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I met someone who started out as a fuckbuddy who decided to take me off the market. Not that I was on the market as we had agreed to not be a couple yet for safety sake not see other people. Then he got a girlfriend who didn't fulfill all of his needs so we are trying it out as me the sex slave to fill in the gaps. I feel safe with him. It will be a good thing. He is kind. Not sure about the girlfriend. |
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I'm thinking I need some sex to cheer me up ... just a cock to suck or stuck in me rapidly with force and meaning.... maybe some bondage...a few dirty words whispered in my ear as my hair gets tugged a little... no attempt at ownership... just cum dripping from my mouth ... my tits and running down my face ... my ass... my cunt... now would be good |
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Made it through Christmas.. Happy New Year Everybody |
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Joyous Solstice... Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year...
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wow has it really been a year???? still not ready to jump into the pool. i will not discuss what happened- that is a private matter. there are lots of other things i have no problem discussing. i do not naughty chat, cam, phone sex or any of that inappropriate behavior. i am thinking about putting a toe in and testing the depth of the water.. i am in no way ready for the deep end. my limits have changed. i have also changed my rules. if i choose to wade in .. i will be adhearing to the rules, the hardcore philosophy of BDSM and the motto Safe-Sane-Consentual. |
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she kneels before her Master devoted to the core
she gives to Him all she is or ever will be gifted in trust
as servant, slut, slave to his whim and lust
to feel his gentle touch or painfull lash she yearns
collared, chained and shackled by her heart
Property, chattle, Never parting till sold or discarded |
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oh the heart aches...
the mind takes over
rational thought
ruins the dream
stiffels the soul
binds the path
the beaten path
the bloody beaten path
love lies bleeding
devotion's gasping breath
an injured soul in need of direction
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trying desperatly to close out the old free life for one of total enslavement. it's not as easy as it sounds. she who is owned by Him is trying hard to discard her past and go naked and unburdaned into her new life Owned and Operated by AKMaster. she lives for him and because of him. her every waking moment will be to server Him and every sleeping moment will be dreaming of Him. she will prove ever second of every day her undying love and devotion to Him.. and serve his every need and desire and the need and desire of those he tells her to service. she is his property to do with as He desires until He tires of his chattle and discards or sells it. |
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Funny things happen when you stop trying.. you often succeed in what you were trying to stop. |
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i think i am going to take a break from my search for an Owner. The past year has been a bit stressfull and i think it's time i have a little fun. Ok a lot of fun. It's time to go out and meet and greet and sample and be sampled. So if You are in need of practicing your Dominant skills, rope work or verbal humiliation, i think i can help. Do You have a specific kink that You are having problems fulfilling? i might fit that bill. Have some built up aggression that you need release either physical or sexual? Count me in! And bring some friends if you like.. i have some catching up to do. Who knows maybe my Owner will show up to claim His or Her property afterall. Until then the party is ON! |
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Don't try to woo me ... don't try to tell me i'm your perfect match before meeting me... i really don't appreciate hearing all the lovely then get suddenly cut off - no word... No explanation... If you have a specific type you like... or don't like... lets put that upfront. Be a man... be the Dominant you claim to be. i might be a lowly submissive but i do deserve some respect and an explaination.
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I'm going on a trip up north. I'm going to Canada!!! I'll be in Calgary on the 22nd and Edmonton on the 23rd. then driving back south on the 24th. Any Dom kinksters needing something /someone to do .... drop me a line! I've got the wanderlust again. |
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OK it's been a number of months since i moved so i guess i will change my profile status to reflect where i live now. I have been getting lot of inquiries lately from my old stomping grounds... not that i won't travel out that way but the closer to home the easier it is to get to know someone. |
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So I have been chatting with this one Dom who has been hyper about meeing me. Things keep getting put off and postponed.. and the meet and greet hasn't happened. I have to laugh at the situation.. if you have read my profile you know that one way to really get on my bad side is to have the wife or girfriend text me asking me questions about who i am. Well after a long day of "don't give up" and all of that stuff.. i text out "busy tonight?" to which i get the reply "Who are you?"... needless to say i don't think i will be meeting that person.
There are tell tale signs that you are probably married or in a committed relationship and aren't being honest about it. Strange noseqitor things come out of your mouth like " I prefer texting to talking on the phone"
I have been propositioned by a string of "Couples" and it seems only the man wants to play and "she doesn't play anymore". Aw come on! Change your profile!!! If you don't play as a couple (if you ever really did) then change your profile to reflect that! I will say there are some honest to goodness couples out there. I negotiated play with a couple once that were so honest it was off-putting. He said he would discuss it with his wife and about 10 minutes later she called and we chatted. She reassured me that she was in total knowledge of the situation... whe was there whilst he and i played. I have spoken to a few others that were genuine..
