Every now and then, I make reference to the question: “What Does A Daddy Get From the Dynamic?”  I’ve seen this question pop up on a quite a few sites and I’ve received this question in emails and private messages. And I’ve done my best to answer it. But it doesn’t seem to matter how many times it’s stated, the answers given are often hard for a BabyGirl to understand. Perhaps the only way to know what a Daddy get from it is to be a Daddy – just the same as the only way to understand what a BabyGirl gets from it is to be a BabyGirl.

It’s frustrated me a bit that, though I find it easy to write, I just simply can’t find an all-encompassing answer to this question. So what I’ve decided to do is create a series of on-going blog entries, until I have fully answered the question.

This entry will detail a small little “something” that I’ve gotten from my time as a Daddy. But these are only my answers, my opinions and what I get from the dynamic. It may differ for others and that’s the beauty of it. Much like Age Play and ABDL itself, it is as individual as we are.

So this entry I will entitle as: “Essence”.

In the early days of the ABDL internet (the late 90’s, the early 2000’s), there were few sites that had drawn enough attention to bring in the masses. But the number of sites would grow and soon, little communities would pop up … like DiaperSpace – joining in with DailyDiapers and some of the others that had become mainstays. FetLife didn’t exist just yet, but it would soon be born as well.

And suddenly, long distance didn’t seem so long. Not only could you meet others online, but you could tell others of the people you had already met … namely, a partner you now called your own. You could leave caring messages on their profile and tell the world how much you loved them.

I began to see ABDL and Age Play couples do this sort of thing, flirting with one another online – openly and with affection. And what it displayed to me was how they were able to show the other person how much they were on the mind. They would do this in different locations and in different ways: on profile walls, in chat rooms, and in forums – to name just a few.

Nowadays, there are cell phones that are mini computers and being openly affectionate online is not only commonplace but also easy to do as you now have the internet at your fingertips at all times. But back then, it was uncommon and those who shared openly were showing another level of the connection in a very meaningful way.

So how does this apply to what a Daddy gets from the dynamic?

Enter “Essence”.

This one goes hand-in-hand with “Purpose” as thinking about her also gives you purpose. But I speak of thought separately because it can be often overlooked or taken for granted. A lot of times, we notice the visual things like actions and surprises. But sometimes we don’t pause to appreciate that those actions began as thoughts – at some point when you hear something on the TV or see something on your way to work or hear something said by someone – all scenarios that can make a Daddy think of her … his Essence.

Thoughts of her lead to more thoughts of her as a scent in the air brings her to the forefront. Those thoughts redirect a Daddy’s attention and instead of just going into a minit market to buy something ordinary like, say … Turkey Hill Iced Tea, that Daddy also buys a little glass bottle of the Frappuccino Mocha iced coffee because that’s what she likes. Or he gets a pack of Peanut M&Ms because he knows that it’s the first bit of comfort food that will make her night better once she gets home from work.

Little things like that then lead to bigger things, like planning out a day trip or making the night more pampering for all of her than just her bottom.

And suddenly, what happens is: That Daddy begins to do different things than what he would’ve done otherwise, had she not been on his mind. He becomes a different creature because of her. And without much ado, she becomes his essence.

Why? Because she matters to him and though life doesn’t always allow every moment to be spent on showing someone how much they mean to you, life can’t change the essence of your thoughts.

How to convey to a girl that she’s on your mind? Well, I suppose the best way to do that may always be open for debate. Saying it is good. But showing it is very good as well. And hopefully, somewhere in the middle, she will see in her Daddy’s eyes the essence she has become to him.

And to me, that’s another reason why the Daddy/BabyGirl connection is dynamic.

The Quintessential BabyGirl

Quintessence (quin•tes•sence – noun \kwin-ˈte-sən(t)s\)
1: the fifth and highest element in ancient and medieval philosophy that permeates all nature and is the substance composing the celestial bodies
2: the essence of a thing in its purest and most concentrated form

The “Quintessential” takes on as many meanings as there are heartbeats in this world. But the only two meanings that will matter are yours and hers.

Your “Quintessential” is that person who holds the other half of your thoughts, who picks up the sentence when you run out of breath and who needs exactly what you need – just from the other side of that same heartbeat.

