8/17/2022 2:13:44 AM: I've got some off time.  But next week it is back to 6 days a week.     I still wonder what it is with folks.  If you want to talk fine.  Im down with that.  I enjoy meeting new people and potentially making friends.  However... don't make promisses you have no intention of keeping.  Again, I can't say this enough, grow up and if the person you are talking to just isnt relationship material, tell them.  Do not just ghost them.  Its cruel.   Yes this is a 'fetish' site.  Yes, some get off on cruel acts committed to them. But prolonged mental cruelty will ruin a person.   I miss the good ole days.  When if you had a problem with someone, you just told them and if it could be worked out, you did so. If not you walked away and left it alone.  If you were not interested in someone, you just told them. Not ghost them and leaving them wondering what they did wrong.  You got to know a person, the real person before jumping into commitments.  And a whole lot more.   What is worse, I have seen this behavior more and more from Gen X and later.  What the hell?   Everyone has their fantasies.  Their dreams and desires.  Everyone has their own idea on what and how this lifestyle is and should be.  However, at the end of the day, we are human beings.  Lets start there and start acting like it.  

7/3/2022 1:22:52 PM: A small respite is coming, but it wont last long then it will be back to OT and I will watch my summer disappear.   Little heads up to anyone who may even remotely care.  Folks need to grow up.  If you are not into a person, then dont lead them on only to just poof one day with no explaination.   I will not be the one to text first normally.  Nor will I be up all night chatting.  My sleep schedule just does not permit it.  If you truly are interested, then make sure I know it.  Dont think if your coming for a visit, you will be staying with me.  Not happening like that.  We have a little hotel just up the road.  I wont be putting miles on my Jeep traveling a thousand miles unless I am headed home.   Often times I wonder why I even log in any more.  I have people who just dont get my job or schedule that comes with it right now.  They dont gr that I just am not a huggy cuddly person.  Even to the point of telling me 'but your a woman'.  What does that have to do with the price of biscuits?  I like my alone time just as much as I enjoy good company.  My traditional upbringing often wars with the lifestyle.  My geographical culture shock wars with where I really am from.   And people ask why I am so guarded.  What is the point of opening up and feeling anything for someone only for them to just disappear?  So if we talk for an extended period and I am just not emotional, sorry but not sorry.  I wont continue to live that shit.

5/7/2022 3:20:55 PM: I am tired.  I am wore slap out already.   Working 10- 12 hour days.. Six days a week and four hours the seventh.  It has gotten old very quickly while I wait for bosses to make decisions on who will be my next assistant without consideration from me.   The stress of work, the stress of house, has me completely blown out.  I collapse into exhausted sleep every evening now, while thoughts of work and how I will have the energy to get the most simple of things done at house that I need to get taken care of.   These are my days right now.   So forgive me if I get a little on edge when the word fun is thrown at me like a ball to my dog.  I dont have time for fun. I have a department to run.  I couldnt care less about fun.  I care about making it through the next day with hopefully a little less stress than the last.  I care about making it through my contract so I can get my rearend home where I will be happier.   Fun is good and all, but it is not the focus of my life.  It is not the focus of what I want in a relationship.   Sorry for the rant y'all.  I am just so tired of hearing... what are you doing fun tonight or well thats no fun.  Shaking my head.  I am beginning to detest that word with a passion.

3/17/2022 6:19:05 AM: It has been a while, and a lot has happened. I moved to NY.  Now stuck here due to a contract I signed with my job.  Oh how I miss home.  Soon to be alone again.  Not because of a relationship, but because of other reasons, ask me Ill share no problem.  I now often wonder what kind of spiral that is going to send me into. Such is life I guess.  Work, Karma, work, fur kids, work.... Such is life right now.  Is there a respite out there somewhere?

4/4/2018 1:56:09 AM: Aggression is not something I act/react well to. I have a life. I work hard and often go home with bruises, burns, and very sore muscles. This often means I am tired when I get home. I crash early because of my job. It also means, I won't be up all night chatting. I can't and be worth a damn at work. I am human. I have feelings, goals, and such. I will not squash those to fit another person. And, yeah, there is a definite reason my 'kinks' aren't listed. Know me for me, not what I get off on.