Vertical Line



babygirlkitsune - photo 1
babygirlkitsune - photo 2
babygirlkitsune - photo 3
babygirlkitsune - photo 4
babygirlkitsune - photo 5
babygirlkitsune - photo 6

Please copy and paste this to your profile if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a smack upside the head. Lets raise awareness.
What do I want and need? Overall I want a Daddy of course, someoen nurturing and caring who isn't out to destroy my self esteem. One who is interested in touching my mind and emotions rather than just my body. Yes I am a little pudgy. I have a disorder called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which causes me to retain weight in the belly area. most of that however is leftover skin from when i was much bigger. But to the right One, my looks shouldn't even be the most important part. ANYONE can turn on the body. It takes someone special to turn on the mind!
To be perfectly honest, I'm better off going it alone. Not many have the patience or interest in dealing with someone who is emotionally and physically damaged. If you are just looking for someone to be a punching bag or to belittle, please look elsewhere.
Since I have been getting a number of people asking what I mean by my illness. Flat truth of the matter is I have been diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy, the left side of my heart is enlarged and failing, an inherited genetic defect. And Stage 3 Chronic Kidney Disease caused by the heart problems. I realize this is a turnoff to the majority. I cannot help genetic defects or the ailments they cause. I can only say the truth and hope that people will accept me for who and what I am.
Ok so i moved to new England. Truth be told i am in fairly poor health. I doubt anyone will want to mess with a girl who needs constant care, but here i sit, hoping anyway.
So at the request of one i s9metimes play with over skype, i tried somethong new. Vapo rub down below. The burn isnt unpleasant. It tingles and a very cold sensation. Tingly and cold. Now im twitching from it.
Death to valentines day, the most worthless holiday ever.
Alright, to those who aren't complete and total moronic dipshits, I apologize in advance for my language and tone but this has gotten out of hand so please excuse my rant.
If I say "I am sick, but will be glad to chitchat until I am well," That means, sure I'm willing to talk and shoot the breeze, get to know you as a person beyond the lifestyle while i can, but I would expect anyone with a brain in their head to realize "Ok she's sick so there's a chance she may be slow to respond or else not respond timely for any number of reasons, and  should understand that and be patient"
Unfortunately of late, the majority has been a bunch of self important dickheads that think talking to THEM and responding to THEIR mail and desires should be placed before my own welfare and health!
Sorry to bust your bubble asshole, but you will NEVER be more important than my own health.
No one is worth risking a trip to the hospital, or in some cases even the morgue, for. Period.

Thank you for tuning in to the CrankySick Redhead Channel. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

