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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Master, 55,  DENVER, Colorado
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ZDominant - photo 1
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I Believe that Practice Makes Perverts.
I Believe that Rituals help Define Who You Are.
I Believe Life is humbling. Humility is good for the soul.
I Believe Trust is built over time, through honesty and rational behavior.
I Laugh Every Day, as often as possible.

Looking around
Old School
Drama Free

Laid Back
Drummer and Percussionist




Drum Sticks
Snare Brushes
Marimba Mallets

Tympani Mallets

Baseball Bats

Shrink Wrap





Horse Tack



Climbing Gear



the list is endless....

Just Remember...every scene needs More Cow Bell.

Some of the following has changed and I am pondering what I want to delete and re-write. I've had a number of changes in My life recently (post Thunder and all), but I am still in flux. So ask Me if you have any specific questions. Update 7/23. I will continue to stay somewhat private. I am poly, and keep a fluid bond. I will only play with girls that I know, who are not into drama and who I can trust with My privacy. If you have mental, medical or emotional issues I need to know them before W/we meet. I know, I know, this is obvious stuff, but I feel the need to re state it.

Note: I will send face pics on request from real qualified girls. Otherwise I stay private.

I'm looking for both miss right and miss right now! Finding a partner for life takes time, so until I find her, I want to play with girls that want to play safe, privately or in a home environment with all the accoutrements of safe play. W/we can meet for coffee or lunch, then see what happens. I will supply references and expect the same from you. I'm looking for some one that wants to be an eventual sub or slave 24/7 at home, yet is a great companion in the vanilla world as well...some one that is well rounded, has similar interests as well as kinks....conversation first, then see where it goes. I'll wait to get more involved after I know you better. Chemistry is key. I am both a Sadist and a Sensualist...chuckles...that's My problem; I want it all. But I am not what is now being called a Sensual Sadist. I want a girl that can sit at My feet, in private and public, yet be My arm candy and intelligent helpmate, in the vanilla world, when appropriate as well. I want a girl that can be a sexual and service slave, as well as be a hell-hath-no-fury advocate for Me and U/us and Mine. I want a girl with a strong sense of humor, a quick laugh and a loving touch. I want a girl that will always touch Me and want to be touched. I am NOT a Dom/Master that is aloof and untouchable. In fact, I am the exact opposite of that. I will be in your face, looking at you, paying attention to you, wanting you, to be hands on. But I will also want a girl that is a self starter when I am otherwise busy. After you know Me and I've taught/trained you, I shouldn't have to tell you what to do and how to do it every time. ME: Dominant Male, single, intense, charming, nice guy in public (chuckles), nerdy, straight, experienced, private, ENTJ, educated, intelligent, professional, comfortable in My skin, long brown hair, hirsute, decent shape and attractive, no rock hard abs or pecs, just rock hard legs and glutes (because I'm a gear head bike rider). Most vanilla people think I'm a nice, talented somewhat intimidating guy that expects to get his own way and tells a few corny jokes and stories, helps people out, and volunteers sometimes.....weg A few of My vanilla friends know more. I prefer outdoor activities, especially play, skiing, hiking, camping, biking, mountain climbing, rafting, hot springs and swimming. Online Discretion is a priority. I won't post full face pictures here and I won't share any information that you share with Me. I will send you pics on request via email. I'm not your ordinary Dom. I'm sure you've heard that before. you: I am looking for a sub, slave, odalisque, service slave and/or beast/thing...preferably for 24/7 TPE, with similar vanilla interests and compatible kinks. I realize this is a broad group of girls, but it's about chemistry first. Looks and age are secondary to CHEMISTRY, and your willingness to share yourself and learn. I don't expect a slave to be the "end all be all" for Me. So, I am open to "dating" and playing privately, discretely, safely and consensually, while continuing to look for a suitable candidate. If you become that candidate, expect My intense attention, openness, honesty, loyalty and time, as I would expect the same from you. I want to build My future with some one. I am open to poly (more than one girl) but My experience has taught Me that poly is temporary, a few years at best. I'm looking for a permanent relationship. you take care of Me, and I take care of you. A few things I appreciate: If you think it's only about sex, you are wrong. If you discount the sex, you're an idiot. Belly dancing Burlesque: Pole dancing: Penelope Cruz:
Cell Block Tango:











