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IridiumGarden
Hetero Female Submissive, 35, Pennsylvania 
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IridiumGarden

I am not so much on the hunt, as I am open to the possibilities.  So, if your expectations are to move quickly and immediately see lots of pictures, I may not be what you seek.  It's not that I'm uncooperative...I'm just cautious. 

 

I have curly, brown pre-Raphaelite styled hair, blue eyes, and a penchant for the antique, whimsical, technical, intellectual, and creative.  I am well-educated, quiet, and passionate.

 

I am a vegetarian, but respect that you make your own dietary choices.  I am spiritual, but respect that religion is something deeply personal.

 

The person I am romantically interested in is someone who can inspire me.  That means, at least, that they take good care of themselves and their possessions, have a well-developed, stable, and interesting identity, are reasonably attractive, and match wits with me.

 

I am only interested in exclusive relationships--nothing casual or poly.  I am the sort of person who, if I feel we have a romantic future, will want to spend my free time with you.

 

I'm interested in a relationship completely integrated with the real life I live, where I manage my own career and assets, and spend time with my family and friends.  Any potential significant other would be one who I could comfortably introduce to my family over Thanksgiving dinner.

As an aside, I consider myself a fierce feminist (not a female supremacist!), and don't see it as inconsistent with being a joyful sexual submissive, eager to please.  But outside of sexual situations, I do expect to be treated with respect.

 

1/14/2024 10:39:05 PM: Punishment is based on creating a fear response of some kind. Fear erodes trust and connection. Trust and connection are essential for the surrender of a submissive. Therefore, punishment erodes what is essential to a healthy, successful Ds dynamic. This makes punishment of any sort incompatible with my relationships.  I am a leader and a carer in my career and daily life.  I do not punish any of my charges, and it insults the dignity of another creature to punish them. I make mistakes, but never intentionally. I have no motivation to brat or test the boundaries a partner may set for me. I hate failure, and I hate displeasing. My motivation is to make a partner proud. That is incentive enough to avoid mistakes. That is, provided I have a partner capable of feeling and expressing pleasure, and who wants to have pride in who serves him. A constructed, unnecessary punishment added on top of knowing I have failed or displeased just creates more pain for everyone, and even has more subtle, insidious impact, such as contributing to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to avoid making a mistake is communication, flowing clearly and in quantity in both directions. The best response to a mistake or misunderstanding is to try to get clarity, then discuss it, find common ground, and discuss how to avoid what went wrong. I believe in accountability and responsibility, and also in practicality. I acknowledge that my position on punishment is perhaps unusual or unexpected. I consider myself well healed from my traumas, none of which I would consider terribly serious to start with. I know myself, and I know my needs. I have no hope of serving anyone if I cannot serve with an open, vulnerable heart. Some submissives apparently require a punishment mechanism, either to set aside their mistakes with a physical reminder or something else to even the scales, or to have some sort of other constructed reminder of which way the power exchange flows. I am not so unfortunate. I can understand these concepts perfectly well through verbal reassurance.

12/26/2023 9:32:02 PM: Attention married folks. Let us not split hairs, this includes partnered folks, separated folks, and people who have been divorced or widowed less than one year. Please announce yourself, if you message me. And also if I should happen to message you. I know you are out there in numbers, because I was sadly victim to pouring myself into two of you this year. I will spare you my judgment if you will spare me your excuses. I may be generally hopeful and trusting, but I am not stupid. I will discover your lie or misrepresentation, eventually. Omitting the truth counts under oath, and it counts with me, too. I will not sleep with anyone unless I have done a background check on them, so there is not much use wasting my time and effort, or yours. I do not say this in bitterness, you are just a specific category of people that I am not capable of relating to, romantically.

10/18/2016 10:24:17 PM: 'Spring Giddiness' by RumiToday, like every other day, we wake up emptyand frightened. Don't open the door to the studyand begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.Let the beauty we love be what we do.There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.Don't go back to sleep.You must ask for what you really want.Don't go back to sleep.People are going back and forth across the doorsillwhere the two worlds touch.The door is round and open.Don't go back to sleep.I would love to kiss you.The price of kissing is your life.Now my loving is running toward my life shouting,What a bargain, let's buy it.Daylight, full of small dancing particlesand the one great turning, our soulsare dancing with you, without feet, they dance.Can you see them when I whisper in your ear?All day and night, music,a quiet, bright reedsong. If itfades, we fade.

1/22/2012 6:48:49 PM: 'Sex Without Love' by Sharon Olds   How do they do it, the ones who make lovewithout love? Beautiful as dancers,gliding over each other like ice-skatersover the ice, fingers hookedinside each other's bodies, facesred as steak, wine, wet as thechildren at birth whose mothers are going togive them away. How do they come to thecome to the come to the God come to thestill waters, and not lovethe one who came there with them, lightrising slowly as steam off their joinedskin? These are the true religious,the purists, the pros, the ones who will notaccept a false Messiah, love thepriest instead of the God. They do notmistake the lover for their own pleasure,they are like great runners: they know they are alonewith the road surface, the cold, the wind,the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-vascular health--just factors, like the partnerin the bed, and not the truth, which is thesingle body alone in the universeagainst its own best time.

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DaddysGirl84
 
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