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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Female Slave, 43,  Erie, Pennsylvania
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babygirltrixii - slave

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Currently a Mess..Not looking for ownership The life is something i enjoy and crave..but as life has its ups and downs..i currently am only looking for friends..and not a Master..i have issues (baggage) to resolve within my own psyche that is going to take time..i intend to continue my friendships and hopefully become more active than i have been lately with the munches..and maybe one day...when i am healed and ready..i will want to be owned again..

Ok , Now for those people interested in knowing the inner me..hmm..i am a mom first and for most..student and survivor of a 21y crappy lets see..i am a natural giver and nurturer..but also a bit of a brat..i do know my worth and have high expectations in a Master..just as he would me..but as any good slave would i can adapt to any style the Master chooses..should He wish for the babygirl..or the Brat..i can be the slut He desires or the diamond He keeps for training is from the old Guard..i do not know of safe words..i dont understand the need for them..does the slave not know its Master well enough to trust Him with its life.Hmmm about me..naturally submissive..but i am not sub .i am slave... i have the extreme hunger in me to serve 24/7 and to find my One..
*************************************** weed out some of the online guys..i dont do online play...i have a job as a phone sex/cam operator...i am not looking for clients or to give it free...i am searching for my One...i understand that many enjoy caming ..and such i no way wish to disrespect those that do..but i just wish to make it clear...i dont do it...unless of course ,He desires it of me..

*****Reguarding Poly*******
i have great respect for those that desire to live the life of poly, but since i have recieved many has come to my attention that my wording in my profile is a bit vague..the sharing part of my profile..(later worded) is more of the swinging type...not living Poly..i am sorry for the confusion...and truly wish those that desire that lifestyle all the luck in the world finding their perfect house...oh yes, and i see i now have to add this... regarding D/D couples...even though it is only one slave in the house to me...that is still living poly..and i have lived in a D/D house before and it can be very stressful for the slave...i am not saying it can not be done, but at my age i am not well suited for it...i wish You luck....************************************************************* being a slave i love to please and with that comes my huge i have somewhat replaced the loss of a Master with swinging..those of you that want a monogamous relationship..i am loyal to whatever my Master wishes..i do not dont worry..but on the same note..for those that wish to share me..i have no objections to basically as a true slave should, what ever Master desires goes..
Sex to me is a gift to be givin freely and passionately..I love everything about it..the touch of skin on skin, a Passionate kiss, the erotic smell, and finally that wonderful look on Master's face as he releases and gives me his pleasure.. I am looking for a long term relationship in the lifestyle and attraction is a must..I have been working very hard to get into shape to be a prize for my future Master to show..and of course it will be His choice on the eventual perfection for him..should i be perfect now..or with more toning.. He doesnt have to be Mr. Universe or have 6 pack abs..but healthy..hey and if he has a few extra pounds we can work it off together..grin..if he wishes..I show my pics and update as my progress continues..they are all current pics..and yes they are all me..











Last Online:


 Female Slave



 5' 9"

 205 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Friends Only

 Lives For:




 Beachcombing (Expert)

 Fine Dining

 Renaissance Faires

 Travel (Expert)

 Anal Play (Expert)


 Breast Play



 Hair Pulling




 Knife Play (Beginner)

 Curious About:

 Fisting (Beginner)

 Gags (Beginner)

 Hard Limits:

 Needle Play

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Journal Entries:
12/27/2012 7:39:53 PM

So i made one weightloss goal...199..yippee..can't believe i lost weight over the holidays..but i did it..and Christmas was wonderful..even though i am not Christian..i still love the holiday..and i still squeeze in my winter solstice celebrating..blessed reasoning for being unavailable right now..:


People do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. To put it another way: when you stop working on what it is you are trying to get and start working on you, only then will you get what it is you want. - James Allenng  



May the New Year bring peace and harmony to everyone's lives..and my He find His way to me...when i am ready..

12/17/2012 10:37:32 PM

Stressed out...ahh yes the holidays..lolz..was up making choc chip cookies for the neighbors..they are really starting to love my diet..(i tend to bake when i am stressed) but they are an old couple and it is nice to see their smiling faces when i come to the door with baked i would write while i can't sleep..maybe it will tire me some..I have gotten many kind words and friendships on here..and i thank journey has been bumpy..(who's hasn't) ..and the encouraging words of many wise Dom's on here give me hope that one day..when i am healed..i will find an owner again.Soo .my weight loss has come to a crashing halt..but i am hoping it is because i am going to the gym..and gaining muscle..soo close to my goal..i see the doc's at the end of January..and i really want to be under 200..Well my Cat is pawing at me..telling me its time for bed...good night all...xoxo

11/29/2012 8:00:20 AM

Another fan of mine that doesn't like to be turned down...::

Phony as the day is long too, you're nothing more than a timewaster here, a WANNABE.

And you're right, your life IS a mess, because you try to make decisions and don't do as you're told, you're simply a major fuckup, aren't you. Had you listened to

me and done as you were told a long time ago, your life would be fine today kept safe and protected and completely enslaved to me, but you're simply a wannabe fuckup that knows better, aren't you, LOL. DUMBAZZ!!!!!!

11/26/2012 6:44:00 AM

got on the scale this morning !!  75 lbs currently i am 5'10 and 205..yippee..doc's put my goal at 180..not sure if i will stop there..but its nice to know i am sooo close..and talk about celebrate when i break 200..havent been under since i was in my 20's...just thought i would announce my happiness...bring on summer...bikini's here i come !!

11/23/2012 6:40:36 AM

Hope everyone had a good Turkey Day yesterday..Sorry I havent been on ..but well with family arrival, its a bit difficult to sneak away and read my emails..;)  .. Mine was Great! I did tons of Baking, (of course i can't eat it) but I do love to cook and enjoy it when others enjoy it also :) ..Apple Pie , Pumpkin Pie, Strawberry Cheese Cake, Choc Chip Cheesecake, along with tons of food and snacks...i all hand make..:) .. Momma always said a way to a man's heart is through his if only that were true

11/11/2012 9:06:06 AM

Happy Veterans Day to my fellow Brothers and Sisters...and to those that made the ultimate sacrifice...We will NEVER forget are the true Heroes....Fly those Flags proud...We are FREE to choose our lifestyle because of Veterans !!

