I am an attractive, single girl in college, looking for pathetic losers like you to help me maintain the lifestyle I enjoy. I'm spoiled, and I expect you to give me everything you can. I will not speak to you unless your message really catches my eye.

You will never deserve my attention, but your attempts at worthiness may amuse me, and that's all you can hope to achieve.

Also looking for maids, gardeners, chauffeurs, etc... If interested, do your best to impress me. And trust me, I'm not easily impressed.