I’m looking for something real. I’m looking for someone with her own wants and needs, her own dreams, desires, and fears. That’s part of what being a ‘real person’ means to me – that you have your own thoughts and feelings. If I wanted a sex toy without a brain, I can just go buy a plastic doll. I want a person I can interact with on many levels. I don't just want someone I can do all sorts of nasty things to, I want someone I can take care of, nurture, and protect.

I’m a real guy who just happens to be Dominant. As a friend of mine once put it, “A relationship without power exchange isn’t worthwhile, and sex without power exchange is just boring.” I agree with that completely. I want a woman for whom that is also true, although obviously I’m looking for someone whose submissive nature will complement my Dominant one. (Incidentally, my friend who said that is submissive, it’s something that can apply equally in both directions).

I want someone who can communicate clearly with me. I am not telepathic. Every sane individual has some limits – and I expect you to be able to verbally communicate yours to me. And the same applies to your needs and desires. You don’t have to be experienced enough to know these things for certain (exploration and willingness to push boundaries are encouraged!). But I would like you to be self-aware enough to discuss these topics openly.

What I am looking for has a lot more to do with personality, compatibility, and chemistry than it does with any list of activities. I want someone intelligent and resourceful, capable of being independent, but who desires to submit to me. Someone who knows what they are capable of, but would like to learn and grow under my influence. Someone who is honest and sincere and keeps the promises she makes.

In the long run, I'm looking for a deep commited relationship. But that is something I would have to grow into over time with my partner. I'm not going to jump into anything overnight. In the meantime... well, I hesitate to use the word “Poly” as it can mean different things to different people. But in general I am not at all jealous and have no problem with my partners dating others. Which certainly makes me compatible with Poly relationships. But it's not something I need, and I am certainly open to the possibility of a monogamous relationship - but it would have to be with someone truly exceptional.

I have a hard time establishing chemistry over the phone, and doubly so by chat or email. So I will usually prefer to meet someone in person sooner rather than later. That also helps weed out fakes. And by ‘meet’, I don’t mean sex or play – I prefer to meet someone for the first time in the security of a neutral, public location like a mall or restaurant, with no expectation that the meeting will last more than an hour or two at most.