11/10/2012 8:16:12 PM

what an awesome night...went to a gun raffle at a local Falcons Club..spent 100 dollars didnt get a gun..:(  ..but left with a 300 dollar print luck..but i am glad i got something to remember the friends are awesome dragging me out..:)

11/9/2012 4:46:11 PM

ok i am excited..going out ..and i fit into my "skinny " jeans..i have dropped 6 sizes..and still losing... soo excited...i was a big girl..and had surgery...soo happy i did..cant wait till these jeans are too big... it is my main pic..sorry it is sideways..i will fix after i get back..smootches..

11/8/2012 12:04:46 PM

My inner Goddess is a tiger...rawr..i have always thought of myself that way..even as a child i would pretend to be one...and no not kitty play..just my personality..Mainly solitary, but very social..protective of her cubs..and has natural hunt and protect herself from harm..To take her from the wild is dangerous..but can be done with the right trainer..Many have and will, try an fail..but one..and only one will make her purr like a kitten and never get bitten..some day..i hope to find that Trainer, my Master, my Daddy..

11/7/2012 2:38:07 PM

having one of those...."you fucking idiot" moments...*bangs her head off the wall*..i need a trip to a dungeon...and get my ass beat till i learn my lesson and  stop being so fucking dumb....arrrrrrgggghhhh!!!

11/2/2012 1:21:11 PM

People please do me a favor..if your married, dont waste my time..I am not the "mistress" type..i dont like poly..because i dont like to least when it comes to the matter of the heart..i like to know that i am His everything as He is mine..Idk what it is about me..but married men flock to me..many are truthful..and in the case of my last Master..they lie and then when i find heart gets broken..and especially right now..i am an open wound..i dont need to start a convo with anyone that isn't sincere..this lifestyle is based on can i attempt to give my all to someone when they cheat or lie??

11/1/2012 9:36:58 PM

cunt ~ 

Well, you're back on this site again playing your sophomoric games. Time has passed and nothing has changed concerning your pathetic/sordid life. Soooo typical!
A mess!! Damn right, because you were involved with a moronic, asshole, loser, dangerous PSYCHO, and still emotionally attached to him (still exchanging messages with him on FL).
Why don't you commit suicide and spare us from your on-going psycho babble/drama. LOL!
And now you weigh 225 lbs.---> old, fat, and stupid, typical of the wannabe D/s subs/slaves from the NW PA area.

 so today i received yet another email from another account..


cunt ~ Since you can't DEAL with the TRUTH about yourself, the ONLY LOSER is that PSYCHO that you're still involved with. You're disgusting and pathetic.


Another fan of mine ..that can't take no for an he has to be cruel...for years he has stalked me and said cruel things, because my fat self will not talk or meet him..i block him...he just makes a new name and writes me again..or will write the men i see..he just continues to prove to me..that my initial thoughts of him were correct..LOSER!!!

10/31/2012 12:44:27 PM

Happy Halloween !! 

its raining and miserable here..and to top it off..i have acquired a i am miserable..and my place smells of right?? Hope everyone has a wonderful night..and howl at the Harvest Moon..blessed be..:) 

10/30/2012 9:10:36 AM

So far so good with a few loud bumps on the roof last night that scared the pants off we have more to come...Hope everyone else fared well through her wrath..

10/29/2012 7:24:57 AM

Halloween was awesome...friends rented a bus..decorated it and we went bar hopping..I couldnt drink due to my surgery..but still had a great time :) .. and I love to was nice to wear a skimpy costume and not feel like the good year blimp..

10/15/2012 12:23:52 PM

Well it is no wonder you are lost then my dear.  Obviously you have alot to learn.  You are certainly lost so for you to even think you know what you are speaking of at this point is in of itself wrong.  You obviously have also been involved with people who are only in this to manipulate you and to use you until your usefulness runs out then dump you.  That is exactly what is happening here.  You are too nieve and too childish to even realize what is going on.  You have no clue to what being a slave is.  Regardless of how you try to justify yourself.  You certainly make a joke out of this as well.  So life in your own little bubble.  Believe what ever you want to justify yourself.  It doesn't change the facts.   You have alot to learn.


Oh and be careful the way you talk to someone my dear.  You think you are safe hiding behind your computer.  You are not.  Anyone can find you.  Anyone with any intelligence can do things that will cause you much more grief and harm than you ever could imagine.  I am harmless compared to what some of these idiots can do.  So watch your mouth and tone.  This is not a game and you have NO clue as to what your doing. 


You are correct though.  We are through here.  I have been nothing but polite but your childish actions are only an indication that you have some serious mental and emotional issues.  Good day to you!




does this seem like a personal threat to anyone else? And I am not afriad..I am military trained..ask my last stalker..Oh and he needs to get it right...i left ...i wasn't dumped...and for someone that knows so much..why is he single...ugh..this is why i am in my state of mind..some men...arrgh

10/15/2012 11:55:17 AM

It never ceases to amaze me how people think they know my feelings after a few brief conversations..Assuming to know how a TRUE slave is supposed to feel and i have been taught wrong...and when I try to explain myself..they puff up in the oh so "Dominate" manor telling me again i am wrong..


1. as a slave, my Master becomes my extension of my own doesn't mean i dont have a brain..


2. Even when the Master is an Asshole..the slave questions herself as if she did something wrong to cause this..and to get over the effects of it..takes alot of introspection and time..


3. When the relationship ends..especially a trust issue...without a Dominate to help her through and guide her decisions..she is lost and afraid to trust anyone or her own feelings..


So back the fuck off...i am grieving the loss..even if He was an Asshole and broke my heart..healing and confidence comes with time..I am not on here looking for a Master right away..but maybe a few friends , kind words and some guidance..and with time..i will love again..maybe..:'(

10/14/2012 8:42:20 PM

Well, after a 2 yr break its back to work on my phoneline..lost all of my regular customers..but hopefully I can get them back again..Maybe it will be just what I need to get my old kinky self back...I am nervous because the drive just isn't there..but everyone needs to make a buck..and being paid for phonesex is a pretty good job for me..*giggle*

10/13/2012 11:55:48 AM

along with the cold rainy weather..comes my blues...i want so hard to get over the past..and move on to a better Master..but I am so damaged..I can't trust anyone..and tend to spend my time alone in my house...don't get me isnt the feeling sorry for myself kinda blues...just more of..I am better off alone..kinda mood...being far from the text book sane..I tend to attract men that do more damage than good...sigh..

