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Hello all...
Begin caveat: I do believe bdsm titles are an intimacy that strangers do not have a right to. It broaches my consent to be called girl, bitch, slave, slut sub, bottom, Goddess or Mistress by anyone I am not intimately in relation with. Therefore, if you seek to correspond with me, please simply address me as Zaynub.
Currently I am looking for friends. I'm not jumping into anything with anyone. The last people I met from here ended up being less then honorable so I am not looking for anything serious at this time. I am sure there are bad apples in every bunch, but I prefer to not be associated with then and the only way to tell will be time.
If you're just looking for someone to hang out with talk and get to know, let me know. If you are solely looking for play I am not the person to contact.
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I am the kind of person who can attribute color to mood. Yesterday was a periwinkle day. Not really gray, not really blue, just this muddy mixture somewhere between a calm and the dull drums. I'm writing in pink today because I feel vulnerable, girlish and cute. I wonder what color tomorrow will be. :)
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Sub, Dom, Slave, Master, the elusive Switch... when do you know? How do you know? How can anyone be sure of anything but their self without spending years and years in a persons company? HUBRIS that's what it is. You cannot tell someone what they are. People just are. It's the nature of sentient life. Accept it and get over yourself.
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What is sleep that a body should actually crave it? Rest, replenishment, rebirth? And why is it that when it is wanted, it is one of those things that is SO elusive?
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On a warm summers eve on a train bound for no where I met up with the gambler we were both too tied to sleep. So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness, when boredom over took us he began to speak
He said, Son I've made my life, off readin peoples faces and knowing what the cards were by the way they held their eyes so If you don't mind me saying I can see your out of aces for a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice...
So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow and then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light and the night got deathly quiet and his face lost all expression said if you're gonna play the game boy, you gotta play it right
You gotta know when to hold um' know when to fold um' know when to walk away, know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table there will be time enough for countin' when the dealings done
Now every gambler knows, the secret to surviving is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep, cuz every hands a winner and every hands a loser and the best you can hope for is to die in your sleep...
So when he'd finished speaking he turned back toward the window and crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep. And somewhere in the darkness, the gambler he broke even, but in his final words I found an Ace I could keep. ~ Kenny Rogers, The Gambler
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Why does it always seem that when you want something its always just out of your grasp but when you need something the Universe has a way of providing it? Does the Universe then know the difference between what we want and what we need, or more importantly what's 'good' for us? Or alternatively, are we each just following a predetermined path set from before time? And does any of it really matter anyway? I'd like to think there is reason, but I am not 100% convinced that there is anything and reason least of all.
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Isn't it funny how sometimes someone suggests a thing, and immediately your haunches raise and your back contorts and venom literally spews from your mouth. Yet, when someone else suggests the same concept, and actually wants your honesty, it brings about a totally different reaction, and instead of bringing forth venom, your soul wants to pour out honey. But some things are just wishful thinking...
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Are dreams just random convergence of our thoughts and experiences throughout the day played over in our mind, or subconscious desires of ones psyche? I'm not sure I know the answer to that. Perhaps it's both. Irregardless my dreams last night leave a longing in me to submit and more than mere submitting but a real need to be owned. What does this say about me as a person? What does this mean when other days I have so much desire in me to control and care for another? Perhaps dreams are just that, dreams and ought not to be taken so literal...
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| Age: 24 |
| Buckinghamshire,
United Kingdom |
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