****Gets down off of soap box****
I just love my mom's outlook on life. Unless I'm literally dying on my deathbed there's no excuse to be in bed past 5 am or before midnight no matter how sick I am.
So sick. Stupid fever won't go away. I just want to cry.
Alrighty, did a bit of a profile revamp, wording it the best I could in my fevered state. Forgive any spelling or grammatical errors you may find, please, and bear in mind that this poor lil kitsune is working with a fever at the moment.
Let me see if I can explain this better since I get a lot of questions. Yes I am submissive. But I am extremely cautious and unsure of myself these days due to years of abuse, bad owners, and bad experiences. If I seem hesitant it's nothing personal. You wouldn't expect an abused dog to come running to you wagging its tail and trusting that you mean it no harm would you? Then how can you possibly expect an abused sub to trust you that fast?
Earn my trust, and you could however own one of the most devoted eager to please girls out there. But don't start off making demands and trying to intimidate me from the get go. That'll honestly just send me running the other way.
It would seem that no matter how i try,I am never good enough. I bend over backwards, doing the best i can, giving all i possibly can, only to be discarded when it's more convenient to move on to something younger/skinnier/richer/prettier.
Apparently I am no more than the disposable throwaway girl and can not aspire to be anything else.
Solitude suits me best it seems
Another holiday season alone
Ok just because I have a no nonsense approach doesn't mean no one should even try to talk to me....-sigh-
So I'm sitting here and this wannabe contacts me and as soon as I say that I'm careful and don't meet up right away suddenly all I get is "forget it bye" and am blocked. WTF is wrong with you people?!?!?! Are some so full of themselves that they can't stand someone who has a brain and pays attention to warning signs? Here's a clue asshole. It's BECAUSE of wannabes dickheads like you that people like myself are careful!!! Shit like that sends up red flags aND marks you as a troll/wannabe and dangerous. Learn wtf you're doing and respect when someone declines politely
Ok for the record if you don't like my appearance fine. You have ZERO right to mail me just to pick on or insult me just because I do not fit YOUR idea of perfect. Apparently many of your mother's never taught you the rule of "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all". You have absolutely no right to try and make me feel like less of a person because of how I look! NONE. Respect me and you will be respected. I get so tired of receiving hate mails from people who don't even bother to find out the facts. So I'm gonna spell it out here. I suffer from a hormonal imbalance called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Which causes facial hair growth and difficulty in keeping weight down. Educate yourself before judging someone else.
Yes I am feisty, sassy, and high spirited. No that doesn't mean I am disrespectful. I just happen to have a mind of my own and utilize it regularly. Don't like a girl who can think for herself? Sucks to be you if your house catches fire and you aren't there to tell her to get out and call for help. Think carefully about what you claim to want. Perhaps the mindless girl without common sense isn't looking so appealing now?
Ok so this guy mails me to rant at me about my religeous beliefs. Listen dude, you believe what you wish. But do not ever try to change mine.
why is there not one sincere person left on this site? just wannabes and players as far as the eye can see for me.
so i tried to walk away and not look back but part of me aches so deeply. Im miserable in the vanilla world, but so discouraged in this lifestyle. I just want to give up but cant seem to...
What part of "no" don't these people understand? I'm not sure what I'm looking for at the moment. But that does NOT give you license to push or pressure me. No means no!
Ok let me make one thing perfectly clear. My family comes first. And always will. Any Dom will have to understand he would always come second to my family.
Frankly ready to give up on this lifestyle. I just don't know how or if I can ever trust again.
No, I don't trust anyone. Not interested in bullshit or pushy individuals who think they can take advantage of the situation.
You know your life is pathetic when Saturday night turns out to be cold pizza and a book at 31
Who says cats are dumb? My tuxedo cat Athena always knows when I am sick or just depressed and lays on my side or butt to try and make me feel better.
So I sit here waiting, I talk to so many but each vanishes within a day or two. I am nothing but honest. Apparently honesty is not something they want. I can be nothing more or less than myself. When will I find one that loves me just as I am?
RIP : Prince, Chyna, Dolores, and Alan Rickman
in tears, please God just let me die.
i can't stop crying.
im shattered.
Can your gaze make me tremble?
a crook of your finger make my soul leap ,
a word of your lips make me burn?

really? i have now lost all hope for humanity.
yes i am a submissive with slave tendancies, but still i have some things that i need to have fulfilled for the perfect One.  While i enjoy the occasional rough play. there's a part of me crying out for a tender nurturing touch. A place i can burrow into and feel safe and secure.  The one for me will be able to TELL when i need to be wrapped into the soothing embrace and protected, though outwardly i may show no hint of it at all.  Inwardly i can be all but dying inside. The right one will be able to tell through the false smiles and put on brave face. Can you?
So tonight my dad busts out disturbing news, my brother is being allowed to move home placing me in very real danger, this jerk has beat me and broken bones but does anyone care? i get to live in fear.
Sitting in my new apartment staring at the walls. Trying to figure out how to get food
OK listen up. If you are the wannabe that thinks hard limits are something to pressure a girl into dropping simply because they aren't to your taste, or thinks that no girl should be ALLOWED hard limits...please pass me by. I don't tolerate wannabes who don't understand that hard limits are not negotiable.
I shiver with cold as I stare at the empty space beside me, remembering when it once held He whom I thought would be the one. Now vacant, a gaping void left in my world, acheing to once again hold the single bright gleaming light in my otherwise dreary existance. Where did He go? was he ever really there? Will there ever be... the one?
Not sure if I am looking for something anymore. Afraid to trust anyone else. Tired of the abuse. So alone.
So he smashes my laptop screen then Les to the police. They AND my parents believe him over me
Beyond depression. Everything has gone wrong. Hopeless
My entire world is upside down right now. If you are not serious about anything please don't bother. I have no energy for game players and jerks.
Getting wasted on French kiss
Wondering if that perfect Dom exists. My last one did nothing but belittle and criticize me 24/7. I just want to be me.
ACTIVELY SEEKING:Strong male Dominant capable of nurturing and compassion. Preferably able to relocate as i do have my own place.
All serious inquiries will be answered,
Some limitations do apply:
Not a fan of poly.
not into toilet play 
not interested in puppy, pony or any of that stuff.
I can handle some rough treatment though i do not prefer it all the time.
Any further questions will be promptly and efficiently addressed as received.
Yes I live with my ex owner. He has his own girl. It is my apartment I simply cannot afford to throw him out. I am not attached to him in any way. If this is an issue I am sorry, but it is the way it is.
I have Kik. Babygirl_kitsune
Tender words, rarely spoken. To a heart, so badly broken. Wandering the world so weak and weary, The clouds close in, my future dreary.
Angel of Music Speak, I listen.. stay by my side.. guide me....
A note to all the Hypnosis fanatics out there, please stop mailing me. Hypnosis does nto work on me. there is no way it will work from you any more than the last 10 guys who tried, so please dont waste mine and your time. I cannot be hypnotized.
alone agian of course, i feel so empty, ready to give up. at the lowest of low. no one will ever keep me
so what are my weaknesses when it comes to a Sir?
lets see, a big one is long hair, dont ask me why but i love long hair i can run my fingers through.
Also intense eyes make me melt.
Strong looking hands and a deep voice reduce me to a puddle of goo
if you have ALL of the above... probably no way i could resist lol
If you're looking for a punching bag, i'm not it. If being brutal is your M.O. im not for you.
If you can't understand that ... im sorry.

