Damn bacon is GOOD...in fact it's GREAT!!!!!!! I just had to say that. I don't have it often but when I have it I have to wonder why I don't have it more often.

I speculated to someone the other day that I really had no real drive to play for quite awhile..and I wondered if I'd lost the taste for it or if somewhere inside me I'd just shoved it down and blocked it so as to not feel the loss of play so keenly as a protection mechanism.  This is a bit circuitous but it DOES circle round back to this point eventually.

I stopped taking this place too seriously a long time ago deciding for the most part it was a meat market and I didn't want to be the cut on daily special. I check in every now and again. I don't get too many messages and usually they are of the kneel whore variety that are easily dismissed. Or they are words of encouragement from those that are already fitted with partners. Those I appreciate..thanks by the way. They give me hope that there is intelligent life to be found. Every so often I'll get a message from what seems like a possible prospect.

We all know that just cause they seem possible doesn't mean they are but you have to check these things out. I mean, it could happen...right??? Well I recieved a couple such contacts all at once...that never happens that I recieve more than one....turns out one was was a good man...we're just not suited and the other....oh I won't even go there. I don't even know what to say..sighs. Anyway...

I have my answer to the original question and this is where this all comes back full circle.
The talk with the men, I guess repeatedly is what did it or thinking that we may have this Dom thing possibly nailed as in the case of one of them, engaged my mind again in a lifestyle way. It opened doors apparently long closed and pulled back drapes long drawn. Maybe I should have left well enough alone is what I am thinking now.  Where there was a cool barren tundra..nothing of note but nothing to stumble over either is now a writhing hotbed of need and desire. Now I want, I ache, I yearn....sighs....it kind of is great...at least now I know, but it kind of sucks pretty bad too cause I live in this barren wasteland of nothingness and I have to just kind of suffer the pangs of need. I'm not one to take on a man just to have one...not any old one will do cause he has a penis and claims to be a Dom...it has to be the RIGHT one or not at all. It has to be that way or the hurt in the end would just be that much greater. Know what I mean?

Ok, I have decided that my new fav vid...for those things lifestyle that burn in my soul is Justify My Love by Madonna....yeah it can so get that way...that smoldering, sultry insistant need...oh yeah....in fact just listening to it reminds me...mmmmm, sighs..

"Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another...love me- that's right, love me- I wanna be your baby....wanting, needing waiting for you to justify my love.... yearning, burning-for you to justify my love...what you gonna do, what you gonna do- talk to me"

oh yessss.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np_Y740aReI

Ok, I have already recieved flack from one individual on my relating the dream I had. He said and I quote.."Why would you think I would like that entry?" and told me not to bother replying back....huh??? WOW, act like an ass much there buddy? 

Well geez, for one I was being friendly in the course of a friendly conversation and it was a bit of fictional erotic writing some might find enjoyable. Apparently not HIM- fair enough except being the ass part. 

So I'm not sure if he meant it was offensive because I (GASP) mentioned it was a black man that was the focus and thus MUST be racist or that (GASP) I dreamt about having sex with a black guy at all and I am not racist ENOUGH! 

Look, all you all on both sides of the race war thingamabob dohickey, leave MY ass out of it would you please? I'm opting out of the whole race war and electing to just like what I like without apology and not like what I don't like without apology if you all don't mind. And what I dream about? No one has any say over that, including ME! 

The truth of it is that often I don't find many black men attractive in that kind of way but there has been a few that have made me just quiver to my toes who I would have done in a hot minute- had they not been stuck on the tv screen or in my friends arms. Same with women. Just like very few east indian men do it for me but again there has been a few, and so forth and so on with every style and type of man there is. So does that make me racist because many of them don't yank my chain or not racist enough because a small number I see or meet do in a major way? Ok, whatever, you guys argue that out amongst yourselves. 

Oh by the way for those with a phobia to vampires.....I got lightly bit by one of those RL too AND fantasized about it for years after. Just saying in case you want to avoid me on account of prejudice against vampires. I HAVE been corrupted and contaminated and LOVED it. 

Oh and those who don't like dogs. I let mine kiss me frequently....you'll probably want to avoid me on that basis. 

And those who don't like cats, I let them rub against some part of my body daily. And those that hate green...I garden...ect, ect... 

In short, if you want to find a reason to dislike me, I am really sure you don't have to go very far. So spare me all the moral outrage...would ya? 

If you are that narrow minded or intimidated either direction...save me the grief and go elsewhere. Where there is no room for honesty of at least thought, dream and fantasy without reprisal...then I fail to see the point of even trying the whole D/s thing. The seasoned dominants out there will know exactly what I mean. 

So I woke up just a bit ago from this dream I had and I cant get it out of my head…not sure why. 

I dreamt that my girl had her school once a week at home most times and occasionally at school there would be a special project and her teacher was this black man. He was intelligent, he was polite with just a touch of that dominant vibration flowing through him, he was warm.  Sometimes when he rolled up his sleeves to help the kids on a project I would catch myself staring at the muscled strength of his arms. And his skin, his skin was the warmest brown color..I don’t know but there was something about it.

