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my phone is now going to be perpetually on low battery because of this site (don't play aloud where uptight folks can hear it):
http://www.limmy.com/ |
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people who've never had experience with polyamory (the sane kind -- not with batshit-crazy people) jump to all sorts of conclusions: that it means you can't have "serious" relationships, that you're into swinging/NSA/FWB, that you sleep around, et cetera.
none of those things are true by default, though no two poly people do things the same way.
for me, poly means being willing to develop multiple relationships, with feelings and depth and all the good stuff that entails.
...but it also apparently means that i'm not permitted to watch a movie at home all the way through.
srsly, guys... this is silly. sex will still be there at the end if you let me get all the way through Deadpool. XD |
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what Phish sounds like to people (like me) who don't like Phish:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNHIFM0Y87c |
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a mercenary friend of mine told me he's never worried by the loudest guys in the room. they're just thumping their chests. he pays attention to the veteran in the corner -- the older guy who's got a bit of a belly and looks like he's half asleep and paying no attention to the young pups barking all around him. that man knows how best to expend his energy and will lay you out quicker than the young dudes can say "trigger warning." that's the guy you watch.
often, a very silly person will approach me here with no other apparent aim than insult, as though he's the first person online ever to have that idea. utter waste of internet traffic, as would be any attempt of mine to tell him that. but i want to tell him, save your effort, novice keyboard warrior. you're in my house. i'm the one to watch. |
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my week, told through snippets of conversation from boys i know:
"Why duncha call me when you're slathered." "Can you make more coffee." "I will not run away from you again." "I'll be ready for any opening you give me" "Go make snow devils or angels and then leave turds around it" "You sound like a libertarian" "You like watersports?" |
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when it comes to men, i don't pay lots of attention to cosmetic details because looks have so little to do with what really interests me. (grooming matters, of course.)
but...
for the love of god and all that is holy... please, PLEASE wear boxers.
speedos, banana hammocks, tighty-whities... they are the opposite of sexy. |
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Godard in Fragments.
https://vimeo.com/154760619 |
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had sex on a Harley in the forest under a huge moon with the wind blowing like mad around us.
it rocked me. he rocked me.
it was exactly as awesome as it sounds. |
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d'i need to say it?
(Cubs win!!)
:D |
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bottom of the fifth. ohhh this is not looking good for Cleveland... |
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tied in game 6... i feel like they're setting me up for heartbreak tomorrow night, but damned if i won't be watching. |
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the last 10 minutes of Game 3 was nerve-wracking (and heartbreaking).
i'm never watching this stupid game again... until tomorrow.
le sigh. |
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here we go again.
lucked into two very promising first dates over the weekend. am gonna hold off on meeting any more new folks until i see what happens with those two. |
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poo -> disclosure -> paramilitary -> bug juice -> neoliberalism -> Foucault -> criticism -> black amex -> dinner -> taco trucks -> poo.
that just happened in my head. it's always like that up there.
subspace stops this trainwreck from happening.
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new plan:
when a guy hits on me, and i really want him to go away, i'm gonna ask him how many jars of pee he owns... i'll make it sound like the number better be high, or i'm totally not interested.
what could possibly go wrong? |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG1VVFfOnYQ |
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i see a lot of guys here and elsewhere online saying that they think women should always respond -- even if it's with "not interested."
in a perfect world, every woman would do that... because in a perfect world, every man could handle hearing it. |
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nobody. no. body. looks good in a newsboy. |
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https://youtu.be/NUC2EQvdzmY |
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i'm asked this often enough that i'll answer it here:
no, i don't want to be the primary. i don't care about stuff like that. if my needs are being met, why should i care?
i'm not in this position because i'm settling. i chose this. i'm not looking for someone to rescue me or to smooth over the bumps that you imagine must exist in my present relationship. i'm not looking for a promotion.
if you hear "secondary" and think "less than," you have fundamentally misunderstood what polyamory is about... certainly, you've misunderstood me. i'm not at all the sort to settle for less than what i want. |
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i need to find a(nother) man who can make me scream like Nate Diaz does. that was a pretty great fight. <3
#ufc202 |
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i'm a sapiophile, and there are only a bare handful of sapios that i've ...filed.
