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Well Hello there !
How do You do this evening or day ?
I am told I suck at filling out the about me section, and my reply is simple. Im an Aspy its all about the facts.
. I mean sure I can blow loads of sunshine up your ahemmm....... but that is just fluff.
I am perfect for Dominatrix Mistress.
The more structure the better I will per, and feel free to correct me if I am whrong but a servant who can and will per at peak perance is worth 100 x that of a servant who speaks 50 and gives 50.
I am extremely service orientate, and gain the most satisfaction in knowing I have pleased who I may be serving.
As for what I enjoy .only if you wish to know otherwise skip till you see the next big break in lines. .
Extreme fisting I have had 2 arms elbows deep.
A foot inserted past ankle.
Mummification
Sensory depression,
Trust play
Cuckolding
Chastity.
Electrical toys violet wands
Pegging
Watersports.
..... list is a mile long. ..
Have held over 1 gallon COLD of water.
I enjoy chilly powder and clove mixed into fisting lube .
My unit works very well, tho I had a chemical burn when I was younger it left me with a lack of sensitivity.
So organisms are 98in my head.
. I have been an educator and can tell you the difrent esual spots on a ladies body are located and what needs to happen to trigger them. . IE.. the Grfenberg aka G spot, can only be accessed once the shaft of the citrus has become erect want more detail. Ask for a class. .
But thats just 1 of the 4 spots within the pelvic area .
Lets not get into blood flow simulation.....
And yes I am a ultimate submissive since a young age I have studied the female orgasm to ensure that whoever I end up belonging to would hopefully find me worth keeping past old age. .
I am a artist and a bird dad. I have 3 father babys and I snake.
I am big into the goth seen.
.
Most of all. I am BIG on keeping words spoken.
I want love. To be loved. To give love.
I am just wired different so I need to have it shown to me in ways others may not understand.
And who cares what others think as we walk down the street shock collar and leash around my neck.
I am, 6ft4 and abit over 200, and tho I never want to hurt anyone. I have a background in Tia Kwan do , several s of kungfu, grappling, and a professional boxing record. .
.. I dont like to fight . And will only do so if there is no other out.... and anyone questioning.
I faught for CKP , and registered with both California and Nevada state athletic commissions.
Out of lake Los Angeles CA, Direct Current Boxing.
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Wow, it has been along time since i posted anything.
1st i am still alive.
Next month will mark 7 years since my last D/s.
Not even sure i would be a good slave or even sub anymore to be honest.
So much has happened and tho i retain allot of who i was, who i am is no longer known.
I am damaged. And tho i would love a relationship , i dont need another setback in my life.
In 2020 i was forced to rehome my 3 birds,
And June this year i was able to adopt a new baby bird, he was 3 months only when i got him.
.
After some of the events to have taken place my brain is noticeably not the same, and i am learning how to do a few things again. |
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Getting tired of life.
All I have is my 3 birds. Bills . And lots of time alone.
.
Life.. work. Sleep. Pay bills
Work . . And spend time training my birds.
I am a good man. Great slave. But
Yet some how. Alone in life.
So tired of life. So tired of waisted time.
ONLY if I knew my birds would have a home that would take care of them like I do. And love them as I do. .
.. only if..
So tired of life. |
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Well. I got my 1st real message tonight.
And before I could reply to it.
There account was deleted .. :(
Well.. back to playing "wack a mole" with the bots. |
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Wow the bots are getting agressave..
I am now getting slammed with slave and sub accounts contacting me..
Roflmao.
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How to identify a scam.
1st. They will not verify their identity before asking for something.
Second. They will attempt to get you off of this site and to sign up for another site.
Third, the phone number they gave you is a text messaging service.
..
3 easy ways to spot a scam. |
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This is a True story that was lived by me,
this story don't have a happy ending .... as of yet. Be warned.
Greetings.
my name is nox, i have had involvement in bdsm since i was 16, and i am now at the time of writing this 35.
Growing up in a emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive environment helped to make me the slave i am today.
i have served 4 Mistresses, 1 of them was an amazing person who helped me to grow tremendously into someone who can be respected as a person in day to day life.
