His presence during which the slave may express herself openly and freely. There will be no punishments applied during "free periods." It is understood, however, that the slave will continue to address her Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.
      Some might ridicule me for what I am about to post, thinking that I shouldn't say it here, but I really don't care. If you don't like it, go to someone else's profile. It was here (on CollarMe) that my Daddy (and later Husband) met and so it is here I will write this and declare it... My heart has been shattered into so many tiny pieces it feels like they'll never be put back together but I know that somehow and some way they will be. I know that some friends on here have been told, but not everyone was made aware and so I feel it necessary to inform everyone that my beloved Daddy and Husband, DeadlyDream, has left me. Not in the normal sense, meaning we didn't get divorced, or he didn't move out; what I mean is much, much more devastating on a personal level.  On December 30, 2021, at 4:30am he suffered a heart attack in bed. I tried, I truly did, through CPR and through the massive efforts of the local PD and EMTs to bring him back but after over an hour they declared him gone. I felt as though my world stopped when the EMT turned to the Police officer and shook his head while the others covered my beloved Daddy. It's been a few months, I know... But it's taken me this long to deal with everything, and to come to terms with what has happened. To convince myself that he’s NOT going to come strolling through the front door like this has been some sort of grand joke that he’s played on everyone.  I'll never again get spun in the living room as he spontaneously grabs me while music is playing and dances with me. Or grabs or slaps my ass in the middle of a store and declares that “this is my ass and no one else’s” as we’re shopping. I won’t be able to have play wrestling matches in bed that start other fun times in bed. Yes, we argued like any normal couple, but we had more good times than we had bad times, and those are the ones I’m going to cherish more than the bad ones. I’m not going to get to hear him sing to me or hear his perfect imitation of Eeyore telling dirty jokes to me. However, what I AM going to do? I’m going to be the strong woman he taught me to be. I’m going to remember him as the loving man he is, and I’m not going to let this drown me in fear or trepidation.  I ask that all his friends on here remember him the same way. As the strong, goofy, wonderful man that he was. He goes on, in the organs that he donated. I know that several of them were used to save lives. I received several letters of thanks, sharing stories of what good he did and how he continued to do good even though his spirit has left us.  
    I Just realized on Dec 26th 19 years ago today. I went to be my first munch and became a member of my local BDSM community. I remember being so nervous. I had never dated or anything before that day. I was happy when I read an erotic novel and found the term BDSM and went down the rabbit hole. All the years I would have dreams and desires not understanding and thinking I was alone. I was 30 years old and started researching on AOL, Yahoo chat, the great websites at the time. To find the munch group and got my scene name from my email address. So nervous to meet at the munch group, Only about 5 of us were there that night being right after Christmas. I was so happy and excited and felt like I finally found home and people that would accept me and welcome me.    The lifestyle was fun and learned a lot but also wasn't the greatest as I would jump into things and the 7.5 years I was active did expereince abuse that still scares me today. I have triggers but also realize this is who I am and can't just be vanilla. I have missed being active in the lifestyle and miss my BDSM family. One day hope to find the right partners and get back to being active again.    I call this my BDSM birthday.  And glad I found it. Just more cautious now.
    Let’s stir it up: if pegging the untimate submissive or just kinky play Do you think it’s:• A way to explore masculinity in a new light?• A form of psychological and physical domination?• Just hot ass play and we’re all overthinking it?• Still too taboo for most men to admit they want? For those who get pegged…What really goes through your mind when she straps in and tells you to present yourself? For the the curious guys…What’s stopping you from trying it (or asking for it)? Let’s hear it — the messy truths, the bold takes, the confessions, the horror stories.Is pegging overrated? Underrated? Or secretly the gateway drug to the best sex you’ve never had
    Tonight Im sitting here typing remembering the past.This used to be my main life.It was not on fetlife but another bdsm site. Hours turned into years as I sat and waited for my first Master. . It was more than online but He kept me online . I was trained to wait. He was a Dragon.There have been other Dragons. They seem to find me or me find them. I rarely drink but I'm drinking and I'm in a mood but Im not drunk. I need to back up and say at least they name themselves Dragon. I have my own ideas of what Dragons really are. Im not being disrespectful. I just need to get things out before I explode. One is hardly ever here online. One does write and I want to write back and say more but I just cant. Im just going through so much stuff. I start therapy tomorrow. Yay * sarcastic tone* a vanilla therapist trying to help me with relationships etc when I know that they will have no fucking idea what bdsm really is.

    From my profile:    if you are going to write to me, for heavens sake make it more than a bland hello, especially if your profile tells me nothing about you. Who are you? Why are you writing to me? What of interest do you think we might share? Do you have questions you would like to ask me about the lifestyle? Communicate, folks... communicate!