It’s not about perfection of the body. But rather, of the mind, of the heart and of intentions in actions-n-words. You won’t strive to do anything right, only to try. You both will learn more about your own imperfections than you ever wanted to know and you’ll feel yourself exposed because you shared who you are when you’re behind closed doors as opposed to who you are when prepared and at your charmed, partying best.

And those are moments when you discover your real merit and what you hold to be quintessential – about yourself and about her.

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She will try very, very hard to be more than want you want her to be, not because she’s needy or wants attention, but rather because she loves you so much that she can’t stop thinking of you. And she wants you to ache for her in ways that stimulate your nerve-endings exactly the same way she is affected. She wants you to understand not just how she feels, but why she feels that way.

She will surprise you because she wants you to notice her in new ways all the time.

She will increase her own pulse-rate and lose her own breath as she fondles herself in your absence – with closed eyes and a headful of thoughts about you. Sexuality will mean nothing to her anymore, not unless she has been aroused by you and now drips for those experiences she will receive when staring up at the bedroom ceiling – lost in a jumbled mixture of emotions and sensations she could not possibly separate.

She will struggle to silence her over-active mind so she can absorb every mental seed your gentle whispers plant inside her and every bit of submission your impassioned whispers fill her senses with.

She will mind-fuck herself so that when her head stops spinning, she’ll have less of the identity she had before she met you and more of the identity she now has because of you.

She will bite her nails when she feels insecurity and she will drag them down your back when you pin her down and force her to succumb to more than just daydreams and emotions.

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You will begin to see her all around you, no matter where you are or what you’re doing – in other people’s faces, in words on billboards that make you think of her.

You will know when she is upset at the very instant she turns shy & quiet. You won’t know why she’s upset, but you’ll begin to pick up the non-verbal explanations she tries to convey to you. And, as if the two of you shared the same thoughts at the same moments, you suddenly come up with answer. But you will only achieve this knowledge after you have failed repeatedly to understand. You’ll gain the knowledge after you care enough to instinctively try again until you get it right.

You will grow stiff when she walks past you and her scent fills your senses.

You will learn how to hold her gently while harboring the male aggression you want to ravage her with. And you will learn when that gentleness needs to be abandoned for a little while.

You will become sexist in all the right ways. And you will believe that she should never touch a doorknob or door handle.

You will hold her down and consistently deprive yourself of completion until you have watched her reach the summit several times before you ever begin to make your first climb. And you’ll find out that she’s waiting for you at the top.

When she cries, you will know why – not because you’re a mind-reader but because you’ve paid attention in the past and because you know that every set of tears that stream down her face have a different sound. And you will memorize the meanings of every sound she makes.

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She will be you blanket. You will be her pillow.
She will provide patience when you show frustration.
She will arch her spine higher so you can thrust harder and deeper.

You will lead so she can follow.
You will give so she can receive.
You will growl & clench to make her recoil & whimper.

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She will take interest in your sports obsessions, though she could care less about who wins. What will matter is that she didn’t deprive you of the right to be obsessed.

You will watch her sappy TV shows, though you won’t be able to remember any of the character’s names. What will matter is that you were there when she showed a bit of individuality that wasn’t derived from you.

She will find constructive ways to criticize you – after having pissed you off on numerous occasions with derogatory ones.

You will find a sense of humor that makes her laugh, but not a sense of humor that comes at her expense.

You will not be a punching bag for her and she will not be a punchline for you.

But together, you’ll be perfectly imperfect for each other. You’ll both recognize that, in order to overcome an obstacle, you both will need to do things differently. You’ll both make every street a two-way street. And you’ll both admit when you’re wrong – no matter how painful it may be and no matter if you disprove your own point in the process or not.

She is at the center of every breath you take.
You begin and end every thought she has.

She is your anything and your everything because she will forever be your Quintessential BabyGirl.

The Be-All End-All BabyGirl -

Wishes are born in Dreams, Fostered in our Life Experiences and Deepened with our own Convictions.

Wishes that become met are because we pursued them with a passion and a zeal which defined our hearts.

Up until recently, I never would’ve looked at the phrase “Be-All End-All” and derived such meaning from it. But the concept is nothing new and we all think of it. I’m no different. It’s just that up until now, I would’ve used different terminology, like … the person who is your “Perfect” (as a friend of mine recently called it). That person whom you refer to as your “soul mate” or the “one”, the “person you’ve been looking for”, the “person who has been looking for you”.