She was also my 1st Owner. and that relationship lasted for the better part of 5 years. when we split it was agreed by both that we both where looking for different things and where not a good fit for the long run. W/we split in good terms .
my next owner, was one who was Stunningly Beautiful younger than me by 2 years. yes seemed to have experience beyond Her years.,
i was Her Lover, Life partner, Best friend ,protector, Pet, and slave.. the word NO was never spoken to her as a reply to a request or demand. I always had the Utmost when speaking to Her, and She made me feel Loved for the 1st time in my life.
this was not the same as me loving someone in the past, . No , for the 1st time i was 100%willing to die for someone. Nothing She would have asked of me would have been to much . She was working with me and Hypnosis for about 6 months helping to rid my anxiety of uncontrollable things. "not going into detail " But part of that was when ever i felt unsafe or alone scared so on, I was to think of Her face, Her love, Her hands holding me. the Joy i brought to Her life. and to hold my collar and remember that i was OWNED, and not going to be thrown away or abandoned.
it worked. but for as amazing as Our love was, and No matter How much i loved Her or what i did for Her, She had Her Own demons . She Lost lost drive in the lifestyle i was told. She told me she was Not able to keep me due to feelings of suicide as She felt unworthy of my love. or a slave like me.
This tore my heart out. But, i did as She asked and i packed up and moved out onto my own. 3 days later She was posting Pics of Her new BF, She was warring a collar. then she posted pics of Her and him at Our old Wishing spots in Sedona AZ. . Those spots where in my mind Holy. and Dhe is posting pics of Her New love and Her Making out there. this was crippling. i no longer felt hunger or thirst. all i felt was pain. i never sobbed like that in my life. and in 2 weeks time i went from 215 LBS, down to 165. I am 6ft4". a friend forced me to eat. made me smoke some pot and eat dinner with his family. or else he was going to take me to the Hospital.
by that time next year i went up to 320LBS. was always watching Her profile for a sine She wanted me back but Watched Her do the same thing to the new love she just left me for. and in his posts he was saying the same exact things i was. he had NO clue why she needed him to go or why she hurt so bad. and that was when i started to heal . as i knew i was not the problem. and i did nothing wrong. She gave me the collar when i left. and 1 year later i cut off my hair, and used it start the fire that was to melt the collar . and i did so sobbing with a heavy But easing heart.
I found out 2 years after our split that She was telling the people we both knew that i had beat Her and was abusive to Her and that's why She told me to go. But that was 100% a lie. however, She would also contact people on my Facebook and fetlife telling them such things. i found out from a female friend who forwarded the email she was given. .. i was in raged!
Each night i still dreamed of Her. and would wake up with a wet pillow from my tiers. about that time i was introduced to MZ, She as my former Owners Mentor.
Mz told me this was nothing new for my former Owner.as she had a history of doing exactly this same thing. and is why they are no longer in contact or good standings.
since MZ, has shown me kindness and has Taken me as a understudy . and has also stepped up to be my Protector. . and She has Dun more for me than i could ever ask.
5 years of being alone and single, i meet an amazing woman , we shared so much in common. and we began a Ds. i will admit, it took my heart time to open up to Her but it did. and it was amazing. We had play partners, She was Bi and i was able to keep Her and Her friends vary satisfied. i felt like "THE MAN" and everyone in the area i was living did admire what W/we had going. Then She brings in MJ, MJ, was allot like my x from at that point 7 years prior , My current owner seen that, and Was happy, However. MJ drove a Wedge . told me things that had me questioning my owner. had my owner questioning me. . MJ was playing us against each other.
with in Months, i no longer was Collared to MsO. and was Collared By MJ., MsO and i where not on speaking terms. Mostly due to me being told I was Forbidden to .
i was kept Tethered on a 50ft steal cable 1 end attached to the steal foundation beam for the house. and the other to the Titanium collar Locked onto my neck. i was Captive. and once more i felt LOVED, i felt no fear or anxiety . i cooked cleaned , carried Her things, and did all She would ask of me. when we would go out. i was kept on a leash. even to nila places. for 3 months i was kept like this. and had no clue that i was about to be devastated once more.