    Are you the kind of slave who loves to serve in all ects of a household slave life? I am talking about more than just a sex toy. There will be cooking, cleaning, general maintenance of the home and hearth, and occasionally a dress-up dolly. We may be the household for you. Your daily tasks will change day by day. Some days will be more chore-related. Other days will be relaxed. We are looking for a female who will act appropriately in public and privately. We are an eccentric bunch. Don't expect the conversation to be normal. The vetting process will start with me and move to My other half. Once vetted, we can move to a contract that we can agree on.  
    Not sure how much of this I have already posted but should have my replacement car within the next month. I have been diagnosed with mixed neurogenic bladder disorder meaning some times i can not pass urine others can not stop and do not even realise i am doing it. I have an internal catheter but the connections are not great and have been coming apart in the night, therefore i am disconnecting the bag from the catheter tonight and seeing how effective nappies are for overnight Am now taking laxatives and suppositories due to bowel issues including haemorrhoids and constipation probably due to where i am sitting all day in the wheelchair.   So if a sissy baby who can not stand or walk, and is reliant on a catheter or nappies interest you please let me know.
    Been a while, lots going on! Some really exciting prospaspects coming up so ready to see where this path goes!   on the journey, I'm down under 220... I feel infinitely stronger than I was before and I think I'm going to just have to keep this up! lol I set a new personal record on snatches at 165 for 3 reps! I don't think I could lift that over my head even when I was younger and in good shape so yay!   on the search for the right boy... well let's just say flakes abound and I'm almost over it... oh well...     on an extremely personal level i had something I never expected to happen happen to me (advice appreciated)... I spent 16 years wondering who my birth father was, 3(ish) months trying to build a bridge between us, and 32 years trying to forget... a little over 2 months ago he reached out to me (first time ever) three weeks ago it was "hey really wanna meet with you, just say when and where and I'll be there..." so I told him Monday 1pm at my bar...  *crickets*  I haven't reached out or anything but I really wanna be petty and post how I feel while tagging him since he reached out to me via facebook... I'm turning 49 in just over a week, ive survived this long with out him... maybe I should give up and walk away? Any thoughts?
    Hey, guys. Just so you know, this ain't my first rodeo. I was experimenting with S&M activities long before I was legal, or had actual sex. And so I call BULLSHIT on your "D/s is mainly mental" blah, blah, blah. A solid D/s relationship is a 3 legged stool of mind, body, and spirit. Each leg is equally important, and MUST be equally developed in order for there to be balance and harmony in the power exchange relationship. This is not optional, and you don't get to change the D/s laws of the universe just because you live 3000 miles away, or are trapped in a boring marriage. Mind. BODY. Spirit. For a masochist, one of these things MUST take place in person. So regular face to face meets are NOT optional. Smacking myself online while you watch does NOT count. And if you live more than 100 miles away, I'm not driving, or flying, to your place every week. It is what it is.
    i tried to make a post about lilith earlier like i did on reddit but this site ho'd me and didn't post it after posting it was already posted. oh well. trust me if you go on reddit or otherwise it's there.   I think I've mentioned it before on here that I am above average with astrology, but I'm not an astrologer. I've never been trained on how to actually read the charts, how to make the charts. I've never taken any classes on it. What I've learned is simply through grit and connecting with other novices and pulling together information. and just amalgamating slash being alchemical And bare bonesing it, you know, like raw dogging it. But as I've shared on my previous points. my intuition is like Doja cats lyrics. Trust me, I got magical foresight. so I might not have all the understanding in three D of the words, the vernacular, the structure, the format, the step by step to do things. especially with people that are more versed in these esoteric and magic school and mystery school or any of these long standing principles and all the stuff in the mystic spiritual magic world, right?   It's like the vibe of not being a pedigree, but being a scrappy, rough misfit. LOL.   So I know more than the average person about astrology, but in the world of astrologers, I know nothing.       I've been riding extremely about this balance and holding the line when it comes to how the. Michael male divine energy engages with the feminine. Sophia Divine feminine original source energy. And because in this life I'm alternative, I'm kinky. I'm. BDSM y. I'm polyamory. in a world where I was meant to be in the sauce and I was meant to be. physically engaging with people in a romantic sexual. real life kind of realm. categorizing myself in my past experiences. But before I came to realize I'm supposed to be more of a teacher and I'm not supposed to really hold that. because when you start holding that, you lose the higher perspective. You lose like the higher realm of it. right? but before I figured that out and I was trying to get lost in the sauce, I've always. expressed relating to the opposite sex in a very Non mainstream way. So it's like, as I continue to write the way that my divine feminine resonates on Earth is with the other alternative girls. I'm connected to the divine feminine with the dark goddess energy, with the bad babe energy. with the girlies who are with the mafia vibe, who are with the gangsters who are with the dominance, who are with the. people running the emotional, physical, mental, sexual. edge.   