I know i seem like a neurotic nutball...
Maybe i am.
I just have so much fear... My own fears are my biggest flaw.
yes i will be afraid of you.
give me a reason not to run...
There comes a time for every person to know when they're beaten. A time to bow out gracefully. That time has come for me, much as i try to deny it. It is time to give up and walk away.

In my 12 years in this lifestyle I've tried so hard... but it's become apparent that i will never fit in or find my One.

Thus with a heavy heart, I take my leave. Wishing you all the best in your own searches, The kitsune lives no more among you.

Presently seeking a caring well rounded Sir with the patience to deal with a girl who possesses a rather skittsh nature, yet desperately wishes to please and serve. Also i apologize for any typos, my keyboard is trying to die on me.
Looking for like minded individuals who are into mmorpgs and play Star Wars The Old Republic.  It's just so much nicer to play with a friend.
Why must i endure so much suffering and loneliness? My hope is dwindling and my fire has gone out.
My life has a new theme song. Billy Joel - My Life
Would the sub males with bizarre requests PLEASE stop messaging me? I am not a Domme and do not wish to be.  But have been getting several messages like this:
"I will pay you (insert rediculous amount of money) to tie me up and do (insert bizarre action including things liek tieing person up and making mosquitos bite them or feeding them dog food)"
I am NOT a Domme and have no desire to become one. Please stop bothering me.
i sit and stare at the walls in silence,  wondering why nothing ever goes the way i hope.  nothing goes right. time to throw in the towel
What am i?

Alone I am nothing, a lump of clay waiting for the One who would care to take the shapeless meaningless mass of raw material,m and tenderly with a firm guiding touch, mold it into a masterpiece, a rare priceless work of art.

So who and what am I?

Now I am no more than that meaningless lump of raw clay, could you be the artisan who turns it into that rare work of art?
At your gaze, I lower my eyes,
at a word, my heart flies, 
at Your touch,i burn,
in your arms, i yearn.
At Your kiss, i melt.
For the love that is felt.
Your tender touch makes my heart swell,
for it is that guiding care, for which i fell.

Cradled so perfectly in the security of His hands,
never to fear, never to worry,
never lonely again.
Emptiness gone, Filled with purpose, creamy soft skin,
covered in tokens of his hands.
squirming in delight upon the floor, 
waiting eagerly for his touch
knowing deep inside 
i will never need to hide,
so perfectly encased in the firm gentle touch of His hands
Dear hormones,

I hate you.

that is all
Cold... so cold
Tired of fighting, tired of the pain, as i feel the shadows extinguishing my flame.
Please just let me die. im done, i cant do this anymore. theres no reason to keep trying.

My thoughts for today:


You know Ive done a lot of venting and ranting through this profile and journal and it's made some people think I am unapproachable but that just is not true.

I am a VERY loving and dedicated girl. I've devoted 11 years to this lifestyle. And while yes I've found my share of bad situations, I am wise enough not to let a few bad apples spoil the barrel.