MJ had a fight with Her roommates and was Moving out. . but i was not to come with Her she was Moving in with a creepy guy that wanted to have a leather family with us 2 days after meeting us. he had a nice Loft down town on the 20th floor. and i could only offer to work and pay for a hotel for us. She abandoned me at the house . Her former Roommates had to Saw the collar off my neck . and in 3 days time, i re homed my birds and sold everything i owned for 900$ and got on my motorcycle and Drove across country in the middle of November.,
2 years has passed since this .and for 2 years i was Homeless. i attempted suicide 2 times outright and every chance i got on my bike i pushed the extremes of what it could do . i did not fear riding in the snow rain or hail. my anxiety was hitting hard and all i kept doing is thinking of the faces of those who i loved .
and here i am today. i am left with a few ticks from my attempts. Hopefully they will pass.. but i am told they may never .
I am looking for a new Owner. but i fear it. I want a new collar, but i am hesitant, and tho i am searching i am not going to Jump on just anyone who offers, Nor have i.
for i rather be alone or dead than hurt like that 1 more time in my life.
and here i am . alive. i feel insecure, alone. and scared at night. i sleep with a gun under my pillow now. and long for love. but don't trust anyone at face value anymore. .
i am damaged. so now i look for those who are partial to kintsugi . the art of finding beauty in broken things. |
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Noodle Dragon Challenge.
You will need around 40 packs of Ramon Noodles to begin.
Fill a backpack with them.
Set out and Hunt !..
Your target prey. The Homeless and Hungry .
Each Person You hunt down give them 2 packs of noodles.
If they offer You a Hug or handshake "You Must Take It."
Then back to hunting for more. Continue till all noodles have been handed out.
This is the challenge. Do You accept ? |
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THE REAL DEAL.
i am as real as it gets,
when i offer someone my service and say i expect nothing in return. i mean it.
i am not looking for play a relationship or sex. when i make a offer to be of assistance . \
Yes, i do have a motive to meet the set person and establish a dialog that may or may not lead to other things such as friendship....
being way out in BFE sucks ! i cant lie.
but the way males are looked at out here is rather disturbing,,,
some people just wish to do nice things ..
and i am one of them .
i am one to help when needed, or asked. and there is a good number of people who will back this comment. .
i will even offer to help, if i think may be of use.
so ya.. this is selfish .. i have a need to please and to do selfless acts.. . simple as that.
i have others.. but.. those are all locked away till the time is right,
i do feel it is time for people who use the term slave to think about the word.
as 90% of those who i have talked to that use this word to describe them self i would only consider them to be sub.
they have no desire to be selfless. and it is all about what they get in return.
and that's not how i am.
all i ask for is this. HONESTY and Love.
and for that i give like few others can or will.
this is not me submitting, or surrendering, .
i come as a = and hopefully leave as a friend.
i am real , not a part time Do me boi, not a pay piggy,
i seen allot of so called Professionals advertising for a real slave.
but when i open communication $$$ is what they relay want.
If Your property is making a good living outside the house and can support them self with out You and You would be left screwed with out them then You are NOT the head of house. maybe acting.
if the slave can simply pack up and go ,, they are no slave.
for me to get out here. i had to go threw HELL to get things together, and i still left with only the clothing on my back and bike between my legs.
and that was Due to a Extenuated circumstance.
..
GROWLS....
come on people. do we need to get the core of engineers to come up with proper terms and labels ?
for when i consider myself to be slave to someone, it is as close to the " Definition " of the word as you can get Legally .
now it is my responsibility to see that i surrender myself to someone who needs meets my own. .
this is called Compatibility. if they dont mesh up with You. then don't even try.
it is Fucked up rood and NOT submissive to try and force someone into what You like.. . if they say no. then thats it... Drop it. thats the respectful thing to do . and seek out someone who is willing to engage . |
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Exceptional Person Alert !
This individual has taken time to assist another selflessly , and has demonstrated Kindness to someone who was in need of assistance.
munedaysi
Your a WONDERFUL PERSON !!! Thank You. |
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PRO sub,
Private Workshops, serves and play.
$50+ cost of equipment if needed, per workshop,
$150, per hour for domestic services.
$200 per hour for play as Top or Bottom .
Workshops Offered. listed as Follows.
BDSM 101, Do's ,Don'ts , Flags ,Terms ,safety and YOU.
How to make a good flogger.
Energy and Power exchange.
How to be a slave.
How to be a Dominant,
How to be a submissive ,
From Mild to Wild, letting out the primal.
The tools and Tricks of Ass Destruction .
. Making Mummies.
Floating mummies.
Breath play,
Sensory fuckary.
prices listed for with in a 50 Mile distance.
after that transportation will be covered by you. |
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In this past 2 years, i have lost 3 people that meant more to me than words can describe.