10/12/2012 7:31:06 AM

Havent been on much...trying to figure out my new eating since the surgery..basically teaching myself how to eat again..rough journey..but worth it...45 lbs lost.!! 55 more to go to hit goal weight..and i am just 3 weeks post op!! yipee..i want to be bikini worthy come summer..may need a boob implant..they seem to be deflating..sniffle..(lol) but i am definitely excited..

9/27/2012 7:27:13 PM

well, i am a week post op...wowouchie..def painful porceedure..well worth it appetite is down to nothing..and no crasy cravings...but i am still only on clear liquids...which is fine..tummy only tolerates a little..:) 

9/9/2012 9:29:51 PM

I am getting excited..on Sept 19th I am going under the knife...gastric has been a long journey..with the emotional stress of my last Master, and being an emotional eater..I gained 60lbs in the last two years..and I do not wish to again be over as a tool, I am having the surgery..I have been on a pre-op Diet for the last 4 weeks and have lost 25lbs so far..I am so excited for the "new" old me to come back..I am large framed and will never be tiny, and I do love my curves..but rolls I dont approve of on myself (lol) ..sooo excited..

9/9/2012 2:39:21 PM

Went out with friends last night...was a blast..was nice to be out and be able to tease a few vanilla guys again..*giggle* .. taking my heart by day

9/6/2012 9:50:42 PM

Solitude, ex-Daddy..still wants me..but he has hurt me beyond repair..and I tell him it is over..but he trys and trys to win me back..but I think maybe..tonight he got the , hopefully I can begin to heal..and allow myself to enjoy life is hard for someone like me to be a little girl I am scared of being alone..all I have ever wanted was to cuddle up to Daddy and know he will keep me safe..maybe one day..I will find the One

8/15/2012 3:53:26 PM

Well I am back sort of...I enjoyed journaling on here and figured I will start again..Yes I was owned..and Now I am not..but also I am not searching...I figure I need to work out the mental baggage I was left with, before I try to attempt to start another relationship..and besides..I am an empty nester now and well..feel like being selfish and accounting to no one right now :) ..If your looking for non-pervy chat..I will answer as soon as I can..but dont ask for play..because I truly am  not interested....

2/18/2011 12:26:02 PM

Watch out Erie...babygirl on the loose tonight...giggle...

1/21/2011 12:09:53 PM

i am now Owned....Daddy wants to keep His babygirl around, no matter how bad His babygirl can be.....i am one lucky girl...xo

Daddy registered me #863-939-766  im truly lucky...xo

1/9/2011 11:30:33 PM

Hahahaha.....Message...Hi im ... age 33...i have been a Dom for 20 yrs...ok..what is wrong with that sentence?? ...because im a babygirl slave type..doesnt mean i dont know basic math..giggle..

12/19/2010 11:30:35 AM
ok...i know each branch of the Armed Service thinks theirs is the best....but each is there for a purpose and everyone of them are used in wartime...but i do have to say...some Men can show their complete insulting a branch...without making sure that i am not part of that branch...and the ironic thing about well, he claims to be a retired officer from a branch...that is known for their bravery , but not their smarts..(well its a stereotype)  i would never insult another branch...we all protect and serve...Get over yourself...wars are not won with only one branch...ugh..idiots...

12/19/2010 10:16:31 AM
Went to dungeon last night.!!!  fun , kinky xmas for all..:)   was busy and fun to see all of the scenes going on...needle play, wax play..knife..on and on...i havent been in ages was so fun to see everyone and get my "bdsm " fix...

12/16/2010 11:19:14 PM
Trip to the toy store tommorrow....yippee...been putting it off for ages...but i desided are what i want for road trip...giggle...having to edit...getting kinda rude not buying the toys...i have a generous Santa that is getting them...and helping me so i will be able to buy gifts for the kids...:)  ...Spirit of Christmas lives on..:)

12/14/2010 4:40:25 AM
Ok...lmao i have to post this...i have my views on Poly posted in my profile...Poly by definition means MORE THAN ONE..but i guess some Dominate couples believe they are ONE apparently..because after telling them to read my profile on my views on Poly living..i get this response and i get blocked...hahahaha........>>>>>>apparently you do not know the difference between poly and dom/dome i wish new people to this way of life would at least do their research.<<<<<<
I think they need to read the dictionary...and also read my profile...which states...POLY LIVING...which infers more than one.....ugh...i wouldnt live in an all sub household either...get a grip..and READ...

12/11/2010 6:04:16 PM
Evanescence    My Immortal     .............*sigh*

12/11/2010 2:19:06 AM
 got to luv the wana be's that get upset because i wont cam with them..and it states in my profile.. specifically why i dont....and then they have to be rude and call me a fat ass..ok..lolz. i know im a big girl..dont deny why try to insult not ashamed of my curves..i quite like them..and were just trying to get off on them..sooo? who is the idiot here..? lol anyone of my friends want his name so you can bash him for me since he was so brave to block me..? lmao...

12/9/2010 2:56:11 PM
Lets see, i havent written in a while...been trying to get over heart break and the loss of a good friend...November had been a devastating month..Now December brought with it some car shit the bed yet again...head gasket..yay..ugh..but friends desided to pay to get it fixed for me...a xmas presant of sorts and a huge burden taken off my shoulders..thank the gods for friends...My kids have been wonderful when i had to break the news of no xmas presants this year..they are soo good they werent broken hearted about it at all..well at least they didnt show me they were...i got a its ok "mom" ..made me teary eye'd and feel i dont deserve to have such good kids...

the recent snow storm was a killer...5ft of snow in about 48 hours...and yet again someone came to my much snow in my driveway they had to use a back hoe to get me out..and i didnt pay a thing..all i can say is i have lead an honest life and when i had money i helped out whomever i karma is paying me back...thank goodness i chose the good path...Now if only i could find the right Man to enter my life...and my world would be complete...Never give up , is my trudge on i must...what ever life throws at ready..because nothing will ever break my hope...:)

