I am a submissive lost and afraid.....
Looking for closure.... or something to get through the day

I am a young lady....confused and distraught....
Who am I really.....yearning for in my thoughts...

Today is better than all the others....
But the pain is still real... Despite all the efforts.....

My scars show the struggle.... to love and be loved.....
my dried tears.....show that pain has never been ever so real....

And still....I cant turn my eyes.... I cant look away....
I cant help but think.... just maybe.... maybe,...
It will all get better some day...

So ill keep pressing on with my broken soul.... and train of thought.....
In hope that just maybe.... it wont all be for not.....

As I sit here and ponder.... im trying to figure out just why it had to happen to me.....
what ever did i do to you my sweet dear?.....

Gave you all your hearts desire.... a beautiful daughter..... and here i sit hurt..... and lost because at one time you were my protector.... my lover.....

and now..... now your my monster.... my abuser..... the darkness that comes over me......

I cant eat... i cant sleep.....im scared.....
and why?.....because i was too dumb to see the signs.... to dumb to see the truth.....
and maybe thats why.... maybe it was me....

Maybe if i didnt like what i do,..... maybe things would be different.... maybe my love would have been enough..... maybe you wouldnt of had to take it....

At this point its sink or swim.....

and i feel as though im going to sink......