I’d help out when and where I could and we developed a good working relationship- almost friends. It was happy and relaxed and fun. Sometimes he’d look up and smile at me and for a moment my breath would catch and hang in my throat a moment before I admonished myself to be just a bit real, this was my daughter’s teacher. As we moved in close quarters at times he would casually and lightly lay a hand on my arm or back…nothing inappropriate mind you. He was the one to admire from afar. Until the day he wasn’t….. 

I had an errand to run that took me next to a particular park where there were sports courts there. He called out to me as I approached with a smile. He had been standing and talking to a few people apparently. He looked so good in the more casual clothes he was wearing for his free time. He had asked a person walking up for a cigarette even though he usually didn’t smoke. He knew I had more or less quit too but still every once in a while wanted one. 

I was talking to one of his friends when a cigarette held between two fingers appeared in front of me from around my shoulder. A voice warm, teasing, rich in my ear said, “Thought you’d appreciate this.” I growled softly under my breath and at more than the temptation of the cigarette. His voice became even more velvety, stroking my senses as he leaned in closer and whispered more intimately, “Come on, live a little. You know you want to.” For a moment my breath caught, does he mean more than the cigarette? It was as if he knew. I slipped my hand over his taking the cigarette from his fingers as I turned my face to him, eyes rising to meet his. I smiled and managed to breathe out a thank you. He smiled back his eyes twinkling and….something else I couldn’t put my finger on. 

“You’re more than welcome,” he said as he ran his finger along my cheek. I felt his hand slide gently over my hip as he half turned and began digging in his pocket. The feel of his hand on my hip had me just a bit breathless. I was certain that I didn’t want him to find whatever he was looking for in case that would make him let go of me but he quickly pulled out a lighter which he sparked into flame with one hand and cupping the other around it. I lit the cigarette and drew deeply on it thinking that it was GREAT while it lasted with a bit of longing. 

After I had taken another pull on the cigarette he laughed and said, “Cigarette hog…save some for me.” He slipped his hand over my hip and then even further pulling me up snug against his length this time as he slipped the cigarette from my fingers with the other. His body felt so warm, so strong and safe up against me that while I was initially stiff and uncertain for a moment that I quickly relaxed into him. He shifted behind me as he talked to his friends and I felt his hardness through his sweat pants up against my backside. Wow, just wow, he apparently liked me as much as I did him.

We stood like that as he talked, I was content to listen and soak him in, you couldn’t have paid me enough to go anywhere. His hand idly, casually grazing up and down along my hip as he talked, the way his hardness pressed into me, the rumble of his voice next to my ear….it all had me a bit breathless with my heart racing. I didn’t know how or when things would change again, how the whole school thing would look in the future, all I knew was that this moment was perfection and I wanted it to last forever. 

His friends had to go and he slid his hand down my arm and took my hand in his. “Come with me…” he said. It was a question but not a question. I followed him as he led me to his vehicle. He sat in the passenger seat and beckoned me to sit on his lap. I felt awkward and embarrassed yet again now that my senses were not drugged by physical contact with him, blushing I hesitated. He grinned and held out his hand saying in that intimate, almost commanding voice, “come here babygirl.” 

I slipped into his lap, straddling it, facing him, thinking to myself what the hell am I doing, this is my kid’s TEACHER. We talked a good while as he ran his hands lightly up and down my back, over my sides, traced along my breasts. He slid his hand up into my hair and slowly tightened his grip on it. He pulled my lips down to his and kissed me deeply, lingeringly then along my jaw to my ear. 

In a rough, husky yet rich voice he whispered, breath warm against my ear. “You know I am going to have you…right here, right now. I’ve wanted you for so long now. It’s time.” He pulled me tighter against him as I nodded wordlessly. A hand slid down to my ass lifting slightly as another slid in between us, freeing him from his sweatpants then slipping under my underwear and pulling it to the side. The feel of his soft hardness seeking me, brushing over then between tender lips almost undid me. I shifted my hips to help him find his way. He growled and I moaned under my breath as he pushed deep into me.  He whispered raggedly in my ear. “That’s it, just open your legs wide, take all of me and hold on babygirl, I’ll do the rest. I’ll take good care of you.” I did as he said and opened my legs even wider. “MMMM,” he groaned, “that’s it, good girl!” going deeper than I thought he could or would. He held me tight to him rocking me on him pushing deeper then not, deeper still then not, even deeper still. I began to whimper and pant lightly as the pleasure started to take over. 

He slid his hand up into my hair and pulled my face down next to his, “MMmmhmmmm,” he purred in my ear, “that’s it, good girl.” The whimpers became more frantic and higher pitched as things began to build. “MMmmm, yessss ,” he moaned…….I could feel him start to swell inside of me which only drove me higher. “Come for me” he ground out raggedly, “give it to me babygirl.” I gasped as my body tightened, responding to his words… 

Then the phone rang and woke me up…..(pouts petulantly) …..damn stupid phones ought to all be blown up……that’s all I have to say.  Ruins a perfectly great seduction every damn time.