11/29/2010 8:36:12 PM
So im finding myself fighting the blues these days...not wanting to do much of anything...and really not tolerating it so hard to ask that sexual talk on first couple of conversations should be kept to a minimum...?  i am a sexual creature as are men...but i have found it very discouraging when all the conversation consists of is sex...i am becoming very disillusioned and it is depressing...are there any men out there that can have a real conversation to get to know someone?  i am not looking for a play partner...i am looking for a Master for is the simple is it sooo many dont get that i am more than a set of tits and a vagina.?  and if you want to own me get the whole package...not just parts..even though it seems that is all Men want.....*big sigh* 

11/28/2010 2:14:26 AM


Sorry i havent been on in a life as usual has been chaotic..and i have been in hiding...trying to get over this last heart break...and of course dealing with the holidays...thanksgiving was fun...played yatzee and rummy with my friends family all night till time to go shopping on Black friday..i didnt go..think they were nuts..but i hung out with them and went home when they took off to shop...Friday night was friend and i desided to hang out in this crappy little town and see what trouble we could get into...too funny the people here..was a blast people watching...the rest of the weekend i spent quietly at one around..and of course i cant im writing sorry to everyone that emailed me..i will get to responding patient with me please...xoxo hope everyone has a good restful Sunday :)

11/24/2010 12:04:36 PM


my best friend invited me to her family Tday celebration, so i wont be alone...*sigh* ...i just feel like hiding and make the world go tired of being hurt and lonely....wish sooo bad i could let my guard down and finally meet the one for me...Holidays suck when you have no family...or someone special...but i will try to get out of this funk...spending the day cleaning and dragging out the christmas deco's...i didnt light the house last year..but think im gonna this year...:)

11/22/2010 11:20:12 PM

So...yet again i am back to walking...ugh..i swear im not meant to drive...blown head gasket...gonna cost me at least 400 to repair...sigh...sooo Trixii is stuck at home for the time being...well at least walking is good excercise...just gonna get a bit cold....brrrr...

11/15/2010 2:40:07 AM

omg..!!! call me an ex Master has at least 3 profiles on here...i cant believe i was lied to like that..and i was dumb enough to fall for it....*bangs head off table*  god im such an idiot...and here i was toying with the fact of begging him to take me back....OMG...

11/15/2010 1:18:33 AM

hahaha tooo funny...someone is saying that im a guy...i can only imagine who that could be...well no biggie...only those truly real and wanting to know me will find out anyway...hahaha

11/14/2010 11:31:45 PM

i had started this a while back and i wish to continue writing as a progression of my inner self and strength of this journey i am on..this has been a rough time..loosing one of my closest male friend to a motorcycle crash has made me realize life is a short journey and it is to be savored and appreciated every day..and i have found out whom is truly my friends and who are just after the "benefits" of my friendship and was a sad discovery..but one that needed to be found in a best friend helped me again even in his Death...Mort i miss you dearly...may you find a way to keep in touch with me even in death...i will look for you...and i know you will watch over me in death as you did in life...i love you eternally...our souls are connected in friendship forever..till the next life when we will meet again...

and in respect to him...i have began to open myself..and speak to those that i was afraid to before...when i am out..and someone would say shyness would take over and i would i smile and say hello and have long conversations with whomever wishes to chat...and it has been many have told me they thought i was snobbish or mean..and now they see it was quite the wrong assumption....and i have found myself to be stronger than i realized...i have no idea what the earth mother has in store for me...but i am willing to follow her path ..however it may lead with a smile and i will cherish every moment i am allowed to walk on her earth...and Welcoming everyone i meet into my life....with a hug and a smile...


11/9/2010 10:24:24 PM

Well it was fun while it lasted...i met a wonderful Master...but as i admit i can be a handful and my life is never ending chaos...we have decided to end the trouble and i am alone again...He had a hard time understanding how chaotic my life is..and he wasnt ready to share his with me...which made us both question our intentions in the relationship...i adore him...and i can say i started to love him..and i am broken hearted over this..especially since i am also going threw the death of a very close friend..its seems as if i am destined to be miserable forever..

9/17/2010 2:32:31 PM
ahh soo when so called Doms email me..calling me a drama queen and condemning my relationship.and then block and not read my response..i wish no ill will on anyone..and i hope each person finds the one that belongs with them.....yes..i have been used in the past and a bunch of fakes are on here..but i have finally found the One that truly completes me..and yes we are together in real life not cyber space...i have found my happily ever after and i hope every person finds Sir..i adore You...i am Yours always..xo

9/12/2010 7:08:54 PM
i am now owned by sirtaindepravity..please be respectful and go threw him for any correspondence.. and for those of you ..that enjoy my journals....i have found the most amazing man..He is strong yet gentle...Dominate yet romantic...our connection in just a few short weeks has blossomed into something rare and unexpected..and very much welcomed...time will only tell where this journey will take us..let the adventure begin...:) ...Sir i am yours...xo

9/7/2010 11:29:21 PM
Smile on my face.. Lingering thoughts of Him on my mind. Can this be real or Is it a Dream? Brain says "Do not trust Him" Heart says "its about time, let Him in" Hands reach out for Him Feet say "Run" The Phone is Him. Ears say "Listen to your Heart, Hear the care in His voice" Mouth says "Hello Daddy,i have missed you"

9/3/2010 11:05:48 PM
giggle..ahh my life on CM always such an adventure...yet again..another one bites the dust..look i will not turn on my cam until after i meet you face to face..period...just had one get frustrated and not understand...i dont pic pics are on here or you can find me on the other see more..and he bitched because he said what Dom would want to meet me if i cant prove who i am on cam..before the meet..hello? if it isnt me...why would i agree to meet...hahaha..he said i seemed too good to be true...and then told me im gonna miss out...well i guess if he cant understand my not missing

9/2/2010 8:26:34 AM
so yet another @$$hole i met...i understand Dom's are demanding..but im not into cyber control..and with everyone i explain my situation and i have little time to myself...but yet again...i get questioned on my intentions...and then he trys to just stating the when i explain fully my situation...i get called a self pitying person and that there is always someone worse shit a survivor far from self pitying..and last i remember..the whole convo was over His need for attention and why he wasnt getting who is self pitying??? ugh...maybe i just need to give up..