1st my Grandfather,
then came Mistress , Damaiana
as of Saturday, my Mentor and closest friend Wight Owl.
and now , i find that one more of my most beloved friends is on Her way out.
so many people leaving this world, so quickly, it reminds me to be thankful for every moment i spend with everyone i consider to be a friend, and to be thankful for every moment i get to spend here on this earth.
i am thankful for so much and feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to have got to share time in this life with them.
Tho it may be a dark time, my sky is still bright from the light that they all have shined on my life.
i will never forget those who have helped me in my times of need.
i will never forget the lessons i learned threw there wisdom.
i will never forget a single one of them, as they are still stars that still light my night sky.
No one will be forgotten and so none of them will truly die, so long as there memory lives with in me and those whose life they have touched. |
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i love it when the scammers on this site slip up and add the profile name of one of there other accounts at the end.. it makes it easy to remove both profiles from view. |
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A New Dawn.
Many times in my life i have found myself in a dark place,
so deep the light of happiness was unable to pierce frigged haze of despair.
those where the times i wold call out for help , for a chance at love, to be loved , and receive no reply other than my own voice echoing back the screams sobbed into the eternal void of within.
in that pit, i was alone, and in that pit i found myself.
the image i saw staring back at me was terrifying, yet, comforting.
for the 1st time i had seen who i am , not an others perception cast onto me,
but my own self. i stood in judgment of myself.
comfort came from seeing the Positive and constructive love i wanted to share that made the core of inner most self.
the terror i felt was from seeing just how destructive and cutoff from all emotions of love i had made myself, all the rage i felt all anger which i used to separate myself from all those who i felt may hurt me.
it made me alone. and blind to my own path.
at that time, i knew. i was both Good and Evil. and then
i was able to see that i was casting my own shadow blocking my own light.
for so long i looked outside to see light, ever outward i gazed hoping to find someone to raise me out of that pit, and save me from my own void.
to shine so bright that i may bask in there warmth and become complete .
and in my darkness at that time when all hope seemed lost , looking at myself i could see a light. my own light. a light i had used to shine onto others and help them in there times of need.
the light that protects innocence and nurturers that which has none.
i was my own light.
with that, i out grew the pit, i encompassed the void, and became myself.
and i was able to light my own path which is now clear to me, ware this path leads.. i don't know. but , i do know it is my path to follow.
and on this path i hope to inspire others to find them self's. and become there own light.
for that is the light that everyone will see.
that is the light that You will see.
and that is the new dawn.
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RIP Damiana 12-25-12 .You will be Missed.
a Good Friend, one of the few people in this world i consider to be Family to me.
Always looking out for those around Her, Giving , Loving , Caring, Up front , Talented, Creative, Intelligent, ... She took me in, when i had No ware else to go. Gave me a home and did not know me, Gave me Trust, and Friendship.
if it was not For Mistress, Damiana taking me in 3 years ago, i dont know ware i wold be. on the streets? jail? dead? She Trusted me when i had no one , She is one of the most Wonderful People i ever knew.
i will always Remember the things She tough me and the compassion She had for Life.
Damiana, Safe Passing's my Dear Friend.
May You be surrounded in Light and Love.
i just found out tonight of Her Passing. ..
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !!! \o/
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i will be in vegas for the next 5 days . |
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Things are coming together prity well for my gaming center.
i just got the sound Perfect, my bass is Thumping hard, the lights on my pc are reacting to it Nicely .
i got a good theme set up for my desktops,
i got both screens up and running, i plan on picking up a new mouse soon .
i am also going to be looking into more LED lighting to go behind my tv's
when i am finished, this is going to be a gamers wet dream.
if i do move to MO, with my family they have promised me the basement for a room, ,
i will set up a media area and find something to do with it. besides just gaming.
but i am Hoping to get a decent place out here in CA, however, maybe things will be best if i go ware my family is. don't know.
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to all the Geeks Nerds and Gamers .
Its Smexxy and i know it.
i just built a new gaming PC.
i need to give a shout out for Newegg, Killer Prices and Fast serves.
i was playing eve online and my old PC gave up the smoke. @.@.. AWW,
so. i built a new one.
the Components,
CASE - Antec DS-85
PSU - Thermaltalk 850W.
