I am demisexual, so my sexual interest is slow to begin. Overtly sexual messages from new people are a pretty big turn off. I now own a house and a barn with a decent amount of woods.

Due to some major life changes, Ive done some rethinking about what I want. Im going to describe my ideal, but I am open to other possibilities. I need a deeply submissive partner with a high sex drive, to humiliate and control. I am not much of a sadist, but there will be some pain. I am a deeply passionate person and very affectionate. Outside of our relationship I want my submissive to be strong and independent. I would even like them to be my partner in life outside of our sexual relationship.

I am looking for long term as a goal, but willing to try shorter term to gauge interest. I am capable of taking more control than I have described, I just find that in vanilla life someone that is a doormat wont get along with me or be able to travel in my social circles other than as arm candy. Ive done that it just isnt my ideal.

I am not active in the community. I have some friends that are. I am sane safe and consentual. I just have some philosophical disagreements with the community at large and find that its not for me. Im not unwilling to attend events in it if its your thing, but I will likely be miserable.

I have had no real luck here, but have been rather successful finding kink partners on vanilla site. However, should a meet happen it will be public and low risk likely coffee. I move very slowly into relationships, because Im very slow to trust and despite common wisdom here a Dom needs to know and trust a sub as much as a sub must trust a Dom for play to actually be safe. If thats not for you, than neither am I.

Im really only looking real-time, so be local or willing to eventually relocate.

Always happy to chat with folks about vanilla stuff.