I have the following special talents. I know when to use "e.g." and when to use "i.e." I can turn child-proof caps into regular ones. I can win all of your clothes in strip poker.

When it comes to fashion I'm strictly a t-shirt and jeans guy, but as a sissy there are suddenly all sorts of interesting things to wear. I can only conclude that we need more sadists designing men's clothing. Heels might not be the most efficient shoes to wear when cleaning but lock me into a pair and all of a sudden you can make me do the chores that I usually leave to the Roomba.

I see the phrase "real man" written a lot. I hope I can qualify. I'm pretty sure I'm not imaginary. Anyway, there's that whole "I think therefore I am" thing working in my favor.