RAM - 8 Gigs DDR3 Sector
CPU - Intel i-7 3.4 overclocked to 4.0.
CPU Cooler - Thermaltalk Water2.0 Pro
Motherboard - Asus Sabertooth Z77
Vid Card - Nevida EVGA GTX 480
HD's 2 western Digits 2 seagates. = 3 terabits of memory.
Monitor - a 42" LCD HD TV
Speakers - Logitech with sub woofer
Keyboard - Logitech G110
Optical Drives,- asus 1 Blue ray and 1 DVD RW,
i also installed red Accent lighting,
i am going to add a sound reactive light as well.
it has a 13 cooling fans inside the case.
this thing gives me wood when i look at it :) and it is Mine!
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Hiding Profiles.
the past few days i have bin hiding profiles that are Requesting tribute and others that are fakes,
and i am finding out that there is vary few real Profiles seeking relationships on this site.
real ones any ways.
LOL . what has happened to all BDSM world. it has become all about the ca$h, and the the thrill of the dynamic and actions taken with in it.
sad. |
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i just had a Wonderful time at the Lair with Miss Mel, She introduced me to a few rely cool people & gave me a Great seen as well. TY Miss Mel, . You ROCK !!,
aside from the great people and atmosphere i was able to sell a few Floggers, \o/ Woo Hoo.
i received Lots of compliments on my work so it made me feel rely good about the work i do.
i am looking foreword to my next trip down to LA.
i also met some one who wants to invest in making floggers with me. so my selection will be a bit more divers than it already is.
ON that note. my chain flogger / scourge felt delightfully painful, and worked vary well.
i am also working on a special flogger that is going to have Gold coins on the skirt of it. |
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CRAP FYI,,,, if Your Flash player gives out when sending a message it will send the message many time , as each time You refresh it sends it .. FYI.. i just spammed some one this way.LOL oops. |
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Making more Floggers tonight. will be selling them at the Lair down in North Hollywood come this weekend ,.
Hope to see You there. |
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<>FLOGGERS<>
i now have 3 different kinds of Floggers to offer.
All Floggers come with rubber a handle,
Types are
*Rubber Falls,*
*Metallic Crinkle,*
*Ball Chain & Leather,*
........................................
The Chain and Metallic Crinkle Floggers
are both Perfect for use with a Violet Wand.
........
IF You are interested in knowing more about what i offer,
Just contact me asking about the Flogger You have in mind.
....................................................................................
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OK.. so i just checked out the Collarme Chat room, i felt my iq dropping by the second.
to much trolling, and 98% of the people there where male's there was a few females there but only 1 was doing any chatting. and the boys all where having a pissing contest.
i do not think i will be going back into that area of Collarme. as is the bi and gay boys will not stop perving my profile ,
for every 1 female there is at lest 10 males that check me out.
Now i know why People in the Kink community cringe when i mention Collarme.
O well. i have still met sum cool people here. :) |
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Today i have bin pulling pranks on my friends all day. LMAO.
They all love me and think it is funny, but they all have told me that i need to find a Mistress to calm my ass down. :D i agree,, However. i am running wiled and running free till that time. \o/. all it took was for me to play with my violet wand yesterday and now i have bin amped up ever since. ,,, maybe i need to drink sum coffee and calm down. but i have to admit.. i have bin having so much fun. |
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if i had to pick 1 thing with in D/s bdsm as my ultimate kink, it wold be this.
( sleeping at the feet of my Mistress after a Rely intense beating, /seen.)
i enjoy subspace so much words can not describe. it is my drug.
the Best sleep i have ever had has bin at the feet of my former Mistress.
i know what it is like to not be able to talk due to being high from the seen i just went threw.
i know what it is like to not be able to walk due to being so overloaded.
i know what it feels like to need aftercare , and i know what it is like to be hungry for more.
i also know the Honor of being the one that has taken the hardest & longest beating in the party.
i enjoy the Honor it brings to my Mistress when i serve like this in public, and in private.
i miss the touch of a Mistresses hand upon my head as i kneel before Her showing respect.
there is nothing i love more than feeling the love of a Mistress .
this is what i miss.
this is what i seek .