Just like cyberpunk. 2077. I'm with the edge runners. Not all women are like that. Most women aren't like that. Not all men are like that. A lot of men aren't like that. And in the spiritual world, I have found most of them are very love and light and asexual to begin with. So it's like the way. I'm channeling this message is for a very unique small subset of people. But even in the confusion and stuff, I know what I'm seeing. I know what I'm I'm supposed to write about. I know I'm supposed to say I know the message that I'm spreading even. if I don't necessarily know who I'm supposed to spread it to. I know I got the goods. Deep down. and even if these goods never turn into anything but these notes like I know that there's something magic going on. Hashtag being a projector, hashtag being a instinctual spleen at projector hashtag having the juxtaposition cross of assimilation bringing in crazy ass concepts that are forward thinking. so ka. so desu ne. Unrelated side note. Because I am an anime snob I do not like the digital animation and the styling. Of the I watched this show because I am deeply into the fandom. I literally not being facetious, but probably two years straight watching over 15 people play the game as much as. much as they completed it and I have never seen anyone complete the game. I saw one person on You Tube from Australia that was a lady get very close to completing the game but then felt pressured to do phantom liberty without finding all the side missions and side things and stopped to go to Phantom Liberty to appease her. fandom. but yes, I went very deep into this whole lore of cyberpunk. and so I felt I needed to watch this show in order to honor the essence of it and the message that this amazing franchise had and I Like I do most modern anime was slightly disappointed. Didn't feel much from it. Got a little bit from it, but a lot of people love how that style of medium of art is nowadays. And I'm on purpose, not on the same. not on the same vibe. I went to a club that was anime based. And I came across a younger guy. that was still an adult, obviously. But he said, I'm stuck in the past and I said yes on purpose. and he was like the 90s and I was like actually to be specific. I'm stuck in the 1970s to 2005 talking about bigger concepts like Leji matsumoso Galaxy Express 999. space operas. Tenchi muyo slayers. ah megumi sama sailor moon, serial experiments lain, neon genisis evangelion, even lighter stuff like mermaid melody pichi pichi, metropolsis the ova. When I look at something, I'm looking to learn to expand my soul, grow, get the channeled message. I'm not here for shits and giggles and fun. 99% of the time when I'm consuming, it's like I'm doing this as an unpaid job, like as a message. So this stuff nowadays that I've been introduced to does not have a message. So I do not relate to it. I'm a bad girly with a mission. And I'm very serious about it. And because I'm human, I might go astray. I might slip. I might fall, but I'm always straight back to the motherfucking mission in the day.   I'm always going to be talking about relationships and sexuality and spirituality and all that, because I've literally my entire adult life, have been wired that way. And I was. probably starting to get trained to do that when I was a minor in. probably more appropriate manners. and spirit. But I just been feeling like this message of unity on your sovereign path and not getting lost in the entanglement and the ties....passion....of sexuality and fleetingness of of. obsession and fixation and getting off track because of the pool of what the opposite person might do. And St true to you and like holding into that and seeing how so many women, especially because when you're on the edge, you're dealing with More intense chemicals in your body. You're dealing with more power play. You're dealing with it on a higher level than the average person. It's like I I've just been like talking about getting in the sauce and how it it leads to at least on the woman's side cause I'm a woman, then being down bad and their lives literally ruined like either physically, mentally, emotionally. Unfortunately, sometimes sexually, like that's the the gamble playing on the edge that when you fall, you fall harder than someone that's just totting the line. But because the dark goddesses are out there seeking truth on deeper depth and dark corners, they're willing to take that risk. I'm assuming, you know, you guys, I guess I'll call you dark gods. I have an awareness, but again, I just don't have a penis. I don't have that energetic masculine quality. I'm more of a panther. You guys are more like lions. Like III see it, but I just really can't tap into it. I can only observe. So I'm guessing same thing for y'all, but I can't say it from the core of my soul because that's just not what I was meant to do this time around. And a parmy hates to say stuff that isn't 100 percent confirmed. LOL. To the best of my confirmation at least, or to the best of my sourcing.   All this to say, my astrology hasn't gone to the level of looking at the transits or the. conjunctions. I know what they are. I can read when I see it on a chart, but it's not something I know how to make my own. It's
    I don't seem to flinch at the sight of individuals demonstrating their pain threshold. I am now curious if the intensity of the pain passes a threshold where to them it is a climax of pleasure. I absolutely love imagery of the femme fatale mixed with sexual curiousity. The presented breasts, the extended heels, the red lipstick the curvy dresses the kneeled man.  Again still think dungoens are just shit furniture, IKEA is doing some amazing things lately so no need to be cheap. but you can't beat a little dress up in public to demonstrate your devotion to one another.
