3/22/2024 12:49:47 PM: I pulled a really long nose hair out today to see if it would hurt. Judging by the reaction of the guy who was asleep next to me on the bus, It does.

3/21/2024 2:29:09 AM:   So tell me, are you happy, Do you have the things you need? The house, the car, the children, Are all your dreams complete?   Is the life you have enough for you, Are you wishing there was more? Or is the home you have a prison? Even though it has a door.    Tell me who you dream of, Whose words still move your soul? Are you going through the motions. Where nothing makes you whole?   Do you want to be alive again And feel a lovers touch. Are those days now just a memory? Where nothing matters very much.   You did everything he asked of you, You know you've played your part So maybe, then just maybe.. It's time to live your heart.

3/16/2024 11:12:47 PM: I met one of the loves of my life on here, we were only together for a while but her impact on me will last forever.I cant believe 10 years have passed on by since then though. The thing is, we age, we all do, luckily I have this strange mind set. I find the women I most want to be with tend to come along in an age group that increases as I do.Because lets face it, when the collar and chains come off I want some common ground to be able to share with her.

12/5/2017 8:23:15 PM: Now I have a sense of humour as good as the next man. But surely a prostate examination is never a good time to find out your doctor is an amateur ventriloquist...

10/28/2017 9:28:45 PM: Notes on my latest holiday. Genesis 1-3 The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said, 'Let there be light'. And there was light too, tons of it, you could see for miles.   Oh sure, the Bible tells you that God gave the earth light on the very first day. Me? I had to wait until the third day of my holiday before I saw it.... Then of course with 95f sunshine spreading its goodness all over the ground, this created another nice little interesting side effect. 98% humidity. Have you ever hung up clothes in a steamy bathroom to get all the creases out? You have? oh good, now you know exactly what my testicles looked like after 3 hours of sitting in hot, steamy sunshine. I was left without a single wrinkle on them. But now I need to go back to my second day again. Imagine the Caribbean. Imagine Blue skies, white pristine beaches, Palm trees gently swaying in the breeze and turquoise seas glistening like a mirror in the sunlight.. It was bugger all like that! First of all the sky was rolling, black and angry, the rain was beating down so hard, families of fish had left the sea and were walking up and down the beach saying how nice it was. Well I say beach.. in reality the wind is whipping it up so hard it's like standing in front of a sand blaster, but hey, at least it dislodged a few hundred Mosquitoes that were busy feeding on my willy. Oh and while we're at it..The palm trees were swaying so hard they were throwing off Coconut shells like bullets, Finally, the Turquoise seas had obviously done a holiday swap with Clacton UK. AND THAT, that was the day some poor bugger had chosen for her dream Caribbean wedding. There is a saying all brides are beautiful. Which is a complete load of bollocks....this honeymonster certainly wasn't. I've seen several weddings in the Caribbean, just not one that had been organized by Poundland. I don't know who made the Brides dress but I'm sure on some level, Stevie Wonder did the design work.. I've seen better clothing on a rag and bone cart.. Sadly, her make up (and I dont care HOW waterproof you make it) didn't last very long in a 70mph wind and a sand filled driving rain. Within about 2 minutes I was wearing more make up than she was. And because the Pagoda they were getting married in was completely open to the elements, the 16 or so guests all huddled together from the rain, looked like they were getting married in a football huddle. My heart (well, swinging pebble) almost went out to her. Time for another drink. On the third day I was in the pool at the swim bar. Some nasty American (even though I'd already had 5 or 6 beers, some sparkling Pinot and the odd Banana Daquiri) forced me to drink 7 or 8 Tequila shots. Man I was rocking. Oh and another thing..the pool had about 50 or so people crowded around the bar. Lots of them would finish their beer, dip their empty beer mugs in the pool to swill them out then hand them over to the barman to fill them back up. THE DIRTY BASTARDS.......HOW un-hygienic! some people have NO consideration for other pool users. Besides. I'd just peed in there.