Just wanted to give a quick update: I found another, much more satisfying partner off of OkCupid (I've had such good luck on there!) and I hope he continues to challenge my masochism for a long time to come. Quite happy with him as my dominant, and hope to grow together and have lots of lulz along the way.

I don't want to say I'm grossly unsatisfied, but something's missing. I met a wonderful guy on OkCupid and we've been dating for about three weeks. I even persuaded him to get an account on That Other Fetish Social Networking Website--but he doesn't have a CM which is why I'm posting on here. We're not exclusive, and I told him (he agrees) that we're not going to be until he can satisfy my kink needs. I don't feel that it's appropriate to say we're in a relationship or we're monogamous until it's only him. He's perfectly fine with me seeking out a play partner because he recognizes that he can't yet satisfy ANY of my kink spectrum needs.

I doubt that he ever will. He's a wonderful guy: intelligent, motivated, supportive, spoils his kitten. But I wish I could meet a man who has a natural dominant spark, who I DON'T have to lead by the throat, who's already well-versed in the ways of kink or at least who has more of a drive to investigate. I don't see this budding relationship ever turning into a 24/7 dynamic. I guess the problem is weighing whether that disappointment balances out how fond I am of this guy.

And to anyone reading this: if you take this as an opportunity to proposition me for sex, you're a fucktard and need to refer to the first paragraph of my profile. Overall I'm happy but I could be a lot happier.

Apparently my gun photo is controversial, so I thought I'd explain my love of firearms and why people need to calm the fuck down. Right now I'm only doing target practice. I don't own a gun since I don't have the money, but come September I'll be on the market. I was raped twice--it's not that guns make me safe (a safe ENVIRONMENT makes me safe), but I feel a lot better knowing that if a third man tries to rape me, that he's hitting the ground before his dick gets anywhere near me. I would only shoot another person in self defense, and even then only if it looked like my life was in danger IE if it's just a fistfight the gun stays out of it. I've fired an M16 before and that was absolutely heaven. I live in a country where we do have rights to firearm access, and I plan on using those good ol' second amendment rights. I don't even hunt. Right now shooting is just a good old fashioned stress relief. I fancy myself a decent but beginning/novice shooter. It's not something I brag about but if asked I do like talking about guns, rifles, and shiny metal things that go pow pow pow. :)