    The desire to be dominated It's perfectly normal for men and women immersed in BDSM to have specific desires and fantasies, such as the desire to be dominated. The lifestyle encompasses a wide range of activities and dynamics, and it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner(s) to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and consents to the activities taking place. In the realm of the BDSM lifestyle, communication and consent are paramount. Before engaging in any routine activities, it's crucial to have a conversation with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and limits. Establishing a safe word is also essential to ensure both parties can stop the activities if necessary. Remember that BDSM should always be safe, sane, and consensual. It's essential to prioritize the safety and well-being of all involved parties. If you're new to the lifestyle or have specific questions or concerns, it's a good idea to seek out resources and educational materials, or even consider attending workshops or discussions within the BDSM community. Ultimately, your interests and desires in the lifestyle are personal, and as long as they are consensual and safe, it's a valid aspect of your sexuality. It's essential to find like-minded persons who can share your interests and engage in these activities with respect and understanding. If you have any specific questions or need advice concerning our lifestyle topics or anything else related to your interests, feel free to ask. I'm here to provide information and guidance based on your preferences.
    I wonder if there any service submissive guys right now who just enjoy being useful to a a Dominant Woman without expecting a list of actions in return. I also wonder if there are any polite adult gentlemen submissives left.  In his heart is he sad and needs glee, Seeking to be helpful to a Dominant Woman such as me, Drive together for meals out and joy, Where he craves to be my long term boy.  
    == Results from bdsmtest.org == 100% Switch 94% Rope bunny 93% Degradee 92% Voyeur 92% Submissive 81% Degrader 79% Rigger 75% Non-monogamist 74% Experimentalist 70% Primal (Prey) 63% Dominant 60% Exhibitionist 58% Brat 56% Masochist 55% Sadist 42% Brat tamer 37% Primal (Hunter) 32% Vanilla 30% Slave 25% Pet 15% Owner 9% Daddy/Mommy 8% Master/Mistress 0% Boy/Girl 0% Ageplayer I'm a flexible partner who can bend to the situtation (so to speak) 
    You feel as if you're caught in the sticky web of a venomous and POWERFUL Black Widow spider. You want to escape... But you can't. And at the same time - You don't want to. You know those deadly, sharp fangs just may be the end of you... But your curiosity is at it's peak. Will She really eat me alive? You wonder... How powerful can She REALLY BE? Your heart beats rapidly at the thought of 'The Black Widow' - You can feel your heart in your throat. Beads of sweat drip down your pathetic little face! She's coming closer... And closer.... Too close for your comfort! And as she crawls to you with those poisonous sacs prepared to BITE - You realize.... Everything's OK. This is where you belong. The Black Widow didn't drag you here! YOU were the one eyeing the web! YOU were the one who felt it was 'safe' to enter, fully aware of the "could be's" and "probably so's". YOU were the one who entered on YOUR own free will! This wasn't a TRAP. You stumbled across Her web FOR A REASON. Her fangs are closer to you now as you again realize - Your "free will" is now Her's. The Black Widow is your new MASTER!It's time. Time for the BITE. You close your eyes as you find a mental place of relaxation. You're ready! You've eyed The Black Widow's nest for far too long... You've witnessed what She's done to those prior to you. Curiosity lured you in. Jealousy of the "others" may have also played a part. You've yearned to know what THEY felt while they were with HER. And now here's your oppurtunity... You're ready to DIE at Her fangs and be BORN AGAIN to serve Her. This is your new life - In Her web, catering to Her needs. This IS afterall, HER WORLD. And you were just a lost soul trying to find your way......You've found it now.. You've found yourself! You've found that your way is HER way! And all it took was a PAINLESS bite from The Powerful Black Widow.
      Wait! Can I actually consent to BDSM?
