I recently saw a profile using the term 'punishment' in a fun way so I thought perhaps it was time to write my own thoughts on the matter. Punishment is used to curb a behavior that a Dominant sees as undesirable to their specific needs. The reason for punishment is simply to teach or on the bottoms perspective learn a lesson that something is not okay to do. It is to correct a problem with behavior and even blatant disregard to rules and tasks. More and more I see people using the term punishment in ways that state perhaps that they mean play. If you want to have fun and beat someones ass or have some epic cathartic scene that's great and I'm sure your partner would enjoy that but inevitably that is NOT punishment. If something that is supposed to be a punishment is enjoyed it wouldn't correct the problem. Instead it would instill the fact that in order to have fun all they have to do is be a brat and top from the bottom. I understand that different people enjoy this lifestyle in different ways but in retrospect punishment isn't supposed to be fun. It's supposed to correct bad behavior. I'm all for having wonderful scenes among other fun activities don't get me wrong. The bottom line is I don't understand why it seems certain aspects of this glorious lifestyle are being used interchangeably. Punishment isn't another word for playing or scenes. I understand that not everyone is into this lifestyle 24/7 I'm not naive. I just wonder how many people truly know all that this entails. If you want to be a sub or slave awesome kudos to you. The same is said if you want to be a Dom or a Top of any kind. Just please take the time to learn the terminology and how things work.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the slaves prayer and what it means to me every slave hopes to find the passion and the fire within to fully understand it and recently I've found it so here is the slaves prayer piece by piece and what it means to me. Below is the original then further down I broke it into pieces and wrote an in depth interpretation on it in my opinion. Allow girl the strength to answer questions she cannot fathom. Allow girl the spirit to know His needs. Allow girl the serenity to serve Him in peace. Allow girl the love to show Him herself. Allow girl the tenderness to comfort Him. Allow girl wisdom to be an asset to Him. Let girl be able to show Him each day her love of her service to Him. Let girl open herself up too completely belong to Him. Let girl accept her punishment with the grace of a woman. Let girl learn to please Him, beyond herself. Grant girl the power to give herself to Him completely. Give girl the strength to please us both. Premit girl to love herself, in loving Him. For it is her greatest wish, her highest power, to make His life complete as He makes hers. Allow girl the strength to answer questions she cannot fathom. To me this means something that sounds so basic but it in all actuality very deep and complex. There will be times that someone will ask a question of you. When it is asked however, you may not fully know the answer to it. It is then that you will have to be able to go deep within yourself with the question at hand and find an answer to it. You need to have the emotional depth and mental strength to look in places that you may not have known existed and find the answers. Everyone has things buried deep inside that they may or may not realize are there. Some of these places house things that the person knows about but are too afraid to admit. Many times I've seen it happen that a person is not happy until they stop pretending to be something they're not. At some point when one is fully owned by their Master, in order to be completely open and honest with your Master you will have to dive deep and be completely open with Him without reservations or fears, for one cannot surrender completely with fear in their heart or not being 110% completely open and honest. Allow girl the spirit to know His needs. A slaves number one priority should be the pleasure and happiness of her Master, you will find often that anticipation will go hand in hand with His happiness. This does not mean you have to be a mind reader it simply means to pay close attention to detail. What does He like to have or do right after work? How does He like His coffee prepared? What is His all-time favorite meal or activity after a long day at work? Details will become your best friend. Find the power within yourself to do this to the best of your abilities. His happiness matters most in everything. Allow girl the serenity to serve Him in peace. First and foremost as a slave you have to come to terms with whom and what you are this can be hard for some but don’t deny yourself.There will be times when you may not feel like obeying an order but being a slave comes with much responsibility. When you become someone’s property you made the choice to always obey that person. At times you will have to find your inner peace to serve reverently with joy always. The word no can’t be in your heart if you’re choosing to be owned property. There should not be negative feelings involved with serving someone; you should feel joy in every sense of service. That is where serenity and reverence comes in to play. If you do not feel completely free serving someone there is a chance they are not the Master for you. Allow girl the love to show Him herself. Many people have different masks they wear at different times. There are very valid reasons for this it’s true but when it comes to your Master you have to love yourself enough to show Him all of you every broken piece. Don’t pretend to be things you’re not, don’t feel shame for not being as strong as you lead on. A Master should know the full and true real you. Love yourself enough to take off all the masks around Him and He will be the rock you need anytime you need it. He needs to know everything about you and needs to know that you are what He wants and needs so hiding the real you isn’t fair to either of you. Allow girl the tenderness to comfort Him. This one is a little hard to put into words at times. Even the strongest Master sometimes needs a shoulder and tenderness. Some find this part hard I personally am always like this, but you need to be able to see that even though He is Master, He is also human and there will be times you need to be there for comfort and reassurance. Understanding as well, if He just needs you there with your head in His lap while He thinks then so be it. Everyone needs a rock now and then, especially the One who has agreed to take charge of your well-being as well as to be your rock always. Allow girl wisdom to be an asset to Him. When you beg a collar from a Master, you are offering yourself to be His property. To be blunt about it though who wants someone who will prove to be a liability and not an asset? When you wear His collar about your throat, you then hold His very honor in your hand. Every move you make you do with His person. Every word you speak you say with His voice. It takes wisdom to keep this at the front of your mind when He’s not with you. It will take time until thinking before every action comes naturally, generally rule of thumb is though, if He wouldn’t find it pleasing if He were there don’t do it. Let girl be able to show Him each day her love of her service to