I know that it has been a while since i have posted in my journal here, quite a bit has happened within the house and life. Both my (at the time) Master and same Mistress both have gone through health problems and then for unknown reasons Master disappeared.  It has been 6 months with no contact from him and this slaves overall performance in the lifestyle has increased. My confidence level has increased so much. This slave has thought about everything that was happening and realized that it was being brow beaten and not to say that is wrong of a Master to do but it was undermining this slaves confidence in its ability to adequately serve. Since His departure Mistress has taken over the house and slave no longer feels the inadequacies that it felt before. slave has been left with other issues because of its former Masters betrayal (to be discussed at a later date).