    Not sure what it is with Sundays but  jeez   lol A lot of you shoot yourself in the foot on the first email.  You know what they say about first impressions.   lol Just cause you send me a message does NOT make you under consideration. I have people contacting me for different reasons so I don't assume why people are contacting me, thus is one reason I put that in my profile on what to send me if you are wanting consideration. Also, just because you want consideration doesn't mean I'm interested If you can not approach me with a "hello" before you start rattling off what YOU want, then we are not a match On that note if you approach me rattling off what YOU want and how I might be "good enough" for you we are not a match If you can't follow the instructions within my profie, then we are not a match If you don't realize that "I" get to choose who I pick and it's not all about what you want, then we are not a match If you think the dominants on here and are all the same and only here to serve you like we are some prostitutes that take clients, then we are not a match If you don't agree with what I am looking for and the way I want to achieve it, that's fine, no hard feelings move on the the next profile.  But don't waste your time or mine trying to manipulate me into your perfect, whatever Have a good Sunday
    Today I learned: red crown in a yellow circle: female dominants ying/yang symbol: female and transgender switches a black whip with pink marks: female and transgender submissives triskele symbol: male switches, submissives and dominants nothing: couples   I am not sure of what these little symbols near usernames on profiles are for other than being cutesy, but at least I have amused myself briefly. 
    Haven't logged in in about ten months, so many messages in my inbox! Thank you all: be assured that I will be reading them all but I am taking a break for a while. Just one too many conversations ending the same and combining that with the fact that my health problems had worsen,k and the fact that I'm 100% bound to Canada forever... I'm in no mood to meet up at the moment. No mood for much sexy times at all really, sorry. If things change ou'll see me back here, but for now I shall be lurking only Have a good day!
    It is quite bewildering to me, how many doms take my journal entries personally. I get messages all the time saying I shouldn't say that, or believe this, or think that or reject the other, from complete strangers who I have no  previous correspondence with, and I don't fully understand that. There are hundreds of other women you could contact, who you may well be compatible with, why are you messaging me just to tell me you find my journal obj ectionable in some way? My beliefs and opinions are exactly that, and a complete stranger telling me I'm wrong is not going to change them in any way. Oh, and the men who so magnanimously tell me that will 'allow' me to continue my faith, yeah thanks for that. That would be the one thing I won't ask permission for. 
    The man knew what would happen next He’d imagined it in his mind enough times to create the thoughtform A thoughtform that his imagining breathed into life There was nothing she could do The thoughtform once released would invade her mind Gentle but persistent Increasing in intensity until it fully became her thoughts and her feelings Enchanted and enslaved by his will
    The Particular Ache of an Empty House I have been thinking about doors lately. The specific quality of a door that opens onto something waiting for you, the difference between entering a space that is simply empty and entering one that has been prepared, held in a certain state of readiness by someone whose entire orientation for the hours you were gone has been toward your return. I know that difference in my body. I have lived on both sides of it, and I will not pretend they feel anything alike.   Right now I come home to silence. It is my silence, my space, maintained to my standards because I maintain it myself, and there is nothing wrong with it except that it is inert. A room that has not been thinking about me. A kitchen that holds no evidence of anticipation. A threshold that does not know the difference between my arrival and any other event in the day. I cross it and the space simply continues being what it was, indifferent, unchanged, requiring nothing of either of us.   I miss the other kind of threshold with a specificity that surprises me sometimes.   I miss the quality of a home that has been tended. Not cleaned in the transactional sense, though that too, but tended in the way that a person tends something they care about, with attention to what it is for and who it belongs to. The particular arrangement of a room that tells you someone has been thinking about your comfort in your absence. The light already correct. The temperature already what you prefer. The small and specific details of your own preferences reflected back at you by a space that has been held, carefully, in your image while you were elsewhere inhabiting the world.   I miss being known before I speak.   There is a warmth to genuine devotion that I do not think translates to anyone who has not felt it, because it reads from the outside as service and from the inside as something closer to being loved in the most precise and practical language available. Not the warmth of sentiment, though there is that too, but the warmth of competence directed entirely at your ease. Of someone who has studied you carefully enough that your needs arrive met before you have finished forming them into requests. That warmth is not loud. It does not announce itself. It simply exists as the temperature of the space around you, slightly and unmistakably above what the world outside provides.   I think about coming home after a hard day, the specific hard days that my body produces without my permission, the ones where the pain has been a sustained and wearing presence since morning and the outside world has asked more of me than I had available and I have given it anyway because that is what I do. I think about what it would mean to cross a threshold into a space that already knew. Where the bath had been drawn, not because I asked but because someone understood the day I was having and had moved to meet me in it. Where the room was quiet and the lighting considered and the particular tea I need when I am worn down was already steeping to the correct minute.   Where someone was waiting, not with needs of their own to present or words requiring response, but simply with presence. The warm and steady presence of a person whose purpose, in that moment, is entirely my restoration.   I built that once. I know how to build it. I know what it requires, and what it produces. I know the specific quality of peace that settles into a body that has been genuinely, competently received by someone who considers receiving you their greatest privilege.   Kahlil Gibran wrote that work is love made visible. The devotion I am describing is exactly that: love made visible not in declarations but in the ten thousand small and correct things that together produce a life that feels held. The right cup. The considered room. The hands that know where it hurts without being told. The presence that asks nothing and gives everything and finds in the giving its own complete satisfaction.   I am building toward it again. This quiet house is a temporary condition, a chapter rather than a conclusion, and I know this with the certainty of a woman who understands the difference between where she is and where she is going.   But tonight I notice the silence, and I name what it is missing, and I let myself want it fully and without apology.   The warmth of a home that has been thinking about me is always on my mind.