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tonight has bin somewhat of a interesting night for me.
i was looking threw profiles on looking for people i may be interested in and one of the profiles i looked at had my Former Mistress's X BF who was with Her right after we broke up.
so i checked out his profile, and he seems like a rely cool person and allot like me, however different in small ways. i noticed that he has the same tattoo as this Woman i have had the hots for , and they seem to share allot in common. so i sent her his profile letting her know to check him out.
in a way i feel like a moron , on one hand i Rely like this Lady, However, i rather see Her happy with some one, than settle for me, or still looking for the right person.
but i do think they wold make a good match. so i did what i felt i should do.
i know i am not the brightest bulb in the box, but. i did feel that it was the thing to do for a friend, which i consider myself.
i dont know if i did the right thing... but i hope i did.
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Every time i see this video i crack up, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k
not my style of music,, but this song is a classic.
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Yesterday i came across a nice site for the Occult , they have Lots of items that i am going to be picking up, when i get into my new place it is going to look like a dark Temple,
at the moment i have a crystal ball in the mail, Whoo Hoo. :) i have bin wanting one for some time now. and next month it will be a few more alter pieces, i have my eye on a blood red crystal ball, :)
and Yes it is made from Red crystal.
i am also getting a few status Bells, Gongs, and other things,
i also got my band shirts in the mail today. :)
Whoo Hoo..
i have about 4-6 months to collect as much as i can for my new place.
Which means it is going to be Looking Sharp.
i am soo looking foreword to it. :)
i have bin studying the occult since i was 13, and i am now 30. i have bin practicing Chaos Magic since i was 16, and High magic since 24.
i am vary well versed in what i do.
i am still hoping to find my Empress. i know i will find Her, May not be from this site, but i will find Her.
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Well After catting with a Few Mistresses, about why most Mistress chose to have a Dom as there Partner, i have discovered this.
Most subs are , Overly needy, want to be a sissy, non assertive, lack confidence, are not able to make there Mistress feel safe, sexually selfish, Not able to be strong in the moments the Mistress is week( we are have are moments of weakness), and Spineless.
................................................................................................................................
i think it is time that i speak up and make it clear that,
i vary much have a spine.
i am vary Confidant in my life and about who i am .
i am vary assertive in everyday life.
if my Mistress wants me to Pick Her up and fuck Her brains out against the wall, i do it.
if she wants me at Her side and not Her feet, my arm is around Her Firmly,
if some one oversteps Her Boundary's with me present, that person will get Knocked the fuck out.
i am not a sissy boy, i am a man, and i Know how to show proper respect to a Mistress as a man.
if my Mistress is having a bad day, i can step up to the plate and take on what ever challenges need to be dealt with .
i am a Alpha to the world , and a loving submissive partner to my Mistress,
when something Hurts me my reaction is to laugh at it.
i have a Vary high pain tolerance. i have passed a kidney stone before and i was squirming on the flour with a smile on my face.
When my partner is sick, i bring Her everything She needs and wants, i holed Her hair out of Her face when She vomits, standing by Her side with a glass of water ready for Her when She needs it.
the Love i give is Heart felt and Unconditional.
in the good times or the bad, i will be there facing foreword and only steeping down when my Mistress tells me to.
i am a archetype submissive , this is not a Choice for me, it is Not a game, or a act, it is who i am .
there is Lots of people like me in the world, we are normally overlooked, and not given the chance to Show who we are due to the stereotype that subs have bin given.
i just hope this clears things up about what kind of partner i will be.
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Angel of the night,
in Your arms my love takes flight,
i see You in my dreams,
as well as Your extremes,
overcoming my weaknesses,
and battling my fears,
locked away are this warriors tears.
Hiden from the world in the shadow of who is seen by day,
hidden from the light i stay safe,
till my life You come to claim.
in the night i return to Your arms,
to feel Your love and awaken with Your lessons i have not forgot,
i know who You are,
but not ware You are.
my Priestess, my Goddess, i know Your love,
i felt Your touch,
i felt Your energy,
to the universe i cry out for balance , above , below , within .
to the universe i call out for You,
as You call out for me.
i will continue to search for You,
to know You in the physical,
to be held by You in the day,
but for now ,
in my dreams this love will stay.