8/31/2010 7:12:17 PM
Soo..seems as if skinny dipping over the weekend has givin me a lousy cold...sniffle..look what happens when i let loose...where is Daddy when i need Him...? to tell me the water is to cold and to say day i will have a Daddy to take care of me and make sure i stay out of trouble...(or at least guided trouble by Him..*blush*)

8/30/2010 10:36:13 AM
i have a love hate relationship with my tiny is a 3 br...900 sqft home...i moved a couple years back out of an almost 3000 sqft home when i left my ex..needless to say i have all my stuff crammed in a tiny box...and well most of them are heirlooms so i find it hard to get rid of...but damn my house gets cluddered and messy so fast...seems like im never ending cleaning the fact that there is 3 people..3 dogs and a cat in here also..doesnt help...hahaha...Happy Monday to all...back to my cleaning...;)

8/29/2010 1:51:27 AM
fun night...have to say...a friend came home from conn..and a bunch of us girls got together...was fun..we basically took over the bars we went too...then a skinny dip in cold water at 3 am...burrr....but how fun and liberating...and i must of the girls had a bf and he got into the water too...shrikage be damned..hahaha what a good guy..he is a keeper for her....lucky girl...sigh one off to bed in my drunken haze...happy sunday to all..xo...

8/28/2010 12:59:44 PM
ya know i have to laugh at those that think they are Daddy Doms...just had a good one early this morning..number one i went out last night so the emails i read at 3 am...had drunken trixii please excuse..and number two..why write me a long email..and basically state your into poly..when i state im not...i have a reason for not wanting poly..i dont feel like being punished daily for the other bitch in the why should i write a big long email back...because from the start im not into Poly...but he gets pissed and blocks me because i wrote a one liner.."not into poly"...and tells me everyone on here has no idea how to communicate..hahahaha...idk..idiots that think they have the right to call themselves Dominate..

8/26/2010 6:58:25 PM
Soo...i cant win....dropped my kid off at school...and fuel pump went in my car...ugh...thank the gods for my best friend and her guy friends....

8/20/2010 11:28:02 AM
i dont know if its my age, the fact that im soon to be an empty nester...or just giving in finally to my kinky side...but i find myself more and more fantasizing about being force bred for my Master...and becoming a cow...lactating for his it to let him use my milk in the household or for others to suckle upon me...

the thought just sends me over the edge...a need that is crazy...children at my age is crazy, not to meantion dangerous....but even now the thought makes me wet , and throbbing...wanting it to happen...sigh..i think insanity is upon me....giggle...

8/20/2010 2:56:29 AM

Long night couldnt sleep...and yet the morning came...with me heading off to bed with a thought and a smile...*maybe* something or is it someone..has brought me a reason to dream....xoxo...

8/9/2010 7:41:07 PM
ok..recap of the weekend..went on a vanilla ..some guy i spoke with on internet..brought along my best friend..the guy had the balls to say "shame your too fat, i think your sooo pretty" ok..asshole..but i do have to give him a thank you..because since then i have up'd my walking to jogging...and i feel great doing it..although they dont make a bra strong enough to hold the girls down..lolz..

i have been on a plateau for months..and i am not a fan of running..(not to include i have a bad back)..but i need to do it....i still have the 50lbs i want to keep your fingers crossed for me...i need to jump start my weight loss again..

hugz and kisses

8/7/2010 1:37:54 PM
ok..ranting...i really have to laugh at some people...look..i have a life outside it says in my profile...i have to take it slow and descreetly because of my teen..been talking on the phone to a gentleman..and he wants to call and discuss the life at all times...not possible due to nosey teen around..and he calls over and over and over..obsessive..and i cant answer..told him i cant..but he still doesnt get it..and i hate to misbehave..he is being i emailed him here and told him that this wasnt gona work..guess an email back ..calling me a fake asshole ..and he blocked not fake..i belong to a group in Erie and a dungeon in Cleveland..i just cant do 24/7 yet..but at least i found out he can day ...i hope to find the perfect mix in a man..and we will blend together well..

8/3/2010 12:39:48 PM
Happy Day for controlling ex..finally gave me my divorce papers..we signed today...yippee...and trust me..the control he did wasnt the fun kink kind...damn he wouldnt spank me no matter how much i begged..

he filed almost 2 yrs ago..and wouldnt give me the papers..and out of the blue last night..texted me and asked me if i was ready to sign....Hellz ya..!!! at 130pm EST ..we signed...yippee

8/2/2010 8:09:39 AM
So bored...fantasy time...i soooo want to be taken by a bunch of harley guys..tied up thrown on a bike and rode off to be used by everyone in the club...sigh..the things a lonely uncollared slave girl will think about.. Happy Monday everyone...;)

8/1/2010 9:41:26 PM
So..cravings are getting hard to ignore....i really want to be tied and used as i am meant to be..and the longer i seems the angrier i get and so now i have found a couple of sub men to abuse...i am getting so angry that so many men have become such whimps...that i  am getting more and more Sadistic...ahhhh...delima...

7/27/2010 10:26:58 AM
So my gut feelings were right and Trixii is single day...i will find the right would think it wouldnt be so hard..but it is..i guess its because i want forever and not for now...and now with my disillusionment of male Dom's i myself have found some inner strength..and have started dabbling in switching....idk..maybe a pass time for now..because i do like to serve...and in a way Dommeing still serving men...kinda weird way of putting it i possibly i have become confused in a sense. Only time will tell..and i have found such a wonderful pet to start training..He himself was once a Dom...that is curious to we will explore together...nothing serious as of yet..just exploration.....but he is such a good boy so far...;)..and i may need to find another pet to use him for me...giggle

7/3/2010 9:49:51 PM
so we have had a couple of outings , one to a bdsm club i frequent..was a fun night..but today i have bad feelings...idk..maybe its my safety mechanism going off...but idk if he is the one...i want this so bad...ahhhh..but yet im is wrong with me.?

6/30/2010 8:52:16 AM underconsideration...finally and hopefully the last time..can you believe we found each other on a vanilla site and with our first kiss we realized what each other were..hahahaha..he grabbed me by the hair and held my chin for the kiss...i melted in his arms..scared to reveal what i wasnt until the next day..he was telling me a story about an ex..and said it...BDSM !!..i about pee'd then i told him and i could hear his smile threw the the adventure begins.....