experience has taught that all the rough talk and bravado in the world aren't gonna budge me. it's the brain that does it.
this is not a challenge. it's not an insult. it's not a declaration intended to provoke. it's just a plain statement of fact.
a man looks at me and does not like my weight, my hair, my demeanor, my whatever... there's no point in getting mad about that or turning abusive. he likes what he likes. attraction is subjective. highly individual.
such is the way of things, and it's foolish to try to fight it. |
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if you turn insulting right after being told "no," it only underscores that i made the right call in the first place. |
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why is it that the moment i put on Coltrane, somebody's immediately in my face, trying to kill the mellow? |
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dear menfolk,
i'm liberal socially and politically. i recognize that there are strong, logical reasons for conservatism, and i respect that form even when i disagree. i can happily coexist with you in a relationship so long as you aren't the sort of person who talks about politics with vapid buzzwords, facile memes and not a whit of sound evidence to back your words.
if you insist on being a turd about this where i must hear it, i will take you down, point by heavily referenced point. i will dominate you with reason and logic until i own your sorry, myopic ass. i will hit you so hard with reality that your mother will feel it. i swear to whatever fickle god you worship that i will do this thing. i hate arguing. i will not enjoy it at all, but i will do it until you cry, and your tears will be delicious.
love and kisses,
d~ |
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i wasn't planning on screaming tonight, but UFC's on. |
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...somebody accused me of faking my nerd cred. that's some all-caps-rage-inducing shit right there. lest you make the same mistake (deep breath):
first off, i know the difference between a nerd and a geek, and i'm both. i was reading at two and onto things like Hesse and Shakespeare by nine. i lettered in academic decathlon in high school -- on the C team because i was a slacker. one year i actually had to fail a class intentionally (anatomy & physiology) in order to keep that spot. i'm a fangirl for science -- particularly neurochemistry and physics, which admittedly sometimes fly way over my head. i like XKCD, The Oatmeal and Dork Tower -- though i don't much like Munchkin. i've played a lot of titles from Reiner Knizia, Steve Jackson, and Rio Grande Games and forgotten the rules to more board games than most people have ever heard of. (i even designed one of my own.) i pay attention to Ars Technica, Slashdot, Vice, Gizmodo and a dozen other publications relating to politics, science, technology and culture. was never a comic book nerd, but i watch Gotham, Arrow, The Flash, Daredevil and Jessica Jones, and i knew and loved Deadpool years ago. i loved Firefly and Battlestar Galactica. i even liked Caprica -- don't hate. my favorite movie is Blade Runner and has been ever since the moment i saw Pris' raccoon eyes. don't really dig anime, but i have a soft spot for the old Aeon Flux series on MTV and for Boondocks -- the kickball episode... come on, it's killer (h/t to Domboston for the heads-up). i think it's really funny that Domo-kun has become so popular here. i like Venture Bros., Squidbillies, Archer and Adventure Time. i know that Cards Against Humanity is just a dirtied-up version of Apples to Apples, and my friends don't need the extra help. that said, i really love those games, but my favorite is still Hex Hex. i know /b/, Rule 34 and :Kappa:. i know what an infinite loop is. i played the original Hitchhiker's Guide game, though i did not play Zork. i remember telnet. i can grep. i quasi-legally borrowed a unix account to run a MUD that i IMPed for back in the day. i hum the "Tro lo lo" song at random. i drop quotes from Red vs. Blue. i bumped into Wil Wheaton (and didn't lose my shit) outside of True Dungeon at GenCon SoCal years back: when my ex and i split up, the True Dungeon tokens were part of what we divided. i play D&D six times a month, own more polyhedral dice than god, and am on a first-name basis with multiple game shop owners in three states. i have a sizeable M:tG collection in storage. i play at least one MMO a little each week (and have been since DAoC), but i really cut my teeth on Doom, Duke Nukem, Quake and Hexen. i knew about Day Z back when it was just a mod for Arma 2. i've played Minecraft modded and unmodded, but i found its predecessor (Wurm) way more challenging. i have a Steam account to which i give money in exchange for awesome indie games that i never play. (if you know Steam, you know that feeding it money when it tells you things are on sale is what it's for... and maybe a little Portal and Binding of Isaac.) my mouse has 17 programmable buttons, and the W has worn off my keyboard.