On the one hand I love a Dom/Master/Daddy that is gentle and caring, sensitive and sweet.


But on the flip side I really love One who can be rough and a bit brutal at the same time.


No I'm not always brave enough to go through with everything, but I'm hoping to find One who won't let me shy away, but has the patience and guiding hand to help me overcome my fears.


So if there is a Sir/Dom/Master/Daddy out there somewhere seeking a devoted, affectionate and cuddly girl who can be a bit of a painslut at times, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Rant time


Ok I keep getting hateful mail from people that I don't even fucking know.


GET a FUCKING life you morons. You don't like me or what I have to say, then get the fuck off my profile and go look at someone else! I don't have time to bother with you weak minded morons who have no joy in life other than to run others down.

What  choose to do is MY business.

Don't like it? Dont let the door hit you in your fucking whiny ass on the way out!


Also if I'm in the videochat rooms and you are watching me on the cam, SAY SOMETHING to me rather than just inviting yourself to stare at me or i WILL boot you off my cam.


I've had it with people badmouthing me when they don't even know me!


Get a fucking clue you fucking losers!

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,


While you three were busy squabbling about the glass of water,

I got bored and drank the damn thing.




The Opprotunist

I wake up this morning and surprise, another day of agony as my tooth kicks in again. and no dental clinics have any openings for the next week or so.

It hurts like hell and I have nothing to take my mind off

Look guys, if you're not interested, fine! But don't sit here pretending you are, promising the moon and then disappear! It's not cool and it's not right. Save us both the wasted typing and leave me be if not interested.

A lone figure gazes out the window heaving a heavy sigh, blue eyes staring into nothing, leaning against the wall wondering if ever someone will come for her, or if shes forever doomed to being unwanted, unneeded, alone. A heavy heart weighing her very soul, as though filled with lead. Staring at a star and making her heartfelt wish.

late in the night, i feel a warm solid form against my back, hot breath against the back of my neck, i hear heated panting and feel a warm mouth against the back of my neck, i feel licking at the edge of my shoulder.


i wake and roll over my every nerve ending alert and tingling


my eyes open, my mouth dry with anticipation....







Porky stop waking me up you dumb dog ...



So cold. 3 blankets on and still shivering -whimpers-

Some say i am odd, and i dont deny it. I love ballet, opera, musicals and older movies, strange for one of 29 years i know but there it is. perhaps that is why i tend to click more with older Doms than ones my own age. I prefer older music, older tv shows. I love antiques and learning about history. Am i wierd? perhaps. but i am me.

What is this burning ache inside me, i dont understand it , i dont know what to do about it, ive fought for so long to keep my head high, but now all i can think about is crawling on my belly to the feet of a strong Master, laying at His feet, feeling His power over me. I think about it, dream about it, the thought sends a restless ache through my body, i find myself  weeping miserably as i think of it, craving it. I have no idea how to handle it. I feel lost, scared, alone... helpless. What do i do? Who can i turn to? i need help before i go mad.

i think ive finally figured what my problem is, im so darned afraid to trust anyone again that i pull back before i even begin. I have no trust to offer. Why should i? im not pretty, and i have little to offer you other than what you see. but at least im finally being honest with myself. my biggest impediment is my own fear.

OMG i am fuming, started talking to a so called Dom on here and things were going smooth, then suddenly he starts a rant about how all arabs should die, i CALMLY pointed out that my brother is arabic, and what does he say in return but that my brother should be killed. You hate racism but yet you condemn people you don know for being of a certain race? uh DUH? I'm fuming mad. no one talks about my brother that way!

I just want to go through one day, free from pain, nightmares, flashbacks and tears.Is that possible?

Just a little note, if i have viewed your full profile i am interested, however if i havent mailed you it is likely because i am a bit shy and honestly it is because i feel i am not good enough to plase you, so i dont bother. please dont be offended.

ok heres a question for all the Doms out there, just a little poll,



You're playing with someone and the sub in question is bound immobile, if during the session the sub/slave in question breaks wind, do you:


A: laugh and continue


B: end the scene


C: other (please elaborate)

i'm a lover, a cuddler. an out and out romantic at heart. yet what is more passionate and perfect love than that of a sub/slave in the hands of her Master/Dom? is there a more perfect love?