The “Be-All End-All” means something different to every individual. That’s what makes it such a passionate thought. It is unique and it is your own.

Your “Be-All End-All” is that person you will spend the rest of your life with. This means that everything about you comes in to play. Every quirk, personality trait, attitude problem, habit, quality, health issue, blessing, gift, intention, emotion, purpose, value, belief and thought. If it’s for the rest of life, you better believe it all matters.

That person is the completion of who you are, and in every aspect of your life, she is that piece of the puzzle you needed:

Mentally – Creating a balance in your life to deal with everything which comes up, even when you can’t handle it.

Emotionally – A supporter, a listening piece and a conversationalist who helps you complete your thoughts and finish your sentences.

Physically – The sexual side which brings you enjoyment along with health. It feels good to be desired.

Realistically – Life assigns responsibilities to you and that person develops with you as your world changes.

Permanently – Every day, taking the best of both your worlds and uniting them.

Internally – Finding your purpose because of someone.

Comfortably – Being able to be relaxed around someone, be yourself and not trying to impress, knowing you impress them by simply being who you are.

Equally – Giving all of yourself, all of your heart and receiving the same back.

Patiently – Knowing we all grow a day at a time and not wanting to skip over any part of that growth.

It’s the realization of so much fulfillment in life, through someone else.

And there is only one other person in life who sees the “Be-All End-All” exactly the same way that you do. It’s the quest of one’s life to find her and fill her with a lifetime of unremitting, unconditional love.

The world rises up to meet your needs when you give of yourself freely. And you are charged to help others with what they need.

And you will give to her just as hard as you take from her.

She will …

• be your BabyGirl, your beloved “shy”.
• love you without hesitation and will need to know you feel the same.
• need you to love her and to always be thinking of her.
• tell the truth and expose her heart to you because she will want to live within the security of not holding back secrets.
• want to share all of her life with you.
• want you to be comfortable and will want to make you happy.
• want you to guide her, instruct her and be proud of her.
• rely on you for a reason to breathe and will need to know you feel the same.
  
• see the future and she will see it with you.

She will make the same mistakes again and again, but will yearn for the scorching surrender of forgiveness.

But her “little” behavior, her diapered bottom and that pacifier held between her soft pink lips will represent who she truly is and has always been. But you won’t be fooled to believe she is powerless. For she will always be the BabyGirl who …

• knows you better than you know yourself.
• has taken the time to learn what you need in order to be who you are and who she needs you to be.
• knows that “who you are”, “what you do” and “how you make a living” are never to be disturbed, realizing that those things will evolve with her – in time, with love and with trust.
• does actually “evolve” with you – sometimes quickly like how she fell in love with you, and sometimes slowly as to not miss a single detail of who you were and who you will become.
• can fulfill the voids in your life by wrapping her arms around you and sharing her love.
• knows she is made for you.
• will heal your heart when nothing else can.

You are strong where she is weak and weak where she is strong.

You are her best friend in life – the one you share everything about yourself with.

You are the person who makes her smile, who makes her laugh, who makes her think happy thoughts when she’s sad.

You protect her, even when she doesn’t understand why.

You are the provider of order in her world of chaos and she follows you to calmer settings because she knows she wants that peace in her life and grows to need it.

You are the foremost thought in her mind and she needs you to recognize how much you mean to her.

You will be passionate about many things in life, but nothing will come close to your passion for her.

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You will tell each other how much you mean to each other:

You will reassure her that you love her every chance you get. You will wake up in the morning and stare into her eyes, saying: “BabyGirl, I don’t just want you, I need you.” And you’ll tell her this twenty times a day.

She will reassure you that you’re appreciated. She’ll look up at you and say: “Daddy, you didn’t have to do that for me, but I love you for having thought of me and having done it.” And she’ll tell you this again, hours and days later.

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She will arch her back up to you as you pin her down on the bed or the couch or the table or the hood of the car.

She will crave your touch, burning with ecstasy beneath you as her seeking eyes gaze back up with the same passionate hunger you feel for her and her fingernails will carve their vehemence into you, scarring you with her mark.