5/30/2010 7:36:31 AM
Havent written in a i figured its about of school for the summer..time to focus on my life a bit...its been a busy one...and my friends are keeping me a harley ride...god i love motorcycles...nothing like riding free...Mmmm

5/20/2010 1:20:32 PM
its thursday warm almost made it to 80 today..yay...but a bit sad because i so love to ride Motorcycles..and i cant find a soul to give me a ride...sniffle..nothing better than holding on tight to DADDY and riding the wind....sigh one dayyy

5/16/2010 9:54:45 AM
wow what an awesome very shy believe it or going to a public club is kinda scary for me..i was taught not to speak to Master/Doms unless they wish public settings are kinda hard because the guys dont want to just walk up to women..but last night ..a friend and her Dom/hubby were there and he whipped me a bit..:) was fun..

then a Dom approached me and actually scened with made me orgasm from the pain 4 times.(love the cross and paddles..blush)..i was weak at the knees in the end...i have some lovely bruises i will maybe post later....but it still makes me sad because i am unowned...sniffle

P.s...what is that little wheel thingy with the points called...that thing is awesome...tee,hee

5/15/2010 7:13:50 AM
Heading to cleveland tonight...dungeon female subbie friends are telling me to stop being depressing and come with i guess im going good friends...but they dont seem to get how i watch in jealousy at the dynamics that couples have there..sniffle..they dont mind being unowned as much as i do...sigh...maybe one day i will be either used to it...or owned....

5/9/2010 6:59:26 AM
Happy Mother's Day one and all...even to you single Dad's out there.....Me I'm all alone..sniffle..empty nest thing sucks..hahaha..but i never give up hope that one day i will have Master to take care of.....*big smiles*

watch the link..hahaha too funny

5/8/2010 5:39:01 PM
all alone...sniffle..nothing to do...why do i trust men...thought i had a date...but he isnt ya...grrr

5/7/2010 3:29:53 PM
i am alone.....ahhh kids.. friends are all going to go batty....empty nest syndrome....cryyyyy...Daddy where are you?

5/6/2010 5:25:48 PM
My latest thought...and gift to myself everyone knows i have been going threw some shit lately and here it is ...going to be mothers day weekend and my poophead ex bought concert tickets for my kids...of course my good kids asked if i would be upset..(i was) but didnt let them know..(i knew they wanted to go to the concert) they will be with their dad on mothersday...sooo..i was thinking of getting my nipples pierced or a tattoo...i know money is tight for me right now...but i honestly dont ever really spend much on myself and i have been wanting both for sometime...but my unowned...i dont want to get something done and my future Master say get rid of i was leaning toward piercings...(easier to get rid of..giggle)...ideas???

5/5/2010 7:47:22 AM
warm sunny day...finally...may head outside for some my long really need to mow...

5/5/2010 6:47:37 AM
ok im finally gona post this..prob will get a bunch of slack for it..and i know its against the rules....but there is a guy that preys on women in here...just basically to get them to cam..claiming he is something he isnt...and i have experienced him..and he did admit to me who he was...but he has forgotten who i am and sent me his bullshit line a couple of times if ya want to know who he is...send me an email...

5/4/2010 3:05:09 AM
So its the wee hours of the morning and stress has me figured i would jot down a few things..i do count my blessings..i have made a few wonderful friends threw out this journey...i am alone in this life..with no family to count on..just myself and my kids....mistakes happen ..lessons learned...but threw the disasters friends are made...i am a die hard the crap hits the fan..i do worry a bit..more for my kids than anything...i would be alright to live on a park bench...but wouldnt ever want to see my kids that is where the stress factor comes in...when my car died beside the friend was more upset than just has a way of working out...i am truly blessed....and the funny thing is you find your true friends during those times...i was seeing a guy..he was telling me all the right when i dont have a car to see him anymore...the phone goes i think life is trying to tell me something...ya think...hahaha...and the poophead Daddy Dom that wrote me the nasty email on my other one that has been trying to get with me for a long time and gets that way because he feels i should be seeing him...ok..who wants to be talked to like that...not Daddy Dearest..get over it..not gona happen..been trying to be nice this whole time and tell belittling me..and being an ass...gets you tired of have a kindness in you..but your temper sucks...find someone who can handle it...i cant anymore...

5/3/2010 9:01:44 AM you read the last paragraph..this is the kind of crap i get from a so called Daddy Dom..nice eh..i place blame on no one but myself..but my journals are about mylife that i share with others..and FYI buttface..i am a traditional take care of the cars...i dont know shit about them...but i am learning..I think you are the one that needs to leave !!  Blocked...>>> FYI: since you go through life with your head up your rectum and your mind in your crotch on a 24/7 basis, you failed to properly maintain your vehicle. This ought to be a WAKE UP call for you, i.e. leave the D/s realm and take care of your personal business first and foremost. DUH!!

5/2/2010 4:27:14 PM
So had a lot of stress in my life lately and desided to visit a friend 6 hrs blow a head gasket in my car....ok...when can i get a break...lolz...ya i know was my fault old car..i should have known better...but geeze...well at least walking will help the diet..lolz

4/28/2010 5:00:19 PM
So being a bad girl...soposed to be studying for chem test tomorrow..and here im searching the web...sigh...well i guess i better hit the books..

4/26/2010 6:05:49 PM
When you look apon a person for the first time...or hear the persons voice it then..right that moment you know that the fit is there..? or is it threw time and listening...learning a person...the good and the bad...not judging them on that first instance...or conversation...but then when that person judges you in that hurtful...what do you do...judge them? end the conversation because they obviously are closed minded...but then arnt you being the same way...what a conundrum....especially when the person doesnt even realise what they have done.....emotions...feelings...oh how they are part of life...complex as they make things...we couldnt live without them....and sometimes...i wish i could...

4/17/2010 10:12:37 PM
So went out in this tini town i live in with another kinkster friend of mine..needless to say we dressed the part collars and all and shocked the town...hahaha was funny to see all the vanilla women gather and whisper..and we strutted in...watching all the guys smile and stare...giggle..i so love the if only i had someone to walk over to and show i am would be perfect....sigh...someday here i sit..home alone...unused and unowned ...writing my journal...sniffle....

