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I have finally accepted that i'm a loser. my family hates me, i've never been able to do anything right and I have no friends. I'm a waste of space that shouldn't have been born. I know I don't have any self esteem and I stopped caring about myself a long time ago.
The way my life is now I have no future. My parents are kicking me out soon, I have no place to go, don't know what to do and have no plan. For me its either a slow death in some alley or gutter or come here for one last try to make myself useful. Any life I would have, even if I had one, would be nothing but uselessness and selfishness. A drain on society and of no value or importance to anyone or anything
What I need is a cause. Something to believe in unquestioningly. Something to fight for, to sacrifice myself for and to lose myself to. I want to be a believer. I don't care what it is I believe in, I just need to serve something or someone greater than myself.
I'm a follower, a loser, someone nobody will ever miss or care about. Serving a cause is all I have left, the only way I can forget who and what I am.
I need someone to teach me a truth, their truth. Make me believe in you and your cause. Show me something better and you will make me your devoted follower. I ask for nothing other than to be made a loyal believer. In return I offer everything I am and everything I have to the cause
For me, the loss of self is a relief. I won't be me anymore. I'll have a purpose and nothing will be allowed to get in the way of that
I know what i'm asking for. I know that whatever or whoevers cause I serve will lead to me being used, taken advantage of and probably disposed of when i've outlived my usefulness to the cause. I don't care. The cause is what matters, the sacrifice of a follower or two is insignificant in comparison. I understand this and will accept what happens and my fate, gratefully.
All I ask for is the freedom to lose myself in service to a cause. If you can offer me that, please contact me
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