Last Online:


 Dominant Male



 5' 11"

 185 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Friends Only

 Lives For:

 Bicycling (Expert)

 Massage (Getting) (Expert)

 Mental Bondage (Expert)



 Intellectual Discourse (Expert)

 Writing (Expert)

 Lifestyle BDSM (Expert)




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 Camping (Expert)



 Hiking (Expert)

 Horseback Riding

 Rafting (Beginner)

 Walking (Expert)

 Wind Surfing (Beginner)


 Anal Play (Expert)

 Begging (Expert)


 Body Worship (Expert)


 Breast Play (Expert)


 Canes and Crops


 Collars (Expert)


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 Tickling (Expert)


 Vibrators (Expert)

 Wax play


 Horror Movies

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 Gardening (Expert)




 1950s Lifestyle (Expert)


 Old Guard

 Alternative Music

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 Eighties Music

 Heavy Metal Music


 Nineties Music



 Rock Music

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 Amusement Parks

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 Fine Dining

 Flea Markets

 Renaissance Faires

 Volunteerism (Expert)


 Sailing (Beginner)

 Surf Boarding (Beginner)

 Tai-Chi (Beginner)

 Corner Time

 Domestic Service

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 Medical Play

 Needle Play

 Rubber Fetish


 Speech Restrictions


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 Card Games



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 Cooking (Expert)


 Herbalism (Beginner)








 Liberal Politics  (Expert)







 Political Activism (Expert)



 Country Music


 New Wave


 Pop Music

 Punk Rock Music





 Antique Shows

 Bar Hopping


 Going to the Opera (Beginner)

 Musical Theater



 Housework Service

 Board Games

 Libertarian Politics




 Classical Music

 Hip Hop Music

 Opera Music



 Curious About:

 Scuba Diving



 Sky Diving







 Local BDSM Community

 Gas Masks

 Arcade Games

 Conservative Politics



 Masks (Wearing)


 Hard Limits:


 Serving as a Butler


 Female Supremacy

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Journal Entries:
5/30/2013 10:45:48 AM


A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship.

Commentary: Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of "jealousy;" it is a positive emotional reaction to a loved one's other relationship. The term was coined by the Kerista Commune. It differs from candaulism in that compersion does not specifically refer to joy regarding the sexual activity of one's partner, but refers instead to joy at the relationship with another romantic and/or sexual partner. It is analagous to the feeling of joy a parent feels when their children marry or that best friends feel for each other when they are happy in a romantic relationship.

5/28/2013 6:23:14 AM

I just got back from vacation.  I saw old F/friends, played  a lot with a former sub of Mine, got to back pack and camp in the New River Gorge for 5 days, and sat in the hot tub numerous times.  Lots of rain though.  I rained almost every day.  I have new pics to download but not the time yet.  Good F/friends, Good food, and great play...chuckles. 

5/13/2013 7:00:15 PM

The local BDSM community and newbies:

I hear that there are issues in the local community again, and it may implode with lots of older guard members going private again......In other words, the same old story that happens every 10 years or so.  Oh, and DON'T FRIKKIN PICK UP OTHER PEOPLES TOYS UNLESS YOU ASK!  JESUS, DOES ANYONE HAVE MANNERS ANYMORE? 
And people wonder why W/we stay private....

4/16/2013 3:17:03 PM

One of the sexiest saddest songs ever.

4/12/2013 10:43:18 AM

Wouldn't it be fun to take your girl, dressed up like a little girl, to an orchestra concert of "Peter and the Wolf"?  Or how about "The Nutcracker"? 


LOL....and a weg

4/12/2013 8:29:03 AM

This if fucking hilarious!


Ship My Pants!

4/9/2013 7:16:12 PM

when I'm playing with a girl, and she's a pain slut and I have really beaten her, I make sure I have fruit, juice and protein around...for after care....she' gonna have a huge sugar crash and feel cold, even in a warm room....Even the next day, I check on her, make sure she's ok....I take a lot from a girl....I make sure she is taken care of after.  After care is always important.  But it's absolutely necessary when you play hard like I do.