Ok rant time, don't like it? Suck it up buttercup,  a journal is for me to post my thoughts. You aint bein forced to read it at gunpoint. 


Now on to the rant.


WTF is up with all these so called Doms posting pics of their dicks as their main pro pic? and some where theres nothing BUT cock shots?


I mean are you such an arrogant narcissistic jackass that you spend all day staring at your dick? Do you get some kind of wierd pleasure out of looking at your own dick? Or do you think any self respecting sub/slave is going to see it and be like "ooh his profile sucks but hes got a huge dick, screw my inhibitions and red flags I want him!" or better yet maybe you think showing off your dick makes you a big manly man or toughguy, if so, reality check buddy.


nobody wants to see your wedding tackle within the first 2 seconds of meeting you.


Listen if Victoria can keep her secrets, so can you. 


Keep it in your pants boys.

One question, one chance, one honest answer. You can ask me one question (TO MY INBOX ONLY!). Any question, anything, no matter how crazy, dirty, naughty, perveted or wrong it is. No catch. But I dare you to post this on your status and see what people ask you!... My dare done! Now I dare you.

What is a kajira? If one wants the technical definition of kajira one would possibly conclude that a kajira is a female slave on the fictional world called Gor which is the setting of a science fiction book series written in the 70s by a man named John Norman.

But to those of us who truly understand it, it is so much more than a literal mumbo jumbo technical rambling.

A kajira is a complex creature, as a whole, worthless as a stray dog, but yet to the right Free Man, she is in her way, a precious jewel, much like a favored pet, so long as she minds the rules and obeys without question.

The Duties of the kajira are simple, even if sometimes they are not so simple to fulfill. Ravynn for instance, fullfills the latter of the following, but falls way way short of the former. a kajira's duties are nothing more or less than:
1. Exquisite Beauty (for this one a definate epic fail unfortunately)
2. Absolute Obediance

I think the following quote sums up a good portion of who and what a kajira is in the eyes of the true Gorean MAster.

The female slave, in her excitement and beauty, is an embodiment of sensuality, love, and service. (Vagabonds of Gor, page 260).

Thus the kajira is an inherently lusty, sensual, service oriented being who derives her own personal joy through nothing more or less than the sheer unbridled delight and joy of serving the Free.

The privelage of being permitted to serve, being her only true reward, though she wouldn't turn down a kiss or two or a good piece of chocolate either (wink wink hint hint all you smexy Masters out there)

In conclusion the Gorean Kajira is a complex beast, yet simple to understand all at the same time. As long as she does as shes told and is pleasing, her lot will be pleasant and enjoyable for the mostpart. Remember, we kajirae serve as if our lives depend upon it for one very practical reason! BECAUSE IT DOES!

These have been this slave's thoughts and words on what it is to be kajira, submitted for the approval of the Free.

She begs that the Free find her words pleasing and wishes both Free and slave alike well.

Humbly Yours

~La Kajira~

im not over weight im just under tall

the day i find an honest Dom who actually gives a shit about a girl is thew day i'm a cowboy

betrayed again. are there no REAL Doms on here? Ones that wont lie and tell me things they do not mean?

ok i have a serious question to all the Dom/mes out there. How does one go about handling a "damaged" sub/slave? Having been in the relationships i have been in over the years i have grown increasingly timid and skittish in the presence of a Dom/me to the point no one wants to bother. 

  Is it now just the practise that damaged girls aren't worth messing with? Or is there some way that such "broken" sub/slaves can be "repaired" to good as new again?


I meekly and humbly ask for any input to this from any Dom/mes that would be so kind as to reply with Their opinions.


thank You for Your time.

OK time for a rant.


I came on a few minutes ago to find this in my inbox:






2/28/13 9:17 AM  
  ill pay you 700 to tie me to a chair and force feed me nasty food


ok my profile CLEARLY states i am NOT Dominant. Why can people not read for god sake?

let me make this perfectly clear.



*steps off soapbox*

Thank you for flying Bitchyslut Airlines, here's hoping my boot to your ass left a mark so you remember not to come back.

in a girls heart is always that acheing need to be owned, taken, to relinquish control into His capable hands. To serve with no reservations. to gaze up at Him and see Him gazing down in stern , firm , but loving eyes. to see his pride in his girl.

