9/30/2014 1:05:29 PM: I find this quote to be true to life.  And it seems to be more true today for me.'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.' Mark TwainI posted this on , but wanted to post here too.  Be who you are supposed to be Some of you know I lost a very important person in my life on September 16th. What most of you do not know is why he was so important to me.There are times in your life that you meet someone that you do not realize that they are going to change you forever. That is what happened to me with TJ, I met him thru my sister in 1989 when I was 21 years old. He was an amazing person and an amazing friend. We did not get together till 2001 but he was always someone I could go to and talk to if I needed a shoulder to cry on or just to shoot the breeze. I actually never planned on being with him honestly. At the time I was driving semi's for a living and I was just being my slutty self and I gave him a special birthday present for his 54th birthday. I slept with him. I know that is tacky especially since he was living with my sister by then. But he was poly through and through. They had a 'unicorn' living with them at the time.I thought nothing of it. But the next time I went back to visit them he asked me to go on my truck with me. He wanted to spend time getting to see where we ended up. So I filled out the paperwork and faxed it in. I was granted permission to have him on my truck for 2 weeks. So in January on my next visit he packed a bag and got on my truck. We actually spent 3 weeks alone driving across the country. I even had a LA run while he was on the truck so since he lived in the Jacksonville Fl area we can say we literately went coast to coast. When I finally took him home we had decided we were good together so we decided that we would be. I actually decided to turn on my Semi and go for a different job. And he supported me in that. So I moved in full time with him. That was very interesting considering I became the 4th poly house, but somehow became the primary. Fast forward to 2008. So we had been together for quite a while thru a few poly partners but always us. During that time he made me explore other parts of my life, Like my Bisexuality. And anal sex. He was also the first person to ever make me squirt. In all that time we had 2 disagreements. We never fought. He noticed that I was wrapped up in taking care of him. I had somehow gotten so involved with making him my own world that I forgot to take care of me. He loved me for that but he also knew that I needed to find me again. He wanted me to grow and be the best person I could be. He and I together made a decision. We talked long and hard about it. But we decided it was time for me to go out on my own and so in October I moved out and 90 miles away to Lake City Fl. We still talked and I visited periodically, but I we knew I was better away from him. I was finding me again. And that was a good thing. He was proud of me. He knew that I was being the person I should be. So in 2013, I finally had my self to the point that I knew who I was and what I wanted to do. So I started looking. I figured that since my masochist side was so strong I would look for a Dom. So thru trial and error I finally found Collarme, I set up a submissive profile and then started talking to people. Boy was I bombarded. It was cool. So now to the present. I am in an open poly home. I am the unicorn. I am free to play as long as I am open, honest, and safe about it. On my birthday September 13th we went to Fetish Circuit I got my birthday spankings and came home happy. On Tuesday the 16th at the time I did not know that TJ had passed away that morning. I went to the gym with my poly sister and a friend. We were sitting in the Jacuzzi chatting back and forth and I got on the subject of Luna Moths. My friends had never heard of them so I described them to her. I consider them a night time butterfly. And if you look at my pics you can see I have a butterfly tattoo on my shoulder. They all also have eyes on their wings they are beautiful. And they can grow to be the size of dinner plates. Well Wed. the 17th I got a phone call stating TJ passed away the previous day. I was devastated. I could not be consoled. I was a zombie. Nothing was making me feel better. till I got a message on facebook. It was a picture my friend took that morning. There in her message was this picturehttps://.com/users/2408619/pictures/32073284…A Luna moth came to visit here that morning. In daylight and landed on her hand. That amazing creature was sent by TJ to her for her to tell me about so I know he is watching over me and is ok with my life. I know what ever I do is fine with him. He accepts me as who I am and wants me to move on with my life. Wants me to continue on my journey of discovery and to be who I was always meant to be.

9/17/2014 7:40:38 PM: Some days you wonder why you even get out of bed,  I am feeling like that right now.  I got a phone call a little after 9 pm tonight informing me that a very important person in my life passed away.  I loved him still no matter that we had not been together for the last 6 years.  It is amazing to think back on things and see all the firsts I had with him.  My first squirting experience, my first bi experience, even my first poly experience.  He may not have been into BDSM, but he got me into things that allow me to be the person I am today.  I will treasure the experiences he helped me find and even though he is no longer here on earth, I know he is watching over me and proud to know that he helped me become the person I am today.  I will miss him everyday.

9/6/2014 9:00:42 PM: So tonight I must be in a very weird mood tonight.  While popping thru the profiles that come up when you hit home, I swear I must be in an alternate universe.  I tend to read the profile then look at their name and stats.  I am a Bi Switch so to me I can go for all types.  But how can you say submissive when you are giving demands??

8/31/2014 6:09:25 PM: I found this and since I am a Virgo it fit well.  Virgo (August 23-September 22) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always want the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you’ll quickly loose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They don’t forgive and never forget. The one and only. The one that waits.But the funny thing is that it really doesn't not go into my sub side......

8/6/2014 12:51:05 AM: It has been a while since I have posted here.  I have undergone some changes in my life in the last few months and I am much happier.  That being said.  I hope that everyone takes the time to stop and be grateful for what we have in our lives and to also make strives to be the best we can be.