4/9/2013 8:40:53 AM

It's snowing hard outside...nice and cozy in here....I'm thinking I'll do some self-torture and get out My cross country skis......chuckles.....


update:  damn.....not enough snow to use the skis

4/7/2013 11:01:11 AM

LMAO...lord love a duck...I love it when a sub calls and begs to come over and get beaten, and has some specific suggestions about how intense she needs it.......I love to be begged.....of course she knows I will do something, but maybe not what she begged for.

4/4/2013 9:10:35 AM

When I was 13, and very sexually active, I told My parents I never wanted to get married.  Because all I needed was a house maid, a cook and a masseuse.  What I did not tell them is I was already thinking about how to have a sex slave.  Years later, married and divorced, having had differing versions of subs, slaves and play partners....I'm looking again for all four.  I have play partners......ya know, gotta keep up with practice...

4/1/2013 9:31:56 AM
  • The Guardian

    ,Friday 19 September 2008

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?"

If you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise old fish explaining what water is, please don't be. I am not the wise old fish. The immediate point of the fish story is that the most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude - but the fact is that, in the day-to-day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have life-or-death importance. That may sound like hyperbole, or abstract nonsense. So let's get concrete ...

A huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. Here's one example of the utter wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute centre of the universe, the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely talk about this sort of natural, basic self-centredness, because it's so socially repulsive, but it's pretty much the same for all of us, deep down. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute centre of. The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real - you get the idea. But please don't worry that I'm getting ready to preach to you about compassion or other-directedness or the so-called "virtues". This is not a matter of virtue - it's a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting, which is to be deeply and literally self-centred, and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self.

By way of example, let's say it's an average day, and you get up in the morning, go to your challenging job, and you work hard for nine or ten hours, and at the end of the day you're tired, and you're stressed out, and all you want is to go home and have a good supper and maybe unwind for a couple of hours and then hit the rack early because you have to get up the next day and do it all again. But then you remember there's no food at home - you haven't had time to shop this week, because of your challenging job - and so now, after work, you have to get in your car and drive to the supermarket. It's the end of the workday, and the traffic's very bad, so getting to the store takes way longer than it should, and when you finally get there the supermarket is very crowded, because of course it's the time of day when all the other people with jobs also try to squeeze in some grocery shopping, and the store's hideously, fluorescently lit, and infused with soul-killing Muzak or corporate pop, and it's pretty much the last place you want to be, but you can't just get in and quickly out: you have to wander all over the huge, overlit store's crowded aisles to find the stuff you want, and you have to manoeuvre your junky cart through all these other tired, hurried people with carts, and of course there are also the glacially slow old people and the spacey people and the kids who all block the aisle and you have to grit your teeth and try to be polite as you ask them to let you by, and eventually, finally, you get all your supper supplies, except now it turns out there aren't enough checkout lanes open even though it's the end-of-the-day rush, so the checkout line is incredibly long, which is stupid and infuriating, but you can't take your fury out on the frantic lady working the register.

Anyway, you finally get to the checkout line's front, and pay for your food, and wait to get your cheque or card authenticated by a machine, and then get told to "Have a nice day" in a voice that is the absolute voice of death, and then you have to take your creepy flimsy plastic bags of groceries in your cart through the crowded, bumpy, littery parking lot, and try to load the bags in your car in such a way that everything doesn't fall out of the bags and roll around in the trunk on the way home, and then you have to drive all the way home through slow, heavy, SUV-intensive rush-hour traffic, etc, etc.

The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this is exactly where the work of choosing comes in. Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don't make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I'm going to be pissed and miserable every time I have to food-shop, because my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me, about my hungriness and my fatigue and my desire to just get home, and it's going to seem, for all the world, like everybody else is just in my way, and who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem here in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line, and look at how deeply unfair this is: I've worked really hard all day and I'm starved and tired and I can't even get home to eat and unwind because of all these stupid goddamn people.

Or if I'm in a more socially conscious form of my default setting, I can spend time in the end-of-the-day traffic jam being angry and disgusted at all the huge, stupid, lane-blocking SUVs and Hummers and V12 pickup trucks burning their wasteful, selfish, 40-gallon tanks of gas, and I can dwell on the fact that the patriotic or religious bumper stickers always seem to be on the biggest, most disgustingly selfish vehicles driven by the ugliest, most inconsiderate and aggressive drivers, who are usually talking on cell phones as they cut people off in order to get just 20 stupid feet ahead in a traffic jam, and I can think about how our children's children will despise us for wasting all the future's fuel and probably screwing up the climate, and how spoiled and stupid and disgusting we all are, and how it all just sucks ...

