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I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent you and I from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.
I will not try to manipulate you. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. I will not top from the bottom.
I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and expanding my limits. I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.
I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases you, and will do my best to fulfill your wishes and desires.
I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused. I am not a doormat nor do I have slave tendencies.
I will be responsive to you. I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist you in your responsibilities as my authority. I know that you are not a telepath, and will not expect you to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.
I will accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame on you when it is not warranted simply because you are the Dominant. I realize that things may not work out as they should at times, and will do my best to put it behind me and move on.
I will give my gift of submission only to those that can responsibly accept and desire to receive it. I will not place anyone in the position of Topping me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to someone that has not earned it.
I will be obedient to you even if I disagree with what you are requesting. I realize you have my best interests at heart and often know better than I what I need in a particular situation.
I know that my actions reflect upon you, and will do my best to help others see you in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease you.
Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honor. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in whom and what I am and will never show myself in a negative way.
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I am a sexual submissive and a masochist, and there is nothing wrong with that. But I'll be damned if I allow anyone to tell me what to do outside of work and the bedroom. If I cave to you and don?t assert my independence, I would wither away. I could never hand over complete control of my life. It is as if the more I trust you, the tighter you want the noose. Although the literal act of your hands around my neck arouses me, the metaphorical collar is too much to bear. |
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Some men just can’t stomach the necessary steps it takes to make a good woman great |
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While I was in a relationship, I heard people complain about the single life all of the time. Stories from my friends, articles on the internet, anything popular on television, it’s everywhere. But it wasn’t until I began to experience it for myself that I truly understood what everyone was complaining about. Everything is so damn complicated. Nobody asks you out on a date; they just ask you to hang out – so after you do, you can spend the next three days that you’re supposed to be ignoring them wondering exactly what it meant. Did you see a movie? Go to dinner? Have sex in your car? Fly to Paris and get drunk under the Eiffel Tower? Be careful; you guys were just hanging out. It was just casual, right? I don’t know, I wonder what he’s thinking. What did our car sex mean to him? I have a simple solution for those of you who struggle with these haunting questions: ask the other person. Oh wait, you can’t. Hahaha. And here’s why. We live in a world where people are afraid to feel anything genuine, or at the very least, are afraid to show it. When someone is angry with you, there’s no phone call asking to talk about it. Instead you get a passive aggressive response to a text message or a suspiciously relevant subtweet, quietly calling you out in 140 characters or less. If you like someone, you don’t tell them how you feel; rather you act interested enough for them to pick up on it, but not enough to freak them out. Don’t like it? Too bad. It’s all a big game and if you don’t play by the rules then you lose, and if you lose you end up alone and drowning in a pile of your own insecurity, wondering what you did wrong. Don’t ask to hangout two nights in a row. If you texted first last time, you have to wait for him to text you first this time. Don’t double text. You can’t assume anything is more than casual, even if you’re having sex. But you can’t talk about it either. If you’re wondering where a relationship is going and you decide to bring it up, every word you say has to be carefully chosen so as to seem okay with any response you’re given, even if you’re not. Everything is done through texting. It’s weird to call someone in the modern world just to have a conversation or try to make plans, so we’re forced to wait anxiously for a response that might not ever come. Everything is calculated to appear thoughtless, and it is one of the most exhausting games I’ve ever had to play. I could earn my masters degree with the amount of time and energy it takes to determine whether or not my casual hookup actually has feelings for me. If I like someone, I want to hang out with him. It’s as simple as that. Or at least it should be. But in the dating culture to which we are enslaved, it has to be more convoluted than that. If I talk to him too much, I’m needy. If I’m always free when he asks me to hangout, I’m clingy and have no life of my own. If he takes three hours to respond to my text, and my phone is in my hand when I get his reply, I have to wait to answer so I don’t seem too eager. And I am constantly wondering why I play these stupid games. Why can’t I call someone because I like talking to him? Why does showing I care make me needy? If I act angry when a guy blows me off, I’m just a crazy bitch, so my only other option is to complain to my friends and wade in anxiety until he finally texts me back. And let me tell you something; I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want anyone to have that power over me. No one should have that kind of power over anyone. I am so tired of living in a world where apathy is more effective in getting someone’s attention than honesty. I’m tired of the manipulative games that men and women play with one another in an effort to maintain control in a relationship that we’re not allowed to define. So here’s my idea: let’s all stop being little fucks. Respect other people enough to tell them the truth. If someone makes you happy, tell them. If someone inspires you, tell them. If you’re not interested in someone, please just fucking tell them. Don’t ignore people until you ghost them. It’s time we grow up and stop leaving people hanging with unanswered texts and cryptic social media posts. Everyone is human and we’re all just trying to understand one another in this messy dating world, so stop treating a relationship of any kind like it’s a challenge to complete. Be honest with other people about how you feel, and don’t get so lost in playing the game that you forget to extend that same courtesy to yourself. |
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i am wonder
i am joy
i am the sound of every ecstatic cry that has ever been uttered
i am the sound of every laugh that has escaped a throat
i am every song that has ever been sung
i am rapture |
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THERE IS NOTHING sexier than when adults respect each other enough to provide clear, enthusiastic consent to their partners. Verbal communication, boundaries, and respect are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship, whether it be sexual or romantic, and even more so when D/s is involved.
con?sent
kənˈsent/Submit
noun
1.
permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
"no change may be made without the consent of all the partners" |
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you should remember
people have given everything they own,
everything they are,
to be taken care of
and have their pain gone.
It's the lure of cults;
the promise of a good family;
it's what people think love is,
but love isn't absence of pain,
it's a hand to hold while you're going through it. |
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if i still have the ability to speak, if language hasn't left me, i will ask, please go harder; for i am an ouroboros, feasting endlessly, always filled, always wanting more |
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i am a lover of words
i like
what they do to my tongue
each letter
whispers its own tune
to me
when spoken together
a song
like love
how it opens the lips
extends the tongue
closes with a kiss
sounds hopeful
fuck, feel, fight, fun
how do you make
sex?
you fall short of gritting your teeth
you block the air passage
for just one slash of a second
these are raw
naked sounds
try them
the right words
when they hit the right spot
i lose my body
my heart
my poise
my soul
i am a lover of words
that's all i can say
i'm just careful
how i say them
and to whom
i say them to |
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I've succumbed to the absolute power of the man that pulls, culls, calls my unwitting submission. And I've embraced the power of my submission to draw him in further, to have him kneeling and worshiping that which he has concurred. I've known surrender and strength with him. That is my true freedom. |
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