nox, 3/21/12
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Interesting is the night,
i stare foreword to the light,
as i stand here in the shadows,
i know of fear pain and sorrow,
Yet i stand steady as a bolder,
knowing myself makes me that much stronger,
i will not flinch as the night grows colder,
for happiness lurks round the corner,
i fear not what is to come ,
for the pain of yesterday dun and gone,
walk with me into the night,
there we can let are love take flight,
whips and chains in the bedroom
birds of this feather will bleed together
come with me and we shale fly,
in the night are love can not die,
only if we where together
the world wold know of our thunder
as the earth begins to shake ,
all will know are love will not break,
stand with me and all will see,
how love is meant to be,
kneeling at your feet ,
for this is truly what i seek,
lift my head up off the flour,
i am Yours for ever more,
as i call out in the rain ,
i scream out Your sacred name,
in the end we die alone,
but for now let us hug and mone,
scream my name into the night ,
i will come to You and fight,
all that You can not handle
as Your champion i will stand for battle.
as my flesh gets ripped from my bones ,
in Your arms i find my home.
3/21/12 |
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in the darkest of nights the light is the most clear, yet , some how gets lost among the shadows of our own demons.
Personal growth is about realizing these inner conflictions , and laying them to rest.
when we start to loose sight of who we are, we become a product of our environment and not our inner being.
slowly we can become lost, and when we do, we loos all concept of what matters,
some times it takes being this lost for us to find ourselves.
for when the light becomes blocked out, and we search for it, we will be confronted by every one of our inner demons.
and if the choice is never made to confront them back the light will always remain hidden behind them.
and we will remain Lost in a Sea of our own personal hell , constantly tormented by these demons.
i spent Years lost, only getting glimpses of hope threw dreams.
over time i confronted my demons. and started learning who i am , i am a slave.
i am meant to serve someone, i call Her Empress by default.
no one can learn to be a slave,, we can Learn how to better serve , being a slave is who one is.
my inner being is not happy unbound .
this part of me is so deep , i have desired this kind of relationship for as long as i can remember.
and i can remember along ways back ,
and things happened back then to instill a need to be owned . things i have faced,
things i will not share with anyone that is not holding my key. for all i wold be doing is giving people the ability influence my emotions .
and sorry all ,, that is reserved for Empress to do .
to be a slave it takes the ability to completely trust some one.
to trust them with your LIFE.
it also requires that one do with out expecting, or questioning.
to be a slave to someone is to be a Blessing on there life.
it is to Uplift, Charis , Honor, obey, Follow. Protect, LOVE.
i am comfortable saying that i found some one i want to submit to, and when i am able to fill Her needs, , i will offer myself as Her sub... and if when She feels W/we are ready , She may offer me a slave collar, on that day i will accept.
this is what i Hope for. Not expect. |
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Possibility of me being in San Diego in Feb, Real good out look on that,
if all goes right i will be living with my tattoo artist , What better person to share rent with , he is the only person that i trust to ink my skin, so :)
it is going to be like moving in with a Cool Brother,
if You want to see his work look at my arms and back in my pic's .
the tattoo on my back was 5 hours 1 sitting , the needle used was a 29 Magnum.
which for you that don't know, it is about 3/4 inch wide. makes for Quick work.
<Happy Dance >
Rock on. :) |
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CM Bullies this is for You. ENJOY.
i find it Funny that some Dominants, think that just becos some one is a sub, they are less of a person than they are,
to that kind of Dom , i ask this question.
What do You bring to the table that is Greater that what we the sub's bring ?
any Truly experienced Mistress/Dom. Understands that every sub and slave is = to them ,
i see some Dom's /Mistresses, Demand to be treated as a Superior from the Get go.
and i have to ask.. What have they dun to prove that they are . 1 , Experienced , 2 able to handle the responsibility of Owning / dictating a life other than there own, 3, Not a mental case ,
4 Safe, and Honest about who they are.
5, Compatible with the sub in which they are addressing.
next Question. is what makes these people think that they have the Right or ability to put anyone in there place pass judgment or speak as a Superior, to a person that has Not submitted to them .
Yes i am a sub /slave. However, unless i submit to You i am Your = .
i have ben around the seen for Far to Long to be Bullied by so called Mistress and Doms .
being a Bully dos not make You Dom,/Mistress. it makes You an ASS. and it also allows us the Experienced to see right threw You. and how insecure You relay are.
so to all the Bully's on this site, SUCK MY BALLS. and go get some Self Confidence.
this one has a Spine and fangs, Don't Tread On ME. Respect me and i will respect You.
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i am in Florida, Until January - February.
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| Age: 22 |
| Bedford,
Indiana |
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