I haven't ranted in a while and wanted to get that off my 46E chest. |
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I am very blessed to be alive and able to celebrate the Yuletide season and am looking forward to the new year. I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed but the past couple of week the universe has gone to hell in an hand basket. I totally blame this on the fact that Mercury is once again in retrograde. Things should be back to normal about the 30th. I really hope so because things have been really bizarre in my world for sure.
I am settling into my place for the winter. I enjoy the quiet solitude and am constantly in awe of nature.
This year I want to find new and fun ways to play with rope. I want to share my life with someone and show them my total devotion. I will put my heart and soul into pleasing and will obey without hesitation. I will find a home this year. |
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Happy Holidays to everybody! Sorry i have been lax in my email replies and journal entries but i have been running ragged getting things done and dealing with family coming over. i love family but i am so used to my solitude that i don't quite know what to do with people around.
Winter has been fun. The snow, the ice, the cold, it's been an adventure. Well i am looking for lots of new adventures in the future and to settle down and find a home. Then the real adventure begins. |
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Wow you can tell by my lack of journal entries that i have been busy. Settling in and just in time for winter. Things are going smoothly. i seem to have way too much time on my hands right now. i also seem to be going through a phase where i am a bit hypersexual. With no outlet i find myself pacing nervously and craving things most carnal. If i lived in a populated area... i would be trouble. i think that's why it's best in my circumstances that i live where the population is small to keep myself in check. If i were owned it would be different.. i would have an outlet. since i am not i will just have to ride this out ... maybe invest in a battery operated release device. i don't usually own one. your basketball doesn't own a football ... why would your sex toy own a sex toy? |
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Things are changing. I am moving. The job opportunity was too good and i went for it. This weekend i will carve the pumpkins and roast the seeds... bake the flesh and freeze it for pies next month. Maybe I'll take a few photos and post them. Maybe i will finally post a photo of me. The holiday season has started. The nice thing about moving is you can find all of those things that you have lost track of. I hope i find my cookie sheets. Cookie baking season is right around the corner. |
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i am finally going to go visit my friend in Spearfish and her new baby. i will probably be able to handle that for about an afternoon. i need to find something to do after that. Any idea of what i could do ? now now.. i said what and not who! although it has been a while since i have felt the strong hand of a good Dom/me. maybe i want to come out and play. |
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Still under the weather today.. added throbbing head. Not the kind of throbbing head i would prefer dealing with. |
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Feeling under the weather today. Can't keep any food down. Times like this i wish i had a Master to take care of me. At least my computer is acting like a heating pad. |
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Read the entire profile.. there will be a quiz! |
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I was out wandering around today and got hit upside the head with an idea. I want to start making some hip, trendy yet subtle BDSM fashion accessories. That seems like a creative outlet for all of my pent up energy while i wait to find a new Owner. I wonder where i could sell them? |
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it is an absolute perfect autumn day outside. and here i am being scullery maid doing housework and tap tap tapping away at the computer. i might have to steal some outside time to wander the forest and take in the beauty of nature. i am in awe of the season and submit to nature and her beauty. must finish the dishes first owned or not... it's gotta get done! i guess this is a new definition of self service. |
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sometimes it's the subtle stuff that gets me .. i was at a meet and greet with a Dom once and we were sitting across the table from each other just talking about nothing.. and he quietly slipped his foot next to mine and slowly moved my feet apart showing his want and his Dominance and my vuneralbility... that was such a turn on... i immediatly went wet, my breath labored, and my knees weak. very cool |
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i get asked a lot "what do you look for in a Master" well here is the bones of it..not the flesh of it but the bones....
i am looking for someone who is Dominant in presence, someone whose limits match mine and who is realistic in what they demand from their property. I was driving home from the store this afternoon taking in the scenery. Watching the rolling farm fields and the sun lighting up the cottonwood and aspens as they glow in their autumn sympnony. i passed and old Jeep Willys and thought "nice truck!" and what it would be like to have one. some people would take it at modern face value and discount its true classic nature. it wasn't shiney... it wasn't fast but someone loved that truck and appreciated it. i see myself like that old Willys.. classic, hard working, a lot of miles but not necessarily in showroom condition. Not the prettiest one you have owned but certainly your favorite.
It will take a while to flesh out what i want in a Master... but creativity, someone who likes hunting, fishing, and outdoor life. Someone with a shepherd spirit who can guide and correct and keep me safe. i require a good quirky, twisted sense of humor with a firm hand and other parts - and someone not affraid to push my limits just a little bit farther.