4/14/2010 6:55:53 PM oh too funny moment...get an email ..kinda let off some bells and whistles ..but i figured who cares and gave him my yahoo...hahaha for it to be a guy i knew prob close to a year ago ...that is a total fake...basically a cam guy ...and i yes i learned the hard way the first time around..but he came clean and we just stopped talking..and he just emailed me again..with a new name and new pics...but same freaking i would forget that embarassment ever in my ya..he is still on here..and obvisiously forgot who i was..lmao.....

4/13/2010 9:23:15 AM
think i picked up a cold from someone on the airplane...sick as a dog..trying to do chemistry with a foggy mind...ugh...spent the whole day yesterday in bed...fever broke at least i wont miss class...but im hoping to be better for thursday i have a date....too funny actually..its with a guy i have been talking to online for a year and a half...but i always thought he was vanilla and i wasnt interested..he popped on to tell me about this girl that was wanting him to collar her...i about pooped myself..hahaha..long story short ..he is taking me out to dinner on thurs after not jumping the gun this time..i have done it too many times before...besides...i have known him awhile..kinda weird knowing he is as kinky as me...lolz....

4/8/2010 9:10:33 PM
thank you everyone with the wishes of encouragement and help...yes in a way i ask for it by posting my feelings on a few Doms a reason to hollar and belittle me..but it also gives insight to those Doms that really have a heart , besides a hand..and a chance to know how i feel..
i am a very trusting person and will always go threw life with rose colored glasses..i always see the best in people it what you like..some say nieve, other say stupid..but i will continue to meet and see how things go..many i have met are still in my life as friends..some..well i would rather forget..but with each one i learn a lesson until one day...i will find my perfect match...never will i loose faith in that...He is out there i know it..He just needs to find me...

4/8/2010 7:15:13 PM

Disapointed trixii will head home in the morning...home sweet home...back to my friends and not having to sit by myself in a hotel...this has been a strange but learning experience...Sir and i will remain friends...but we both desire different things....

4/7/2010 5:12:11 PM
Wow...what a beginning...and my first marks from Sir today...yummy...but alas no matter where i go drama seems to follow me...Seems as though Sir has a psychotic employee that likes to get into his account..she has been sending me im's and such...but it still doesnt change my mind about him...we will see how things the very least i have made a good

4/5/2010 6:37:14 AM
Hours...just Hours till i am on the plane...can't believe the time is almost here..Sir...soon i will be at Your feet, begging to be Yours..O/our journey soon begins..O/our connection has been fast and breath taking..

Soon i get to feel You touch, smell Your skin, taste Your kisses...please You in ways only a good slave could...Hours , Hours....till i am with You...

4/4/2010 6:15:58 AM
Happy Easter to all that celebrate..!! I am not Christian but i except everyones is a "family" day in this candy food.....and on the my mind today....

I fly in two days to see Sir !!!!!!!!!

yay !!!!!

4/2/2010 7:36:33 AM
4 days...most are happy today is friday..i am searching for tuesday..i long for Your look into Your eyes...hear Your voice as You say "good girl"..prove to You that Your collar should be around my neck...i desire to start the earn Your be Yours to use as You desire...please let tuesday hurry up and get here...:)

3/30/2010 10:02:53 PM

Talking about nothing and everything at the same time.
Excitement and a rush of Emotions as each day comes to an end.
How is it 7 days feels like a lifetime away.
i am like a small child at christmas time waiting for Santa to arrive.
When will the torture end?
i must focus..reach my happy place..
Where is it You say?
You know, that spot on the floor at Your feet.
Where i will be in 7 days..
7 days Sir , 7 days....
i will reach my happy place.

3/30/2010 9:03:41 AM
Got the tickets...!! i have never done this before...blush..i cant wait to see Him..what a wonderful week today and i will be on my way to Him....may time fly till i am on my way..then pass slowly i get every moment i can with Him....

3/28/2010 5:48:09 PM
days are filled of thoughts of Him...could this be really happening...have W/we both found each other..conversations that i never want to end..hours of talk about nothing/everything and smiling....similiaritys that seem never ending...all i desire is to make Him happy...i live to earn His day..He will see...i will make Him proud....

3/27/2010 3:54:15 PM
Trixii has a big smile on her face...because Sir has just told her to let everyone know she is *Underconsideration by Him*  if you wish to contact me you can do so threw Him...SirCranks...thank you...

3/27/2010 10:11:29 AM
afternoon..everyone..abit of quiet time for i am sipping coffee and writing here..last night was fun..laying in my big bed with my kids and watching movies...been along time since we did that..i love being mom...basically why im so protective..anyone hurts my kids..wrath of mom to reckon with...tonight i may head out with my friends..they were a bit upset i stayed home..but hey they will get over it..lolz..and there is always tonight to wreak havoc on the

3/26/2010 10:10:45 AM
Sometimes i worry about the reading level of the individuals on here...How is it im still getting comments like" you didnt say whether or not your child is male or female and if they are into the life" Ok....hmmm...i put off they not understand the meaning of that..omg...

Which brings me to this which i guess i have to add to my profile...i am looking for an intelligent i can have a conversation with and not feel like im hearing my echo...

Now as of my daily life...things are well..except i have a nasty sinus cold...and the weather wont make up its mind ..we have a dusting of snow...ugh.. it is friday so i may head out with friends..been invited for drinks and dancing...but im not sure im up to it...we shall see as the day wears on..spring fever hit my dogs and i went and bought one of those pully chains..they are hating more runs around the can almost hear them is this..hahaha...i live in town and they will run into traffic...and they are too old to be running around town cat is getting enjoyment out of teasing them...puffing up and going farther than the leash...bad kitty..lolz...other than that not much else going on so far...i may add more later..everyone have a good weekend..hugz and kisses ..trixii

so here it is friday night and i deside to stay home why...because my kids wanted family time...and what are they doing...sitting next to me on laptops...i give these days..lolz..