Him. This is what it’s all about any Master wants a slave that loves to be pleasing and revels in it, that isn’t the problem. The problem lays within sick days or bad days those are the days when you have to get creative. This is another area where attention to detail comes in, is there a specific thing that He loves that you thoroughly enjoy? The bad days are the days when you need to allow your love of it to shine through with sheer and utter brilliance even though you may not feel the best. Even when you’re feeling your worst you love of subservience has to be able to still shine through unclouded which is hard but trust me possible. Let girl open herself up to completely belong to Him. Being someone’s property may sound easy enough but when it comes down to it a new area comes in to focus. If you have fears that keep you from being open or honest. Maybe there are some deep seated reservations that keep you from being completely open with yourself. There will come a point where you either care for Him enough that you no longer have them or there comes a time when you part ways and have to give up. If no is in your heart you cannot fully belong to someone. If you love someone enough eventually nothing matters as long as they’re right there beside you that is all that matters. No inhibitions no fears, no reservations, just 100% obedience, joy, love and subservience without a second thought. Let girl accept her punishment with the grace of a woman. A slave can strive for perfection but that does not mean she will achieve it. No matter how hard you try there will be times you stumble and fall. There may also be times you are outright obstinate even if you don’t mean to be. Punishment is meant to be corrective and when it’s needed you need to accept it with humility and grace. Punishment happens to correct bad behavior, use it as an opportunity to better understand yourself and correct things for the future. It’s imperative to accept it without whining or complaint, if you did something to mess up accept your punishment and learn from it. Knowing it isn’t fun or pleasant and at times can be painful is a good thing you’re not supposed to seek punishment, it’s supposed to deter you from making the same mistakes twice. Let girl learn to please Him, beyond herself. To me this is a very complex one, it means that not only should you please Him when He is present or has given you specific rules but also that He captures your mind , body, heart, and soul. Meaning that every time something pops into your mind the first question towards the answer should be how could He be pleased by this, or how can I adapt this that it would please Him. This means again that His pleasure should far surpass your own. In the end a happy Master leads to a happy slave. Grant girl the power to give herself to Him completely. This is one of those deep thought provoking areas. What exactly does completely mean? A word can have several definitions depending on who you ask. To me it means quite literally everything within limitations. A slave needs to be able to be happy with herself before trying to be with someone else however you give Him your happiness so that He may revel in the fact that He makes it brighter. A slave gives her Master her love so that He might find comfort in it and return it from Himself. A slave gives Him her fears so that He can understand where she comes from and what may fuel certain actions or reactions, so that He might help her conquer them. Quite literally everything mind, body, and soul. His body that I might use it to complete daily tasks, whether it be cleaning the house or writing something He wishes. His mind so that I might think of better ways to please Him and bring smiles on a rough day, and so that I might be wise enough to debate topics of interest with Him. His soul so that I may live my days to uphold His honor, bring Him joy and strive to be everything He needs and wants. His heart that I use to love Him without question or doubt. Give girl the strength to please us both. A slave receives much of her pleasure and happiness from her service to her Master. A slave is happy when she’s being pleasing to her Master; she also gets pleasure from rewards she may receive when she has been exceptionally good. But in some circumstances it takes strength to put her wants and needs on hold to put His first. It takes time to get to that point but once it is achieved it is an amazingly freeing experience. It makes a slave completely selfless. I personally can find joy in anything I do for my Master although each slave is different. A Master slave relationship takes a great deal of commitment but it is well worth all the hard work and difficult times. I wouldn’t trade the feeling of calm and being free for anything in the world. I’ve only felt this once in all my years as a slave but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world you have my word on that. Permit girl to love herself, in loving Him. If you do not love yourself or love yourself in your service to Him, it may be time to look for a new relationship. A Master should instill a sense of pride in you, pride for being able to love Him so much that you pour your love into everything you do for Him. A Master should also instill in you a sense of self-worth, not only because you are his prized possession but because, slavery on the whole is something that comes of a deep seeded root or need within. If you don’t know your self worth or think of yourself as worthless you are of no use to a Master. If you don’t have pride and know your worth neither will anyone else but that’s something entirely different. If He didn’t find you overall pleasing you wouldn’t be with Him. Praise is just as important in a Master slave relationship as punishment because if it wasn’t for praise how would a slave know she is doing right. The main point to this one is love yourself in how you love and serve your Master. If He and you are happy that is all that matters, no matter what anyone else says. Those who don’t understand such a deep connection may bad mouth it or say negative things but those things should not bother you one bit. For it is her greatest wish, her highest power, to make His life complete as He makes hers. This is the biggest part of the slave’s prayer. It brings a quote to mind from one of the gor books “Though I am slave,' she said, 'yet for the first time in my life, I am free.' Page 303 nomads of gor. The desire to be His everything is of utmost importance. It’s very much so a two way stress His happiness for yours. Master slave relationships cannot exist without each part, it’s an eternal circle of trust, commitment , devotion, obedience and love. A slave’s surrender empowers the Master as His guidance and order, sets you free within your slavery and submission. Two halves of the perfect whole, yin and yang but part of the slaves half is the desire to please and obey. With all of that said I leave the readers with a quote I came up with years ago when I first started the decent into being a slave, it’s something that I didn’t fully understand until recently that is this. “a slave a true slave , her heart only knows two things , desire , and unselfish commitment to the pleasure of her Master , whatever that pleasure may be” . I chose to be a slave and I never once regretted that decision.