    Journals are here again..Over the years I've seen quite a few profiles saying "I have a crazy work schedule" (or "hectic", or "super busy" etc) which brings up the question: Out of 100 people making such statements, how many get out of that situation? Short term it may be justified or even needed; long term, it's not the best situation for one's physical or mental or psychological health let alone allowing the space for new relationships to be deep and meaningful.  If out of 100 only 1 or 2 succeeded in changing that life circumstance but 90 or 50 at least tried, that would be more encouraging than few even trying..really trying..and seems that people are so busy trying to survive, or with distractions to numb pain, that we rarely even try, let alone succeed. The key is to make the effort and mental committment. And chip away at it. So even if it takes 6 months or 2 years or 5 years,..you chip away at it, work towards the goal, step by step.  It could be saving money, it could be improving one's skills, getting a certificate. It could be spending just 15 minutes online searching, times 2 days a week or on weekends...The key is to be consistent. Imagine one person jogs 100 feet forward, then stops. The other person moves forward just 3 inches...but does that each day, or even each week, every week, for enough weeks and months..they will reach the finish line.  Same with other goals (like losing weight, though that one requires both the consistency and also a lot of challenging but worthwhile work on one's mental and emotional inner worlds and finding what neeeds we use food to substitute for and healing ourselves in other ways...on top of the stick-to-it consistent commitment ect of doing a little bit to move forward every week and ideally every day or few days) Same with finances, though that's a more obvious analogy to changes in one's job/career.  What have you done to move forward "a few inches" today, this weekend, or next week? It's not about being 'tough' with ourselves, more like the opposite, and being caring towards ourselves..that and a word I see is actually in an online dictionary: "Stick-to-itiveness" You can do it! :-)
    Are Christianity and BDSM Incompatible?Well I think the short answer would have to be I think not, or I wouldnt, as a Born Again Christian, be here. But it's a question I get asked a lot on here and other sites, from other Christians who aren't sure, from the curious, and the argumentative, so I thought I would address it permanently. I think the Bible is pretty clear that wives are to defer to their husbands - 'Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall have authority over you',  'wives, submit to your husbands' It is also clear that married couples may do as they wish, as long as its just between the two 'the marriage bed is undefiled', So the question really should be, can unmarried Christians be into BDSM? Well I think it would be difficult to go from an unmarried independent woman to a married sub, so I dont see a difficulty with a woman being submissive to the man she is considering marriage with. Personally I dont have sex with every man I am involved with, as I think sex is special, but I am naturally submissive, so I have certainly submitted to more men than Ive had sex with. It works for me. But ultimately if you really are unsure, and a Christian, you should listen to what you think God is saying to you If youre not at peace with your decision, then it may be the wrong decision for you
      I don't understand. If someone has taken the time to write you a message that in more than one word or line, and you actually read, just drop a reply if only to say no thank you. I know that men outnumber women on this site, but does that mean you have to impolite?
    I walk most days to reduce pain.  Often I workout as I walk.  Often My mind spins to entertain me as the hours pass.  This morning I had a realization about Myself.  Some assume I am sadistic.  I do not believe I am.  Rather, I think I am Dominant to the very core of my being.  I don't enjoy the pain that I inflict.  I enjoy the POWER of the fear on his face.  It thrills me to see a great big alpha male subject himself to Me with a glint of fear in his eyes and a wry smile upon My face.
    Survey Says?   What is your favorite thing to spank with and why? What is the most common thing you spank with and why? What is the most unique thing you have spanked with and where did it come from and how did you end up using it to spank with? What is the most common infraction you spank for? How frequently do you find your sub requires the correction?  (Spankings or otherwise.)   Send your answers and I will do another journal entry with the answers.
    If you expect me to ask questions, you will be sadly disappointed. I don't care. A boy meets my expectations, not the other way around. You want to be considered? It is your responsibility to figure out if you can fit my lifestyle. I will make a boy into what I want, what he likes and doesn't like is of no concern to me. I will ask questions eventually, but not lifestyle ones. As everyone should be aware of, FLR is about more than just the BDSM lifestyle. One more update. Due to circumstances being what they are in the US, and me looking to relocate over seas, I have zero interest in USA boys at this point. Unless you are willing to relocate as well. 
