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| UPDATE: Thank you all for the many kind responses I've received. My putting this profile up today was a bit impulsive to see what if any response I might get. We're getting ready to go on a trip, so I won't really be able to respond for a bit; but I'll be mulling over the comments I've gotten and thinking about how I want to proceed. Again, thank you for your kindness.
My husband came here to have an affair when our now 2-year-old daughter was an infant. We've been in counseling for a year and a half, but I'm having a hard time healing. He has now decided to quit counseling. I feel compelled to do whatever I need to in order to save our marriage for the sake of our two children (4 1/2 and 2). I've always felt sexually inadequate for him. I was a virgin when we married, while he had a lot of experience. We are both Catholic, and he said he'd come to be serious about his religion and was okay with my inexperience and wanted to build a life with me. It was only through the discovery of his affair that I learned he is a porn user and attracted to the BDSM lifestyle. Not the picture of the devout Catholic he had painted for me. And to be honest, I've found what I've seen of the lifestyle to be revolting, I guess maybe because I came to discover it through his infidelity, so my thoughts about it are tainted by that tremendous betrayal and pain.
I fear he won't remain in the marriage if I can't give him the sort of sex life he wants. I know he thinks of himself as a dominant and wants me to be tremendously submissive, if not a downright slave. I'm hoping there are some people here who will help me learn to overcome my negative thoughts about that and become the sort of woman he wants so I can save my marriage. Thank you.
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