Collarspace

As I rewrite this profile a bit today, I am in a very contemplative frame of mind. On one hand my marketing background has me asking.. What is the purpose of this profile?Who is my target audience?What am I trying to say to them?Is this profile reaching the women I want to talk to? Is it succeeding in making them want to talk to me? These are all fundamental questions. Unless I am damned sure I know the answer to the first three, and that the answer to the last 2 is yes, then Im just wasting bandwidth here. So if after reading through it you think you are the sort of woman Im seeking, even if you arent interested or arent available, I would appreciate your thoughts and advice on how to improve it. On the other hand, Im thinking about the bdsm world in general, and my relationship to it. The naked truth is, that I want no part of the bdsm community. I have already reduced my involvement both in real life and on line to near zero, and dont see that trend reversing. I still do demos and lectures when asked. I am always open to making new friends, and I will never give up on my search for the right woman who will make my life complete, until of course, I find her. So if you are reading this and think you could be her, this is me. All of me. If you are looking for super-dom, Im sorry but I left my cape and tights in my other toy bag. I am the sum of my past experiences, and some of those have been painful. I have faults, sorrows and regrets, as well as joys, love and hope. I use my journal as my sounding board, and its not filtered. You see, I have no interest in putting my best foot forward. You get both feet. Im not going to bury all the stuff I dont want you to know until youve committed to me. Im not putting on an act, feeding you what you want to hear, or covering up the warts. Im a man. A man with good points and bad. Mostly good, I believe. I think that should you make the effort to get to know me, that you will agree. If my admitting to weaknesses and faults bothers you, then move on to the next guy. He wont have any. At least not that you will know about until you have invested way too much. Like the last guy. Remember him? And speaking of him, if you wont hold me responsible for him, I wont hold you responsible for her. So thanks for reading the Preamble to my Constitution. We hold these truths to be self evident.... Update. I am in a poly 24 7 relationship with a dominant woman. We are open to having or sharing, other partners. I am only looking for relationships, not casual play. ----I find the labels commonly used in the bdsm community to be sorely lacking. My personality is dominant. I enjoy being able to take a woman to places she cant go without me. I enjoy the feeling of knowing she trusts me completely. Perhaps you notice that I tend to define myself by my interactions with my partner. Then you have noticed correctly. So what labels do I use to describe myself and the woman I seek? Lets just skip them and go right to preferences. I am attracted to strong, confident, highly intelligent, emotionally secure, trustworthy women. There are certainly many other things I find appealing as well, but that is a good starting place. Im looking for happily ever after, till death to us part, your toothbrush next to mine...all that stuff. I do not believe that integrating a relationship based on a core of ds suffers from including the vanilla aspects of life as well. Just the opposite, in fact. Now think about who you want to spend the rest of your life with and then think about living with that person, day in and day out for many years. I read through the female profiles on here, the ones who actually take the time to write one, and can write well enough to be readable, and I look at what they seek in a man. Likes bondage? I can see that being a concern if all you are seeking is casual play, but is it really a priority if you are considering uprooting your life to be with someone? I like kinky sex as much as anyone, but as far as my criteria in choosing a mate, favorite kinks isnt high on the must have list. Ive been doing WIITWD long enough that I can safely say that if you are female and on this site, then we wont have a problem finding mutually enjoyable activities. I dont care if you identify as dominant, submissive, switch or something else, as long as you fit that list of preferences above. Everything else is negotiable. Can you put those labels aside for a while as well? Are YOU seeking a strong, honest, confident man who is seeking a life partner? I promise we can fill in the blanks as we talk. I know whats out there. I have enough female friends to know what fills your in box. Cock pics, on your knees, bitch, and submit to me and I will turn you into the slut you know you really are, and other similar stuff that I cant imagine has you thinking about spending quality time with the writer. Believe me, its no better on my end. We all have our horror stories. Unfortunately all these idiots make so much noise that its hard for the honest people to find and identify each other. What all this boils down to is I dont care what labels you use. If you have self confidence, integrity, and a sharp mind, and would like to spend the rest of your life with a man with those same qualities who will value and respect you for who you are, then lets talk. I cant promise compatibility or chemistry, but I can promise we wont find out if we dont talk first. If the compatibility and chemistry are there, then I am confident we can build a relationship that encompasses both bdsm and vanilla life that will make us both happy and fulfilled. So take a chance on me...(fade to Abba)

8/2/2010 11:29:32 AM: When you came in the air went out.And every shadow filled up with doubt.I don't know who you think you are,But before the night is through,I wanna do bad things with you.I'm the kind to sit up in his room.Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue.I don't know what you've done to me,But I know this much is true:I wanna do bad things with you.