    I want you to be my teacher. I'll wear a schoolgirl uniform with a really short skirt, top and skimpy panties. My hair will be in pigtails to make me look really cute.   Ill come in asking for extra credit to pass school and in order to get it you tell me exactly what you want while you pull out your ruler.   I then hesitate and say I've never done this before so its time for you to teach me.    I put the tip in my mouth and hate the taste but you grab my head you deep throat me, unloading everything in my mouth.   I end up coughing it out but you grab my face and tell me to swallow and I fortunately do it.   You tell me to take it or I fail and I cant afford to fail. You then grab me and bend me over a desk with my beautiful rear in full view.   I try to pull down my skirt to cover my rear but you grab my hands and tie them behind me forcefully.   Im helpless as you lift my skirt and pull off my panties to unveil my virgin pussy.   You then mess with me and tease my pussy with your fingers and tongue before you tell me im ready with your throbbing ruler in full view   I beg you to stop but you spank me for talking back to the teacher. You then shove your ruler in me to to grade my pussy.   I have no choice but to take it while you keep fucking me from behind. You then rip off my top to mess with my nipples and maybe even give me the honor ot stroking me to drive me insane   Eventually after some time you unload in me as I experience your load for the first time as I scream in pleasure.    You then tell me to clean you up as I lick every last juice from you magnificent body and ruler, while I hear you give me my final grade.   I cant wait for our next lesson    
    Being a Dominant is not like the military where rank assumes obedience. The “rank” of Dominant or Master is not assumed by the Dominant but bestowed by a submissive. This is important because it cuts to the heart of why a Dominant has the authority to give “orders” in the first place. A Dom only has power because he has been granted that power by the submissive. And a submissive grants that power to someone he respects, trusts, desires, and believes has his best interests at heart. He grants it to someone with whom he feels completely safe and protected. So yes, I as a Dominant do in fact give orders. But my orders are not simply motivated by desire for blind obedience but are often targeted at a higher purpose. Sure, often they are for my personal pleasure. But they are also designed to instill knowledge, establish norms of behavior, set expectations for performance, and above all, challenge my sub to be the best person he can possibly be both in and outside our relationship. They are also designed to similarly challenge me. I always strive to be a better person, a better partner, a better Dominant, and have our mutual interests always at heart. Being a Dominant is less about assuming authority than being a leader. A leader earns the right to lead. My sub gives me all the power I have as a Dominant. What I do with that power is up to me. But if I use it unwisely or selfishly, it will evaporate and my sub will opt to vote with his feet. D/s is, after all, a consensual agreement between two free persons and thus can be terminated when one or the other is not satisfied. D/s and even M/s are not true slavery, even when we choose to call it that. Ultimately, the submissive decides who will be his leader or if he will take on a leader at all. It is that decision that empowers the Dominant, and that decision is earned, not taken.
    The Pitch It was late afternoon when Heather asked me to go with her to Jim's office.  A few dozen people were still enjoying the pool and patio while listening to music.  I followed her into the house and was led to Jim's office.  It was  masculine looking with leather chairs and a sofa and a mahogany desk.  I looked around and there were framed movie posters on the wall.  They were gaudy with titles such as Bound Bitch and Mantool.  I could read Jim's name on them as directed by.  Jim came in, smiled at us and sat down and lit a cigar. Jim, puffing smoke:  I'm so glad you came today.  As you can see we're like a family.  We have a lot of fun.  I don't want you to feel any pressure to do anything so let me explain what this is all about.  I make movies as you can see. I've done pretty well.  Heather has starred in a lot of them.  We both love bondage and want to do a movie with bondage and torture.  Not real torture of course.  My sweet baby (looking at Heather) has written a script which I think is dynamite.  It's the kind of movie that I think people will want to stay until the end to see what happens.  When we saw your scene at the party the other day I said to her that you'd be perfect for it.   Me:  I'm not a porn actress. Jim, grinning:  No no we already got that.  We think you'd be a good bondage model.  We would respect your limits of course and there'll be a female coordinator there the whole time.   Heather:  I'm narrating it.  I'll be your torturer.  You don't have to memorize any lines or anything.  We just want to film your reactions to the torments.  When we watched you being whipped while being suspended that night we just fell in love with your reactions and emotions.   Me, looking at both of them:  Can I see the script? Heather:  Of course!  Better yet, would you like to see the torture chamber? Jim: Go show her the set.  Look, no pressure.  We understand if you don't want to do this.  It'll be fun. Think about and let me know.   Jim got up and shook my hand and smiled.  Heather and I left the room and I was led through the cavernous home to a large door with an unlit "Quiet On Set" sign.  She opened the door and I looked around.   It was a movie set.  The set was a medieval torture chamber with stone (fake) walls.  I saw a rotating wheel of pain, a rack, a suspension frame and a crucifix.  Everything looked so real.  It blew me away. Heather: So what do you think? Me: I'm in.   Next up Action!  
