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Really. .... wow ok that is a first |
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Thinking about going to sleep hoping soon the pain will stop and things will feel better soon |
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Missing my mommy really need her alot hope she returns soon |
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I think its over she promised to tell me if she wanted out and not just disappear on me but she did guess she didn't mean what she said ignoring me on purpose for 2 days this is exactly how things got started last time and i tried to do better but you blocking me was not right just wished you could've told me the truth i would do anything to keep you here with me but i can't force you to stay or to love me if you truly dont my heart hurts and is shattered it is hard to stay positive and hopeful when you're intentionally mistreated and hurt i thought we were doing better but i guess only i was really trying nothing i did was good enough or right for you i feel like the biggest failure and fool ever |
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I tried i give up nothing i do is right i always end up losing no matter what |
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*sighs* my heart is broken and ripped from my chest you never came back tonight to even say good night to me tears in my eyes i don't know what to do or where to go i only know i can't see my life without you in it my fears remain afraid that no matter what i say or do you will leave again and not say a word and this time you won't come back i keep holding onto hope that you won't leave and things will work out i wish i knew the truth and knew what was really going on but i guess i don't deserve to know or deserve anything but a broken heart and total chaos i love you with all of my heart and i have tried my hardest to keep us together but i guess i can't force you to stay or to love me if you really don't just wish you could have told me you wanted out and had no intentions on staying or working this out i guess the thought of things getting better between us was just wishful thinking.... |
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*sighs lowering eyes and head * |
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My heart is breaking as i don't know what i did wrong this time i just feel she left me again for no reason if she wanted to leave i wish she would've just be honest and told me but guess she felt vanishing without a word or trace was the way to go i miss her and love her wish she would've given me a real chance i tried my hardest to do better and thought things were getting better i guess not... i love you mommy please talk to me and don't go please i need you and love you please tell me what i did wrong i will fix it just tell me |
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*sighs* feel like i am an unwanted, unloved slave true love is always different with each person i had true love when i was very young lost it due to His illness then got it again recently and have had our share of problems but nothing that couldn't be fixed up until a few days ago and although things seem to be getting better i find myself at times still questioning and wondering and wanting to know where i belong now wondering if this is truly going to be something that can be fixed or is it too severe did i mess up too bad this time and there is no fixing or trying to stay together as much as i want her with me and to stay does she really and truly want to stay with me and work this out or are we both just buying time to keep from happening what looks to be the inevitable my heart will always be hers but if she doesn't want to stay i can't be selfish and make her stay i have to be strong and let her choose and learn to accept it... i feel the pain is too much for either of us to bare but I keep hoping things will be ok again maybe it is just false hopes only time will tell who knows |
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My feelings and emotions are everywhere with recent events things still seem to be up in the air to a degree no definite decision has been made still holding out hope my mommy will take me back... i haven't eaten in days i just cry and sleep too depressed to do anything else i feel so lost and helpless not knowing what to do or where to go at this point all i know is i miss my mommy and want her back sooo very bad but i know i must be patient and just hope and pray things will return to a new normal soon as i fear i will not be allowed to have back what i once had ever again no matter what i do or say...
I give up no matter what i say what i do or how hard i try to make things right and better i feel it will not make a difference and allow me back 100% of what i had so i say why keep trying i know i love her with all of my heart and that i am happy and content when i am with her but the sex is gone and who knows if it will ever come back i fear it won't but still holding out hope that i will get it back but the wait and torment are starting to take a toll on me and not sure how much more of this i can handle... |
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1 picture is up now finally if you don't like it too bad keep your comments to yourself |
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I miss my mommy i try and share a couple of new pictures with her and im not even sure if she sees them hoping she does and she likes them.. i feel i am falling into a deep depression with no way out |
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I guess its true what they say that true love hurts because ive gone almost 24 hours without her and the wounds still are as fresh as they were from the first minute she left me... we talked last night i tried everything i knew i could humanly do to show her i was sorry for hurting her but i guess we will see in a week if any of it paid off and she decides to stay but i fear she is gone forever and nothing i say or do will change her mind i just wished she would see the truth and realize that what happened didn't need to go as far as it did and again i am sorry i lost control but if i lost your love it would tear my world apart and i fear i have already lost everything... nothing i ever do is right everything i say to you is wrong i just want you back with me we belong together.... but it feels as i am writing this you probably won't see this and have decided to walk away from me without even giving me a chance to make things right... I love you mommy please don't leave your baby i would do anything i can to fix this if you will just let me.... |
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I can't eat i can't think and i can't sleep i need my mommy please mommy come back to me i can't live without you i need you |
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Well i was owned not sure if i still really am by the most loving and beautiful woman i have ever laid eyes on she is kind and loving but today i made the biggest mistake ever and posted pictures of her to someone because i lost control and let my temper get the best of me because i saw her block me for no reason so i felt the only way to try to get her back was to do what i did and that caused even more problems i love her with every fiber of my being and will do anything i can do to win her back i would not know what to do without her in my life and i am hoping she will see this and see that i am truly sorry for my behavior and find it in her heart not to leave me and work this out as i would never hurt someone on purpose like that i am not a vindictive person i love people and respect them until i am given a reason not to I LOVE YOU MOMMY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK I LOVE YOU AND HATE US FIGHTING.... |
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