Hey! Are you out there?? |
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The problem with sites like this is it attracts people who just want to talk dirty. And that makes we want to be a dirty little whore. Time for ice cream.. that should fix it. |
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Creativity is everything. If you are limited on time, space, cash and privacy a good length of rope will do. You can practice bondage, if you coil it right you can use it as a nice thuddy flogger, coil it a different way and you have a spreaderbar or hobble or restraint, and don't forget suspension! Kept quietly in a utility closet or trunk you are always ready for that unexpected moment. |
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Had a ball at the pumpkin patch. I really do love autumn! It's the end of the life cycle. Looking forward to new beginnings! |
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I think today i am going to start decorating for Halloween. Might have to go to the pumpkin patch. This is my favorite time of year!!! Anyone want to go roll in the hay??? |
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As election day draws nearer the political ads grow more harsh. Here in South Dakota we have some pretty good mudslinging going on Here is an example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHtvgbjo3XA
I thought it to be cleaver. i think it's a good idea to keep government small and out of our lives. i know i don't want them in my bedroom or dungeon. |
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a submissive/slave without a Master is like a ship without a captain. Another analogy would be a service dog without a person to help. a purpose is needed to keep control however saying that, i am not in a hurry or desperate. i am though getting hungry to serve. might be time for a little play. |
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After numerous inquiries i need to clarify a few items.
First: while willing to relocate i wish to stick to the United States, i am a proud american whose political leaning are right of center. pretty far right. as for where i would live, it would be perferably in the central part of the country. hot weather and i do not get along. i prefer the cooler climates. i also don't do well in crowded places so large cities would be a problem. unless of course i just didn't leave the house. saying that though, i do not desire nor is it reasonable to keep me physically in a cage for long periods of time.
Second:at the suggestion of a member here i did add this to my main profile: i am drug and disease free. i do not drink or smoke and am looking for the same. if you are an occasional drinker that's fine. i don't drink because i don't want to. it doesn't agree with me. i have no dependance issues.
this might seem out of the blue but, meat is an important part of my life. i will not serve in a vegan or primarily vegetarian household. sorry, bacon and cheese are non negotiable.
Really, i am not a demanding person. my philosophy is: why try to fit into somthing uncomfortable when the perfect fit is out there. You wouldn't run a marathon in shoes that pinch and tight pants that didn't let you breathe. i am in this for the long haul. and i am patient that the right household is there waiting for their slave to come home. |
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Can't sleep ... pacing around. At least the house is clean. This is where being owned would come in handy. I would have someone to attend to, to pamper, to serve. i am one that needs to have someone to take care of, to serve, to satisfy. As i stare up at the star filled sky tonight i wish for my one true Master, the Master of my body, mind, soul and heart to create that spark to light my way to Him/Her/Them.
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This is an edited version of a response i sent to someone that i think will answer a lot of inquiries.
as i have stated in my journal I tend to get inappropriate comments when i post a picture. Depending on the chemistry i have with whomever i am corresponding with i will send a photo. My photos have also appeared on other sites without my permission so i don't like just handing them out willy nilly. i hope you understand.
I live in a rural area so my internet connection is iffy- so running instant messaging programs can be problimatic. They are bandwidth hogs and tend to crash the system.
i have also in the past delt with stalkers, so i don't usually do things like give out my phone number without getting to know someone better. While it seems to make it harder to meet people here, and make people suspicious of who i am .. i remain safe and in control of my world until i am ready to give control over to someone else.
If you are interested in getting to know me better, be patient and get to know me and let me get to know you and we can expand from there. |
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Time to get up and start cleaning house. i am very domestic even unowned. i find it very important to keep a clean house. No one has to tell me to do the dishes or sweep the floors or vacuum. i find the time refelctive. i can think about each chore as a gift. right now i am very gifted. someday i hope to be giving the gift to someone who will appreciate it. |
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What can i say other than things just aren't right today. I'm going to take a shower and try to wash off whatever has gotten me down. I'm going to face the day with a clean attitude. I'm going to get out and exercise those demons so that i can move on. |
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I recently had an online convo with a Dom supposedly from my area. There was something he said that struck me wrong. I'm not sure if he was telling me he was untruthful or that he was calling me a untruthful. I gues my response is: If you were not being truthful to me - i don't want to chat with you again. If you were calling me a liar then you are wrong and i don't want to chat with you again. Feel free to be part of the 95% posers here. Still looking for my 5%er. Someone honest, caring, Dominant and reasonable. Oh and He/She really has to be in the lifestyle not just being kinky on the surface. |
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This isn't a drunken one night stand marriage in Vegas:
First of all before contacting me, or really anyone else here, you should read their complete profile.