...i'm not faking.
i'm also comfortable enough with my status that i can admit to hating both Star Wars and Felicia Day. they're both horribly overrated. yeah, that's right. i said it. suck it, Blue.
(exhaling)
and oh, and i have a Tumblr page where i post things about any and all of the above, including my experiences in kink. if i like you, i may share the address.
bottom line, if you don't like nerds, i'm probably not the girl for you. i don't discuss these things all the time, but i don't conceal them, either. |
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id="tw-target-text" class="tw-data-text vk_txt tw-ta tw-text-medium" style="text-align: left; height: 72px;" dir="ltr" data-fulltext="" data-placeholder="Translation">όχι δεν μιλώ τα Ελληνικά.
(with thanks to Jiovanov for the assist. :D)
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jesus telemarketing christ. my profile doesn't discuss my hopes and fears or what i had for lunch yesterday. it contains the information necessary for meeting. if you can't be bothered to read that, why would i want to talk to you? |
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if the guy i met recently wrote a book about how to attract smart women online, you'd all be drowning in pussy. |
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in this moment i don’t want to be special. i don’t want to be tidy and together. i don’t want you to try to understand me.
in this moment i want to be the vessel. the object for use that just also happens to be a happy, consenting partner in her undoing.
undo me. |
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yes, you're a strong dominant. i get it, and i appreciate that fact. but please, for the love of whatever, form paragraphs. sadism should not extend to grammar. NASA can see that wall of text from space. |
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i don't think i really grasp what's thrilling about sex in public. the idea is that you're engaging in some form of activity that potentially involves members of the public seeing you unexpectedly, right?
from my perspective, that's basically involving people in your activity without their consent. could be that you bump into nobody at all, or that nobody who sees you objects to it. there's no way of knowing that until after the fact, though. yuck. |
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== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Submissive
99% Bondage receiver
76% Masochist
68% Primal (Prey)
67% Slave
65% Degradation receiver
64% Pet
59% Experimentalist
55% Brat
40% girl/boy
25% Non-monogamist
25% Voyeur
12% Exhibitionist
12% Vanilla
3% Ageplayer
0% Dominant
0% Owner
0% Degradation giver
0% Master/Mistress
0% Brat tamer
0% Switch
0% Sadist
0% Primal (Hunter)
0% Bondage giver
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% All-Rounder
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.?id=390860 |
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if you don't know how to switch off the dom persona long enough to have a simple conversation with someone you don't know, then you're not a dom. you're a bully. |
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i'm not here to chat. get to the point, please. |
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a couple of nights ago, papa ordered me to ride his cock while he toyed with my nipples. last night, he flipped me on my belly unexpectedly and pounded me with one hand swatting my ass and the other pulling my hair.
this is more or less the norm for me in this relationship. when i say that i'm not here looking for sex, i mean it. i'm being seen to. maybe that'll change at some unforeseen point, but for now, i'm good. really. now if only the thirsty guys who like to spam us would take the time to read that... heh. |
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consensual nonconsent. this fantasy does not include violence, pain or fear. it’s about overpowering me physically and then winning me over… he's got my body, but not being content with just that. he has to get my mind, too.
it starts with me asleep in bed. he enters and immobilizes me before i’ve really got my wits about me.
we are absolutely going to have sex; he makes that clear. but from that point on, it’s a seduction, because he wants me to want it.
it’s the ultimate cold call.