3/23/2010 8:31:40 PM
Ok..everyone together now..say "Trixii you dumb ass"..and here is why we are saying that...*note trixii is extremely afraid of needles* met a guy i liked..scened had a good time..then i go back to him to scene again..he ties me up..gag's me ..blindfolds me..and shakes a bunch of needles in a box...then proceeds to lightly poke me with them..ok..meanwhile...i am crying and scared to death..and he cant tell..or can i say a dumb ass....way too trusting...pain i can take..and he wasnt being harsh with the needles..its something psycho with me..i just hate them..and i let him know how scared i am...but he did it anyway..ok..THE ONLY THING I SAID NO TO !! he thought he could get me threw it and be all like.."see that wasnt that bad" ok..whatever..fuck..i almost had a panic anyway..venting..and i thought he could be the one...god im an idiot..

3/23/2010 2:21:16 PM
Look i will post this again...dont ask me the age or sex of my the begining stages of doesnt really child is off limits...i dont care if its 40..touch it and your balls will be mine...its a teen that is all you need to know...

3/22/2010 7:42:34 AM

Wow went to Ohio Smart sat...i have some lovely marks to remember the trip..:)....was definately fun and educational....went with a group of gals from my area..nothing like 1 vanilla, 2 switches, 4 subs and me (slave) two cars on a road trip to a bdsm club...It was awesome...and we plan on many more....unless of course i do find my One before then...i did end up getting spanked under the supervision of my friends...:) my cherry was popped....putting up a pic of my ass....i was bound with rope..first suspended then over a bench...Mmmm..

3/19/2010 6:37:15 AM

Venting my saddness house gets sheriff sold today...well it was my ex's..he let it go back to the bank..but some of my stuff is in that house still...i wasnt allowed in because im not on now i am going to have to pick threw their trash to get my things.../cry...

3/18/2010 1:43:47 AM
So last night was fun...made for a long trip..friends , beer, looking at all of the motorcycles and of course the men...wink..and to clarify something that a Dom jumped to conclusions to....i went to the bike show with friends and came home with sex involved...ugh...and this weekend is a meet and greet. i dont just jump in and play at a dungeon with strange Dom's are you kidding i hope everyone had a Happy St Patty's Day...and may no one else jump to conclusions without getting to know the person first...kisses and hugz...trixii

3/17/2010 7:36:51 AM

Happy St. Patty's...have a big day planned ...going to Cleveland to celebrate with a bunch of bikers...mmmm god i love this time of year...nothing like Dominate men on Harleys...blush....and i am excited for Saturday..a bunch of us from EPE are heading to Ohio Smart...(dungeon)  my first time going...i can wait to watch all the activities....sooo if any of You are near Cleveland on Sat...blush...

3/15/2010 7:44:57 AM
Happy Monday...phew ...mornings are rough..esp when its spring ahead...ugh..and Monday..what a killer...cant believe it is almost 11 am here already..damn where did the morning go....well im off to shampoo the carpets...wink..i will try and add more later..kisses to all..

3/14/2010 5:16:41 PM
check arrived my corset..well at least one i liked but not a good one..not much around here to of my swinger friends birthday was friday..had a  fun time with everyone at the gay bar..:)..all though nothing worse than seeing a man look better in a skirt than make you workout a little harder..giggle..

3/12/2010 5:00:23 AM
So sitting here sipping coffee reading emails...hoping my refund check arrives today like they say...i really want to go shopping for some corsets...i have been invited by some other subs to a dungeon in cleveland..and of course have nothing to wear...giggle..i LOVE corsets...but of course also favor the school girl sure what i will find...but all depends on my will see one little girl pout if it doesnt arrive...

3/11/2010 9:16:53 PM
Its been a rough exhausting week...glad friday is upon us..although i am currently in flood watch...but i guess its better than a winter storm warning..lolz..just on checking emails...and just to let everyone know...i read threw all my emails then head back threw them to answer..please allow me time to i am recieving an overwhelming amount...everyone is wonderful..and i try to respond to everyone...kisses and hugz...nite all...sweet dreams..

3/10/2010 4:53:10 AM
Wow..quickly reading threw emails...and i get one that tells me i would only be a fit if my child is a daughter and would be off limits until she was 18...let me  tell everyone...i purposely leave the age and sex of my children out for the purpose of the sicko's that want to take young children....number one kids will forever be off cross the line i am willing to go to protect them...meaning i will have your balls on a stick, desplayed on my front yard..18 or not male or female....everyone understand..?  Thanks...

3/9/2010 10:24:40 PM
ok after a long hetic day..i have some down time to write in my journal and check emails :)..Chem class was fun...i have a young guy that sits next to me ..i love to shock him with comments i for example..he was joking about being on "roofies" lol and i told him no the perfect cocktail was a mix of adderall and viagra = energizer bunny..lolz..he turned beet red and shook his head..lmao....then i head home to spend the evening with my teen...we went to a restaurant and spent some quality time talking then home to watch a movie...good stuff...i love being a mom..

3/9/2010 11:15:12 AM
ok.. a little rant here ..just venting so bare with me...talking to a so called Dom for a bit..i had a bad experience in a group setting and it wasnt pretty...he was a total ass about it..because i couldnt meet him for sex...mind you im not his...and we have never met in he desides to degrade me and be a total asshole about it...then continues to go on about how i was to meet this other slave with him and the three of us were to play..ok..where did i agree to that..i know i am slave and have no issues once collared but not just amazes so many feel that because they have a Dick..can throw around a few swear words and degrade women..that they feel they are Dominant...ugh...they have no idea the calibur of man it takes to be a Master or Dom...and he definately didnt fit the to the ignore bin he went..

3/9/2010 7:56:23 AM

Good Morning all...taking time from my studies...Chemistry..;) to write in my journal..eventful morning of running ..teen forgot gym clothes so i had to run and take them to i stayed up..did the house work and got in some studying..basically Mon - Fridays are pretty norm of study...housework...and running after my kids..chatting here and there online..and my day is complete...ah the exciting single life...giggle

3/8/2010 8:49:35 AM
Well all i can say is thank you for all the wonderful this is not my first profile on here...basically why i have put the adding to my profile part on the begining....i reciently got hurt by a lieing Dom...and it hit hard...i erased all my accounts and was going to give up the search....but in the end ...i can not deny what or who i i am back...a bit smarter...and definately more careful...but bare with my email inbox is nuts...lolz..and i like to get ready to hear some ramblings of my daily life..

xoxoxo  trixii

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