This heart of mine,

such a small token,

so fragile and fine,

so easily and often broken

seeks the One to heal the pain,

To mend the wound,

rekindle the flame.

To hold close the shattered pieces,

and to smooth out the creases.

Who sees not some useless fool,

But inside, a tarnished jewel,

awaiting the craftsman whose skilled hands,

can polish it into the finest in the lands.

Yay broken wrist
No longer in new Mexico. Now in Illinois . Still seeking.

an empty meaningless existance...yay

I know Master Right is out there... Just where
In need of emergency safe house my former Master I'd throwing me on the street I'm in a panic
Feeling alone and depressed. No one notices.

If you are near Albuquerque, New Mexico and looking for someone for a casual encounter or just a friend for coffee, hit me up, I'm really looking to meet some new people to make new friends.

Feeling so alone and invisable, unseen , screaming in a crowded room but no one even looks up. where do i go from here?

what to say about today, it's a quiet day where i find myself longing for a strong pair of arms to curl into, just sitting and imagining the day when i finally find where i truly belong, when my search ends and the life i yearn for begins.

Someday i know He will call for me and i will run to him.

ya know, Ron White had the right idea, Cum should taste like chocolate, all the women would be chasing men down the street shouting "Get back here Willy Wonka, I want more of your Scrumdiddlyumptious Bar!"

Please excuse me if i appear normal
to the naked eye,
While i dream of my submission to you,
Perfect and complete.

looking hard for the One that speaks to my heart, are you out there somewhere?

sleepy, lonely, hungry, bored


no those aren't dwarves in some twisted Snow White parody ya doofus

deeply longing for some good rp

new rant :


If you cannot be bothered to speak clearly and use proper English then why would I be interested in you?


I take the time to spellcheck every single mail I send out.


Please, have the courtesy to do likewise.

Well my mind is made up. I am willing to relocate ANYWHERE within the continental US to the right Master after November.  so please Sirs and Masters dont let this one's distance deter You if You truly desire this girl. I have absolutely nothing holding me here. Please, hit me up if interested, will talk to any serious Doms.

After a long time of soul searching and thinking, mending and healing, I now know that I am truly ready to fully serve from the bottom of the pit of by very being, the word "no" being slowly chased from my vocabulary, and ready to commit my body, mind, heart and soul to the One who comes, whispering those three words that make every girl quiver with joy, "You are mine" I am ready to serve, but where is the One who desires unwavering devotion and obediance, who can see that a girl's beauty comes , not from her physical attributes, but from the genuine desire to serve and please.

since no one wants to talk, off to play wow

Does no one want to talk? at all? Ive been sitting here for 4 days straight taking the courage to go ahead and say hi to some people and no one bothers to reply. Whatever happened to saying "no thanks" or just making friends?

Done looking for what is hopeless to find. They talk and act interested then vanish. If you don't want me just say so. Stop trampling my heart.

Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting, if you don't mean what you are telling me, don't bother mailing me!  I absolutely refuse to speak to another liar or game player so if that is your intention get lost and kiss my ass.  You don't even deserve the courtesy of a reply let alone any respect from me. I am done blindly trusting people here, there was a time I would have given you the benefit of the doubt. Not anymore, prove yourself real or fuck off. To all the True Masters out there please forgive my bitchiness and language but it had to be said.




Thank you for flying Bitchyslut Airlines


Don't let the door hit you where the good Goddess split ya.


Have a nice day

If anyone in Albuquerque area is looking for a play partner etc, let me know, gets boring around here

A study has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire... No further studies are expected on this subject

how do i describe this sense of emptiness, hopelessness? life gets worse and worse i want someone tos top this insane roller coaster i want to get off. i feel like curling in a ball and crying, i want to go home but cant.  i want to go back to the days when i didnt have to worry about getting enough to eat. or having a home..i just dont know how much more i can take

Ever wonder why this girl would read your entire profile then not contact You?

Truth is i read it but am too timid to make first contact most times. I look at the pictures and think, yeah like He'd look at me twice, so in fear, i stay away. I dont know how to get over it, i guess its just because ive been rejected too many times.