Second, just because you are a Dom/me doesn't mean you have instant control, ownership, rights, to order me around to do whatever.
Third, if i email, chat, talk, text or whatever with you, that does no mean you have instant control, ownership, rights, to order me around to do whatever. While i have been known to "play" from time to time, even in those circumstance your control lasts from the beginnng of the scene/session to the end - unless otherwise agreed upon.
Unless you are my Master/Owner i have a set of limits that will be respected. i have a safe word that will be respected. The motto of the BDSM lifestyle is "Safe, Sane, Consensual" and i live by that.
If your first contact with me is trying to order me around or call me by what you think is a pet name (slut, cunt, whore, bitch, slave, ) you probably won't be getting a response.
If after one online conversation you want me to move in perminantly- i probably won't be taking you seriously. This is my life and my lifestyle. It takes time to get to know someone to commit/submit to for the rest of your life. I need to meet you and see how we interact. Chemistry is everything. This isn't some drunken one night stand Vegas marriage... i am not a puppy in the window at the pet store that if you suddenly decide you don't like me can leave me at the pound. When i submit my everything to someone, i expect the same level of commitment. Forever isn't just until we have a misunderstanding. If you think otherwise you need to look up the word Forever in the dictionary.
as demanding as that all sounds... i really am an extremely submissive slave. and when i find that perfect Master/Owner the only rules that apply are the ones that He/She sets and that W/we agree upon.
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A note to all who have been emailing me. If i don't respond right away it's because my internet is been acting up. i keep getting cut off while online. it's very frustrating to try to respond and half way through get cut off.
thank you for your patience
sA |
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So my best friend Rachel, who is straight as a ruler, just had a baby. (yay! ) which got me thinking. She knows I'm in the lifestyle and has for quite some time. She used to ask me questions about it. I remember one conversation we had about fisting. She was absolutly agast that i would allow someone to stick something that size up there. She really couldn't fathom it. Now having said that i will have to remind her that she has pulled two complete humans through her fun hole!! I wonder what she'll say to that?
I'll give her a week to settle into the new mommy role before i drive out to Spearfish and rock her straight little world. |
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and now for your amusement... i have updated my profile. There are still sections to fill out so be patient. This is a journey. I have no map.. no compass so i will follow my heart. Unfortunatly currently my heart is broken .. i might have to breakdown and ask for directions. Just don't lead me astray. |
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i have had several inquiries recently asking why i don't have a photo of myself up on my profile. That is because when i did have a photo up I got a lot of unwelcome comments. i would prefer to get to know someone a little bit before giving them my face. I am also a very private person and don't need my picture showing up on some porn site.
I do ask questions. I like to feel out the person and the situation. If you are not very forthcoming with me - that's a good indicator that you probably won't be getting very far.
Fall is here and it's time to relax and recharge. I will be spending time watching the leaves turn, sipping, a cool tastey beveage, and making plans and looking towards the future. It's time to get the old priorities straightened out.
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I do not understand why people need to be in such a rush. Making a relationship with a slave is not something you can do from on online conversation or really from one meeting unless that one meeting was the BDSM equivalent to love at first sight. As a submissive, if you are going to dedicate your life and everything that you are to a Master, you had better know who you are committing to. i am an advocate of living together for a while before collaring. if you are going to commit for life and beyond- be sure. if someone approches me with an on the spot ownership request... i tend to back up and walk away quickly. Rushing into things is not only stupid but dangerous.
When the right Master comes along i will commit to forever and eternity, in total service with complete devotion. Until then i will keep looking. |
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Putting in a Tall Order
Lately i have been thinking about my future and what i am looking for. i resign that when i become owned again, i will drop my limits and conform to what the Master wants. i have no issue with that. i had the epiphany that i didn't have to live a life of submitting to tortures i didn't want or couldn't handle. i realized that i could find a Master out there that shared my same ideas of what is and is not proper conduct. This complicates the search a little and will no doubtedly prolong my journey but in the end the puzzes piece need to fit completly or the picture doesn't come out correctly. |
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Back early from my Colorado Oddessy .. pent up and in need... who'd have thought that the need to serve was an uncontrolable desire. It's what provides the satisfaction... the release. I need release... |
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on a wild streak. Currently visiting the Denver area and in need of use or just plain domination. I guess it's frustration in trying to find a real Master that I sometimes break out and go wild and ask...beg for use. |
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