One last thought for the evening about my favorite mythological creature the Phoenix pull up a chair and hear the tale.   The Phoenix's song was so melodious that Apollo Himself stopped the very Sun in its tracks to listen. The Phoenix was the only one of his kind and had no mate; therefore, when he died, then his song would die with him. To keep this from happening, the God of Music granted this GORGEOUS bird Eternal Life.   The other animals were filled with jealous rage. The Phoenix did not ask Apollo for such a gracious gift, yet everyone wanted to flaunt his vibrant feathers - rich purple and deep indigo, bright yellows and lovely jades. They picked the poor bird almost clean bald, ostracizing him for having gained Apollo's favor. In pain and panic this beautiful bird, through no fault of his own, was driven from his home by the cruelty and the bullying of the other animals.   The Phoenix found an isolated and desolate area by a well and, there, dedicated his life to singing to the Sun. He vowed to Apollo that his song would belong forever to Him alone. For 500 years, he sang his song to the Sun so the Music God could enjoy the sounds which the bird emitted - safe from the jealousy, competition and bullies which abounded back at home.   While Apollo had granted His precious song-bird Eternal Life, He had neglected to grant this poor bird Eternal Youth, and 500 years is a long time. Five hundred years later, the Phoenix would cry out for Apollo's mercy daily. The bird was old and he was tired. He wanted to pass on his mantle somehow to another creature. Finally, in desperation, he gathered up sweet-smelling bark from the cinnamon tree, the sap from the myrrh tree and clove buds (the Phoenix did have a weakness for aromatic scents) and he made his way back to his place of origin. He needed to gain Apollo's attention somehow - and where better but the place where he had originally caught it?   Finally, atop a palm tree, he built a nest. In front of the progeny of those who had treated the Phoenix so poorly, he called out to the Sun one last time. Apollo, greatly moved by his song-bird's plight and show of need, granted his request and sent a ray of straight sunlight to the bird, catching his funeral pyre ablaze - bird and all. Out of these ashes, the new Phoenix hatches and matures in a matter of moments, collects his predecessor's ashes, puts them into the egg that he just hatched from. Then he makes his long migration to Heliopolis, the City of the Sun, to allow his Father to rest in Hallowed Ground. Apollo, who granted him Eternal Life, will forever watch over him and not allow anyone else to pluck any Phoenix bald or treat the remains poorly. The fledgeling, in the Temple of the Sun, makes his vow to Apollo - the same vow that every Phoenix makes: 'I will sing only for You, Oh Sun!'   He then returns to his home beside the Well to fulfill that obligation for the next 500 years. Apollo will never be without His melodious Song-Bird.

Laying in bed awake at 4 am leads to interesting random thoughts here are a few I felt like sharing. . .   Apparently anymore people are using CM to use people for money and it's pathetic that they use people like that and that people actually do it.   The first email isn't always easy to do, and especially when your shy hence why I'm not one for sending them.   Dick pictures are not impressive at ALL size doesn't matter what matters is if you know how to use it properly.   Reading profiles is good however sometimes journals tell more   *yes these are some random things I think about when insomnia is kicking my ass*

We all know the saying your kink is not my kink but that's okay and I fully agree with that 110%. There are many types of age players out there they range in different ages , they all like different things but on that note not all littles are sexualized and that's completely okay. my little personally is 2 she loves cuddles , attention , cartoons, Disney movies , stuffies , binkies my blankie , cuddling , hello kitty, princesses , cookies, penguins , pandas , spankins and the corner is mean but I am not a sexualized little. To be honest if anything sexual were to happen around me when I'm in little space it would probably scare me and scar me more importantly. I think it would be completely deplorable for anyone to force any nonsexualized little to be around such things and anybody that does should use a hot curling iron as an insertable toy in one of their orifices because it is NOT consensual which makes it wrong. It's completely wrong , this lifestyle is already difficult to live in with the negative stigma that surrounds it, but for someone to cause stristyle that will only add to the negative stigma that surrounds it. The point I'm trying to get at is if you're a sexualized little that is completely 100% fine with me but I choose not to witness it and other nonsexualized littles have the same choice that they should get to make. Don't shove your kink down somebodies throat unless they ask nicely ;). Everyone is entitled to their own belief system within this lifestyle however not everyone is going to agree with everyone else. So accept that and move on give everyone the choice to life this beautiful lifestyle as they please and don't force anything on anyone unless they love consensual non-consent and gave you that right ahead of time then have at ;).