I sit here staring at the screen, I fight and fight to keep my emotions in check but it does no good as the tears begin to flow, as the emptiness within slowly begins to envelop my entire being, so hollow, so alone, so hopeless. My heart grows darker by the hour as the fire that once burned so bright within me flickers one last feeble attempt to reignite itself before my bitter tears extinguish its light. Alone now, alone forever. Unwanted, unneeded, without value in the eyes of any, i fade into the shadows of life,feeling everything fade to blackness as i curl up, broken, perhaps beyond repair. Not knowing where to turn, having no light to see by, no rope or guiding hand to pull me out of this deep empty black pit of pure dispair. I Am Forgotten.

Why must my life be an eternal rollercoaster? i feel like ive been strapped in with a padlock and can never get free. When will that special Master reach out and pull me loose, and set my spirit truly free?

I want a Master so bad it hurts. To be a slave with no one to serve or care for leaves a huge gaping void in my soul.

someone please just let me curl up and die

Alone i wander through life. Wishing for someone to make it All seem right

Sure schools going ok, but im so damn lonely. at night theres no one to curl up with after a long day,.. my heart aches

Sitting in class feelin alone

Who am i really?


I know that I'm a loving caring girl that just wants someone to love and to love me back just for being myself. I love to read and watch tv and hopelessly addicted to being on the computer, i love to roleplay, the more bizarre the better lol.

My heart has been heavy for a long time due to bad relationships, though i wont point any fingers. I dont judge and I dont hold grudges.

Want to know more of me?


mail me, i never ignore anyone.

lonely and sad, wishing for the one

Happy Birthday to me
Well happy stupid birthday to me tomorrow

Will scene for smokes lol

For the record I've worked for a long time to get down as much as i am now, so stop judging me for being lazy! yes i was once almost 500lbs now im down to 225. So i think ive dome DAMN good at dropping weight. Do not judge me!!!!

Well found a roommate for now. Hope it lasts

i swear im gonna end up dead. im so terrified i dont know where to turn, my last hope is gone

Well now i only have my phone to use. Living on the street now. If u need me contact me via text. So sick today.

ok ok i get it ok? im fat and ugly why must you all keep sending me hate mail telling me that? Ive done everything i can to drop the extra weight but i cant. If you dont like how i look why dont you just move along instead of mailing me to remind me how everyone thinks im a fat ugly pig? Im getting sick of it!

life seems to get harder every day. im so tired lately, cant keep my eyes open most days. i do believe it may be depression setting in. really need someone to talk to to drive this sadness away.

Why is it that when people find out my living situation tey turn tail and run? Do they think I enjoy living this way?  Everyone has times when they get knocked down by life. Don't judge me just because life has dealt me a hell of a blow. im still the same person. just in difficult circumstances.

any Doms near Albuquerque want to hook up for coffee or something? I'm hoping i can find a nice Dom to talk to

so what is it i want, simple. a gentle yet firm and loving Daddy/Sir to make my innards quiver with the anticipation of serving him one who i would eagerly crawl across the floow on my belly to lick His feet, feeling His eyes uopn me knowing im His. Knowing so long as i obey and serve him well i need fear nothing, for His protection is guaranteed. it isnt easy to put it into words, and i know theres a lo of spelling and grammar errors here but im only writing as it comes from my heart paying no heed to grammar atm.

I am seeking a safe place to go, nothing expected, can provide own transportation costs, just in a big mess with nowhere to go, seriously in need of help.

Can you read past my poker face to see the pain within? Can you break htrough the walls to the broken person within?

...feels like I'm the worst person in the world...not good enough..always broken, unfix able!!!

I sit here thinking how Id love to be held close by a Sir or Daddy. My lil kitsune heart cries out for One to serve. So far all I get is people telling me how ugly I am :(

So who am I really? Let's see, I'm a true babygirl seeking a loving Daddy to complete me. My heart is full of love to share. I have a truly submissive soul. I know I will never be complete without a Daddy or Sir to love and serve with all I am. Someone I can gaze up at in pure reverence and adoration. The feeling that I am safe, owned, protected filling my heart and soul to the point of bursting. That is me.

Wondering why I even bother when every Daddy or Sir I start talking to suddenly vanishes off the face of the earth. About ready to just give up and stop trying at all.

Have met so many nice sweet Daddies on here so far, it's hard to say who is the nicest.Though honestly one in particular is definately in the lead

Good morning to all the sweet handsome Daddies and Sirs out there!

I goes nite nite now. Goodnite all the Daddies out there. 

*curls up with her blankie and pillows with a biiiig yawn afore goin to sleep*