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despite being a blindingly white girl who does on rare occasions enjoy a coffee from Starbucks, i think this morning might be the first time that i can't even. |
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"And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people." --Caitelyn Siehl |
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doing plug training in sort of a slow and lazy way. of necessity that's going to involve some time when papa isn't around to make it more fun, but it'd be much more entertaining if he were. bleh. |
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my goodness... i seem to have touched a nerve lately among men who are involved in ostensibly monogamous relationships and are looking to cheat.
why all the fuss? as far as you are concerned, i'm just a collection of bits in the aether. and while i choose to avoid men who are cheating, you certainly don't answer to me. i don't comment much on it, but what i think about your relationship choices shouldn't really matter anyway. |
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i'm an INTJ female. my kind is approximately 0.8 percent of the population. i'm not anyone's "standard" anything, darlin', so you can put your mind at ease. now run along, and pester someone else.
(i spose this really ought to have been direct mail to the crabby man in question, but it's here, so meh.) |
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my ass is pink. that's what i get for saying, "neener neener" to papa when i'm within his reach. XD |
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we all have needs... that's why we're here. if you're not local to me, you can't fulfill my needs. simple as that. to suggest otherwise indicates a very basic flaw in reasoning.
some of you seem to feel that this makes me closed-minded. i don't see how that adds up, but if it's true, i'll learn to live with the shame. i promise. |
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Kink Site Messaging Tip #47:
you're learning a new language? brilliant. it's an excellent thing to do. however, you can't really hope to dom effectively if you don't speak any of the same languages as the sub you're contacting.
if you tell me (as one gentleman did today), "a slave must wear for me nylonstockings garter bellts suspender 7 inchs highheels or 7 inch highheelpantolette with small heel and no anymore bra and panties," i'm going to get a fit of giggles because of the Engrish. silly-sounding language cracks me up; i can't help it.
yes, i realize i'm probably going to hell. i'll save y'all some seats. |
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if it's not already abundantly clear, i have zero interest in flirting with men online. i'm a female gamer, and i've been operating in online environments since 1993. i'm soooo over talking about sex in this medium. there is pretty much nothing you can say to me here in that vein that i haven't heard at least three times already. no, really. |
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i pretty much assume that guys who include their naked junk in their profile pics are getting most of what they want when we see it. |
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what's with all the profile pics turned sideways?
Jesus Telemarketing Christ... my eyes. |
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oh noes! a random dude on the internet sent me mail only to insult me. i guess now i need to languish in a wretched puddle of doubt and self-loathing. or something.
clearly he's not been paying attention.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44 |
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i don't accept friends requests or chat requests here. no exceptions. no, really. |
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humiliation play has come up a few times. for whatever reason, i don't seem to be susceptible. there are plenty of things that i don't like, but i don't see them as shameful or degrading. this interests me. i assume that i must have humiliation buttons to be pushed, but i don't know what they are. i'm interested in testing this with the right top at some point. i don't know how much fun that'll be for you, though. it may be a bit like poking a wall. |
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i do love when a 300-pound man talks about putting me in my place because i hurt his feelers. he's never seen my place and never will. his, i suspect, is decorated by Dunkin. boom. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44 |
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the BDSM quiz: http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poeticthinker/do-you-have-an-inclination-for-bdsm/
my results (not exactly shocking):
- 100% Submissive
- 86% Masochist
- 71% Bondage
- 71% Sadist
- 50% Exhibitionist/Voyeur
- 29% Vanilla
- 21% Experimental
- 0% Dominant
- 0% Switch
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it's of necessity, of course, because it must happen in the right time and fashion... but who ever thought it would be so difficult for a girl to get a little rough treatment? |
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him: [not local to me, compliments my pic, wants to talk.]
me: i'm glad you like the pic, but i'm looking for something specific. it's in the profile.
him: what u looking for?
me: ... |
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so many doms... so little "scene." i can tell you, gentlemen, that i'm getting laid regularly and well... sex is not why i'm here. i'm here for play -- to pick up with impact play again and to explore other things that interest me. that means scene... hopefully hours of it on a regular basis.
if play isn't of primary importance for you, save both of us some time... a few smacks on the ass is not gonna do it for me. |
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i'm really pretty good at silencing the editor in my head when i'm not working, but every so often, i'm hit with a message that just makes me cringe. can a girl get a little punctuation up in this bitch?
