Have you ever been on vacation in one of those places that teem with curious bazaars tucked into narrow maze-like streets and back alleys in the old part of town, all just waiting to feed the hordes of tourists cheap knock-offs and sparkling bling-bling hackled down to prices so low you just can’t resist? I mean, we NEED that camel’s wool jacket even though it stinks and it’s 35C in the shade, right?! Or that gaudy little picture of the dolphin leaping out of the waves just off the shore of some idyllic Greek isle with picturesque white houses and olive trees. We just HAVE to have it! - as a memento to take home and forever remind us of the fantastic holiday we took wherever we’re buying this.

If any of this sounds even vaguely familiar to you, perhaps you will also be familiar with the scourge of such places. That infamous and ever annoying street vendor that just won’t quit his pushy attempt to get you to buy something. Special Price! Just for you! I don’t know about you… but I find it vaguely entertaining for the first 10 minutes… then it’s just a pain in the butt. And by the time I’m halfway through my vacation I am attempting my own version of Medusa’s approach.

I’ve been to several places like that. And actually, I am reminded of that often when I log onto CM. Because really, this place isn’t that different when you think about it.

I get a lot of email from a great variety of people, and thankfully the vast majority of it is absolutely delightful. But about 10-15% of the incoming emails I receive are markedly different. They are defaults, written not for me and not in response to my profile but simply to advertise someone else's profile and agenda. They are for all intents and purposes promotion material, tossing some prefabricated sales pitch and inviting you to view their details and contact them for more information. In “normal email” terms off CM that kind of correspondence is called spam and is actually illegal – not to mention tainted with a high frequency rate of fradulence.

I read somewhere that more than 90% of all the emails sent in the world are spam, and keeping it away from our inboxes is a billion dollar industry, so I’d say it is a pretty safe bet to say that people don’t like it.

So, why on Earth would anyone here – regardless of what they seek or why – choose to represent themselves that way? Why would people pick something that isn’t just illegal but also detested and avoided like the plague to introduce themselves to the very people whose attention they want?

The reason I have often been told is … to save time. Because they are tired of fakers and wannabe’s and people not answering their messages. Whose time is it they save? Because being on the receiving end of those default emails… I can assure you that it sure as hell isn’t MY time they save. Nor is it MY preferences they accommodate. I am just another name… another “mark” to try their luck on. Charming, isn't it!? ...

Spam is spam. The whole purpose of it is to save the sender time and money – or in this case, effort - on advertising. And here, it is to save Mr. Special price the time and effort it takes to read profiles and write a personal reply.

So, in other words, when you send me a default email, I am going to consider you Mr. Special Price. I am going to have the impression that you are too lazy to make the effort to read and respect what I have expressed in my profile, and I will respond to you in one of two ways, depending on mood. Either I will send you my own prefabricated default response – and reactions so far suggest it’s not all too popular with its recipients – or I am going to pull the CM version of Medusa’s trick on you and simply block you.