7/7/2010 2:03:28 PM: An allegory for submissive women....You live in a world where all the sandwiches are peanut butter and jelly.  You really like bread, but not pb&j.  You like tunafish, and you really hunger for a tuna fish sandwhich.  But you search everywhere, and there just isnt one anywhere to be found.  You find lots of PB&J sandwhiches that tell you they are a tunafish sandwich.  Yes, sandwiches can talk in this world.  Stop interupting.  But when you bite them, they are always pb&j.  You find lots of tunafish which tells you its part of a sandwhich, but that you have to eat it first so it can teach you how to taste the bread.  But when you try eating it, it's always just tuna, with no sandwhich.  Everyone tells you that there is no such thing as a tunafish sandwich, but you refuse to believe them.  So you search and you search.  Then you die.  Hungry.

5/28/2010 10:10:00 AM: I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about choice.  Most women who call themselves submissives or slaves (very few if any of whom would be by my definition of those terms) believe that all the decision making power is theirs when trying to find a 'dom'.  After all, even if they are not attractive and write poorly or not at all, they still get swamped with messages from doms begging for their time and attention.  What a heady feeling that must be.  They can throw up all sorts of hoops to make the prospective doms jump through, and any dom who doesn't jump.... buh bye.  And when they do find the dom they like the best, he's so grateful for receiving her 'gift of submission', that he will dominate her however she requires him to.But somehow, she quickly discovers that he 'isn't a real dom' at all.  He lied, or he's really more sub than dom, or he's just an all around loser.  And she's back on collarme ranting about how all men suck. And repeat, and repeat and repeat ad infinitum.Well....  Here is the reality.  Real doms don't play puppy.  We don't jump through hoops.  We don't need you to do us a favor by submitting to us(in other words, keep your gift). And we aren't so desperate to find a woman that will actually let us touch her, that we would be willing to settle for you.So while perhaps you do get to choose from all the puppies and wannabes and service tops, none of them are good choices.  You don't get to choose me, because frankly, either I wouldn't have you so I never wrote you to begin with, or if you actually are someone I might like, you eliminated me because I wouldn't play puppy and jump through your hoops.You see, in my world, the search for a mate is a mutual decision.  We choose each other.  And if you are seeking a man to give up control to, don't you think it's kind of back asswards to eliminate the men who don't let you push them around to start with?Perhaps for some of you who read this, a light will go on.  Perhaps after a little thought, you might realize I'm making some sense here, and change the way you do things.  You might also want to think about at least acting like you have a bit of self esteem.  Weak women are not appealing to strong doms.  Good luck in your search....  If you have something to offer, perhaps I will write you. :)

4/14/2010 10:55:23 AM: 4 months since the last time I added to my hall of shame.  Rest assured, this is only because I have grown more accustommed to the idiocy, not because the idiocy is any less frequent.I saw this on a 'submissive' female's profile today...'To have someone give you control of their bodies and minds, To be entrusted with the responsibility to take care of them,To have someone willing to suffer for you, To forsake pride and dignity to please you... What other gift in this world can possibility equate to that? And more importantly, what makes you worthy to receive it?' -- Anonymous ----If this resonates with you...  For that matter, if it doesn't cause you to feel like you want to vomit, it is unlikely that our views of what dominance and submission are, are anywhere close enough to make any conversation worthwhile.  I sugest you try searching on 'service top'.

12/8/2009 9:09:41 PM: For everyone who just doesn't get it.  No, I don't have to ask your master for permission to talk to you.  I can and will talk to anyone I choose to.  You have to ask his permission to talk to me perhaps, but that's completely different, isn't it.  And don't even get me started on how insecure a man has to be to try to isolate his sub from talking to others.There are only 3 reasons why a so called dominant prevents his sub from talking to other doms, or demands her password and reads her mail.1) He doesn't trust you.2) He's insecure.3) He doesn't trust you AND he's insecure.

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