If I choose to think this way, fine, lots of us do - except that thinking this way tends to be so easy and automatic it doesn't have to be a choice. Thinking this way is my natural default setting. It's the automatic, unconscious way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life when I'm operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the centre of the world and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world's priorities. The thing is that there are obviously different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic, all these vehicles stuck and idling in my way: it's not impossible that some of these people in SUVs have been in horrible car accidents in the past and now find driving so traumatic that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive; or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he's trying to rush to the hospital, and he's in a much bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am - it is actually I who am in his way.

Again, please don't think that I'm giving you moral advice, or that I'm saying you're "supposed to" think this way, or that anyone expects you to just automatically do it, because it's hard, it takes will and mental effort, and if you're like me, some days you won't be able to do it, or you just flat-out won't want to. But most days, if you're aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-up lady who just screamed at her little child in the checkout line - maybe she's not usually like this; maybe she's been up three straight nights holding the hand of her husband who's dying of bone cancer, or maybe this very lady is the low-wage clerk at the Motor Vehicles Dept who just yesterday helped your spouse resolve a nightmarish red-tape problem through some small act of bureaucratic kindness. Of course, none of this is likely, but it's also not impossible - it just depends on what you want to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is and who and what is really important - if you want to operate on your default setting - then you, like me, will not consider possibilities that aren't pointless and annoying. But if you've really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options. It will be within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars - compassion, love, the sub-surface unity of all things. Not that that mystical stuff's necessarily true: the only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're going to try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's true. In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship - be it JC or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles - is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things - if they are where you tap real meaning in life - then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already - it's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness. Worship power - you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart - you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out.

The insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful; it is that they are unconscious. They are default settings. They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing. And the world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the world of men and money and power hums along quite nicely on the fuel of fear and contempt and frustration and craving and the worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom to be lords of our own tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the centre of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the "rat race" - the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing.

I know that this stuff probably doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational. What it is, so far as I can see, is the truth with a whole lot of rhetorical bullshit pared away. Obviously, you can think of it whatever you wish. But please don't dismiss it as some finger-wagging Dr Laura sermon. None of this is about morality, or religion, or dogma, or big fancy questions of life after death. The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness - awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: "This is water, this is water."

· Adapted from the commencement speech the author gave to a graduating class at Kenyon College, Ohio

3/31/2013 4:38:46 PM

So...another Dom goes to a family Easter picnic party, with his adult kids, grand kids and many others as well as his domineering ex.....and he brings 2 subs with him..and one proceeds to sit at his feet most of the day, and then make out with the other sub.  LMAO 


I love it...

3/31/2013 12:40:06 PM

I'm not a patient Man.  That's why I try to find the humor in in general.  But there are  times that I can fall down laughing.....people watching is a lot of fun.





3/27/2013 4:18:55 PM

I was tired of cynical subs years ago.  I'm still tired of them.  big turn off....hitch up your get-along and keep on romancing....

3/23/2013 3:01:00 PM


He Hit Me, And It Felt Like a Kiss:  by the Crystals

6/23/2012 6:12:18 PM

Old Hands, Old Guard (those W/who are still alive), shake their heads at online BDSM, for good reason.  With the explosion of knowledge of BDSM, 90% of what you see online as knowledge is usually bull shit. 

Much as I like the fact the Life has become more mainstream...I get frustrated with how people use words without knowing what they really mean.  I get frustrated with people who should know better, assuming they know what a Sadist is, only based on a vanilla definition.  Put 10 online Sadists in a room, you have 10 definitions.  Two are domineering Asses, four are wannabes with a flogger, three are wimpy husbands with overbearing wives, and one is A follower of the Marquis de Sade ( AND NOT THE MOVIE VERSION).  The Marquis got off on the pleasure pain connection.  If you actually read the original books, Justine, 120 Days of Sodom....., The Bedroom Philosophers... you know that he took things to extremes ONLY with willing participants.

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