    Y'all Im gonna need more than just a Hi for an email or Loved your pics. Show some personality what was the last book, movie, show you really enjoyed. What scene are you in. I am not gonna just carry the whole conversation for you. You want to get to know me start with engaging my mind for the love of all things. I am especially not likely to want to continue a vapid conversation with someone who is hundreds of miles from me so the likelyhood of meeting is very low. I am not going to be spank bank material and just that.  
    Life doesn’t give you breaks. The echoing silence of the house after work is a painful reminder of the voids that have been created in the past few years. James's memories are still fresh, like an unfinished story that replays in my mind every time I find a moment of quiet. The vibrant life he introduced me to, our moments of intimacy in the world of BDSM, and the painful void of his loss due to COVID. But this year, just when I thought I was gathering myself up, learning to stand again, another wave hit. Dad's gone. It's been four agonizing weeks since his heart failed him, and my world crumbled, yet again. Coming home, I see mom trying to cope, trying to smile for me, but her eyes betray the pain. As much as she leans on me, I lean on her. Between the bustle of the law firm, my weekend beauty appointments, and the humdrum of daily chores, it's these stolen quiet moments with mom that have become my solace. We share memories, of dad's quirks, of his love for spicy food, of the times he'd dance with me on old Bollywood numbers. this city feels so different without James and now, without dad's laughter ringing through the corridors of our house. The weekends are a . Between the shopping, the laundry, and the cooking, there's this constant underlying grief that seems to tag along. Sometimes, during my beautician shifts, I wonder what's next for me? Would I find love again? Or perhaps another purpose? My heart feels so brittle, afraid to hope, afraid to dream. Yet, with every sun that sets, there's a hope for a new dawn, a new beginning. I believe James and dad would want me to find happiness, to thrive, to make them proud. And so, I promise myself to take each day as it comes, to find little moments of joy and to cherish the love that I've been so lucky to experience.
    There is a catch in her throat, a dampness between her legs; her skin prickles. Is it the early tease of spring, its warmth just beneath the surface of a brisk wind, or the return of his words, rich and raw, that shake her back to life, and desire? 
    Updates again, no longer outside of Bishop Auckland now nearer to Hartlepool and Peterlee. No longer a couples profile, wife passed away so it's just me. Anyone who remembers meeting us from Reading, Durham etc please feel free to say hi. Looking for play things, ideally the 1950's household where the wife/lady of the house stays home and takes care of the housegold chores. Man is king of his domain. Also now looking for tv/cd/subs again, been time away for life but now actively looking.
    Questions: Rough sex or soft? I prefer to mix it up depends on the partner. Weirdest place you have had sex? Under the pier at Carolina Beach during the day. Favorite sex position? Between a partners legs giving oral. Or from behind if they are strapped down. Have you had any one night stands? Never I'm demisexual so what gets me going is a personal attachment. The thought of a stranger fills me with dread! Have you had sex in a public place? Quite often. Restrooms, by a river bank, in a forest. Have you been caught masturbating? I rarely touch myself. I have gone 12 years without after my wife passed. How often do you have sex? If in a relationship I want it every few hours. If I'm not in one I don't at all. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral? Giving, I'm a person pleaser. Most embarrassing thing that has happened to you during sex? Adjusted position and gave accidental anal. Yeah not good!
  • Hooked up with a guy a few years younger than me tonight.    And in case you haven't seen my profile I am a BIG BHM.   I mean I am fat, and he was worried that his six inches wasn't going to be enough, but I assured him it would, and that I know what to do, what I need to spread to make a smaller cock work so he said we would give it a try.     And not only was he enough, he was still thick enough that he damn near took my breath away as he slid inside me.    He also came closer to making me cum than any top ever has.   I mean i felt like i was on the edge about to leak a little bit but not quite.   But at least on the plus side, I may have found a regular top since he is so close.
  • My wound is very close to being healed finally.  It is ..2 cm less than 1/8 of an inch open. Bought a new hoyer pad so I can be out of bed more Have another one coming today to it's always good to have more than 1
    time to make something clear Yes. I am seeking what my profile states Also that person needs to be someone  I can  enjoy in vanilla life with Ĺike dancing karaoke dinning out movies nothing are a few  Yet knowing the undying factor that she is still my total slave