You will yearn for her in your thoughts and make what you were thinking her reality, wrapping your heart around her senses as she wraps her legs around you.

You will drive into her with as much passion as she draws from you, taking her offering and draining her to completion, in a quest for more.

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She will walk with you, happily crinkling & treasuring her life as your BabyGirl.

She will long for your kiss.

She will take her shoes off, not just because it’s comfortable, but because of what it means to her.

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You will hold her hand as she skips happily along and you will cherish the responsibility of being her Daddy.

You will long for her touch, no matter where it comes from.

You will dress her in very little, not just because she’s beautiful, but because of how her image burns dreams into your mind.

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You will believe so strongly in each other that you will open your hearts, your worlds & your lives to each other.  From this position, you can be eternally happy or devastated in an instant.  And that vulnerability will be the testament of what you mean to each other.

You will live through her, because of her – and – likewise, she will of you, because of you.

You will want each other, realizing you found the soul who makes you feel good to be who you are.

You will need each other, realizing you found the essence of a life spent feeling something so intense that it becomes more dynamic than anything else.

You will love each other, knowing that what you want and what you need is right in front of you.

She is your “Be-All End-All” BabyGirl

The Daddy/BabyGirl Dyamic -

There are so many different kinds of relationships with so many different levels, it would take forever to list & define them all. Instead, why don’t I add one more to that list? Except, I’m not really adding it, because it’s been here all along.

It’s one that includes a dynamic that takes the emotions felt and intensifies them. Soon, the simple gestures he makes towards you are so inviting of your response, you follow his escort of your heart helplessly. He goes from being a part of your thoughts and of your world to being at the core of the obsessions that make up the impulses you call your mind.

It must be a dynamic with a lot of multi-layered satisfactions to be able to affect a soul in such a way. And that it is, but so much more.

It’s called many things: age play, role play, ABDL, diaper play, infantilism, but the name I like the most and relate to with a desire that will never leave is “The Daddy’s Girl Fetish”. The dynamic is tailor-made for a girl who has a little side and a guy who want nothing more that to “care” for her.

Most everyone has a side of themselves which they keep hidden and only the right set of circumstances in the right situation will generate the reassurance of safety and confidence of trust needed to be able to open one’s self up completely.

A “little” or a BabyGirl identifies with so many emotions and states of mind that she could completely change her disposition all the time were it not for the guidance of her Daddy. (But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still think it!) One minute she colors a picture of a little girl by a stream who is dancing with the fresh sunrays from a post-rain storm, rainbow-touched sky. The next minute she is sitting on the couch, absorbed in a pack of fruit snacks as her favorite TV show captures her attention. Then in walks her Daddy whom she dashes to for a warm embrace andsweet exchange of sentiments. Her world is so little and she feels little within it, almost to the point of being lost without him. For it is he, with a calm, caring, gentle approach filled with love and adoration, who makes her smile, inside and out. And it is the Daddy/BabyGirl dynamic which ignites her happiness into an impassioned frenzy for more.

Her heart seeks the Daddy who wants to love her for the little girl she is, to know what she is thinking before she thinks of it, to know what she needs before she needs it, to know why she does what she does and he nurtures her heart, praising her for her decisions every step of the way. He is collected in his thoughts while still being spontaneous enough to seize the moments that arise. And when it gets quiet, he either revs it up or keeps it settled, dependent not only on her mood but also on whether she needs to calm down for a little while. And all along the way, he finds the reward of fulfillment by giving her the same.

There are countless examples of activities, moments of tenderness, moments of excitement, met dreams, wishes, desires and so much more that will be unique and personal to each Daddy and BabyGirl couple.

And when that bond forms between them, the dynamic ceases to be “playing”, becoming a natural part of their relationship and who they are. The feelings and emotions are far more intense than anything a vanilla relationship can offer. And those feelings stay with you, even when in the midst of a simple shopping trip to the grocery store. You are able to carry little feelings and Care Giver feelings out into every facet of the world in which you exist. Without alerting the world around you of the nature of the dynamic in your relationship, you are able to keep it something that is private, therefore special to the both of you.

Leaving no secrets unrevealed to each other, in a Daddy/BabyGirl relationship you bare “the all” about yourself. And it will be from that relationship that you find the love you were always looking for in a soul mate you were meant to share it with.