"i want to control every inch of ur body and also enter ur life and control each thing in ur life not only sexual if u really want this chance i will give to u and u will see"
this is no doubt nitpick-y of me, but if you want command of me, you need to demonstrate some command of language first. i don't expect perfection, but when your first message to me is so weighty, i don't think it should look like this. |
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it kinda fascinates me how often i get spammed with the same opening line from guys i did not encourage the first time they approached -- typically it's guys looking for cyber. i guess if you're sending enough messages to forget that we've spoken, i shouldn't expect you to be original each time. |
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given what's in my profile, these messages crack me up: "Hi, read your profile, can we talk on Yahoo?" |
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some men take umbrage because i address not wanting to date a married man who is operating in secret. i'm not gonna assume all women here look at it the same way that i do, but guys, i could not be less interested in lecturing anyone about fidelity. that shit is your business. i file it under "not my problem." what (some of) you don't seem to get is that being the girl on the side means dealing with extra shit that we just plain don't have to deal with when dating a single guy or a guy who's poly. simple as that. some people find the sneaking around exciting. if that's you, hey, great. more power to ya. really. i just find it annoying...taxing on me above and beyond what an ordinary relationship would be. if you somehow warp that to mean that i'm ranting about married men or judging you for your choices, that's on you. i'm not judging you; i'm saying that your choices in this instance come to bear on me in ways i'm not willing to accept. if you're among that pushy and pig-headed group who insist that that's not true... tell me: how often are you free to meet during non-business hours? ;P |
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don't say "classy." it's an awful word. if it needs to be said, it's lacking. |
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what is this "gift of submission?" that term bothers me. it commodifies my basic personality trait and suggests that the dominant offers nothing equivalent. submissives are not special simply for being submissive. dominant and submissive are parts of a whole. neither is more important than the other. we enter into that sort of an arrangement as equals, even if the desired result is inequality. we form that agreement as equal, consenting adults. the submissive can either be an equal, consenting adult making decisions based on her own wants and needs, or she can be a delicate snowflake incapable of arranging her life. she can't be both. and if she's the latter, then consent issues abound. |
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just had someone send me an opening message of - no exaggeration - an unbroken wall of text almost 49,000 words long. one paragraph.
does anyone really expect that that's going to be read?
since i edit for a living, it's doubly painful. no breaks, lots of errors.
horribad. |
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what you say: [angry internet random's insult after i tell him no.]
what i hear: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44 |
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a few tips that might make you more successful with women here, culled from my recent experiences...
- don't send me a chat request out of the blue and then be angry when i decline. my browser rarely has just one tab open. (FWIW, i don't chat.)
- don't send me an introductory message and then send another a few minutes later, telling me that you've seen that i read your first message and should answer you. that's just weird.
- don't open with "I want to fuck your face," or "You look like the kind of girl who has a rape fantasy." just don't.
- in fact, don't talk about sex at all. really. it doesn't need to be discussed from go. if you have nothing else to speak to me about, you and i aren't going to get along.
- read the profile.
- and realize that the odds are small from the start. it's straight statistics; that's not about you. no matter how nice you are, no matter how much you match up, the person you're contacting is just one person with a life, and schedule, and limited time and interest in talking. persistence is not always a virtue.
maybe i'm the odd duck, and other women respond well to this shit. no clue. and it seems likely that the people who most need to read this won't. good gods...it's been a freaky few days. it makes me so thankful that i've been so lucky previously. <3 |
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okay, sorry to cut and run, but the game calls. don't be surprised... gaming is my longest love, if not my deepest. i'm never away from it for long. |
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the autoresponses for mail here are genius, if kind of cheesy. but a moment of funny: i mistook "Too Far." they're referring to distance. i was thinking "you're over the line." i think my version is better.
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i'm getting a lot of questions about age - how old is too old? it's really about shared context, so let me give you a cultural reference off the top of my head: do you like Louis CK? if you don't like him, there's a fair chance you and i aren't going to get along...not because he's particularly important to me, but because that style of humor is kind of a mark of the times. i'm a sharp personality. if he bothers you, chances are i will too. |
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